Being a Woman
by financebabe
Summary: After receiving a terrifying diagnosis, Stephanie has to walk the emotional and painful road to remission. This is the hopeful story of friendship and love that grows from that process. A Babe HEA.
1. Something's Wrong

_All the characters are a result of the creative genius of JE._

_Fredda (Rangergirl1234), thank you so much for agreeing to work with me as the Beta on this story, and for being willing to handle such a delicate and emotional story. _

**Chapter 1 – Something's Wrong**

_Stephanie's POV_

"Stephanie," the young girl called my name and I stood and dutifully and followed her back to the exam room in the doctor's office.

She smiled at me as though everything in her life was perfect and I swallowed hard to try and resist the resentment that was building in response to her perky outlook.

"Step up on the scales and we'll get the hard part out of the way," she joked, as though my weight were the thing I feared most in going to the doctor's office.

"139," she announced and then winked at me and said, "You're in long pants and boots, so I'll write 137."

"Thanks," my Burg manners wouldn't allow me to tell her what I really thought about her favor in reducing my overall weight, so I smiled and followed her down the hall.

I washed my hands after using the bathing room and then picked up the little cup with the required sample she requested and handed it to her. I wondered if I needed to wash my hands again after handling the cup once more, but I pushed that thought away and continued down the narrow hall to a small exam room.

The world's perkiest nurse took the required vitals and wrote everything down, only commenting that my blood pressure was on the high side of normal. "Are you nervous?" She asked as though it were possible for me to answer 'no, I love coming to the doctor first thing in the morning.'

Then Nurse Happy produced a thin cotton gown and a paper sheet along with the instructions, "Put the ties in the front, cover up with the sheet and relax. The doctor will be with you in a few minutes."

I nodded and waited until the door shut tightly to hop down and follow her instructions. I had barely gotten the sheet tucked in around my legs hoping to have everything covered when the door opened and a man I didn't recognize walked in with his face pointing at my chart as though my medical history were the most interesting reading in the world.

"Miss Plum," he began speaking without looking up. "What brings you in to see me today?"

"Actually, I thought I was going to see Dr. Meyer," I corrected, still unsure who this was.

Finally he looked up and introduced himself, "I'm Dr. Peters and I'm the new partner in the practice. Dr. Meyer is pulling back his hours and I'm picking up the slack." Wow, I got the newbie and I'm slack. I'm not sure which one is more insulting. "So what brings you in to see me today?" He asked once more.

Realizing I was here now and I may as well have something to show for it, I began, "I thought I might have felt something on my chest and wanted to know if it was normal." I knew my face was at least three different shades of red and wondered if I would be able to spill all the necessary details to the man that looked no more than twenty-five, who had now looked back down at my chart once more.

Finally, he sat the paperwork on the counter and walked over to the table where I was sitting. "Any pain or tenderness?" He asked with his hands in his white coat pockets. I nodded, but said nothing, wondering if I could make myself admit to what brought me in.

I had finally captured Jason Jenkins after trying for nearly two weeks. He wasn't violent, so I was given his file, but he was crafty and the bond was fairly high. I'd tried just about every angle to get him but had failed every time. Finally, I convinced Grandma Mazur to help me and she knocked on his front door announcing herself as a bond enforcement agent. He quietly walked to his back door to sneak away where I was waiting with my stun gun at the ready. I didn't think he'd hurt me but my pride told me I had to get him today before the bail was forfeited.

Once I had him in cuffs the effects of the voltage I gave him began to wear off and when he woke up Grandma was smiling at him. "Who are you?" he asked, confused about what happened.

"I told you I was here to take you to the police station but you seemed to think you needed to run, so I had to get a little rough." She said with a straight face, as though she had single handedly knocked him out.

His face was a little green at the idea so I decided to help him out. "Mr. Jenkins we need to get you back to the police station. I am Stephanie Plum and I'll be glad to take you in if you'd like."

He looked between us and nodded quickly. As much as tough guys hated being taken in by a woman I could tell that being taken in by a thirty three year old woman versus someone in her eighties was clearly a better option, so he allowed me to walk him to my car. Grandma's friend Ethel was waiting at the curb and she drove away laughing about how much more fun it was to hang out with me than her daughter. I smiled, thinking how lucky I was to have such a crazy relative. I knew she wasn't exactly the typical grandmother, but compared to her I felt closer to normal.

At the station Jenkins walked in easily and I got my receipt and left with a smile on my face. It had just gotten my first big bond and I wasn't even covered in garbage. My life was pretty good. I decided to celebrate and called in an order at Pino's to carry home and share with Rex.

When I got to the counter Tony behind the register saw me and waved that my sub was ready. I looked down to pull out my wallet from my pocketbook and ran into the back of the person in line ahead of me. I began apologizing profusely, embarrassed to have not been looking where I was going.

"Cupcake," came the friendly voice of Joe Morelli, telling me I hadn't done any harm. "Dinner?" He asked, pointing to the bag on the counter and I nodded.

"I was going to celebrate bringing in Jenkins with no hiccups," I confessed.

He told Tony to put my dinner on his bill and paid for us both. "It looks like we had the same idea. I was just going home to watch the game and kick back. Do you want to hang out for a little while?"

I agreed quickly thinking it would be nice to have a little company. Joe and I had officially called it quits three months ago and after the first few awkward weeks we had shared the occasional game and had lunch a few times, allowing us to rebuild the friendship that was now solid and in its appropriate place in our lives.

We sat on his sofa eating and yelling at the television as though our opinions would sway the referees. After we were done and Bob, Morelli's dog, had finished the scraps of bread and the wax paper the subs had been wrapped in, I found myself leaning against Joe's side with his arm around my shoulder.

I told him about my capture of Jenkins and he laughed at Grandma's Mazur's role, agreeing any man alive would gladly take a ride to the station with me if they had the option of escaping being in a confined space with my grandmother. We laughed and I was glad I came over to have someone to share the night with.

As I was thinking that, we both grew quiet and that familiar feeling of being drawn to Joe came over me. We leaned to each other at the same time and when our mouths touched it felt comfortable, like going back to the same vacation spot you'd been to your whole life. It was fun and predictable, and it felt good to feel wanted so I put my hand on the back of his neck and opened my mouth to his advances.

We kissed for a few minutes before Joe ruined the moment by moving down my neck and saying, "Cupcake, the boys have certainly missed you."

I decided to overlook his comment in the hope of his mouth finding something better to do than engage in conversation. His free hand landed on my thigh and then moved up across my hip to graze my ribs and land on my left breast. He squeezed it gently and I moaned thinking how much I wished he would move his hand to under my shirt and do that again just a little harder.

As if responding to my unspoken thought, he moved his hand to my bare skin and retraced his path to my bra. He began to massage my breast just as I'd hoped he would, but when his fingers dug into the side I sucked in a breath because it felt tender and painful. Joe had never hurt me before so I knew he wasn't touching me that hard. My response didn't make sense. Of course he noticed my reaction and pulled back, immediately moving away from me and running his hand through his hair.

"Steph, I'm sorry…" He stumbled out. "I didn't mean to do that. I know we're just friends, but some habits are hard to break."

I cut him off, knowing I was just as much to blame. "No worries, Joe. I was just as guilty, but I don't think we should do this again." I hoped he understood I meant we shouldn't make out again and I definitely enjoyed his company before that. It felt awkward and neither of us knew what to say, so I stood up and looked around for my purse. "I've got to go, but I appreciate dinner." I said, trying to remember my manners.

He walked me to the door and grabbed my hand as I tried to slip past him. "Steph, I'm really sorry. Are we okay?"

I smiled at my friend. "Yea, we're good." I promised him, hoping it was true. "I'll see you around Joe." I called as I made my way out to my car.

When I got home I jumped in the shower and tried to wash off what almost happened. It's not that Joe was a bad guy; I loved him in a lot of ways. But I knew I didn't love him in the way that counted so what almost happened tonight would have been a huge mistake and I wanted to forget about it.

While I was soaping up I ran my hand over my breast where it had been painful. It seemed fine now, but when I pressed on it there was something small that my fingers slid over. It was like a tiny frozen pea buried in the tissue where my breast met my under arm. I checked the other side, assuming it was probably something I had always had and never noticed, but I couldn't find anything like that on the right no matter now hard I pressed.

I worried about it all night and after not sleeping at all I woke up Friday morning and called the doctor's office to see if I could be seen. I kept telling myself it was nothing and just wanted a doctor to confirm it so that I could relax. But, until I had that confirmation I was going to be on edge. The receptionist was kind enough to get me an appointment first thing Monday morning and as much as I hated dragging myself out of bed for an 8:00 visit to the doctor, I accepted it. Of course now that I was here I was convinced this was all in my head and I just wished for a way to magically disappear to never have to face Dr. Peters again.

The doctor spoke again bringing my attention back to the present. "Let's take a look." He began and instructed me to lie back and assume the position with my arm bent at the elbow and my hand under my head. He untied the bow I had carefully made to keep the gown closed and I began my careful examination of the ceiling tiles while his surprisingly warm hands began to rub little circles on my breast and into my arm pit.

I was thankful I decided to shave with a new razor this morning so I knew there was no stubble there to be embarrassed about. He switched from one side to the other and then went back to the left once more. All the while he sported a blank face that would have made my friends at RangeMan proud.

He finally grunted, pulled the gown closed by overlapping the sides and ignoring the ties and then stepped away to scribble in my chart. I waited as patiently as I possibly could but I finally couldn't take it anymore and said, "Is everything okay?"

He finished his current note before responding, "There is a small abnormality that warrants further testing before I can answer that definitively." He said as though he were describing a stock's performance on Wall Street instead of my body.

Then he picked up a prescription pad and started writing once more. "Take this to the front desk and have them schedule a mammogram. The results from that will give us a lot more to go on and we will decide what our next steps should be then.

"What might the next steps be?" I asked, trying to contain my panic.

"It's too soon to say for sure; it may be perfectly normal or benign, so until you have the test there is no benefit in speculating." I began to relax thinking he would have said something if he thought it might be serious. "Just tell the associate at the front desk to schedule it as soon as possible." That last comment took away any measure of comfort he might have previously given. If it were harmless why was there such a rush to get it done?

I nodded mutely and took the paper he offered. "Once your results are back I'll have someone give you a call to let you know if you need to come back in." He concluded, before extending his hand to shake mine and then walking out.

When the door closed I sat there for a minute trying to figure out what just happened. Fortunately, a feeling of numbness spread over me as I realized I still knew absolutely nothing. Methodically I removed the gown and jumped down from the table to redress. Just before I walked out I turned back and carefully folded the gown and the sheet. I don't know why I did it; I knew it had to be thrown into a bin of dirty linens but I still felt the need to leave the room as neat as I found it. As if I needed further evidence something was wrong, now I was voluntarily cleaning things.

I gripped the little square of paper and walked to the lady at the check-out desk. She smiled kindly and took the paper before typing away madly. Then she picked up the phone and told the person on the other end that she needed to schedule a mammogram for their earliest possible appointment. She paused and waited, continuing to type away.

Finally she held up a card that said, "Tuesday, 7:45 AM" and raised her eyebrows in tandem, apparently asking if that was alright with me. I tried to hold back my internal cringe at having to be up and functional at 7:45 tomorrow morning but I nodded and she provided all the necessary information to secure the appointment on my behalf.

Then she told me, "I'll call your insurance company to confirm the referral from our office for the test so you don't have anything to worry about."

I smiled and thanked her just trying to keep putting one foot in front of the other to make it out to my car. I started it up and began driving without thinking and found myself at RangeMan in the garage. A knock on my window made me jump and scream. I put my hand over my heart as though that simple action could in fact slow my heart rate and then turned off the car and stepped out to a rowdy bunch of Merry Men.

"I know it's early, but you do realize that you have to actually get out of the car and go upstairs for it to count as hours worked," Lester teased.

I smiled and rolled my eyes as a response, which only encouraged him to keep talking as we rode in mass to the fifth floor offices. Based on how the guys were dressed I assumed there had been an alarm at a client. The fact they were so happy probably meant there was a break in of some sort that they were able to interrupt. Strange how using their guns and threatening the bad guys always brought out the playful side of my coworkers.

I walked to my cubicle and sat down, staring at the inbox which had magically refilled itself since I was last in the office. I knew I'd missed a few days but that pile of paperwork was ridiculous. I was just about to turn on my computer when a thought crossed my mind, forcing me to jump up and go to Tank's office.

I knew he was there since he rode up with us in the elevator. I knocked a few times and waited for him to bark, "Enter," before pushing the door open and barging in.

_Tank's POV_

"Hey little girl, what can I do for you?" I asked when Stephanie opened the door to my office. She stood there for a brief second before moving forward and sitting on the edge of the guest chair across the desk from me. Everything about her was off. She was quiet, slightly dazed, and she looked edgy, like she was not comfortable in her own skin. I didn't want to push her but I needed to know what was wrong.

Finally my patience paid off as she asked, "Do I still have insurance through RangeMan?"

"Yea," I assured her. "The Bossman has kept it on you because of the time you spend doing searches for us, and the risk involved in some of the skips we go after. He didn't want you to ever be without coverage, so you're covered under us." I hoped that explanation was enough to help her relax but it didn't seem to make a difference.

"If someone here were to have a really expensive test run, would it make the cost for everybody go up?" She asked quietly.

I had no idea where this was going but I hated every single possibility my mind was coming up with. "Because of what we do, the policies here are already rated as highly as an insurance carrier can make them. They can't raise the rates any more than they already are, no matter what, so we tell everybody to take advantage of that and let their doctors go test crazy if they need to." I didn't know if the shit I was shoveling was true or not but I hoped she would buy it. She would definitely sacrifice her own health to try and protect RangeMan if she thought it would make a difference.

She nodded as though what I said had been heard but I didn't feel like she was really listening to me. Her eyes were still glazed over and had no sparkle. I stood up and walked around her to shut the door before sitting in the chair next to hers. "Are you going to tell me what's going on?" I asked, hoping she would trust me enough to confide in me.

My words snapped her out of whatever place she'd escaped to and she shook her head no, plastered on a fake smile and said, "No, nothing's wrong. I just needed a little information and knew you were the man with all the answers."

She toyed with the hem of the shirt she was wearing before smoothing it out quickly.

"I don't meant to overstep here, but I think that's bullshit." I confronted her. This might be one of those situations that needed to be handled carefully and delicately, but that was never my strong suit. I just decided to call it like I saw it and I knew she was lying.

Her eyes got bigger and when she looked at me they began to fill with tears before she looked up to the ceiling to try and blink them away. I reached out for her hand, holding its small form between my much larger ones. "You know any man here would give anything to think he might be able to help you in some way, right?"

She nodded, "I know that." She put her free hand on top of mine and I looked at the pile of limbs in her lap and smiled.

Most people would be terrified to even be alone with me, much less have me touching them this closely, but not our Stephanie. It was that thought that made me press a little more. "Can you tell me now what's bugging you?"

I had expected her to deny anything was wrong so when a sob came out of her mouth I was caught off guard and suddenly wished I hadn't opened my big trap and insisted she open up to me. I had expected a story about a guy, not tears. What in the hell was I supposed to do with tears?

I looked around as though the white walls of my office might contain an answer. She leaned over and put her forehead on top of our joined hands and I couldn't bear it anymore. "Come here, little girl," I told her, pulling her into my lap and cradling her against my chest. Thank God Ranger wasn't here or he'd call me to the mats. Although whether he would be attempting to kick my ass for making her cry or holding her so closely, I wasn't sure. Of course if he were here she'd be in his lap so this whole scenario wouldn't be an issue.

I was never good with words so I just stayed quiet and held her tightly. When she began to settle down she tried apologizing for wetting my shirt. Honestly, I hadn't noticed so I blew it off and interrupted her request for forgiveness. "Can you tell me what's going on?"

She shook her head no and said, "I can't talk about it yet. It's probably nothing because I tend to overreact, but thank you for letting me fall apart here." Her hands began to dry her face. "I think I'm going to head back home and maybe come back in the morning…"

She stopped talking then and shook her head before starting again, "I guess I'll be here in the afternoon. I have a morning appointment so I'll be late tomorrow." Then she jumped up and walked to my door. With her hand on the door knob she said, "Thank you Tank. I needed that," and then she was gone.

I sat in my chair trying to figure out what just happened. What did she need and what did I do that she was thanking me for? I ran back through the few words she said and tried to piece together the possibilities. My best guess was that she had a doctor's appointment in the morning and whatever the reason, she was totally freaked out about it.

I jumped up and hit a familiar extension waiting to hear, "Brown," before speaking. "My office, just you."

I sat back down at my desk and waited for him to appear. "Shut the door," I instructed, and waited to hear it click shut before speaking.

"Something's wrong with Stephanie." I began, realizing I had nothing else to offer.

"What?" Bobby followed up, showing how prematurely I'd brought this up.

"I don't know. She came in my office asking about the effect on our health insurance premiums if she had an expensive medical test run and then when I pressed her on it she burst into tears but wouldn't tell me any details." I summed up.

"Shit," he commented, letting out a breath. "That doesn't sound like her."

"She said she has an appointment in the morning that's going to make her late for work so I'm betting it has something to do with this insurance question. Is there anyway to find out what's going on?" I asked, hoping he knew something I didn't.

"There's not a legal way to know. Insurance companies don't disclose medical information to employers. Do you know who her doctor is?" Bobby asked.

"Negative," I replied, coming up empty once more.

"Then we'll just have to wait and see if she acts any differently after her test. A lot of doctors overreact and order tests that aren't necessary. She's probably fine." He tried assuring me but the look on his face told me he didn't believe it any more than I did.

"Should we call Ranger?" he finally asked, breaking the silence.

"Not yet. There's nothing to report and she didn't give me permission to share our discussion with anyone." I didn't doubt for a minute that Bobby would keep this discussion just between us. He might only be a medic but that guy understood client doctor privilege and would die before betraying someone's confidence in a medical matter.

He stood up and froze at the door just like Stephanie had. "You'll let me know if you learn anything else though, right?"

"Affirmative," I confirmed, giving him permission to leave. That was a discussion I could handle. No tears; just facts, and silent understandings.

There was nothing I could do about it so I threw myself into the pile of paperwork that always swamped me when Ranger was away on a mission. Despite having plenty to occupy my mind I kept worrying about Stephanie and realized by the end of the day I had accomplished very little. I finally shut down my computer and headed down to the gym to work out. I may not be able to understand women, but I understood the need to beat the shit out of something and there was a punching bag down there just waiting for me.

_A/N: My mother has been diagnosed with a terminal form of cancer. I wanted to write a story that would help to capture some of the struggles she's had through the process as a tribute to her strength and determination. Stephanie's story will have a happy ending both emotionally and physically, but to all those who endure what Stephanie will and do not get the good news at the end of this story, my heart goes out to you. This story is completely fiction and the medical portions are not meant as factual medical advice, they are there to move the story along. I see this is as an emotional story of friendship and love and I hope we can enjoy the journey together. Thanks for reading along and giving me the chance to write something very different from my typical story._


	2. Something's Definately Wrong

_As usual, the characters are JE's creation, not mine. _

_Fredda (Rangergirl1234) thank you so much for your fast turnaround and careful eye as the beta on this story._

**Chapter 2 - Something's Definately Wrong**

_Stephanie's POV_

I woke up when my alarm began blaring at me and made my way to the shower, hoping the steam would help pry my eyes open. After falling apart in Tank's office yesterday I managed to keep it together until I got home, and then I fell apart once more. I tried to pull myself up and visit denial land, but I just couldn't get there.

In the back of my mind I kept wondering if there was something wrong with me, yet I couldn't muster up the courage to look on-line and investigate what the possibilities were. I guess I knew there were two options. It would either be alright and I could put this behind me, or if something was wrong, it was going to be serious and I just wasn't ready to face it yet.

I was horrified to think about crying on Tank. Yet of all the Merry Men, he had proven his ability to keep his mouth closed above all others so I knew he wouldn't say a word. Deciding I needed to be able to keep up a brave front, I took my time and made up my face so that I would look more in control than I felt. As a last minute decision I only put on one coat of mascara. I knew I'd need more before going to the office but I wanted to prevent the raccoon eyes if possible, so I needed to delay using all I would later need. I spent time curling my hair, hoping to gather some sort of control over it in the hope of drawing attention to my hair instead of my face.

I put on a button up shirt and a bra that clasped in the front, thinking it would make it easy when I got there. My loose jeans and running shoes finished off the outfit. I debated eating breakfast but decided to skip it. I didn't think I wanted to be strapped to an imaging machine when my stomach decided to roll.

I drove to the Women's Center without turning on any music. Because of the silence of my trip when I stepped in the office it seemed noisy with three other people in the waiting room and the soft music playing in the background. The lady at the front desk took the paperwork my doctor's office gave me and told me to have a seat. I walked slowly to the magazine rack and let my eyes fall over the available titles. Before I could make a decision, I heard my name being called and spun around to see a young woman in a pink jacket holding a file I was assuming was mine.

I followed her down a narrow hall and into a room with several machines that I found intimidating. She smiled kindly at me and began explaining everything that was going to happen and what mammography is intended to do. After changing into a gown on top, she had me stand in front of the machine and raised the metal plate on the bottom until my breast was able to rest naturally on it. The she slowly moved a clear plastic plate from the top until my breast was being flattened. She had me alert her when I was getting pressure, but she told me it wasn't supposed to hurt, so I waited until I was at the boarder of pain to speak and she stopped. When she stepped away I had to work to control a smile at what Grandma Mazur might say at a time like this.

It didn't take very long while the images were captured and then she reentered and we repeated the process on the other side. She repositioned me for several other images and finally announced we were finished. "Try not to worry," she assured me with a hand on my shoulder as we walked to the door. "I'll send the results to your doctor this afternoon and I'm sure they'll be in touch soon.

"Can you tell me how it looked?" I asked, wishing for some kind of news to help ease my worries.

She shrugged, "I'm only allowed to take the pictures…I can't interpret them." I couldn't hide my disappointment but I smiled and thanked her anyway. She'd been kind to me and made what could have been a very embarrassing and uncomfortable situation less traumatic.

I made it out to my car and saw it was only 9:00. I debated what to do next. I could pick up some breakfast and swing by the bond's office or I could stop by my parent's house and try to mooch some food. I let my head fall back on the rest in the car and thought about what would be best. Honestly, I didn't feel like seeing anyone. But, rent would be due soon so I knew I needed to do something to bring in a little money. I hadn't experienced any worries about income since I started working part time at RangeMan, but having lived with fears about things like paying for groceries and gas in the past, I had become a lot more disciplined in going to RangeMan even when I didn't want to in order to keep my bank balance as stable as possible.

I finally put the car in drive and started heading to Haywood. The final light before turning in the garage was red which gave me just enough time to put on some fresh mascara. With the extra few seconds I looked myself in the eye in the mirror and gave myself a mental pep talk. I had endured the test and now I didn't need to do anything but wait on the results. In order to do that I just needed to stay busy and if nothing else, Rodriguez was great for keeping me busy.

I pulled in the space I always parked in and smiled at the thought it was always empty for me. It made me wonder why that was. Did Ranger make an announcement at a staff meeting warning the guys not to park there, or did I only have good parking karma here? Maybe that's why I was always comfortable coming to the office. I was determined to act normal so I didn't stick around in my car and got out to walk to the elevator as soon as I parked.

The floor was quiet, making me think the guys were in a meeting. I decided to risk slipping into the break room to grab a muffin and a bottle of water before rushing back to my cubicle and booting up my computer. By the time I heard the guys coming out of the conference room I was half way through my first search and was able to keep my head down with my I-pod playing softly as the guys walked past me. A few of them tugged at a stray curl and someone put their hand on my back, but no one stopped and interrupted my efforts, which was a relief.

By the time I'd emptied my in-box it was 2:00 and I was starting to feel hungry. Realizing there was no reason to stay, since I had no work remaining, I packed up my things and stood up to deliver my completed searches. Most of the guys were off the floor, either off shift or out in the field, but the ones that were around spoke and I tried to keep up the act that everything was fine. I decided that if I pretended to be okay, not only would the guys believe it, but I might too.

After delivering my work from the morning I returned to my desk to begin packing up for the day and was surprised when I heard Lester's voice behind me. "Tired of us already, Beautiful?"

"You know me, I need action," I teased in return without turning around.

Then his hands cupped my hips as he stepped behind me to say, "If it's action you need, all you had to do was ask."

"Les!" I exclaimed, pretending to be offended at his comment but not turning around so he couldn't see the lack of a smile on my face.

I said nothing further and gathered my pocketbook and turned to leave. I was unprepared for the black clad mass of muscle blocking the doorway of my cubicle, so when ran into it I bounced back slightly. Fortunately, Les put an arm out to catch me from falling backward and I found myself pulled back to his chest. "We really need to stop meeting like this," he tried teasing once more.

"I'm sorry," I apologized. "I didn't expect you to still be there."

"No worries," he said with the bravado out of his voice. As he released me from his grasp he added, "Are you alright?"

"Sure," I assured him. "You caught me before any damage could happen." I knew I didn't want to get into a discussion with Les because I wasn't sharp enough to participate in our usual banter so I looked down and said, "I'll see you around, Les," and walked away as quickly as possible.

I made it all the way to the garage without running into the guys and as I stepped out of the elevator Bobby was standing there with a few big boxes that he needed to get upstairs. I stepped around the stack and gave him a soft smile, quickly walking past him so he could use the elevator and I could escape without having to talk.

I started my car and drove off, quickly letting out a big breath when I turned out of the garage and onto Haywood. I still had a few hours to kill, but I had survived the day in the office and could go hide in my apartment until it was time for bed. Hopefully, the doctor's office would call soon with the results because if I stayed this nervous for several days, I wasn't sure I could keep it together.

_Tank's POV_

"What?" I called out loudly to the banging on my door. I had been trying to enter payroll and I knew with this interruption I'd have to start all over again. If Ranger didn't find a way to automate some of this shit I was going to tell him to hire someone to take over the paperwork when he was gone because I hated it.

Lester came in and sat in the chair across from my desk, leaning back with his legs open and his hands behind his head. I began to feel bad about complaining about my increased workload when I looked at Lester. He was tired. Any large bond or high priority client had to have a member of the core team on any activity. Since I was stuck behind a desk for most of the day, Ranger was on a mission, and Bobby was limited in how many hours he could work consecutively as the medic, most of the double shifts and late night calls fell to Lester.

Feeling sorry for the guy I asked, "What can I do for you?"

"Something's wrong with Bomber," he stated as fact.

I didn't want to betray her confidence so I turned it on him and asked, "She was here all morning; what makes you think something is wrong?"

He pulled his hands down into his lap and looked at them for a minute, "Man, I'm not crazy. I know something's wrong. She wouldn't look at me, she barely spoke when I stopped to talk to her, and when I joked with her she didn't get into our normal banter like usual. Something's off."

"What do you think is wrong?" I pressed, but before he could answer Bobby appeared in the doorway and walked in to interrupt.

"This is getting out of hand," he started.

"What is?" I asked, confused about what he meant.

"Stephanie," he explained. "She got off the elevator and didn't even acknowledge me, even though I was trying to get supplies in the elevator. She walked around me without even a hello. You were right yesterday, something's not right with her."

Lester's head whipped from his partner around to glare at me, "What happened yesterday?"

I rubbed my hand over my head and felt a little stubble. I needed to have my head shaved again but I didn't have time to think about it right now. I couldn't tell Lester what happened, but he clearly knew something was up. "She wasn't herself and when I asked her about it she told me she was fine, so I couldn't get any further than that." I looked at Bobby trying to tell him that was all I wanted Lester to know at the moment. He nodded, so I looked back to Les.

He was the first to speak, "So what are we going to do?"

"We have enough to do with Ranger out of town without adding babysitting Stephanie to the list too. If she talks to somebody and tells them something is wrong then we'll help her in any way we can, but if she chooses to keep this to herself, there is nothing we can do about it." I instructed.

"That's bullshit," Lester interrupted. "We could pick up some pizzas and knock on her door. If we get her eating, I'll bet she'll talk then."

I had to admit it was a good plan, but in the back of my mind I didn't think it was right. If she wouldn't open up to me yesterday, I doubted she would open up if a group of us showed up at her doorstep demanding answers either.

"Let's give her another day or two. If she hasn't come around by then we'll try something like that, but I don't want to push her and have her shut us out." I instructed.

"Alright," Les said, clearly not agreeing with me, but seemingly too tired to argue.

After they left I tried to focus on the task in front of me to no avail. Finally, I sat it down and rested my eyes. Then, without thinking about it, I picked up the phone and called Shorty's ordering two large pizzas, one with extra cheese and one with everything. I knew by the time I got there they would be ready.

Thirty minutes later I was in the parking lot of Steph's apartment wondering what in the hell I was doing. I was the guy that didn't talk and I was about to try and get information out of a woman that usually lived to converse, but for some reason was shutting us out. It's like I needed to do this to restore order to the universe. I needed to get in there and talk until Steph relaxed enough to tell me what was wrong. I was a highly trained Ranger in the US Army. I could do this; I could be charming and witty. I had to do this. Failure was not an option. RangeMan needed Steph to be whole and as much as I might have played dumb in my office with Les, he was right. Something was wrong with our little girl.

_Stephanie's POV_

There are twenty six smudges on my ceiling that I can't identify. If I were a decent housekeeper, I'd get a ladder and try to clean them off. My mother would clean them; it was the right thing to do. But I lacked the ability to care. I glanced at the clock on the DVD player and saw it was nearly 6:00. I needed dinner. I continued to sit still and realized I didn't care much about dinner either.

When someone began pounding on my door I fell off the couch. I made my way to the door quickly so they would stop banging and cause the neighbors to complain. When I jerked the door open I was surprised to see myself standing face to chest with Tank. He smiled slightly, held up a couple of boxes I hoped contained pizza, and then said, "You do know you should look through the security hole first to see who's there, right?"

"That's true, because so many stalkers knock and wait for my permission to enter the apartment." I countered.

He continued to stand there looking past me and then back to my face as though he were waiting on me for something. Finally I caught on and said, "Come on in." I wasn't used to people waiting on me for an invitation.

He stepped past me and walked to the coffee table to sit the boxes down and the smell of sauce and melted cheese helped me to suddenly care about dinner after all.

He opened the boxes and pointed to the pizza, "I didn't know what you liked so I got two options."

I figured I should clue him in on my idea of good pizza. "If it has crust, sauce, and cheese, then I'm good. Anything else may be delicious but isn't exactly necessary."

"Good," he said picking up the role of paper towels from my kitchen cabinet and sitting them on the coffee table next to the food. "You can have the plain cheese."

I picked up a slice and bit into it as I plopped down on the sofa next to the big guy. Sure, I was curious about why Tank was in my apartment, but I didn't see the need to pass up free pizza to question him about it first. After I finished my first piece and Tank was polishing off his third, I got the courage up to ask, "Tank, as much as I love it when people show up with free food, I'm curious why you're here."

"Can't a guy just bring dinner to eat with a friend?" He offered in a non-convincing tone.

"He can, but since you've never done it before, I'm having trouble believing it now." I replied.

He looked down for a minute and then his head jerked up like he had an idea, "I had a terrible day. Normally when that happens I either spar with someone in the gym or go out drinking with the guys. But Ranger's not here for me to work out with, and the guys I would usually have a beer with are on shifts. I wanted to relax and think about something other than what I have to do and I hoped you would talk to me."

I wasn't sure that was really the reason he showed up, but I felt like what he said was true in its own right, so I let his original motivation go and asked, "What happened to give you a terrible day?"

He shook his head and then looked up and said, "Promise you won't tell?"

"I know I have a reputation for talking, but I know how to keep my mouth shut for a friend," I assured him.

"When Ranger's gone I have to do the administrative stuff he usually does. The problem is he has more of a business head so what takes him an hour to do can take me all day. And since I spend so much time reviewing paperwork, I'm not out in the field, and if I'm not outside some it's hard to focus, you know?" He confessed.

"Trust me; I know exactly what you mean. Can't you begin the day in the field to work off some energy and then do the afternoon in the office?" I suggested.

"I wish," he answered, rubbing his hand over his head in thought. "If I knew I could get it done in a matter of a few hours I would, but it usually takes me the whole day, so I can't risk not finishing the work."

We were both silent for a few minutes before I asked, "What kind of paperwork is it? I mean, is it something you could delegate?"

He made a face like he wasn't sure about delegating the work. "Ranger is pretty particular about who gets to do the administrative work. It would have to be someone he trusts completely."

"Doesn't he trust all the guys? Why can't Lester help?" I suggested.

Tank chucked, "The only person that would have a harder time sitting behind a desk working than me, would be Lester."

"What about me?" I asked without thinking. His eyes darted to mine to see if I was serious. I had spoken without thinking, but after I said it I figured it couldn't hurt. Tank had done a lot for me over the years so if I could help him by doing a little paperwork, I didn't see the harm in it. It would be nice to have something to do to keep my mind occupied.

"You couldn't take the papers onto the floor," he said, as though he were thinking it through.

"Is there an office I can sit in?" I said, feeling as though he were making this harder than it needed to be.

He smiled, "I can put a little table in my office and set up your laptop in there with me. That way if we work on it together we might get it done quicker."

I returned his grin and assured him, "I'm game if you are. I may as well put my time in the business world to good use for a friend."

I saw him relax and then he magically made three more slices of pizza disappear. We spent the next couple of hours talking about RangeMan and the kind of work Tank was struggling to do. Before I knew it, the clock showed 11:00 so I had made it through the day. Tank noticed me glance at the clock and stood up immediately.

"I'll see you in the morning?" He asked tentatively.

"I'm not promising to be there by your definition of early, but I'll see if I can't be there before my usual time." I told him as we walked to the door.

He opened the door and walked out before I called out to him, "Hey Tank!" He turned at my words. "Thanks for coming by tonight. It was good to have company and I really liked the pizza."

"I'll tell Shorty he's got a fan," Tank said with a grin. "Good night, Little Girl."

I shut the door and immediately got ready for bed. Laying in the darkness waiting for sleep to come, I sighed at the idea that I was excited to have something to do tomorrow to keep me occupied.

_Tank's POV_

After my workout in the gym I showered quickly to rearrange my office before Stephanie arrived. If I had everything set up when she got in then we might be able to get through some of the pile of work I'd ignored this week.

I had just gotten the laptop set up for her when I heard the guys in the control room talking about Bomber. I walked out to remind them to keep their opinions about Stephanie to themselves when I realized they weren't discussing her, they were talking to her. It was only 7:30 and she was in the office.

"Little Girl, you realize the sun's only been up for half an hour, right?" I teased when I saw her.

"Yea, yea, I thought I'd see what the world was like for you guys before us mere mortals got up to face the day," she teased back.

Her smile seemed genuine and I relaxed immediately. Whatever had been bothering her was clearly not an issue right now. Maybe we were worried for nothing. I'd keep an eye on her today and if she stayed like this, I'd tell the guys she was fine now and they didn't need to worry.

I stepped to the side to let her walk in front of me and together we went into my office. She sat down at the table I'd set up for her and then said, "Okay, big guy, what have you got for me?"

We spent the next four hours going over payroll records, sales contracts, and income statements from the branch offices. Clearly the time she spent studying business in college was well spent because she burned through every task with efficiency. Along the way she made up spreadsheet templates to help capture the information in the future so that I didn't have to retype everything each week. I couldn't believe that by lunch time we were nearly done with the work I had to do for the week.

I sat back when she gave me the final summary and put my hands behind my head to smile at her. "I can't believe it; you've done all the paperwork for the week."

She beamed at me and I realized she had not only done it, but I had a feeling she had enjoyed it too. "Is there anything else I can do?" She asked, eager to have another task.

I looked around my office and saw the stack of messages from clients. The brilliance of the next task being given to her hit me and I pointed to the pile of yellow slips. "There are client calls that need to be returned. Some of them are complaints about the guys, some are questions about their services, and some just need to have some regular contact to assure them they're getting something for their money. I'm not good with these calls because I don't talk enough to really sooth the ruffled feathers. Any chance you'd like to try talking to some clients?"

She rolled her bottom lip between her teeth for a minute and then held her hand out. "Can I pass them on to you if they have any technical questions?"

"I'll be right here working on the shift schedule for next week." I assured her.

She took the messages and flipped through them before picking up my phone and bringing it over to her makeshift desk. When she began talking to the first client, I knew I'd made the right decision to give these to her. I could tell the client was enjoying the conversation based on her comments.

I couldn't wait for Ranger to check in so I could tell him about how useful Steph had been. He'd told me before he left to do whatever I could to keep her at RangeMan as much as possible. I wasn't sure if it was so he knew she'd have income while he was away or if it was to keep her safe. Either way I was mentally coming up with a to-do list that would keep our little girl busy for the next few days. It looked like I was going to be able to put myself on the field schedule this week after all. The office was in good hands.

Between phone calls her cell phone rang and she picked it up from her purse and answered it without checking the caller ID. I focused on the schedule in front of me to give her a little privacy. Just as I was about to get up I glanced her direction and saw her expression change. If it were possible, it looked like she went from white skinned to ghost colored. Who ever was on the phone was scaring her.

"When?" She asked, not giving me much to work with in figuring out who the caller was.

She looked at her watch and then shut her eyes. "I can come in tomorrow," she finally stated. Her voice was strained like she was focusing very hard to keep herself together. I don't know why I did it, but I stood up and walked to the door to shut it. I didn't excuse myself to give her privacy; I shut myself in with her. I knew she was upset and since she'd spent the morning helping me I was determined to see if I couldn't help her in return.


	3. Defining Friendship

_Once again JE provided the characters, I provided the mess they're in._

_Fredda (Rangergirl1234) you've done it again. Thank you for your gentle corrections, suggestions and beta skills. _

**Chapter 3 – Defining Friendship**

_Stephanie's POV_

I answered my cell phone on the second ring, not wanting it to disturb Tank's work. On the other end was a perky voice asking for Miss Plum. When I told her that was me she said, "Dr. Peters asked me to call and have you come back in to see him. He has the results from your mammogram and wants to share them with you."

I didn't say anything at first so she asked, "Are you still there?"

"When," I finally stumbled out, hoping she would go with something casual like 'anytime in the next few weeks would be fine.' If it wasn't immediate then the news would be okay. But if he wanted to see me soon, then I was going to assume he had bad news.

"He asked for you to come in first thing in the morning. We can fit you in at 8:30." She continued, bursting my hopes for this to be put off.

"I can come in tomorrow," I told her, struggling to keep my voice calm and even. Hopefully, I could convince Tank of that and then leave for the day. I was only half way through the stack of calls but I didn't think I could keep going. I needed to go somewhere by myself to sort out what I might hear tomorrow. The lady on the phone confirmed that they would see me in the morning and wished me a good day. I hung up without saying another word.

I sat there with my head down staring at the phone in my lap while taking slow deep breaths. I just needed to get this lump out of my throat and then I could make some excuse to Tank before running like hell to the garage.

Before I could get a grip Tank appeared at my side, kneeling beside me with one hand on the arm of chair and the other on the table in front of me. "I think you've worked long enough," he announced. "To thank you, we're going to lunch."

"I don't think I would be much company," I replied, hoping he wouldn't press it.

"Well then we'll go somewhere noisy and eat together so that neither of us has to talk," he pushed, giving me the impression this wasn't an invitation, it was more of a command performance.

I swallowed hard and then looked at him and saw he was serious about lunch. "I need to run to the restroom first."

"No worries," he said. "I can guarantee you a seat where we're going so there's no rush to beat the crowd."

I wasn't sure what that was supposed to mean so I let it go and walked to the restroom, knocking first to be sure I wasn't about to get a free show. I quickly took care of business and then washed my hands at the sink, concentrating on the feel of the cool water on my hands. I heard the door open behind me and Lester walked in.

My face assumed a smile that I couldn't back up with real emotion so I hoped he'd believe I was happy and not push. "Hey Beautiful," he said winking at me. "We really need to stop meeting like this. I'm going to think you're stalking me."

The idea of stalking Lester struck me as funny so I laughed slightly and shook my head as I walked out to give him the room.

Tank was leaning against the wall waiting when I stepped out of the bathroom. "Ready?" he asked.

I gave him a nod and followed as he led us to the garage and his black Explorer. Once the engine roared to life he drove out of the garage without saying a word, leaving me to guess where we were headed. A few moments later we pulled into Shorty's parking lot and he stopped at the back, near the dumpster.

I tried to raise an eyebrow at him wondering why he didn't park in one of the spaces at the front. "I promised you a noisy place for lunch so you didn't have to talk if you didn't want to."

I got out and followed him to the back door, trying to mask my surprise when he produced a key from his ring to open the door. Four steps into the kitchen a huge man came around the corner and stood there grinning at us. I was used to large guys, built and muscular, but this was on a whole different level. This man wasn't exactly sculpted and built like the Merry Men, but he was enormous just the same. His stomach hung over his tied on apron and he stood at least three inches taller than Tank. The two men clearly knew each other.

"Well, look what the cat drug in," he began.

"Hey Unc, let me introduce you to Stephanie Plum." Tank said, lifting a hand in my direction. "Little Girl, this is Shorty."

Obviously that nickname was given in sarcasm, I thought. I extended my hand and allowed the man before me to engulf it in one of his own. "It's nice to meet the girl that all the boys are always going on about."

I rolled my eyes, not able to imagine what they must have said about me.

"She loved your pizza last night, and we need a noisy place to just sit and eat without having to be around people," Tank began.

"Pull up a stool and let me know what you want," Shorty replied. "You had pizza yesterday; I've got some fresh ribs coming out of the oven. Do you want a rack?"

Tank looked at me and raised an eyebrow leaving the decision up to me. "We don't want to put you through any trouble."

"Little Girl, my Uncle loves to feed people. If he offered it, then it's no trouble for you to accept it." He assured me so I agreed and followed them to sit on a bar stool pulled up against a long cabinet near the sink in the kitchen.

As I sat there, Tank jumped up and grabbed a couple of tumblers, filling them with ice and then coke. I was going to ask when the guys got to drink carbonated drinks, but Tank saw the expression on my face and answered, "What Ranger don't know won't hurt me."

I'd never suspected this side of Tank existed, but I had to admit that I liked it. It only took a few minutes before Shorty brought two plates piled high with ribs, steaming and dripping with sauce. I hadn't thought I was hungry, but they did smell good.

I picked one up and tore it apart to have a single rib in my fingers before lifting it to my lips. I took one bite and moaned when the meat literally fell off into my mouth. When I opened my eyes Shorty and Tank were both staring at me sporting similar grins, reminding me they were related.

"What?" I asked around the spicy bite in my mouth.

"If I'd known you liked food like that I would have made you eat at the tables. It'd be good for business." Shorty explained.

I decided they meant no harm so I focused on the plate in front of me and happily ate the greasy food, stopping only to lick the drips running down my hands. After the first rack disappeared I decided I was full and ignored the second one to just pick at the fries Shorty had dropped off while I was greedily attacking my meal.

I turned to lean against the counter and took a long draw on the Coke Tank gave me, watching the busy activity in the kitchen. "Do you come here often?" I finally asked.

"A couple times a week," Tank replied. "Sometimes I think it's easier to think if you're surrounded by chaos but not responsible for it. Something in the noise helps me clear my own head and work through stuff."

That was a long confession for one of the guys so I decided not to pick on him for it. He didn't say anything else so we sat in companionable silence for a few more minutes and then I spun my legs around to see Tank's face better. "I can't come in first thing tomorrow. I have a doctor's appointment. But if you still have some things for me do I can come in after I'm done."

He looked at me for a few seconds and then responded, "After seeing you tear through the work this morning, I can definitely still use your help tomorrow. Does this appointment have anything to do with the test your doctor wanted to run?"

"How did you know about that?" I asked, furious that my private business had been broadcast around RangeMan.

"Relax," he said, seeing my mood begin to skyrocket. "You asked me about the effect on the insurance premiums so I assumed your doctor wanted to do something. Nobody said anything to me, and I definitely didn't spill your business to the guys."

His words took away all my temper and I decided to share only a little of what was going on. "Oh, then yea, the doctor's office called while we were working and said the doctor has the results of the test he ran a couple days ago and he needed me to come in first thing in the morning to talk about it."

He took a slow drink of his Coke and then sat it down on the counter before asking, "Can I come with you?"

I considered it only briefly. It would be nice to have someone with me in case the doctor had bad news. But at the same time, I didn't really think Tank was the right person to have beside me while the doctor talked about my breasts. Honestly, there was only one person I wanted with me and I had no idea where he was.

"I think I have to do this alone," I told him, putting my hand on his forearm and leaving it there. "But I'd really appreciate being able to work in your office after I'm done. I don't really want to be out where the guys are, but I don't want to be alone either. Does that make sense?"

Tank chuckled and used his free hand to gesture around the kitchen. "You're talking about a man who comes to a busy kitchen full of people when he wants to think through something by himself."

When he put it like that I figured he did understand. I stared at my hand on his dark arm and he asked what I was thinking now. "Do you know when Ranger will be back?" I asked without thinking it through.

Tank's hand went on top of mine sandwiching my fingers with his warm skin. "I don't know the specifics, but I know he's stateside this time, so if you need him, I can get the message to him when he checks in."

I shook my head no. I didn't want Ranger to have to sacrifice his mission just to come sit with me because I was afraid. Sometimes we just have to face things on our own.

"No we don't," Tank interrupted my thoughts.

"What?" I asked confused.

"When you're afraid, you never have to face it alone. You're right, Ranger would come back to be with you if you needed him. But if you didn't want to call him home, any one of us would gladly stay by your side for anything you had to face. You need to realize that no matter how it may feel, you are not alone."

I continued to look at the stark difference in the color of our skin and how natural it looked touching it's opposite. Something had shifted between Tank and I since I broke down in his office a few days ago. I no longer thought of him as the guy Ranger stuck with babysitting me when he went in the wind. Now I thought he was my friend.

Something told me I was going to need a few friends in the coming days.

_Tank's POV_

My Uncle came over and asked Steph how she liked her lunch.

"It was delicious," she replied before adding. "It was exactly what I needed."

"You come back anytime," he told her sincerely. "For you, I'd cook anything you want." Then he looked at me and said, "Get her a key from the drawer and put it on her ring. That way, she can let herself in and I'll take care of her."

I could tell Steph was surprised, and so was I for that matter. My Uncle was really protective of his kitchen. He'd been known to pick up people and physically thrown them out for coming in without permission. I did like he asked, holding out my hand for Steph's keys until she relented and handed them over. I could tell she didn't believe him, but I knew he meant it. Something about this little white girl had gotten to my tough Uncle too.

"Ready?" I asked standing up.

She nodded and stood up to follow me. Just as we were about to walk away my Uncle caught her arm and pulled her to him enveloping her in his massive arms. There were few people in the world that made me feel small and seeing Steph in his arms reminded me just how big my family was.

When he stepped back he picked up his apron and wiped her cheeks like there were tears on them. I couldn't hear him but I knew he said something to her and she nodded in response before turning to follow me out. I wasn't going to ask what that was about; my Uncle had a way of knowing what people needed so I assumed he had said something to help her.

When we were buckled in the truck I asked where she wanted to go. It was mid-afternoon and my paperwork was caught up so I had some free time and wanted to doing anything other than sit behind a desk. At this point even four hours of surveillance would be heaven.

"If you can drop me off at Haywood, I think I'll just drive home," she told me sadly, looking out the window.

I began driving the familiar road between Shorty's and the office and pulled up beside her piece of shit civic. She'd had it a long time by her standards. It figures, the one car we all hoped would bite the dust is the one that seemed to be lasting the longest.

"Are you sure I can't at least take you to your appointment in the morning? I don't have to go with you, but it might help to know someone is waiting for you when you're done." I offered before she got out of the truck.

She seemed to be considering it but shook her head no. I wasn't surprised when she said, "I'll be okay, but thanks for offering."

I saw her cell phone clipped to her purse and reached out to take it. It didn't take long to program my cell phone number in it before returning it her. I figured I should explain, "I had to be sure you had my number. That way you have someone to call tomorrow when you're finished if you need something. I can come pick you up if you need me to. Otherwise, I plan on spending the next few hours organizing some more work for you to do tomorrow afternoon to finish clearing off my desk before the bossman gets back."

She smiled at the idea of me passing off my work to her. Thank goodness I had the excuse of doing it to help keep her occupied. I'd hate to think I was taking advantage of her.

We stepped out into the garage and I walked her to her car. I suddenly thought about Bobby and asked, "Steph, would you like to have Bobby go with you? His medical background might be helpful and there isn't much he hasn't seen with the guys."

She almost chuckled at that comment, but why I wasn't sure. "I doubt Bobby has any experience with what the doctor will be talking about. Thanks for the offer, but no, I think I'll do best on my own. The appointment is at 8:30 so I'll come by after I'm done to see what you've come up with for me.

I knew she wanted to leave so I let her go and made my way back upstairs, trying to figure out if I was doing what Ranger would want me to do. I never understood the relationship between those two. Clearly there was something there but once she and the cop broke it off this time he seemed to find reasons to avoid her. It's like she was some kind of temptation he couldn't afford to give in to so he had to use space as a buffer. That would be understandable, but he still asked about her at every check in, and demanded we keep her safe while he was gone. We all knew he spent a lot of time checking up on her when he was in town so it made it hard to believe there was no relationship there. I wondered, if he knew she was scared about going to her doctor's office tomorrow, what he would do? Hell, I'd seen what he did with her, and there was no way he'd want me to take her to the alley behind the bond's office. I'd need to come up with something different this time.

The next morning I woke up at my usual 0500 and started the day at the gym. I hadn't slept well and even my work out wasn't smooth and easy like normal. Something was off but I couldn't put my finger on what it was.

Half an hour later Les came over to the treadmill beside mine and started jogging. I nodded at him and kept running. He was the first to break the silence. "I saw Steph in your office yesterday. She seemed to be smiling and happy."

"She was helping me catch up on some paperwork. It turns out she's damn good at it," I commented, hoping he would let it go.

"But before you two left together I ran into her in the bathroom and she smiled at me but something was wrong with it. It never reached her eyes, you know?" He asked.

Of course I knew exactly what he meant. The eyes on that girl would give away any secret without her saying a word. When she was happy they lit up and any man across the room could see it. When she tried to fake being happy we could always tell because it wouldn't reach her eyes. I realized he was waiting on an answer so I told him, "She was fine all morning but she got a phone call that upset her so I took her to Shorty's for lunch and then she went home."

That probably made it sound like Steph had picked up another stalker, or her mother had called. I knew I was misleading one of the guys, but I had a feeling Steph wouldn't want him to know the truth. Hell, she'd done a pretty good job of keeping me from knowing the real truth too. Maybe that's why I was on edge. I knew she was hiding something from me and it had to do with her health, and something that Bobby would have no experience with.

That made it a girly thing, right? She might be pregnant, but Steph had seen him deliver a baby last year when a skip's wife was in labor when they arrived at his house. Steph insisted Bobby help the wife so the man could see his baby enter the world before she would call the cops to pick up the skip. That probably took anything to do with babies off the list of possibilities.

Of course that really only left problems with two body parts. Anything that would require an expensive test to diagnose that the doctor would want her to come in to discuss sounded like really bad news. I shut off the treadmill and left my workout early to shower and shave. I put on my usual uniform and fully dressed because I wasn't going to work behind a desk this morning.

Once I was ready I went to my office and pulled up the software we used to monitor our trackers. Finding Steph was easy. The one on her car was in her parking lot, and the one in her purse was in her apartment. I looked at my watch and saw it was only 7:45. She had some time until her appointment so I left the screen up on my monitor and starting pulling together some projects for her to work on when she came in.

The next time I checked she was on the move. Once she stopped I got the address and searched for it on-line to see she was at a doctor's office with multiple physicians. I had no way of knowing which one she was seeing so I decided to drive over and park next to her car. It would be easy to find and I wouldn't be disregarding her wish to see the doctor alone. She'd come out at some point and I'd make sure she understood that she wasn't alone. My gut was telling me she was going to need somebody.

_Stephanie's POV_

I couldn't sleep so I got up at 6:30 and started getting ready. Taking my time I put on my makeup even adding a hint of blue eye shadow to make my eyes stand out and three layers of mascara to hide behind. I'd probably need a little more once I got to the doctor's office, but that was at least a start for courage to get from here to my car.

I stood in front of my closet at a complete loss as to what I should wear. I decided I didn't want to go in my usual tomboy t-shirt and jeans so I put on some camel colored dress pants with wide legs and paired them with a thin black sweater that had a high neck. I slipped into some four inch black heels that gave me enough height to keep the pants off the ground and thought I almost looked elegant while I checked out the outfit in the mirror. Of course when I tripped trying to walk across a level floor in the kitchen I figured elegant might be a bit of a stretch.

I looked in my fridge and decided to skip breakfast. I started a pot of coffee and stood there watching the black gold drip into the pot until it was done. I sipped at my cup fortified with four spoonfuls of sugar and a few shots of cream. I considered putting a shot of something with a little more punch but figured I might need all my wits about me to listen to what the doctor needed to say.

I drove over to the doctor's office and made it with a couple minutes to spare. I could have parked at the front near the door, but for some reason I decided to go for the back of the lot where there were no other vehicles yet. Maybe I wanted my walk in to take as long as possible to avoid having to hear bad news.

I checked in with the receptionist and sat staring at an out of date Sports Illustrated until the nurse called me back. Dutifully I followed her, despite my heart screaming for me to turn around and run away. Instead of taking me to an exam room as I expected, she took me to a regular office with a desk and chairs, indicating I should sit in one of the leather chairs in front of the large wooden desk.

I sat there looking at the painted landscapes on the wall and listening to the ticking of the very loud clock on the wall. When the door opened I nearly screamed from surprise. "I'm sorry to frighten you Miss Plum," Dr. Peters began saying as he walked in and sat behind the desk so that there was at least four feet of wood between us. I felt small, like I'd been called into the principal's office at school.

He reached to the side and picked up a manila file folder, opening it in front of him and reading silently for a moment. Finally he looked up and said, "Miss Plum, we have the results back from your mammogram and they did show a small growth at the edge of your left breast. Based upon the recommendation of the examining radiologist I believe we need to have a biopsy performed to determine exactly what that growth is in order to determine what our next steps should be."

"I thought that was the purpose of the mammogram…to let you know if I had some harmless knot in there or if it was something more serious." I questioned.

"Not exactly. The type of growth is consistent with the presentation of a cancerous growth, but it can also be indicative of a benign tumor. We have ruled out some possibilities such as scar tissue or a fatty deposit. But to move forward we will need to schedule a biopsy to understand what exactly is growing there."

"So, I have cancer?" I tried to summarize.

"I don't think we have enough information to make that call yet. Let's get the biopsy done and then that result will be the final test for us to have a diagnosis. I'll have the receptionist schedule the test and then we'll call you once the results are back and we can discuss what needs to happen next." He clarified.

"But in your experience," I tried once more, "Is what you see on the mammogram usually cancer?"

"I really can't say," he replied firmly almost seeming out of patience with my pressing him for information.

I sat there mutely for a moment causing him to ask, "Do you have any further questions, Miss Plum?"

"What's the point, you won't answer them anyway," I replied rudely. Suddenly I didn't care what my Burg manners would suggest I do. I felt alone and lost and this man, who was supposedly a helping professional, didn't seem to be interesting in helping me find my way.

He handed me a slip of paper and I walked to the lady at the check-out desk to have her schedule my next appointment. She began typing away and then picked up the phone and had a short friendly conversation with the person on the other line. Finally she got down to business and said she needed an appointment for a core needle biopsy as soon as possible. There was silence for a few minutes and then she held up a card with a date three days away and the time 8:00 AM written on it. What was with the medical community? Could these tests not be done after lunch?

I nodded, thinking I should happy to only have to wait three days this time. She typed some more and got off the phone before handing me the card and some papers she had printed out. "Here's some instructions on what to expect for your procedure. The surgeon that will do it is in this same building but he's on the third floor. I'll call your insurance company and give them the referral information so you don't have to worry about a thing."

I nodded that I'd heard her although I wasn't truly listening after she said the word surgeon. Suddenly this seemed like a much bigger deal. Realizing she was done talking to me and I was still standing there I quickly turned around and walked out of the doctor's office. I didn't know what was worse, being told that you might have a deadly disease or being told you needed to have more tests to see if you might be dying. It was a game of hurry up and wait, and I didn't know how much longer I could stand the waiting part. I thought speed in detection was what saved people's lives. By the time the results from the biopsy were back it would be pushing three weeks. Somehow that didn't seem like diagnostic speed.

When the cool air from outside hit my face I was struggling to keep putting one foot in front of the other. My eyes were filling up with tears and my nose was beginning to run. I wiped at my face and concentrated on walking in order to get to my car. Once I got there I didn't think I'd be able to drive but at least I could collapse there until I could pull myself together.

I got my keys out and struggled to find the one to my car. I knew it had been there when I drove to the office but I couldn't see much through my tears and my growing frustration was making it harder to isolate the key with my fingers shaking.

Before I knew what was happening I was swept off my feet and cradled tightly against a black chest. I shut my eyes thinking it didn't matter who it was. If he was from RangeMan I was safe. Of course the thought that someone from RangeMan knew I was at the doctor made me tense up because I wasn't ready to give any answers about what was happening.

The voice belonging to the arms spoke, "Relax Little Girl, no one knows I'm here, but I had a feeling you were going to need somebody here for you this morning so I used the signal from your tracker and waited until you came out to see if I was right."

Tank had come through as my friend once more and this time I was so grateful. I needed to know I wasn't alone and he seemed to be willing to be the shoulder I needed, even if it was hard to ask for it.

He managed to open the door to his SUV and slid me in the passenger seat before jogging around to the driver's side. "Where to?" He asked, not pushing for details about what had me so upset.

I couldn't think. I wasn't sure what I wanted to do, but I needed to think about something else for a while. Apparently, I'd have plenty of time for my mind to work through the possibilities of what could be growing inside me so right now I wanted to think about anything but that.

"Do you have any work I can get lost in for a while?" I finally offered.

He started driving and replied, "I have plenty of work you can do, but you have to tell me if that's what you need to do."

Right now I wasn't sure how to answer the last part. "I think I need something to keep me occupied for while until I figure out what it is that I need."

"Alright, Little Girl," his deep baritone voice responded. "I'll be glad to keep you occupied."

There are a lot of ways to define friendship. I'm sure Mr. Webster has an official explanation that includes sharing interests or a common background. Right now, that didn't seem to fit at all. I shared virtually nothing with the black man to my left but at this single moment he was the dearest friend I had. He was my connection to the person that I most needed and in Ranger's absence, Tank was trying to provide what he could. Right now, he was driving me to the office which would provide me a few hours of denial.

Yep, I had a much better example of friendship than what mere words could describe.


	4. Checking In

_JE created the character's below. She deserves all the credit._

_Fredda (Rangergirl1234) you also deserve the credit if this chapter has any clarity to it. Thank you for your hard work as the beta on this story._

**Chapter 4 - Checking In**

_Tank's POV_

When I turned off the truck in the garage I turned to see the woman sitting next to me. She had pulled out a little mirror from her pocketbook and was madly pressing on her face with a fluffy thing that looked like it came off the back end of a rabbit. A few swipes of tar on her eyelashes and she announced she was ready to go. If I hadn't just seen her break down I wouldn't guess what weight she was carrying on her shoulders right now.

"Are you sure…" I started to ask, wondering if this was a huge mistake.

She put her hand up and stopped me from finishing the question. "I'm sure there is nothing I can do for the next three days. If I'm going to get through it I need to stay distracted and work is the best way for me to do that. I'm not sure me trying to catch any skips is the best idea today so I'd love a chance to pretend everything is alright until I know for sure that it's not." She explained, once more giving me just enough detail to confirm something was wrong, but not enough to really now what was going on.

I nodded, believing that she needed to stay busy and thinking it was probably a good idea to have her close. I was way out of my league to think I knew what she needed, but I was smart enough to know at some point this strong face she was hiding behind was going to fall and someone needed to be there when that happened. As we walked to the elevator together I silently prayed Ranger would be back before she fell apart. He didn't talk any more than I did, but they seemed to understand each other, and I figured he would know how she was just by looking at her.

We settled in with me giving her contracts that had been completed that we needed to create invoices for and giving her free reign to design the billings. I could hear her fingers madly typing so I knew she was getting it done.

I was reviewing the nightly reports of the calls that were responded to and making notes for the guys in order to complete the files. There were a few areas that were routinely weak in our reports which made me think as much as we all hated it, some training was going to be necessary. It had been a long time since I had this much time to devote to reviewing the reports, so I had a feeling I'd contributed to the sloppy details by not reading them slowly enough to catch this kind of stuff. Having Steph help with the office stuff was giving me the time I needed to focus on the important details that I was good at.

My desk phone rang and I answered it with a simple, "RangeMan."

"Tank," came the familiar voice of my friend.

"Ranger, man how are you?" I said, more relieved to hear his voice that I usually was when he was on a mission.

"I'm trying to shuffle through the debrief to get clearance for tomorrow." He replied, giving me several details at once.

"Call me with the details and we'll arrange your pick up," I replied, letting him know I'd gotten the message that he would be home in two days.

"RangeMan?" He asked, letting me know he wanted a brief on how the business was flowing.

"Good, new contracts are complete and Vinnie's happy," I replied, letting him know new business was coming in and the standard clients were all maintained.

"Don't start piling the paperwork on my desk just because I'll be back soon," he threatened as a long standing joke between us.

"No worries there, it's all caught up," I said with a smile, knowing that would catch him off guard.

"How'd you manage that? Is one of the guys on desk duty?" He fired back, insinuating the only way I'd have it all done was if someone was injured and could help me.

"Not exactly," I told him, knowing my lack of details wouldn't be acceptable.

"Report," he barked out, clearly not happy with my disclosure.

"Steph has been helping me organize the office and she has one hell of a business head on her shoulders. She got through a couple of days worth of reports in a matter of hours. I don't know why you didn't bring her into the business side of things sooner," I said knowing he wouldn't appreciate me talking about her like that.

"You got Steph to sit behind a desk happily?" He asked, sounding doubtful.

"Technically, she's sitting at a table in my office but yes, she volunteered to do it," I explained.

"Is she there now?" He surprised me by asking.

"Affirmative," I said knowing he'd want to talk to her but not volunteering it so he'd have to ask for it.

"Pass the phone to her," he demanded. I guess he didn't have to ask for it after all.

"Hey Steph," I said with the phone away from my face. "There's a guy on the phone demanding to talk to you. He's kind of gruff but since he's our boss I think you should take it," I teased hoping at least one of them would find some humor in my description of Ranger.

She jumped up and nearly fell over trying to get to the phone. It was the first hint of life I'd seen in her eyes in days. "Give me that," she demanded with her hand stretched out for the telephone.

"Ranger?" her voice nearly cracked saying his name, but her face had a smile that was definitely genuine. I looked back down at a report from Lester from yesterday afternoon and held a pen in my hand but it was just for show. I was trying to listen in on her conversation and hoped my acting skills wouldn't give away my intent to eavesdrop.

She gave a few one word answers and kept her bottom lip between her teeth in-between her responses. Eventually she asked, "When are you coming home?" A few minutes of silence passed before she said, "Fine," and then followed it up with a defensive, "I'm sure." I knew Ranger wasn't buying it.

She wasn't hitting him with questions or talking his ear off the way one would expect. But the fact that her knuckles were turning white told me the grip on the phone was just an outward sign of the fact that she needed him here. He might think distance from him was the best thing for her but I'd kick his ass if he tried to push her away when he got back. She needed somebody, and I was willing to try and be that person but it was obvious that the person she most needed was Ranger.

Eventually she said, "You too," and then handed the phone back to me before slowly walking to the window in my office and looking out with her back to me.

"Boss," I said into the receiver to let him know she was gone.

"What the hell is wrong with Stephanie?" He demanded. I knew he would see through her attempt at a strong face from her.

I didn't want her to know we were talking about her but I wanted to warn him. "Don't know, but I agree."

"Stalkers, or bad take down?" He wondered.

"None," I confirmed.

"Cop?" He followed up.

"Not an issue. Just the way it should be," I explained hoping he understood I meant they were friendly, which is all they should ever try to be for each other. Honestly, we were all thrilled when they called it quits the last time. We couldn't put our finger on it but we all knew this time was for good and she seemed so happy afterward that we began to relax our approach with Morelli. He was a good cop, so it was helpful to have him on our side but when they were together it was hard to watch the way he tried to change her.

I wanted to clue him in this was medical but with Steph so close I couldn't risk betraying her confidence. Finally he hit the nail on the head, "Does she need to see a doctor?" He asked.

"Already done, but there's a lot more there to be investigated," I cryptically responded.

"Shit, what's wrong with her?" He wondered.

"No idea," I told him honestly.

I knew he didn't like that response but it was all I had to give him. "Stay as close to her as you can. I'll call you when I've got my discharge and my flight home arranged. I'll see if there's something I can do from here to speed things along. Does she need anything?"

"Just you," I told him, curious how he would respond to that.

Silence ticked by and he finally let out a breath long enough I could hear it on the phone. "I'm on it."

Well what do you know? Maybe I wouldn't have to kick his ass after all.

_Stephanie's POV_

"Ranger?" I said fighting against my instincts to cry while saying his name.

"Hey Babe, I understand you've been keeping Tank from passing off a pile of work onto me." He said allowing me to hear a smile in his voice. It was amazing how I could pick up on the subtle differences even without seeing his face. This was the voice I heard so often in my dreams and I was convinced I knew every nuance it contained.

I agreed in the hope that he would say something else. "I'm just about done here and it was nice to get a good report from Tank for once instead of listening to him complain about administration." He followed up. Again I just agreed.

There was a brief pause so I blurted out, "When are you coming home?"

"It should take me a couple of days to finish up here and then I'll make arrangements to fly back." He replied before saying, "How are you?"

"Fine," I quickly replied giving him my standard answer to that question lately.

"Are you sure?" He pressed, making me think he could see through my weak defenses.

"I'm sure," I tried to reiterate but his closing comments made me think he wasn't buying it. Maybe he knew all the subtle differences in my voice too.

"I'll be home soon and we'll catch up then," he said letting me know my time on the phone with him was coming to a close. Instinctively I gripped the receiver tighter wanting to prolong the connection, but not able to say anything to keep him engaged. Finally he said, "Be careful, Babe."

"You too," I weakly replied and then handed the phone to Tank. I stood up and made my way over to the window to look out and pull myself together. I could hear Tank making short comments to Ranger but I had no idea what they were discussing, so I gave up trying to eavesdrop. Honestly the guys said so little on the phone it was doubtful I could figure out what they were talking about even if I had both sides of the conversation.

I looked down and saw cars moving around and people out walking on the sidewalk. I lifted my hand and rested my fingertips on the cool glass. Their lives were all moving along normally and mine felt like it was standing still. I seemed to be waiting on one thing or another all the time now. I was either waiting for a test or a result, and on top of that, I was waiting on Ranger.

I don't know why it mattered. He had made it very clear that we didn't have a romantic relationship but our friendship seemed to endure. At least it usually did. Anytime I'd really needed him he had just appeared in the past and I guess I wanted him close by in case something like that happened soon. With the medical possibility I was facing I knew I couldn't handle a relationship anyway, but it would be nice to have a best friend.

When Tank hung up, the office was silent and the quiet quickly became deafening. I needed to get out of the office. I was about to announce I was leaving but when I turned around I realized I didn't have a car. Damn it! I was trapped until somebody could give me a ride back to the doctor's office to get my car. I didn't want to have the guys know what was going on so that left Tank.

"Tank, is there anyway you can give me a lift to pick up my car?" I asked, hoping he would understand why I was cutting my work short.

"I can do that, or I can have one of the guys bring it here," he offered.

"No!" I all but shouted at him, causing his eyebrows to rise showing his surprise at my response. I softened it by adding, "I don't want the guys to know. At least not yet."

He nodded and then looked at me for a minute for glancing at his watch. "Did you have breakfast this morning?"

I shook my head no, realizing I was a little hungry now. I didn't have a watch on so I was clueless about what time it was.

"Why don't we swing by Shorty's for an early lunch and if you still want to get your car we can pick it up after." He offered.

I knew I needed to eat and since I couldn't think about much but the lack of information the doctor gave me this morning, I nodded that would be fine. He picked up a file from the corner of his desk and brought it with us but offered no explanation of why.

When we pulled into Shorty's Tank once again parked at the rear entrance and let us in with the key on his ring. I remembered him putting one with my keys yesterday and wondered if he really expected me to ever use it.

We had barely gotten the door closed behind us when Shorty came around the corner with a cross look on his face. When he saw us he stared hard for a few minutes at Tank and then looked to me and asked, "What do you feel like eating?"

I was at a loss as to how I should answer that so I shrugged and said, "Anything's fine, I don't really have a taste for anything."

"Go sit down and I'll get you something." As he began to walk away he called over his shoulder, "Did you have breakfast?"

"No," I replied, wondering what the fascination was in this family with breakfast.

Tank got us both a mug of coffee and brought a handful of small sugar packets for me keeping his black. I dumped four in and by the time the sweet crystals were melted Tank had poured in a little cream to lighten up the brew. I smiled my thanks and took a tentative sip. It wasn't gourmet coffee by any stretch but it was hot and after a few swallows I began to relax from the effect of holding the warm beverage in my hand.

Before I felt the need to say something Shorty reappeared with three plates. Two of them went in front of Tank and one was placed before me. Tank had a tangled mess of bacon with a biscuit, a mountain of eggs, two sausage links and a stack of pancakes. I had two slices of toast and some scrambled eggs. If I'd been myself I would have complained about so little food as compared to Tank, but when I looked at it I thought it seemed about right for what I could handle so I said "Thank you," instead.

"Finish that, and I'll make you anything else you want," he assured me before yelling at the kid washing dishes to quit rushing and get it right the first time.

I looked at Tank and he shrugged as though he were used to his Uncle handing out food and insults. I picked up my fork and took a bite. There was nothing extraordinary about the eggs, but they were warm and I managed to work my way through most of them along with a single piece of toast by the time Tank had polished off all but a single piece of bacon.

I glanced at the bacon and wondered if he'd let me get away with stealing food from his plate. Deciding to push my luck, I reached over when he picked up his coffee cup for a sip and grabbed the last greasy piece of meat and took a bite quickly before he could protest. I saw a smile on his face despite him holding the mug in front of his lips in a weak attempt to hide it.

"You know, I've shot a man for less," he commented in a dry voice after sitting his mug down.

"Good thing I'm not a man," I countered with a smile. I only ate half of the bacon before I'd had enough so I sat it down on my plate. Tank noticed and raised an eyebrow at me. I stuck my tongue out at him in a sign of my extreme maturity and he reached over, picked up the bacon, and put the rest of it in is mouth in one big bite.

"I might not have been done with that, you know," I teased.

"You are now," Tank said with a grin. Amazing, the power of a little breakfast meat. I no longer felt the need to hide at home.

"You still want to get your car?" He asked, giving me the chance to bow out of the rest of the day.

I thought about it for a minute and then shook my head no. "Good," he admitted, standing up. "I'm on for a surveillance shift and you can ride along as my partner."

I followed him to the door and saw Shorty stirring some mystery sauce in a huge pot on the stove. I held up my finger to Tank asking him to wait a minute and walked over to Shorty. I put my arms around him from the back so that my cheek was pressed between his shoulder blades. He put one of his hands on mine and patted them for a second. "Anytime," his deep voice told me, "anytime."

I turned away and walked back to Tank thinking I might have just been told more than 'you're welcome' but I couldn't really tell what more had been said.

_Tank's POV_

I saw Steph pause at the door and waited when she put up a finger as a signal. But when I realized she was about to get the jump on my Uncle I was torn between curiosity in how he would react and fear that his typical response of yelling at someone for scaring him would be too much for Stephanie. Still, she asked me to wait so I stayed at the door and noticed she hugged him from behind as though they were related and this was their typical form of communication. He didn't even jump despite the fact I couldn't remember anyone hugging my Uncle since my Aunt died a few years ago. He wasn't exactly the fluffy, emotional, hugging kind of guy.

He said something to her and her face relaxed but she didn't respond. After a brief period she let go and walked over to me looking as though she were trying to figure out one of the great mysteries of the universe. I decided to let it go and not interrupt. Some things we just have to figure out on our own.

I handed her the folder on the skip Anthony Marcus, and drove over to Stark Street. She flipped through it stopping to look at the picture longer than anything else.

When I parked in front of the home address for Marcus I saw her look around and then recline the seat. I wanted to try getting her back in the place we were at Shorty's when she tried to steal the last piece of bacon from my plate. I gladly would have given it to her. The idea that she was trying to play and give me a glimpse of the Steph we were all used to seeing was definitely worth surrendering part of my meal. "Don't get too comfortable, I asked you to come along as my partner, not to go to sleep."

She smiled and brought the back of her chair up slightly but still had a comfortable looking angle. "I guess you would be nervous about me sleeping on a shift with you," she commented, confusing me. Noticing my expression she explained, "The first time you and I worked together I was on the floor in that apartment building and the guy you evicted came back with a shot gun and fired at you."

I'd forgotten about that redecorating job. She was so nervous and clearly hadn't been told at all what we were there to do. I'd laughed every time I thought about her expression when I threw the junkie out the window. I knew there was a fire escape there but I couldn't resist yanking her chain when she panicked that the fall might have killed him.

Even then I knew my boss had a thing for this little girl. I didn't understand it, but I respected him enough to keep my mouth shut and wait. It didn't take long before I began to see why. She was different from any person I'd ever met. The first time he brought her to the office and taught her how to run searches I wondered if he'd lost his mind trying to incorporate her into our world. But I'll be damned if she didn't find a way to get under the skin of the guys and before long people were volunteering to shadow her when there was a call for it. Accepting us came as natural to her as eating doughnuts.

She interrupted my thoughts by asking, "What's that smile for?"

"I was just thinking about how strange it was when Ranger got out of his car with you for that redecorating job. I thought he'd lost his mind," I confessed honestly.

"What, you thought it then, and now that you know me better you are convinced of it?" She replied, pretending to be offended, but the smile on her face blew her act.

"That's right," I teased back. "I'm convinced the man lost his mind by not recognizing how good you are with the business stuff and throwing it all to you instead of me when he's out of town."

"Don't get any ideas mister. I don't like being stuck behind a desk any more than you do, but I don't mind helping a little here and there," she countered back.

We bantered back and forth remembering some of her less than graceful escapades and our different perspectives of what happened, and by the time I saw Binkie and Brett pull up behind us, I realized we'd passed four hours in the truck together.

"How about we get that car now," I offered, pulling away and heading for the doctor's office once more.

About three blocks from the parking lot she spoke up, "I have to have another test in three days. The doctor said the last one showed something that could be bad, but might not be, so I have to have a test by a surgeon on Friday. Once he gets the results of that he'll know exactly what's going on and what I have to do then."

She had done it again in providing me just enough information to know it was serious but not enough to really know what was wrong. Instead of hitting her up with questions since I didn't think she really wanted to talk about it, I said "What time will I be picking you up on Friday?"

She hadn't responded by the time I parked the truck so I turned to face her and repeated the question. She shook her head and answered, "You don't have to take me. I don't think he'll be putting me to sleep. It's just a needle and a local so I can drive myself."

"You need to understand that just because you can do something doesn't mean you have to. You could drive yourself, but you don't have to because I'm telling you I'll do it. I can bring you here and wait in the parking lot if you want to do it alone. But I think when it's over you'll appreciate having someone here waiting for you." I told her, trying to deflate her argument. "So what time do I need to pick you up?"

"It's at 8:00, on the third floor, so I need to leave by 7:40 at the latest." She finally admitted.

I put a hand on hers and tried to reassure her, "I won't tell anybody and I'm not saying you need me, but I thought it would be better to know I was here than discover you need someone and have to wait for me to arrive."

She looked at our hands and asked, "Do you promise? I mean, not to tell anybody."

I could tell from the way she said anybody that she meant Ranger. "I'll keep your secret, but for the record he's going to know something's up and he's going to want to know what it is."

"I'll tell him as soon as I know, but until I get a definitive word one way or the other I don't want to worry anybody else. This all may be one big false alarm, and if it is I don't want to upset him while he's trying to get settled in at work again." She started drawing in her bottom lip again and I could see the lightness she'd had for a few hours this afternoon was gone.

"Alright, Little Girl, but he's pretty good at picking up on things so hiding this from him isn't going to be easy," I warned her.

"It's just a few days, Tank, and then I'll tell him myself what's been going on." She looked out the window and I could see her struggling to stay on top of her emotions.

I figured a change of subject was in order so I said, "Tomorrow, I have another surveillance shift from noon to four. Do you want to ride shotgun again?"

When she faced me once more her tears were under control. "I'll come in to catch up on my searches in the morning. I'm pretty sure since someone has been monopolizing my time in the office that Rodriguez has been piling up the work for me. Come by my cubicle and let me know when you're ready to leave."

I figured that was the best I could hope for to fulfill Ranger's request that I keep her close until he got back. I watched as she got out of the truck and opened her car door. Waiting until she started the car and drove away I sat there for a minute mulling over what she had said. The words needle and a local, surgeon, and results that could be bad kept replaying in my head. In my mind that all added up to cancer but I figured it was probably best to take a page from Steph's playbook and not worry about it now. This might be one big false alarm and there was no point in worrying about it until we knew for sure.

Driving away I realized what an impossible task that was. I wasn't sure what concerned me more, the effect bad news might have on Stephanie or the effect it would have on the rest of us. She brought life into our dark lives and since she'd established herself as a part of RangeMan we all seemed to revolve around the energy she provided.

I pulled into the garage determined to keep her secret but needing to get the worry out somehow. Deciding I should turn to the therapist that had never let me down I went up to four and changed before heading down to the gym. That punching bag had never failed me and I didn't have to worry about the secrets of my fists getting out.


	5. Testing

_To the great JE, thanks for the characters below you have so beautifully created._

_Fredda (Rangergirl1234) thank you for the time spent pouring over my quickly typed and error ridden words as the beta on this story._

**Chapter 5 – Testing**

_Stephanie's POV_

The next two days passed in a blur. I would wake up earlier than my usual time and lay in bed, worrying over all the possible things that could be going wrong in my body. I had visions of what had been a small knot turning into a huge mass, completely taking over my breast. It's like my body was revolting against me and doing things without my consent or control. I'd always been healthy, just the occasional cold, but nothing that required any diagnostics. Sure I had injuries, but I wasn't sick. What if something serious was going on inside of me? I had no experience dealing with this and trying to sort out what I would do was driving me crazy.

Knowing this line of thought wasn't helping I would get up and ready for the day, allowing me to arrive at RangeMan before 8:00. Still, I never beat Tank to the office and he seemed to have a never ending pile of work for me to do. I enjoyed the client calls most of all, but I tried to do a good job on the paperwork too. We'd work until lunch and then he would come up with an excuse to get us to Shorty's for a bite. Each time we'd let ourselves in the back door and eat at the counter. Shorty would volunteer to make me anything I wanted, but he usually just ended up bringing me something of his own design because I wasn't that interested in picking food. I couldn't help but hug him as a weak thank you for his unconditional hospitality. He usually made some small comment that gave me the impression he understood what I was going through, even though I couldn't understand how that was possible.

After lunch Tank and I would sit through a surveillance shift, partially in silence and partially talking. Yesterday when I got sleepy in the truck he pulled out a set of handcuffs and showed me how to pick the lock. I was going to complain about it but it turns out Tank is a very patient teacher. After working on it for fifteen minutes, I was able to get the locking pin to pop open and I was free. After repeating the exercise several times, not only could I do it quickly, but the shift was over and it was time to go home.

The guys I tried to avoid. I know it was unfair to them but I just couldn't paint on my happy face around them and they could see right through my attempt to convince them I was okay. It was just easier right now to avoid them and not have to lie to my friends. Of course, if it turned out something was wrong with me, I had no idea how I'd tell them that either. I had seen many of them shift from understanding friend to hardened soldier when a skip got the better of me. I couldn't figure out how they would handle an enemy they couldn't hurt in retaliation for the pain it inflicted on me.

And now I was standing in front of my closet clean, with make up in place, and hair moderately styled. Well, I tried to style it but realized my arms were tired from holding them over my head, so I just gave up and pulled it back into a low pony tail tying it back with a rubber band and a thin piece of black ribbon tied over the top of the band. It wasn't a leather hair tie, but it reminded me of Ranger. Thinking about Ranger helped to solve the dilemma of what to wear as well. I had tried to avoid admitting it but I was scared about today's test. I'd never liked needles and having one big enough to take out tissue samples inserted into the side of my breast from multiple angles wasn't something I was looking forward to. But, the real fear was what those samples might contain more than the pain of having them harvested. So, I reached to the middle of my closet and pulled out a pair of black cargos and a RangeMan polo in matching black, of course. I finished it off with my boots, unable to make anything else work with the cargos and decided if I couldn't be brave, I needed to at least look in control by channeling my inner Ranger.

I stood in the kitchen staring at my fridge for a few minutes, unable to bring myself to eating anything. Maybe after it was over I could convince Tank to take me to Shorty's for some breakfast. Once I had this behind me I might be able to stomach a little something.

I glanced at my watch and swore. I'd stood in the kitchen debating breakfast for long enough that I didn't have time to brew any coffee. I was going to have to go into this without any crutches to help me through it. That thought had me rushing back to the bathroom to add another layer of mascara. RangeMan may have Kevlar to keep them safe, but I have Cover Girl to hide behind.

_Tank's POV_

I got to Steph's parking lot fifteen minutes early. I didn't expect her to be ready yet but I couldn't keep sitting around in the office waiting. The guys were all looking at me funny in the gym and I hoped I was able to get out before they decided to corner me about what was going on with Stephanie. I'd listened in on the monitor in the break room last night and heard Vince ask Junior if he knew what was up between Steph and me. I had to laugh. If they only knew the real reason I'd been keeping her close to me this week they'd never think of insulting her by insinuating our relationship was anything other than friendship.

I loved that Little Girl, but in a way like you love a kitten. There was an innocence there that I was bound to protect, but it was paired with a fierce heart of an animal that inspired me when she squared her jaw and set in for a fight.

She was fun to talk and play with and I had to say I was surprised at how much I had enjoyed the last few days while spending so much time in her company. I didn't usually talk much, but I found I couldn't deny her a thing. So when she spoke to me I had to respond and before I knew it I'd been talking for a couple of hours. I had always admired her, and I'd spent more time than the other guys watching over her because of orders from Ranger, but this time it was different. This time I'd let her in and I knew I was in her parking lot out of concern for a friend, not because my boss was going to ask what I'd done to support her.

The door to her apartment building opened slowly and she walked out dressed in a RangeMan uniform. I had to work to keep from smiling. She was scared. The outfit gave it away more than the look on her face and the amount of black stuff clinging to her eyelashes. Whenever she was worried about something, she tended to dress like us. We got a kick out of her calling it 'channeling her inner Ranger'. I'd seen guys do stranger things in battle to keep their courage up in order to face their fears, so I would never make fun of her for it.

She climbed in the truck and as we pulled out of the parking lot I asked, "Did you eat anything this morning?"

She shook her head no and I reached over to the cup holder in the door and pulled out a cup of coffee I'd picked up for her from the drive through at Dunkin'Donuts. Her eyes got big and she smiled as though I had just given her the greatest gift imaginable.

We rode to the medical facility in relative silence with her occasionally sipping from her cup. When we parked, right in front of the door, Steph looked at me and rolled her eyes. I knew she was thinking about this imaginary parking karma she believed was standard issue on all RangeMan vehicles. It was early, so I wasn't surprised most of the spaces were empty.

I raised an eyebrow at her. I was wondering if she wanted me to go in with her or if I should wait out in the truck.

She sat her drink in the cup holder and I noticed her hand was shaking slightly. "I think I need to do this myself, but I've got my phone on me and will call you if I change my mind." I watched her lean her head back and shut her eyes. I knew her mind was probably flying a mile a minute so I didn't interrupt. After a few seconds she opened her eyes and had clearly found the strength to move forward because she sat up straighter and opened the door to walk in without hesitation.

I watched her move, trying to memorize how her body moved and how her clothes were hanging on her body. It wasn't that I was a pervert, although a man would have to be dead not to notice Stephanie's body. Instead, it was my hope that when she came out I might be able to pick up on a difference somewhere and get another clue about what the doctor was testing this morning.

In the meantime I leaned my seat back and prepared to wait. I'd been around doctors enough to know things like this couldn't be rushed and she might be in there for a while.

_Stephanie's POV_

This experience so far has already made me question a few things about myself, like how it could be fair for me to have a problem with my breast when they were already small. I mean, there wasn't as much room in my chest as there was in Lula's and she was fine. I questioned why I swore that I hated office work, because based on the last few days I had enjoyed what I'd done at RangeMan. I was good at it; I didn't have to wear panty hose, and I felt like I was making a difference without the risk of my car exploding.

But the biggest thing I was beginning to question is whether or not I'm becoming obsessive compulsive. I noticed I was counting things all the time. Mainly it kept my mind occupied, but the fact that I was doing it without intending to had me a little concerned. For example, right now I could tell you that this exam room had eighteen door handles. Six were on drawers and twelve were on cabinets. They were all silver yet the handle on the door itself was gold. Clearly the designer of the office space wasn't paying attention to let that little detail slip by.

Now that I'd catalogued that detail I was moving on to counting the number of ceiling tiles (there were thirty by the way, six long by five wide) and the number of little marks on each tile. It might sound strange, but it was allowing me to completely ignore the two people in the room right now; a very kind looking middle aged woman who was holding an ultrasound probe on my breast and a young doctor who appeared to barely be out of high school who was currently numbing what felt like the entire side of my body based on the number of burning injections he'd used. I kept counting and they kept working. The silence might have bothered me a couple of weeks ago, but now I found comfort in it. If no one was talking, then no one could be giving me bad news.

I was vaguely aware of the tugging sensation when he actually performed the biopsy. He put a little marker in me so that in the future, if the biopsy showed a benign growth they wouldn't need to retest the same tissue. I could see him pulling the curved needle indicating stitches, but he did it so quickly I didn't think there were many there.

When they finished the doctor pulled the gown closed and told me I could sit up. I had changed positions several times and ended up on my back with my arms above my head. When I brought them back down they were numb like they'd gone to sleep and my shoulders ached. I held the gown together in my fist and as the doctor turned to prepare the samples I asked, "Can you tell me how long it will be until my doctor has the results?"

He almost jumped as though my voice had frightened him. I guess I had been a little quiet so far; perhaps he wasn't expecting me to speak at all. "I'll send them off this morning. The lab doesn't specify how long, but typically they are back in a week or less. I'm sure your doctor will call you as soon as he has them."

"Do you have an opinion one way or the other about how it looks?" I asked, desperate for any news.

He pressed his lips together and let out a long breath. "There's no way to tell from what I've seen. But I can tell you that if it turns out to be malignant, it is well positioned for surgical extraction, and aggressive treatment. But until you get the lab results there's nothing to be done so try not to think about it." His eyes were brown and they seemed to be pleading with me to listen to his advice. When I really looked at him he no longer seemed as young as he did when I first saw him walk in the room.

"Thank you," I said hoping he understood I appreciated what he had said even though I knew there wasn't a snowball's chance in hell that I wouldn't think about it.

He reached for something on the cabinet and twisted an ice pack to activate it and advised me to slip this in my bra and keep it there for at least half an hour. "It will keep the swelling and bruising to a minimum," he explained before saying there was a single suture that could come out in a week. He told me I could make an appointment to come in for him to do it, or I could just let my primary care doctor do it. My first thought was to forget about that, I'd let Bobby do it and save myself another trip to the doctor's office. Then I caught myself and realized that would mean letting Bobby know what I'd been through, and I wasn't sure that would work.

I nodded that I understood. Just before he stepped out the surgeon turned back and said, "Good luck Miss Plum. I hope we don't have to see each other again."

I smiled at his genuine attempt to address the fact that seeing him again would mean I had cancer and nodded my appreciation of his thoughtful way to say goodbye.

I redressed quickly, realizing I was still a little numb at the surface, but I could feel some tenderness when I lifted my arms to pull my shirt over my head. I had skipped the ice pack, thinking I didn't want to have a huge bulge on my chest. But when I felt the tenderness I figured it would only get worse so I lifted my shirt and worked with my bra to get the ice on my skin. I didn't see a mirror so I had no way of knowing how bad it looked.

It was mainly under my arm and on the side of my breast, so as long as I kept my arm bent near it I thought I could keep it hidden pretty well. Most of the guys were good about looking at my face and not my chest for fear of being called to the mats, so I figured I was okay.

There was a ladies room so I slipped in to get rid of the coffee I drank on the drive over and saw myself in the mirror. It was then that I realized I hadn't handled this as well as I thought. From the outside corner of both eyes was a light black line that ran to my hair along the side of my face. Apparently while I'd been in denial land, focused on counting things in the office, I'd been silently crying. My mascara had massively run so I began trying to scrub it off and didn't bother reapplying any.

I looked at myself in the mirror hoping I was only talking in my head to try and get a grip. I couldn't just start crying at the drop of a hat. If I had to wait a week for the results I was going to have to see some people. My mom was leaving messages every day about coming for dinner, and I hadn't been by the bonds office in over a week. I couldn't hide forever so I needed to learn to control my public face and save the tears for night time.

I wondered how the guys did it when they slammed down their blank faces. Was it possible to have one that was a plastered smile to keep people from worrying about you or did it have to be a cold emotionless face? I practiced smiling in the mirror and realized I couldn't do fake emotions. I either felt it or I didn't. I shut my eyes and tried to think of something happy. Ranger was supposed to be back this afternoon. Even if I didn't see him, just knowing he was in town would make me feel better. When I opened my eyes and smiled it finally looked natural. Now, I had a plan. When I needed to hide I would think of Ranger and try to smile. I may not look like my normal lighthearted self, but I thought people would buy that it was a genuine expression.

_Tank's POV_

I had watched the door open thirty-one times since Stephanie went in but none of them were our little girl. Finally, when it opened for the thirty second opportunity she came out. She looked tired around her eyes which was strange. Usually her makeup hid that kind of thing unless you were up close. I had to guess she'd taken it off because when she came out this morning it looked like she had on plenty of that stuff to hide behind.

When she got closer I saw her left arm was bent and against her stomach at an awkward angle. It was like she was trying to hide her side. When I looked harder I could see a bulge there near her chest going higher under her arm. Fortunately, I had my sunglasses on so she couldn't see my stares. I gripped the steering wheel tighter as my mind put it together. She was being tested to see if she had breast cancer. No wonder she said Bobby hadn't dealt with this. I concentrated on letting the tension out of my body, using training I hadn't needed in a long time so that when she got in the truck she wouldn't sense my concern.

She shut the door and I lifted my shades to look at her. Before I could ask she volunteered, "I'm okay. It's a little tender, but it will be okay. Any chance we can get some breakfast before we head into work?"

I pulled out in the direction of Shorty's. Maybe I should have asked what she wanted but something told me this was the best place for her. She had gotten comfortable there and right now I thought she could use a little familiar comfort. I was proud of her for trying to keep pressing forward, but at some point this front was going to crash around her and I hoped like hell Ranger was the one with her instead of me when that happened.

We walked in and made it over to the stools which were now permanently positioned by the counter top instead of in the corner out of the way. My Uncle came over and nodded to me before looking at Steph for much longer than usual. He then totally blew me away when he lifted her chin since she'd lowered it when he approached us.

He moved his head from side to side looking at her eyes only. Finally he asked, "Are you nauseous?" She shook her head no. "Can you do pancakes?" The smile on her face was answer enough. It took him a while to get the food together so I got us some coffee and brought it over with a handful of sugar packets for Steph. I watched as she tried opening the packet, but her small hand was shaking slightly and she spilled half of it on the counter. Without saying a word I picked up four of them between my thumb and index finger and shook the sugar down before ripping the tops off and pouring it in for her. I picked up her spoon and handed it to her to stir herself. I figured it would be hard enough to accept my help with the sweetener so I'd back off and let her mix it up on her own.

My uncle brought over the plates and I couldn't help but notice he'd put blueberries in the pancakes. It was strange because Shorty's wasn't a fancy kind of place. If you ate breakfast here, it was plain, greasy, and fast. I wondered if he'd bought these just because of Stephanie. She looked at him with the question on her face and he pointed to the plate. "They're good for you; now eat them all so they don't go to waste."

She immediately picked up her fork and cut off a bite with the side of it instead of reaching for her knife as well. Apparently she understood his comment wasn't a suggestion, it was a command.

I dug into my own plate and couldn't help but think that working so closely with Stephanie did have the perk of good food to go with it. Of course, I was going to have to work out twice a day to burn it off but with the sweet taste in my mouth right now it would be worth it.

She plugged away at her food stopping only occasionally to sip her coffee. Finally she sat it down and said, "Do you think I could have some milk? These would taste so much better with some really cold milk."

I stood up to get her some, accustomed to making myself at home in the kitchen but my Uncle came over and asked what she needed glancing at her half eaten pancakes with a smile.

"Milk?" she replied as a question.

He returned with a glass half full for her and sat it to the right of her plate before walking away and yelling at the busboy emptying dishes from his cart to the sink for the dishwasher. Nobody would ever accuse my family of being soft.

I watched her from the side of my eye, not wanting to stare but wondering if going into work was the right call for her today. Ranger would be back this afternoon unless there was a delay in his flight. I'd already arranged for Cal to pick him up so that I could stay close by in case Steph needed something. Now I just had to hope if she did have a need I would know how to meet it.

Ranger couldn't get home quick enough this time.

_Stephanie's POV_

I finished my pancakes after Shorty brought me some milk and realized they were the perfect thing to eat. They were comfort food at its absolute best and he'd topped them with butter so that it was dripping off the top of the stack, just adding to the fatty goodness of each bite.

I could tell Tank was watching me, trying to keep me from noticing. It used to annoy me when the guys did that, but I knew Tank would never want to upset me and right now it was kind of sweet to know someone was there to watch over me. When it looked like he'd managed to get all the food off his plate that was possible without picking it up and licking it, I turned to him and said, "Is there something for me to work on today?" Suddenly I didn't want to be alone and I hoped he would have a way to keep me busy.

"Little Girl, you should know by know that there will always be work for you," he replied with a hint of a smile. "But are you sure you want to spend today in the office?"

I said yes, figuring I'd take the ice pack out of my bra when we got to the truck and then no one would know what I'd done this morning. He nodded letting me know we could go back to the office and get started. As we walked to the door Shorty called out, "Hey, aren't you going to say goodbye?"

Tank waved and called out a weak, "Goodbye," but I walked over and hugged him. He leaned down a little to better position his mouth near my ear and wrapped his big arms around me tightly.

"Thank you," I told him once more as I always did when leaving the safety of his kitchen. "Anytime," he replied in his typical way before adding, "The waiting is the hardest part."

I pulled back from him, unsure of what he knew. My eyes narrowed a little trying to read any clue that would tell me what he'd been told. Instead of giving anything away he told me, "The last time I saw someone with the expression you're wearing was my wife a few years ago."

I figured Tank hadn't told him anything, and apparently I didn't need to so I nodded and thanked him once more before leaving.

When I climbed in the truck I reached under my shirt, trying to keep as much dignity as possible, and pulled on the ice pack until it came out. I slipped it in my pocket book and leaned back into the bucket seat that I'd spent so much time in over the last few days.

As we made the short drive to Haywood Tank finally asked what I knew he had been holding back, "Ranger will be back today, what are you going to tell him?"

I looked out the window unsure of how to answer his question. "I'm going to have to play it by ear. I don't want to tell anybody, but the doctor said the results could take a week so I don't know if I can pull off that long without telling him something."

"I know you didn't ask for my opinion, but I'm going to give it to you anyway," he began and I could tell he was a little uncertain about being so direct with me. "I think you need to tell him everything from the beginning as soon as possible. The longer you wait, the harder it will be to talk about it. I know you don't like to talk about what you and the boss have, but looking at it from the outside, he's always been there you needed him in the past, and I'm positive that isn't going to change. I'll do anything for you I can. But I think there may come a time that you'll need more than I can give you, and that's when you're going to need Ranger to know what's going on."

"That was a long speech," I said unable to hold back from picking on the big softie to my left.

He made a mock laughing sound before adding, "You know I'm right."

"I'll tell him," I finally replied as we pulled into the garage. "But I can't promise it will be right away. I need to get my head around it a little more."

Tank turned off the truck and turned to look at me. "You sure you want to work?"

"I have to," I confessed honestly. "If I go home I won't do anything but worry and I've got too long to wait to start worrying now."

That was all it took for him to get out for us to head upstairs. We settled into our places and worked side by side for two hours before a marked increase in noise on the floor began and Tank stood up and walked to his door to stand there in a parade rest position.

I could hear people welcoming him back and my eyes began to fill with tears. He was home. Ranger was finally home.

Finally the noise moved to near where Tank was shielding the doorway and he relaxed his stance to say, "Welcome home Rangeman."

"Thanks, man," came Ranger's strong voice. The sound of it was music to me. I knew I didn't have a right to feel this way, but just knowing he was close by filled me with such relief that on top of how raw I'd felt this morning I couldn't stop the sob that came out of my mouth without my permission. Quickly, I grabbed my purse and began digging for a tissue to pull myself together before he came in.

I was so distracted I hadn't been paying attention to their discussion at the door until I heard Ranger say my name, "Stephanie?"

Tank spoke as I madly wiped my face. "Ask her yourself. She's finishing up some sale's proposals for the guys."

Then he stepped back to stop blocking the doorway and I looked up just in time to see the most wonderful sight. Ranger was standing there in his typical black outfit, much like the tighter, sexier version of what I was wearing right now. His hair was shorter than when he left but he was still drop dead gorgeous and I wasn't able to stop looking at him.

He offered me a half smile as he took a few steps into the office and pulled a guest chair from Tank's desk to my makeshift table desk and sat down, facing me with our legs an inch from touching.

He reached out and brushed a stray curl that had worked its way loose from the tie in my ponytail and said only, "Babe." I should have been prepared for it. I should have known the tears that had been pushing to break free for the last couple of weeks would finally overpower my will power when I was close enough to him to feel safe. As soon as his fingers touched my hair and his voice said my name, the dam burst and I cried great uncontrollable sobs.

I was aware that I was being moved and I found myself in Ranger's lap where he was cradling me against his strong chest and speaking to me soothingly in Spanish. I don't know how long we stayed that way. It seemed my hysteria would come in waves and as I would begin to pull myself together it would return and take away my ability to speak. I finally began to feel exhausted and my breathing was beginning to even out from the quick sniffs and gasps it had been. It could not have been an hour from when he first walked in the door until I fell asleep in his arms, finally able to rest without the fear that had been going to bed with me each night.


	6. Feeling the Pressure

_JE did the hard work of creating these wonderful characters, I get the fun of playing with them._

_Fredda (Rangergirl1234) thank you so much for your hard work and fast turnaround as the beta on this story. Your gentle suggestions are shaping this story is a wonderful way._

**Chapter 6 – Feeling the Pressure**

_Tank's POV_

When Ranger arrived on the floor I could hear the men greeting him and welcoming him home. I went to the doorway to add my own hello to the mix and to block his view of the curly haired girl in my office. I wasn't sure if he was ready to talk about her yet and didn't want him to come across as rude and short if he hadn't acclimated back to civilian life from his mission.

When he stopped in front of me I welcomed him home and was glad to see a genuine smile on his face. He'd had enough time to debrief and relax and ready himself to be home. It was a relief on so many levels to know he was ready to assume control of RangeMan.

When he finally asked, "Stephanie?" I decided a picture would be worth a thousand words, especially since I didn't tend to use that much vocabulary in a single day so I stepped aside and told him to ask her himself.

I wondered if I'd made a mistake when I saw the puffiness of her eyes. She'd been crying and despite her attempt to clean her face it was obvious to me so I knew the fact wasn't lost on Ranger either.

When he went over, grabbing a chair on the way to sit beside her, I decided they didn't need me anymore so I walked out silently and shut the door, standing outside it in case either of them needed anything.

I'd been standing outside the office for about twenty minutes when Lester walked by and stopped, shooting a puzzled look at me guarding a door in the RangeMan building. I didn't respond, not feeling the need to explain what was going on to Santos. The fact that I had no clue what was going on wasn't important in this scenario.

He stood there dumbly for a few seconds before asking, "Boss man in there with Steph?"

I nodded but spoke no words.

His eyebrows knit closer together as he contemplated his next question. "Does this mean she'll be okay now? I mean, I know she's been doing better but I still feel like she's just putting on an act to keep us from asking her what's wrong. Plus, she's spending a lot of time with you so we figured something was definitely up."

I relaxed my stance and rubbed my hand over my head, trying to figure out if I needed to answer his question or not. Finally I told him, "I think now that the boss is home she'll be better but I can't tell you that she'll be okay."

"Why not?" He pushed. "If she's better then she'll be okay, right?"

I so didn't want to begin squabbling over semantics with Santos. "She's dealing with some stuff and having Ranger here will make it easier, but it won't take away the fact that she still has to go through it."

"What are you talking about man?" He finally asked, probably hoping I'd quit talking in code and just spill what was happening.

"If you want anymore than that, you need to talk to Stephanie yourself," I told him and stood up a little straighter to let him know I was done talking.

Just as he was about to walk off I heard Ranger call me from my office. When I walked in he was sitting in the guest chair he'd brought over to her table and was holding her in his arms as her body was limply hanging in his embrace. Santos followed me in but I was sidetracked by the sight of her sleeping in the boss' lap and didn't kick him out.

Ranger looked down at her and then spoke softly, "Are you going to tell me what's going on with Stephanie?"

I looked at her and smiled. She was finally relaxed and even though it was obvious she had been crying before she fell asleep, it was still good to see her feeling safe enough to give into the exhaustion I knew had to have been growing.

Realizing he was expecting an answer I replied, "I promised her I wouldn't say a word to anyone, and to be honest she's done a good job of trying to keep me from knowing about it."

Clearly he didn't like my response. "You said she'd been to see a doctor. What did he say?"

"I don't know what he said. I know she's been going through some tests, but I can't tell you what they're testing her for," I said hoping I wasn't giving too much away.

"_Damn it man," Lester butted in, "I asked you if something was wrong with Bomber and you played dumb telling us to leave her alone."_

"_Now's not the time Santos," I warned him not wanting to justify my protection of her secret._

"_If we'd known she was sick we could have helped her," He tried once more._

"Does anybody else know?" Ranger interrupted preventing me from telling Santos I was honoring her wishes, not pushing them away from her. I wasn't sure if he meant anybody at RangeMan or if he was asking a bigger question like her family or Morelli.

"Negative," I replied, figuring it didn't matter how he meant it, the answer was the same. "I know more than anybody and that ain't much."

He stood up with her in his arms and began to walk out of the office.

"Where are you going?" I asked, unsure of how she would feel about him parading her through the office for the guys to see her sleeping.

"I'm taking her upstairs so she can sleep there. Whatever is going on has taken a toll on her and she needs some time to recharge. I'll do some work in the apartment office since I wasn't planning on returning to work today anyway." He explained before adding, "And maybe if we're alone she'll let me know what has her so worried."

I knew it was the right thing to do so I stepped out in front of him blocking the guys from having a direct view of her sleeping and led them to the elevator where I pressed the button for the seventh floor. He nodded at me and I knew he was set from here, so I stepped out before the doors closed and saw the guys rubbernecking to catch a glimpse of what was going on. Deciding this was one of those times when working in an office with military men was a good thing I barked out, "You're not getting paid to play guessing games, get back to work!" I suppressed a smile as everyone snapped their heads back to the tasks in front of them and began working in earnest in response to my command.

_Stephanie's POV_

I woke up and stretched. The bed was warm and soft and smelled wonderful. The realization that those adjectives could only mean that I was sleeping in Ranger's bed made me sit up quickly and look around trying to piece together how I got here. I had to think hard to remember that Ranger had come home and when he stepped into Tank's office and said a single word I fell apart and cried on him. I'd made a complete fool of myself and since I'd basically cried myself to sleep I had no ability to tell him everything was fine. He'd know something was wrong and he wouldn't give up until I relented and told him.

Could I do that? Would telling him about the test and the possibility that something was wrong with me be such a bad thing? It would make it real which would make it harder to ignore. I know Tank thought I should just tell him because putting it off would make it harder, but that was hard to believe. I couldn't imagine it would be easy to say the words 'I may have cancer' at anytime. What difference would a few days make?

I remembered he had just gotten back from a mission, which meant he was probably busy and had a lot of stuff to catch up on. Since he wasn't in the bedroom with me that meant he might be downstairs. If I could sneak out of his apartment undetected I could sneak out of the building. Then what? I didn't have a car here since Tank had picked me up this morning. I could call my dad to pick me up, or I could take one of the trucks in the garage. The guys had always told me it would be fine to take one if I needed it so why not take them up on it?

I had a plan so I went to the bathroom to freshen up. One look at my face in the mirror told me this might be more difficult than I thought. I splashed some water on my face and found a brush to try doing something to my hair. There were as many curls in the ponytail as out of it so I started over and got it under some sort of control. Realizing this was as good as I was going to get without some serious make-up, I decided to find my shoes and begin my escape.

I looked around in the bedroom and couldn't find them so I assumed they were at the door where Ranger often left his work boots. I tried walking as quietly as possible and opened the door slowly to avoid making any noise. A quick scan of the den didn't show me any signs of Ranger so I ventured out of the bedroom and snuck toward the door where I saw my boots.

Just as I was about to grab them I heard his silky voice. "Going somewhere?"

I jumped from the shock of his question and spun around to see him coming from the corner of the kitchen where he had been no doubt watching my feeble attempt at retreat.

"I figured I had kept you tied up long enough sleeping so I would just go back downstairs and do a little work and then check out for the day." I explained, seeing on his face that he wasn't buying my innocent explanation.

"You don't have a car in the garage. How are you going to get home after work?" He asked, giving me an opportunity to come clean.

"Tank picked me up this morning so I figured he could take me back," I replied realizing as soon as I said the words that I had said too much.

"Since when is Tank a taxicab service? Do you have a stalker?" He asked, giving me another opportunity to confess.

"No, I'm not in any danger," I quickly assured him and then added, "Tank took me to an appointment this morning and then brought me to the office since we've been working together the last few days. I thought it would be alright, but I didn't mean to abuse his time by turning him into my driver," I told him hearing the hurt in my voice at his previous question. It was strange to recognize it since I didn't feel offense when he first made the comment. Perhaps this would give me the ability to turn the tables on him and then get out.

Unfortunately, Ranger wasn't Italian and he didn't share the trait to jump to conclusions and then get defensive and angry at the drop of a hat. I hadn't anticipated his response of walking the short distance to where I was standing in order to cup my face in his warm hand and say, "I'm sorry, Babe. I didn't mean it like that. I'm just surprised you let him help you when you needed it, but it makes me happy that you did. If I can't be here to help you then I'm glad you have someone that you trust."

Apparently the limited contact of his hand on my face short circuited my brain so that I was powerless to resist telling him the truth. "I didn't call him for help, he just saw that I needed it and kept pushing until I gave in and let him do something. He's actually a really sweet guy."

The final comment got a chuckle from Ranger and the lovely sound of it caught my attention. "I don't think anyone's ever called Tank sweet." Then he dropped his hand from my cheek causing my face to instantly feel cool from the loss of his warmth. He took my right hand in his and pulled me to the couch indicating I should sit. Then he went to the phone and hit three numbers before saying, "Stephanie will be joining me for dinner." Then there was a pause before he concluded, "Anything is fine. Thanks."

I assumed he just volunteered to feed me and even though I usually would have gotten angry about someone making decisions on my behalf without even asking what I would like, somehow this time it felt nice to be cared for.

When he hung up the phone he came over and sat beside me putting his arm around my shoulder and pulling me closer so that our bodies were touching. Normally this was one of my favorite places to be but right now I wasn't sure it was a good idea. I found it hard to think straight when I was too close to Ranger.

"Now, are you going to tell me what's going on?" He began.

"I'm sorry I cried on you," I began, not addressing his question at all. "I was so happy to see you that it kind of overwhelmed me and I really didn't mean for your greeting from me to be a wet shirt."

He tightened his hold around me slightly, "You know I don't care about the shirt. Now why are you upset?"

My mind was spinning. Should I tell him or refuse to answer his questions? He wouldn't let it go but admitting it out loud would make it so much harder to escape from.

"Tell me this," he tried a different approach. "Why did you ask Tank not to tell me anything?"

I turned my head to look at Ranger. I shouldn't have been surprised. Tank had promised to keep his mouth shut but hearing that question must have meant Ranger tried to get information out of him. It's one thing to not bring up the subject, but it's another thing entirely to refuse to answer Ranger's questions. My heart suddenly warmed at the thought of Tank standing up for me and what I wanted.

"I don't want to talk about it," I admitted honestly, praying he'd accept that.

A few seconds of silence passed before he said, "Sometimes we need to talk about things even if we don't want to. Besides, the longer you let this go without telling me what's going on is going to give me more time to come up with alternatives. I'm sure whatever I imagine will be worse than reality, so you'll be saving me a lot of worry by just clueing me in on it now."

When he put it like that it was almost like I'd be doing him a favor, and it was hard to resist the chance to do something for Ranger. "What if reality is worse than anything you can imagine?" I blurted out without thinking about it.

He paused before answering, "Then we'll deal with it."

I was busy raging a war in my head over whether or not I should just tell Ranger and if so, how much I should tell him. I mean, clearly he didn't need to know how this whole thing started with me and Joe fooling around but there was a part of me that thought it would be nice to have someone else to help me carry this secret.

Before I could come up with a game plan Ranger spoke once more, "Babe, you're beginning to scare me."

Those were unexpected words. "I didn't think you were afraid of anything."

"Everybody's afraid of something," He responded quickly. "I may not worry about getting hurt or fear for my safety, but the thought of something hurting you scares the hell out of me."

I took a deep breath and let his caring words comfort me. Without filtering it I just opened my mouth and let the last few weeks spill out.

"A few weeks ago I noticed that a place on the side of my breast was tender and then I felt something in it that seemed strange. So I made an appointment with my doctor and went to see him."

His hand began to doodle mindless patterns on my upper arm and shoulder which encouraged me to keep talking.

"The doctor agreed that something was there so he sent me for a mammogram a few days later. Then the results from that came back earlier this week and he said there was something there and in order to tell what it was I needed to have a biopsy done."

Ranger's arm tightened a little when I mentioned the biopsy.

"So this morning I went to the surgeon's office and he did it. Tank brought me back here to work and then you saw me when you got home. I'm back in a holding pattern, waiting for results again. The surgeon said it could take a week and my doctor would call when he had the lab report. Until I hear back from him next week I can't do anything but wait."

Ranger spoke when I paused to ask, "Did anyone say if what they are testing is indicative of anything?"

I took a deep breath. "I keep asking and no one will commit. My doctor said this is how cancerous tumors look, but there are some benign growths that look this way too. So until the results are back I'm stuck worrying about it and trying to stay busy enough to keep my mind off of it."

"Is this why I'm coming back to an organized office with very little paperwork to catch up one for the first time ever?" He asked distracting me from the endless scenarios my mind could spin at the drop of a hat.

"Tank came over to my apartment with pizza and said it was because he'd had a hard day and needed to unwind. I knew he was just doing it to check up on me because I'd been acting strange at the office when I first went to the doctor's office. I made him tell me what was so rough about his day and we talked about the paperwork, so I volunteered to help him get through it. A lot of that is stuff I either did at E.E. Martin or in school so I was glad to help. Plus it kept me occupied which was a relief," I told him.

"Whatever the reason I'm glad you agreed to help. The guys are relaxed, Tank was smiling and my office wasn't a disaster like it usually is. So, you may have been trying to help Tank but you helped me too," he confessed. I was so glad Tank had given me the opportunity to try my hand at the office work. The thought of doing something to repay Ranger for his kindness to me over the years made me feel proud of myself.

"Why didn't you want anyone to know?" He asked as the silence began to stretch.

I shrugged a little before admitting, "Because I don't know what to tell them. I mean, do I say hey guys there's a fifty/fifty chance I may have a harmless knot in my boob, or I may breast cancer. If you don't mind, try not thinking about it for the next few days until I know either way."

He laughed at my offhanded way of telling the guys. "No Babe, I don't think that will work. The first time you use the word boob or breast and the guys won't be able to think about anything else. But you might be surprised at how creative they might be in keeping you busy so that you don't have to think about it."

"I just don't think I could tell them, and if someone else spilled the beans I wouldn't want the looks of pity they might give me. I just want everything to be normal." I told him, hoping he'd understand how true that last sentence was on many levels.

"I know Babe, and I won't say a word, but the guys are going to notice something is wrong. I knew it the moment I looked at your eyes. You looked like you hadn't slept in days and there was no sparkle there at all. You looked lost," he tried explaining. "What about Tank?"

I considered what he was saying, "I didn't tell him where the tests were being done, but he knew I was having a biopsy. I decided to keep things as vague as possible so that if you asked about it he could honestly tell you he didn't know."

"He would have kept your secret," he advised. "I'm not sure what happened while I was gone but something in how he looks at you is different. He's worried about you and might surprise you in his ability to help."

I took a deep breath and tried to master the tears that threatened to spill from my eyes. Before either of us could say anything a light knock came to the door that could only mean Ella had arrived with food.

Ranger got up and let her in, allowing the smell of something delicious to enter with her. "Hello Stephanie, dear," she said pushing a cart with several dishes on it to the kitchen.

I stood up and walked to her, refusing to be rude to the person who seemed to dote on me the most. She transferred the food to the bar in the kitchen and then turned to look at me. She paused briefly which was unusual and then said, "I wasn't sure what you wanted so I made a special plate with a few choices just for you." And with that announcement she lifted a lid from a small platter which contained three cookies, a cup of pudding, a slice of cheesecake with strawberries on top, and a big slice of chocolate cake."

My face broke into a smile at the idea of a buffet of Ella's delicious desserts being offered to me. She touched my arm and said, "If there is anything else you may need, just let me know. I'll gladly bring something else up."

We both thanked her and she disappeared, leaving us to eat dinner together. Most of the meal was silent, but we did spend some time discussing the specifics of what I'd done with Tank and the time saving measures I'd put in place to help. Ranger seemed genuinely pleased and impressed. I also noticed he didn't seem the least bit surprised. His shock was that I wanted to do it, not in my ability to get it done.

I started to get sleepy again after I polished off the cake and the pudding. Ranger agreed to take a bite of the cheesecake but I couldn't help but notice he only ate the strawberry topping and none of the creamy cake underneath. This guy really needed to learn how to eat.

He must have seen me yawn and asked if I wanted to stay the night on seven. It was a tempting offer. I didn't think there was a more comfortable bed in Trenton, but I also thought it had 'big mistake' written all over it. I was spending a lot of time in denial land trying to pretend everything was fine. If I spent time playing house with Ranger it might be tempting to believe it was real while I was busy living in a fantasy. That would make it hurt all the more when he went his way and I went mine the next morning. No, I had enough things screwed up in my life at the moment and I didn't think I could survive if I had to add broken heart to the list too.

"Thanks, but I think I should go back to my apartment," I finally said. He waited for a minute and raised an eyebrow at me. I decided to take a chance on what he meant and said, "Yea, I'm sure."

That got me a full on laugh, making me think I'd spoken too soon. Laid back happy Ranger was even more gorgeous than his more serious counterpart and I suddenly wished I could spend a little more time with him.

I shook my head to get the thought out and proceeded to put on my boots and look for my purse. "I think your stuff is still downstairs," he admitted so we went back down to five side by side.

When we stepped off the elevator Tank was standing beside Lester's cubicle. He looked at us both but his face gave away nothing that he was thinking. I knew him well enough by now to know he was definitely thinking something but he was electing to keep it from us both. I didn't mind it so much since I knew he was blocking Ranger out too.

Lester came over and said, "Well Beautiful, it's nice to see you've come to your senses and come back down to see good old Santos."

I didn't have a come back for that, which I took as evidence that I was more tired than I thought. "Actually, I just need one of you to give me a ride home since my car is still there."

It looked like both Ranger and Tank intended to do it, but Lester was a lot faster to speak up, and before anyone could object he had his arm around my shoulder leading me to Tank's office to get my stuff. I guess my chariot tonight would have green eyes and dark skin. As long as I could keep up with the jokes I knew he wouldn't press me to talk so it was probably the best possible option. I had survived one day of waiting, there were only six more to go.

_Tank's POV_

When Santos swept Stephanie off to her apartment I figured Ranger would want to talk, so I wasn't surprised when he nodded to his office.

"Door," he said indicating he wanted it closed.

I sat down on the sofa thinking this was going to be a long conversation and I didn't like the straight back chairs near his desk. Ranger ran his fingers through his hair and let out a long breath. "I don't know how to thank you for all you've done."

"Second in command," I reminded him. "Just doing my job."

"No, keeping the office running is your job," he interrupted me. "What you tried to do for Stephanie was well beyond that."

"What I did for Steph had nothing to do with my job." I said, surprised at how true it felt. "She needed somebody and with you out of town, I figured I could help my friend."

He looked at me for a minute and his eyes narrowed like he was trying to figure out if I had an ulterior motive for watching over Steph. I decided to diffuse the thought and told him, "Relax man, we're friends nothing more. If anything I have a lot more respect for her, but her heart only belongs to one person."

He looked surprised at my candor. "Morelli?" He asked, sounding like he was genuinely worried about my answer.

"Hell no man. Get your head out of your ass," I corrected him quickly. "That girl wants you, no body else."

He sat back in his chair. "Even if that were true, it can't happen," he told me before drifting off in his own thoughts.

I decided to interrupt to ask, "Why not?'

He looked back to me to reply, "She's got enough to deal with right now that adding the worry of my life on top of everything is too much to ask of her."

"So if she gets a clean bill of heath from this test are you going to step up then?" I pushed.

"I didn't say that, I just said the timing was all wrong for us." He offered, as though that told me anything.

"So change the timing," I suggested.

"It's not that simple. What if she really is sick? What can I offer her if she has to go through chemo or a surgery like that?" He thought aloud while leaning forward and resting his arms on his desk once more.

So you're saying you could only be involved with her if she stays young, pretty and healthy?" I pushed again.

"No!" He barked out in return. "But what do I know about being with somebody through that? I've been careful to keep from getting entangled with anybody because I'm not good with the emotional stuff."

"You didn't seem to have any trouble with it this afternoon when she fell asleep on you." I reminded him.

"That was different," he countered.

"Why, because you didn't know she might be sick?" I asked with a little of my frustration with this conversation coming through.

"No, because she wasn't asking for anything and I know what she needs when she breaks down like that," he explained.

"How often does Stephanie ask for stuff?" I asked him, beginning to smell victory. "I mean, when we're not around does she turn into a demanding princess that has to be catered to?"

"Shit man, you know her better than that," he cut me off. "I've never met a woman like her. She understands what I do and accepts what I've done. And even when I make it clear I want to do something for her she seems to fight me on it. What you see is what she's like all the time."

"Exactly," I agreed. "So why is it again that you can't be in a relationship?"

His head jerked up at my use of the word. "She's….she might be…" I was struggling not to laugh at his attempt to come up with a single valid reason.

"Are you trying to tell me you don't love her?" I asked, sitting up a little to press my advantage.

He responded in kind by leaning back, physically admitting to defeat even if he hadn't said the words. "You need to spend some time thinking about what you really want. Take the possibility of her being sick out of it completely. I know you man, and even if we hadn't had this chat you'd stick by her side through anything that might be coming. You may as well tell her why you're doing it."

He didn't say anything but I could tell I'd made him think. I stood up after a few minutes had passed. I mean, I was a patient man, but just sitting here listening to the clock tick wasn't my idea of a good time. Hell, maybe I'd spent too many hours in the truck with Steph and I'd gotten used to the chatter.

As I started to walk to the door he asked, "And what if she doesn't feel the same way?"

I shook my head knowing how impossible that was. "Trust me?" I asked.

"That's a ridiculous question," he replied because we both knew the answer was yes.

"Then believe me when I tell you she feels the same way. I would have bet on it before all this doctor shit started, but after seeing the changes in her when she would ask about you and when she was talking to you on the phone, I know it as fact." I assured him.

Then just as my hand hit the doorknob I decided to stoke the fire and said, "Think about it man, because when this gets out, and eventually it will, there will be a line of guys hoping to help her. And if you haven't staked a claim she may begin to listen to the guys when they tell her about their own feelings for her."

His eyes darkened and I could see the quick snap of his temper at the thought that one of the guys would make a move on his woman.

I walked out, struggling to keep from laughing. She might not be able to ask me for anything but I suddenly knew exactly what I could do to help my Little Girl. Ranger wasn't the only one who knew how to apply pressure.


	7. He's Back!

_The credit and praise should all go to JE. I'm just making a mess with her masterpiece._

_Fredda (Rangergirl1234), once again you've saved the day with your beta skills and suggestions. Thank you so much for your patience and hard work._

**Chapter 7 – He's Back!**

_Stephanie's POV_

"Are you going to sit down and work, or are you really leaving this time?" Tank said, interrupting my tenth trip across his office.

"Argggh!" There, it might not be the answer to his question, but the growl I replied did explain how I felt.

"Come here," he requested, pointing to the guest chair across from his desk. "What's on your mind?"

"I have to see my parents; my mother has been pressuring me to come for dinner. I know I can't survive a whole meal with them right now, but I feel like I need to go just to keep her off my back for a few days." I explained.

"Alright, then go now, mooch some dessert from your mom's kitchen, and then use the excuse that you have a hard ass boss that wants you to put in a few more hours in the office and come back when you've had enough," he said as though it were that simple.

"And what if she sees that something is wrong with me?" I asked him, letting my hope hang out there that he might have an answer to the question that'd kept me away from the Burg for weeks now. "She won't stop asking about it until I tell her something. If she thinks there is something wrong with me, I'll never have a moment's peace."

Tank leaned back in his chair and pressed his lips together. I could tell the wheels were spinning in his head and he was trying to keep from saying something less than flattering about my mother. I wondered which option would snap first.

Finally, he opened a drawer and pulled a panic button, flipped it over and wrote down the signal number from the back. "Here," he said tossing it to me.

I caught it mid-air feeling impressed with my skills and then said, "This is your plan? I push the button and my parent's house is surrounded by scary men in black? That will make my parent's feel much better."

As we talked about it some more, my cell phone rang again and I checked the caller ID before answering it on speaker. "Hello, Mom," I said with as much false cheeriness in my voice as was possible.

"Stephanie Plum," I could tell from the use of both names that I had waited too long to show up. "I've already got the lasagna in the oven. I'll expect you here at 6:00. No excuses."

I shut my phone when I realized she'd hung up on me. What was it with people these days that no one bothered to say goodbye anymore?

I looked up at Tank and he was smiling at me. "What's that look for?" I asked.

"I'll bet the idea of us surrounding the house like a swat team is a little more appealing now," he teased.

I don't know why I did it but my mouth opened and I retorted, "Laugh it up big guy, but you're coming with me."

Chuckles shut up at my announcement, so I kept talking. "Ranger is north of town on a take down and won't be back until late tonight. I know you guys are working your schedules so that I'm never alone, which is very sweet, so here is your chance to do something."

He seemed serious when he said, "I'll gladly take you and we can work out something so that we have a legitimate reason to leave quickly if you need to, but you are going to have to keep your grandmother's hands off my ass."

I laughed out loud. "Alright, I'll be your bodyguard tonight," I gladly admitted trying to hide my smile when he visibly relaxed. I made my way back to the little table at the side of his office and sat back down in front of the stack of messages I needed to return to clients.

Just before I began to dial I asked, "Tank, do you want me to move out of your office and back to my cubicle? There's no reason for you to give up your privacy just for me to make phone calls and type up documents."

"Nah, I like having you in here. I was on the floor for years in the same cubicle you sit in. But a few years ago, Ranger thought I needed an office in order to project the right image when people came in to meet with me. I don't give a rat's ass about my image, but it seemed important so I went along with it. I kind of miss the rumble of the floor and having you in here keeps it from being so quiet." He confessed.

"But you rarely talk. Are you sure you like the noise that comes along with me?" I pressed.

"I was the oldest of five children in a three bedroom house. I went straight from high school into the Army and lived in a barrack with twenty guys. From there I went into Special Forces where we tended to work in smaller but much closer knit groups. Until I became the second in command here I was always surrounded by people. I may not talk as much, but that doesn't mean I prefer the quiet of being alone," he explained.

"You know for a guy who says he doesn't talk much, you can throw out some long speeches from time to time," I teased back smiling when his big laugh came out and filled the air.

I made my calls to clients who needed some special attention and felt such a sense of accomplishment that I managed to calm them all down. A few of them seemed to want to meet me. I wasn't sure how Ranger would feel about that. It was one thing for me to be the friendly voice on the phone, but to be a public face was another thing entirely.

My cell phone rang once more, pulling me from my thoughts and I answered it quickly, assuming it was my mother calling back with more demands about tonight.

Instead, it was a friendly woman's voice asking to speak with Stephanie Plum. I gripped the edge of the table knowing it was from the doctor's office. It was Thursday and I knew tomorrow would mark the one week point so I assumed there were results back from my biopsy.

She proceeded to confirm my suspicions and asked if I could come in tomorrow at 7:30 so he could review the report with me. "Is that in the morning?" I asked, just to be sure. For thirty years I'd been going to doctors and I never remembered so many early morning office visits.

She laughed and said yes, she was fitting me in before his regular appointment schedule so it needed to be early. "Okay," I agreed, trying to take a deep breath while the little white spots began to appear behind my eyelids. "I'll see him then."

When I shut my phone I felt my chair being pulled back and my head being forced between my legs. It took me a few minutes of pressing against his hand to get control of my breathing. When I nodded that I was okay Tank pulled his hand away and let me sit up. "What's going on, Little Girl?"

"The doctor wants to see me at 7:30 in the morning. He has the results of my biopsy and wanted her to bring me in to discuss them before his regularly scheduled appointments," I explained as a few rogue tears fell down my cheeks despite the mad blinking I was doing to stop their fall. I could only live in denial land for fourteen more hours. Despite wanting to know what was going on, I wasn't sure I was really ready to have the undeniable truth out there.

I found myself wrapped in some massive arms and I relaxed into them. Ranger and Tank had been wonderful to me this week. There seemed to be a never ending stack of work for me to do. I could have sworn I'd typed up contracts and billings for some of the same clients more than once, but I didn't bother to double check. I needed to be busy and if the guys were giving me duplicate items to perform I wasn't going to complain because it kept my mind too occupied to worry.

The last six days, I'd only spent the nights alone. I would come in as soon as I got tired of lying in bed. Usually I was on the floor by 7:30 with my hair and face fully pulled together. If I was going to try and keep my news to myself then I needed to be sure my public face was as flawless as I could make it to keep the doubts to a minimum.

I typically went straight into Tank's office and would find a neat little stack of projects for me, which I'd work on until lunch. Some days I would just pick up something from the break room, and some days Tank and I would go to Shorty's for a bite in his kitchen. Then, in the afternoon I'd usually go over my morning work with Ranger and he'd give me a stack of clients he wanted me to reach out to, along with the message he wanted me to convey.

By the time the clients were beginning to leave for the day, I'd go into the control room and spend an hour at the monitors so the guys on the evening shift could have a break for dinner. The last three days Ranger would happen by as I was leaving the control room and invite me to seven for dinner with him. I always accepted, glad to have a distraction to keep me occupied. The time we spent talking over dinner had been what was holding me together. He'd been open and unguarded, sharing about his past and his hopes for the future. If I hadn't already considered him the perfect man, the last few nights would have convinced me of that fact.

Last night he warned me that he had to be out of town today and wouldn't be back until late tonight. He'd offered his apartment to me if I didn't want to go home tonight, but I declined. Despite loving the peaceful feeling of his home, I needed the time in my own apartment. After spending all day forcing myself to stay focused on the present, I needed the dark hours of the night to dwell on the uncertainty of what I might hear from the doctor. Some nights I cried, last night I got pissed off and threw things. I succeeded in making a mess and working off some tension, but it did nothing to take away the worry so I decided not to do that again.

Now I was glad I'd declined his offer to stay on seven this evening. If I survived dinner with my parents, I knew I'd need a chance to prepare myself for whatever I might hear tomorrow.

I had been so wrapped up in my thoughts that I jumped when Tank finally spoke. "What time am I picking you up in the morning?"

"I can get there myself; it's just an appointment to talk. He won't be doing anything while I'm there, so it would be safe for me to drive home afterward." I clarified.

"I'm glad to hear all of that. Now what time am I picking you up?" He repeated making me think this wasn't an offer to help; it was a command for me to accept.

"You're getting kind of bossy, do you know that?" I tried lightening the mood.

"I hear the people you spend the most time with begin to rub off on you and there's this spunky brunette that talks a lot…" he tried to counter but I smacked his arm to show him I didn't appreciate the implication that I was bossy.

Tank glanced at his watch and announced, "So if you are seriously pulling me into the war zone at your parent's house then we need to leave in five minutes to get there in time."

That was all it took to snap me into action. If I was going under the microscope of my mother's gaze I would need every one of those seconds to paint on a face that would pass the scrutiny.

_Tank's POV_

We pulled up to the Plum residence with three minutes to spare. Her mother and crazy grandmother were standing at the door watching. I let Stephanie step out first and watched as their expressions turned to surprise when I unfolded from the truck.

When we got to the door they stepped back to let us in the house. Stephanie introduced me as a co-worker named Tank and her mother's jaw nearly hit her chest.

"I'll bet you are a Tank," her Grandma said, worrying me about what was about to come out of her mouth next. "I'll bet you're a Sherman, hard and capable of projecting quite a bomb from your big gun."

I stepped in front of Stephanie to keep Mrs. Mazur from touching me as we entered the house.

"We were just about to sit down so I'll just put another plate at the table for…ah…Mr. Tank and then we can begin," her mother said trying very hard to appear unphased by the presence of a large black man who was unexpectedly about to eat dinner with her family.

The seats were rearranged quickly and I took my place between Stephanie and her father intentionally sitting as far away from her grandmother as possible.

As soon as the food was served her mother began, "So Stephanie, I hear there is a new insurance company opening on Congress Street. They need people to work in the office and I thought you might want to consider applying for a job there."

Stephanie put a large bite of lasagna in her mouth and talked around it to reply, "I have a job. I'm not going to work at an insurance company."

"But your job is so dangerous; won't you even consider getting a job that's not as likely to put you on the front page of the newspaper?" Her mom came back, telling me she was more worried about being embarrassed by headlines than the safety of her daughter.

Steph sat her fork down hard and wiped her mouth on the napkin in her lap. "Mom, for your information, I've been working at RangeMan for the last few weeks in the office. I haven't chased a skip in nearly a month. I can have a safer job and still work at the same place."

"But you are still in danger," her mom disagreed.

"What?" Steph asked, clearly not understanding why her mother was unable to keep up with what she just told her.

"You have a body guard with you so I assume you have some stalker after you again. People who only work in offices don't get crazy people coming after them," she said as she explained her misinterpretation of my presence.

"Mom I don't have a stalker," Stephanie began to explain but then she took a sip of her water and said something I didn't expect. "There is a slight chance that I might be in a little danger so I have someone with me when I go out. But I'm okay when I'm in my apartment at night and at work."

"You'd tell us if someone were trying to kill you?" Her mother pushed.

Steph paused and then assured her, "Absolutely. If a person is trying to kill me, I'll be sure to let you know."

"So you haven't been avoiding us because you were in trouble?" Her mother asked.

Stephanie shook her head no. "I've just been much busier learning the business side of RangeMan, and by the time I'm done in the office it's well after dinner."

Grandma Mazur chose that moment to speak up. "I think I'd like working in the office much better than going after the criminals anyway. You can come up with reasons to walk around when they're bored and bend over to show them you rear end just to see if they'll pinch it. And if they don't then you can pretend to need help picking up boxes and when they bed over you can grab…"

"You crazy bat!" Mr. Plum interrupted. "I'm sure Stephanie isn't interested in trying to get the attention of the men in the office. It's a job, and she does it. End of discussion."

Of course her grandmother wasn't willing to give up so quickly. "I know what you could do to get their attention. You can wear some of those cut off shirts and get a belly button ring. They don't hurt that much," she announced while pushing back from the table and lifting her shirt slightly to display the most wrinkled midsection I'd ever seen.

Stephanie turned to me and whispered, "Is that really a ring in my grandmother's belly button?"

"It looked like it," I replied before adding, "But I'm worried my vision will be impaired if I look again."

"If you don't want to wear short shirts you can get ones that are too small and then get your nipple pierced," she continued to talk.

"I'll bet the guys would come up with reasons to walk by your cubicle just to get a look at your breasts. They are still perky enough to attract a lot of attention. Once you get older and they start to sag like mine the guys don't look as much. Damn shame really, since most guys are only interested in a woman if they can see two perfectly round boobs." As she spoke she used her hands to pull on the shirt she was wearing and then I could have sworn she was pushing something up that had been near the bottom of her ribs in order to fill in the area where breasts should be.

I had to close my eyes and look away, which meant looking at Mr. Plum and away from Stephanie. After Mrs. Plum managed to shut up her mother by convincing her to help with dessert in kitchen, I looked back over and noticed Stephanie's face was red and wet. To the casual observer it might seem like Stephanie had been embarrassed, or had laughed until tears came from her eyes at the ridiculous nature of an octogenarian talking about breasts. But when I quickly replayed what she'd said I realized Steph had shed some genuine tears at the topic. Hearing that most guys were only interested in a woman with two perfect breasts had upset her and now I had all the evidence I needed about what the doctor was going to talk to Stephanie about.

I leaned over and whispered in her ear, "Do we need to get back to the office for an emergency?"

She nodded her head yes and didn't say a word. I stood up and went into the kitchen, hoping like hell that Grandma Mazur wasn't about to ambush me and give me an eye full of something that would be forever burned into my brain.

"Mrs. Plum, I hate to interrupt the evening, but I've gotten a page to return to the office for a briefing and so Stephanie and I have to leave immediately. I apologize for ruining the evening as that was the most delicious meal I've had in a long time." I hoped God would forgive me for stretching the truth but I felt like a little flattery might keep Mrs. Plum occupied.

"Thank you, Mr. Tank. Here, if you can just give me a minute I'll put some tiramisu in a container for you two to have at the office. It's one of Stephanie's favorites and it goes really well with lasagna." I watched as she moved comfortably in her kitchen and met her at the island in the center of her workspace to take the offered dessert.

Just before I left the kitchen she called to me again, "Mr. Tank, would you tell me if something were really wrong with Stephanie?"

I turned and looked at her, confused about why she was asking.

"She isn't acting like herself. I thought dinner was good, and you seemed to enjoy it, but Stephanie only had one serving and she didn't make any of those noises she usually does. I don't really condone the way she sounds sometimes, but I tried to make one of her favorite meals and she didn't really respond to it. Is she alright?" She asked, showing me once more that mother's intuition is a dangerous thing.

"As far as I know she is," I told her thankful that Steph had intentionally left out the particulars of what was going on. "But she could tell the effort you put into dinner and if there is something she needs to tell you I'm sure this kind of support will help her to open up."

She walked Stephanie and I to the door and just as we stepped out she said, "I'm going to be making meatballs over the weekend. If you'd like, I can give you call and you can pick some up to take to the office." I wasn't sure who she was saying she would call but Steph turned back and hugged her mother. I looked at mother and daughter embracing and realized in all the years I'd spent watching out for her on Bomber duty, I'd never seen her hug her mom.

I took small steps to move away quietly, not wanting to intrude. "I'll call you later," Stephanie finally said, pulling away and joining me on the steps.

The ride back to Haywood was quiet and I knew enough to not break the silence. Stephanie needed the time to work out what just happened in her own way.

When we pulled into the garage I let out a breath of relief that Ranger's car was back. She noticed it too and her breathing hitched a little.

We rode up to five together, which told me that Stephanie was hoping to be able to see Ranger. Normally she would get in her car and go home but the fact she was coming up with an excuse to see the boss told me I was right about her feelings for him.

I told her goodnight when we got to five and went off in search of the guys, hoping one of them would have a story to tell that would bleach the image of Grandma Mazur's belly ring from my mind.

_Stephanie's POV_

I stood at Ranger's door wondering if I should knock and interrupt whatever he was working on or if I should just go home. After the disaster at my parents' house, where I basically ran away to keep from admitting Grandma's words about men only wanting a woman if she had two perfect breasts had hit me like a slap across the face, I wasn't sure I was up for any more conversation. Just as I had decided to turn around and go home I heard Ranger's voice from behind the door say, "Babe, are you coming in or are you just going to stand there thinking about it."

I looked up and saw the camera positioned just above his door. Feeling mature, I stuck my tongue out and heard him laugh from the other side. Any idea I might have entertained about not going in was shattered at the sound of his laugh. I pushed the door open, went in, and sat on his sofa.

"Babe?" He asked, looking at me as though the fact I'd had a hard night was written on my forehead with a Sharpie pen. "Do you want to talk about it?"

I thought about his question and decided to answer only that. "No, I don't want to." Ranger stood up and walked to where I was sitting continuing to hold my eyes with his. "Bad time at dinner?"

I nodded yes and when he sat beside me I leaned into him not waiting for an invitation. When his hand landed on my shoulder the dam holding my thoughts back burst and I spilled it all to him.

"I have an appointment with my doctor in the morning at 7:30. The nurse said he had the results and wanted me to come in before his regular appointments began. Then at dinner tonight Grandma said men only wanted women who had two perfect breasts." I was impressed that I said both things without breaking into tears. Maybe I was dehydrated.

Ranger's arm tightened around me pulling me even closer to him. "So what time am I picking you up in the morning?" He quoted Tank.

"You're the second person to ask that," I told him.

"Okay, what time are _we_ picking you up?" He rephrased.

I decided it was futile to resist so I said, "I'll come down at ten after seven."

"Good," he said before reaching around to pull me so that I was sitting in his lap with my face dangerously close to his. "And as for the other, you know I think your Grandmother is crazy, right?"

"Everybody thinks she's crazy, but it's hard to argue with that statement. How many skips have I lured from a bar just by showing them a little cleavage?" I argued.

He leaned in slightly, making it harder for me to breathe. "Tell me, Steph, when I pull you closer to me, is it usually when you're dressed for a distraction or when you in your everyday clothes?"

I tried to concentrate on his words instead of focusing on the way his mouth moved when he spoke, with his perfect full lips so close to my face. Thinking hard I realized he spent more time pulling me into the alley for body tingling kisses at the bond's office than he did ogling me when I was slutted up. "You like the distraction outfits," I said even though I knew it wasn't answering his question.

"I like the way you carry yourself in the outfits, true," he clarified.

"What difference does that make? My boobs are still on public display," I argued.

"It is the difference between you just being a cheap girl in a slutty dress and you being the woman no man can take his eyes off of. When you walk in a bar you do it with a sense of purpose and a certain sway in your hips that says you are comfortable with who you are and how you look. It's that attitude that draws the men to you." Then he put his hand on my cheek which got my eyes to look into his. "It's what draws me to you," he confessed, moving even closer.

"Perfect, small, big, uneven, or gone; I don't give a shit," he kept talking while moving in such small increments I wasn't sure what was happening. "All that matters is that spark inside you is there. It's what pulls me to you; it's what I fell in love with. The rest is just the wrappings. It might make the present look good, but at the end of the day, it's the present inside that means something."

And before my mind could wrap around what he had just admitted to me, his lips touched mine and he kissed me. Gently at first, not demanding or pushing, just treasuring and assuring. But when I moaned when his tongue traced my bottom lip he pulled back enough to look into my eyes. I was going to complain but the expression on his face was like nothing I'd ever seen before. I couldn't stop myself from asking, "You fell in love with me?"

"I have been for a long time but I was too afraid to tell you," he admitted as though he were proud of his words.

"Why would you be afraid to tell me?" I wondered aloud.

"Because what we have, even if it had to stay as just friendship, is the most important relationship I've ever had. If I told you how I felt and you pulled away from me, then I wasn't sure how I'd react to that," he explained while continuing to rub his thumb on my cheek. "Are you going to pull away?" He finally asked, breaking the spell of the silence that had fallen after his confession.

I shook my head no, knowing I'd never be able to pull away from him. He started to move toward me once more. "Why not?" He asked, less than a half inch from my lips.

My eyes were beginning to close and I was so focused on the idea of him kissing me again that my mouth betrayed me and just answered with the unedited truth. "Because I'm in love with you too."

With that confession our lips touched but this time it had nothing to do with tenderness. It was hot and passionate and it drove every conscious thought from my mind until he pulled away, framing my face with both of his hands this time to ask, "Babe, stay with me on seven tonight?"


	8. No Room for Denial

_JE is the brilliant one, I'm merely borrowing her genius and pretending it's mine._

_Fredda (Rangergirl1234) you've been wonderful as the beta on this story. Thanks for the suggestions and careful corrections. _

**Chapter 8 – No Room for Denial**

_Stephanie's POV_

"Babe, stay with me on seven tonight?"

Gulp. Everything in my body screamed 'yes, yes yes!'. But that little nagging voice in the back of my mind said, 'horrible, horrible idea.' Ranger sensed my hesitation and said, "Babe?" I assumed he was asking what was wrong.

I backed away slightly and replied, "I can't, Ranger. Not now." As I spoke I attempted to stand up but his arms tightened around me, stopping my progress.

"Wait," he said calmly. Once I had stopped struggling he continued, "I don't want to pressure you into something you don't want. We could just sleep; we've shared a bed before with nothing happening. But, I thought with what you have to do tomorrow you might appreciate having someone with you; someone who wants to support and love you."

His voice was almost hypnotic and my will power was virtually non-existent. But I knew tonight might be the last night I'd ever be 'normal' – in whatever way that word ever applied to my life.

When he put his hand back on my face I shut my eyes and opened up to admit, "I don't know what tomorrow is going to bring, and I'm scared. But I need to spend a little time alone trying to come to terms with whatever Dr. Peters might say. If it's good news we can celebrate together somehow and I might really appreciate your offer then, but if it's not…" at that point my voice cracked a little but I swallowed hard in order to keep going. "If it's bad news then I need to prepare myself for what that means in the long term. I'm not going to let you go through the suffering of trying to support me when the ultimate outcome might mean we'd never get our someday. Not knowing what the future holds for me makes it cruel to let you totally in now."

His voice startled me as there was an edge to it I didn't recognize. When I opened my eyes and looked into his I saw the hard look of a fighter staring back at me. "Babe, you need to listen to me. I've never lied to you so you need to believe what I'm saying is true. A friend of ours helped me to see that we already have a relationship. Our someday is already here we have just been trying to hide from it. You may think you're protecting me by saying if you are sick then you don't want us to grow closer, but you need to realize that knowing you are suffering through an illness and not being allowed to help you, to support you in some way, would be a pain I can't imagine. Please, Babe, don't push me away, not now. I'll be whatever you can handle, whatever you need. But I can't be away from you."

The tears were flowing freely now and Ranger softly brushed some away with his fingers leaving a trail of warmth on the temporarily dry skin. I heard his words. I wanted to believe him, but I couldn't imagine why someone would volunteer to love me when it might end in my death and the only memories he'd have of us together would be of my being sick and a burden.

Ranger's forehead touched mine and he said, "You could never be a burden. I think the only images I'd have would be of a short period of time where I was at my happiest. And even if it ends in pain, I'd want that time to remember when you were all mine and we shared a life together. We've already admitted how we feel; you're already in my heart and I'm already in yours. If you have to fight something then let me help you. I've got a little experience in fighting."

I laughed softly at his attempt at a joke. I also struggled to imagine what it would be like to think I was dying and be alone versus what it would be like with Ranger beside me. Of course I preferred the version with him. I couldn't explain it but from the day I first met him I knew I could trust Ranger and there was a safety I felt in his presence that didn't exist anywhere else.

Realizing the silence had been stretching for a while I finally leaned my head back and touched his face. It was so handsome and the feel of his smooth skin under my fingers was a sensation I could have lost myself in. Instead of allowing myself to get sidetracked I spoke up, "I hear what you're saying, and I want to believe you. But right now I'm feeling strung out and I need tonight alone to get my head straight for tomorrow. I'm not pushing you away. The way I feel isn't going to change, but I need to go back to my apartment alone tonight."

He took a slow deep breath and nodded his acceptance of my decision. "Alright Babe, but I'll be in that parking lot looking for you at ten after seven. And during the night if you change your mind I'm just a phone call away."

I smiled, happy to know he was giving me the space I needed and not pushing me to go upstairs. If he had exerted any pressure I'm sure I would have caved. Hell, depending on what I heard in the morning I might be kicking myself for not taking him up on the offer but something told me this was the right thing to do and my instincts had always served me well in the past.

_Tank's POV_

I couldn't sleep during the night and knew until Steph's appointment was over I wouldn't be able to think about anything else. I could feel how on edge this had me so I wondered how Ranger was managing on seven. I knew he'd taken her home last night and was mildly surprised when he returned to the office a half hour later. I figured she told him she needed her space and I was glad Ranger didn't push her right now. She was just barely keeping it together at the moment and any pressure might break her carefully constructed mask.

I glanced at the clock and saw it was twenty 'til five. Hell, there's no point in fighting it anymore so I got up and headed down to the gym. As soon as the door opened I had my answer about how Ranger was holding up. There was the distinct sound of taped fists pounding on a punching bag that could only come from the precision force of my friend.

I walked past him and hopped on a treadmill to warm up with a few miles running. Ranger seemed to be his zone and I knew if he wanted to talk he'd come to the machine next to mine. I was four miles into it before I saw his sweaty profile enter my field of vision. I glanced at his hands and only saw a little blood. I'd say considering the size of the faceless enemy he had been fighting it wasn't that bad.

I nodded to him as he climbed on the treadmill to my right and began running a pace nearly twice that of my own. We continued our silent routines until my machine hit seven miles and I realized Carlos had booked over four. I reached over and shut off his machine causing him to glare at me, but he followed my lead of stepping off anyway.

I wiped my face with a towel and then spoke, "Couldn't sleep either?"

He paused for a minute and then nodded that I'd hit the nail on the head. "She's expecting us both to pick her up this morning."

I was a little surprised since Ranger was back that she still thought I was needed but I nodded that I would be there without comment.

"What if…" he began, but he stopped and looked away. His eyes were pointing at the wall behind me but they were seeing much further than that.

"Can't answer that, man," I replied knowing he was asking what would happen if she was sick, if she had cancer, maybe even if she was so sick they couldn't help her. I'd asked myself the same questions and couldn't come up with anything. Saying it out loud only made it seem more hopeless.

"She was in your office a long time last night," I said desperate to change the subject. He nearly smiled which caught me off guard. What had they talked about? I waited, knowing if he wanted me to know he'd tell me. Asking him for details was pointless.

Finally he spoke, "I decided you were right about me and Steph and I told her how I felt. I needed her to know that I loved her without her thinking it was just pity because of a diagnosis."

"What'd she say?" I asked, kicking myself for not remembering my own rule about not pushing him for information.

He looked at me, probably trying to decide if he wanted to answer the question before relaxing to say, "We are on the same page with how we feel but then she tried to feed me a line of shit about not wanting us to have a relationship now because she didn't want to put me through the pain of watching her hurting if she turns out to be sick."

Leave it to Steph to think of somebody else in front of herself. Of course, in this case her thinking was completely out of line but still, the thought wasn't the least bit surprising. "I hope you set her straight."

"I think I did. I told her if she pushed me away now it would only make it that much harder to see her going through this struggle alone. She said she heard me but she still insisted on going back to her place alone." Clearly Steph had thrown him a curve ball by not sharing the night with him.

I hoped I could explain it to him, "Man, every night since this has started she's been alone. She comes in and holds herself together long enough to make it through the day, but when night comes she has to let out all the stuff she's bottled up. Most nights I think she just cries. A few nights ago I know she broke some stuff, but she hasn't done anything like that since, so I guess it was just something she needed to get out. She wasn't rejecting you, but she needed the time alone to do what she's been doing. This pattern may not be the best thing for her, but it's how she's been keeping it together and she can't let that go yet."

He was listening to every word. If his actions over the last few years hadn't already convinced me of his feelings for her, then his willingness to be on the receiving end of a lecture from me would have pushed me over the edge in that direction.

"How do you know what she's been doing at night?" he finally asked.

I smiled, "Man, I work for this uptight prick who seems to think when he's on an all expense paid vacation from Uncle Sam that I've got nothing better to do than run his company and watch his woman so I've learned to wait after I drop her off and then check in early in the morning to check for anything unusual."

My response seemed to amuse him and I was glad to be able to distract him for a little while. I decided to press him a little, "You're going to need to use the gloves if you're going to work out the tension like that," I told him pointing to his slightly swollen knuckles.

He looked at his hand and flexed it slowly. "I hate the gloves. Guys don't wait for you to put on your protective gear in real life, so I never use it in the gym."

I had heard that lecture before. Sometimes it's easier to keep going if you stick with the familiar. Uncle Shorty taught me that and I'd never had the guts to disagree with him. Maybe he was right after all.

_Stephanie's POV_

I hurt everywhere which makes absolutely no sense. Last night after Ranger dropped me off I shut and locked the door then slid down it to sit on the floor. I was too numb to do anything at first so I replayed the conversation we'd just had in my mind and then the waterworks started but I couldn't put my finger on why I was so upset. He said he loved me and wanted a relationship no matter what the doctor said, yet all I could think about was how unfair it was to finally have the perfect partner in life only to be faced with the possibility that my life might be about to be cut short. I'd always had shitty timing and this was another prime example of that truth.

I sobbed for the fact that if I gave in and allowed us to try and share a life that it would begin with the possibility of a serious illness clouding it. The start of something like this should include dates and worries that are never bigger than what I wear to officially meet his parents for the first time.

Could I do this to him? Despite what he said, was it really fair? I couldn't come up with an answer to that line of thought. But when I asked if I could do it without him I knew the answer was no. Would I be the most selfish woman in the world for taking the comfort and love he seemed to be offering when all I could give in return was a shaky future at best?

I pounded the floor with my fists, wishing I had something real I could fight against. It made me feel a little better, so running nose and all I stood up and made it to the couch when my next wave of self pity swept over me and I picked up a pillow to punch it. Strangely it helped and it wasn't nearly as messy as throwing the lamp had been a few nights ago, so I tucked the pillow under my arm and managed to feed Rex his gourmet meal of two raisins and a stale potato chip and talk to him some.

Of course talking to my very understanding hamster only brought the tears up once more. I grabbed a bottle of water and went to bed, thankful I'd already eaten at my parent's house because I knew I didn't have the energy to pull together a meal right now.

I tossed and turned all night, knowing my mind was spinning yet feeling powerless to stop it. When I rolled onto my left side I realized the spot where the biopsy had been performed was touching the bed and I was hit anew with anger that this was happening to me at thirty three. I was entirely too young for this. I wasn't ready to have serious issues that needed my attention. I wasn't together enough to manage it all.

I jerked up in the bed and began to pound on the mattress, the pillows and a few times, the headboard too. Finally I was hit with a wave of exhaustion and I collapsed into a fitful sleep.

Now I'm trying to get dressed wondering what kind of outfit would work for today. I had pulled my hair back into a loose ponytail once more and had tried to soften the lack of effort in styling it by tying a piece of wide fuchsia ribbon around it with the ends allowed to hand down with my hair. On my face I'd had to use all my tools to cover the puffy eyes, the blotchy skin, and the red nose from hours spent crying and screaming into the pillow. I had skipped mascara. I felt like I desperately needed it but I knew regardless what the news was I would end up crying so the effort to put it on seemed pointless knowing it was going to be running down my face in less than an hour anyway.

I glanced at the clock and saw it was already seven so I reached in and pulled out a pair of tan Dockers and paired it with a RangeMan polo Ella had given me that was a pale shade of pink. She'd embroidered the logo on my left breast in black and having Ranger's name stamped over the part of my body we would be discussing soon made me feel a little braver.

I knew there was no point in even thinking about breakfast so I grabbed my purse and slowly walked out to the parking lot.

I wasn't surprised to see Tank and Ranger sitting in the Explorer when I stepped out of the building. Ranger stepped out as soon as the door closed behind me to meet me half way in the parking lot. He pulled me into his arms and I let him hold me against his warm chest for a moment before realizing the close contact was breaking down the carefully constructed walls I'd built this morning in order to hide behind to get through today. If I stayed in his arms I'd fall apart and I wasn't so sure I could stuff my nerves back where they needed to be.

Tank drove us to the doctor's office and parked right in front of the door in the center space, front row. Show off.

I sat in the back seat for a minute and then took a final deep breath before I opened the door. I hadn't said a word since I'd gotten up this morning. It was nothing unusual for Tank or Ranger to be quiet, but they seemed even more subdued as a mirrored response to my reserved nature.

I took three steps from the truck and began to wonder if my legs would make it all the way to the door of the office. I froze unable to keep walking forward and not willing to turn away and run back. I heard the soft click of a door being closed behind me and wasn't surprised when I felt Ranger's hand on mine. I gripped him tightly and suddenly felt his strength flowing into me, giving me the ability to move once more.

He stayed silently by my side, allowing me to lead the way. I signed in with him standing beside me, continuing to hold my hand, and then moved to take a seat in the empty waiting room. When the nurse called me back he waited to see what I needed but when I stood up still clinging to his hand he followed me back. I was led to the same office I'd gone in the last time I was here and took the guest chair across the large wooden structure the doctor used as his desk.

Ranger sat down beside me on the edge of the other guest chair and finally broke the silence to ask, "Babe, do you want me to stay?"

I looked at him, thankful for his consideration that I might want my privacy at this moment. But for once my body and that nagging voice I could never shut up were screaming in unison, 'Yes!' I nodded at first and then took a deep breath as a feeble attempt to calm down before telling him, "I need you with me. If you want us to have a future, then you might need to hear this too."

I knew I was baiting him but I needed to do something to pass the time while we were waiting, and watching his reaction with his blank face completely gone was fascinating. At first his eyebrows went up and he was shocked, then as they lowered his eyes seemed to change colors, slightly warming up and overflowing with love.

If nothing else, my freeze-up in the parking lot taught me that I needed Ranger, not just to get through this appointment, but to move forward in life. I didn't need him to pick me up and carry me anywhere; I just needed him beside me so that I could walk the path. That image settled things in my mind. Fair or unfair I could no longer debate. I needed him, he was willing to be here and that was all that mattered.

As soon as I came to that conclusion the door opened and young Dr. Peters entered the office with his nose in the folder in front of him. I wondered how he could walk that way and not run into things. Maybe it was a special skill they taught you in medical school.

He sat down and finished reading the flip side of whatever paper was so engaging before sitting that folder to the side on the stack of eight identical ones and picking up the chart that was apparently mine.

"Miss Plum, I asked you to come in today so I could review the pathology report from the biopsy you had last week," he began formally. He paused for an agonizing moment and then said, "Ah yes, the results were positive, you have breast cancer." After dropping that bomb without even trying to soften it, he finally looked up. Strangely enough when he looked at us he suddenly became nervous and I was impressed that I could see all the indicators Tank had pointed out to me: his forehead was getting pasty, he was swallowing more often, his eyes weren't able to stay in one place, and he was stuttering over his next words. I looked at Ranger and saw his expression was not the blank face I expected but one that would have made me mess my pants if it had been directed to me. Apparently Ranger wasn't impressed with the good doctor's bedside manner either.

Seeing he was too nervous to continue I prompted him, "Does it say anything else?"

He looked back to the safety of the lab results and began explaining the information in front of him, "There were two growths, one in the upper side of your breast which was small. While the tumor itself has malignant cells, the sample they took at the edge of the growth did not contain cancerous ones so that indicates that it was caught very early and would carry a high probability of reacting favorable to treatment. The second tumor was more to the side and higher under the arm."

I remembered the surgeon sticking a needle in there and wondered why he was so far from what I considered my breast.

"The samples taken from the edges of that area were not clean, which leads us to conclude it is at a more advanced stage and might need more aggressive treatment." At this point he looked up and was smart enough to ignore Ranger and only look at me.

"So what's next?" I asked, noticing how small my voice had become.

"I'm going to refer you to an oncologist who specializes in this type of cancer. She'll probably want to review the results we have so far and she may want to do some further testing before coming up with a treatment plan." He explained in what had to be one of his more compassionate statements since the first time I came to him.

"Why do I need more tests if you already have a diagnosis? This is cancer, shouldn't we start trying to get it out before it spreads or gets worse?" I demanded, feeling the heat in my cheeks at being told I had more waiting to look forward to.

"She will need to be sure these are the only cancerous cells in your body. She'll want to run a PET scan to rule out other growths elsewhere and she'll need to do some blood work as a first step." He explained almost defensively. Finally he added, "Once she can determine if it's spread somewhere else, she will propose the best treatment options for you. At this point since it has already metastasized, there is no harm in waiting on treatment in order to get the full scope of what you're dealing with."

"In your opinion is this bad?" I asked, knowing I hadn't worded my question well but was unsure of how to say it any other way.

"I don't have enough information to say," he said simply, looking back down at the report.

After a few seconds passed he stood up and said, "I'll have the receptionist make an appointment for you with the oncologist and then you can move forward with whatever she suggests."

I knew I was being dismissed but I couldn't make myself stand up yet. Ranger must have seen my inability to move and spoke up. "We will need a copy of Stephanie's medical records including that report."

"We usually forward them to the specialist internally," Dr. Peter's challenged.

"I'm not interested in what your internal specialist has to say. I would like to have another physician review the findings and verify this is the best next step," he said with only a hint of a threat in his voice.

"I'll have Miss Cline bring it to you in a few minutes," he replied backing up to the door and making his hasty exit, with my file in his hand.

Ranger continued to hold my hand and wait for me to say or do anything. My mind was flying a mile a minute with thoughts. I wasn't really shocked or surprised by the announcement that I had breast cancer. I knew from the moment I felt something, combined with my usual bad luck, that whatever the worst case scenario was is what I would end up with.

Mainly I felt numb. I wasn't fighting to keep my emotions in check, I wasn't pissed off or wailing with tears. I didn't want to scream or cry. Honestly, I wanted to disappear and do nothing. I had been told I was very sick. To top that off, I was then told I would have to wait once again in order to see a new doctor who would need to run more tests before we could ever deal with getting this stuff out of my body that would slowly eat me alive if left untreated.

I guess for once my silence outlasted Ranger's patience and he asked, "Babe, are you okay?"

I slowly turned and looked at his face. It wasn't blank exactly, but he seemed guarded as though he was holding back, waiting to see how I would react before he gave in to his own emotions.

My first thought was that I was cold. I hadn't remembered the office as being chilly but I wished I had something around me to provide a little warmth. Thinking about it more I realized the only part of me that wasn't cool was my right hand which Ranger was still holding tightly in his. Of course he would be warm no matter the circumstances. I looked back to his eyes and realized this probably wasn't what he meant with his question.

I was about to answer when the door opened and the lady I recognized from the front desk walked in with a manila envelope which she handed to Ranger and an appointment card that she handed to me. I glanced at it and saw I had an appointment with Dr. Kone one week from today at 9:00. I nodded, accepting that I now had to wait yet another week before I could move forward to the next round of tests, which would require more time to pass with nothing happening.

Honestly, it seemed simpler to just book me an appointment with the nice surgeon upstairs and have him take the damn thing out rather than to keep waiting and allowing it to just get bigger everyday.

Instead of saying it though I stood up when Ranger began to move and I smiled to say thank you. When you don't know what to do you should just keep doing the next thing until your brain straightens everything out. For me the next thing was easy to identify.

_Tank's POV_

When the door finally opened with Ranger leading Steph, still holding her hand in the same position as when he'd helped her to walk in the building, I couldn't get a read from either of them. Steph looked like she was in shock and Ranger seemed so focused on Steph's lack of a reaction that he wasn't showing much either. I couldn't figure out if it was good or bad news and it was damn frustrating.

When Ranger opened the door she seemed to pull him in the back seat with her. I assumed that meant this was leaning more to bad news but they might just be too relieved to let go of each other.

"Where to?" I asked.

Ranger looked to Steph and she looked up to meet my eyes in the mirror. Finally she said, "Shorty's."

"Front or back door?" I asked, figuring that would tell me all I needed to know.

"Back," she said before repeating much quieter, "definitely, the back."

Ranger looked utterly confused about our interchange but I knew exactly what she was saying just as clearly as if she had yelled it to me. Our little girl had breast cancer and whatever the doctor had told her had not been comforting or encouraging at all.

Suddenly the connection between Shorty and Stephanie that made no sense to me was crystal clear. My Aunt had died a few years back after losing her battle with this the same disease. I guess he saw the signs because it was still fresh in his memory. Hopefully Uncle would know what to do next because I sure as hell didn't.


	9. Naming the Enemy

_The characters belong to JE. I get nothing from them other than the fun of playing with them._

_Fredda (Rangergirl1234) thank you so much for continuing to work through the raw chapters I send to you. Your beta skills are making this story a much better read._

**Chapter 9 – Naming the Enemy**

_Stephanie's POV_

I could tell Ranger was confused when Tank parked the truck at the back door in what I now thought of as our spot. But, being Ranger, he didn't say a thing and instead just watched and waited. Tank let us through the back door and into the kitchen where Shorty was busy telling a waitress about the importance of not screwing up the order and if she didn't get better at it he was going to start docking her pay for the meals he had to pitch because of her errors.

When he stopped for a breath he turned to see who had dared to enter his kitchen but once his eyes hit me he quickly dismissed the server to get to work and came over to us. He took my hands in his and I couldn't believe how small my fingers felt surrounded by his massive ones. "You just found out?" He asked and I nodded yes. It was a mystery to me how he understood, but I was thankful he was asking simple questions.

"Hungry?" He followed up. I thought about it and shook my head no.

His lips pressed together and he looked at me for a minute. Finally he said, "Go have a seat, I'll get you something. You're gonna have to learn how to eat even when you don't want to."

We moved to the side and I suddenly felt the three of us were overcrowding the kitchen. I looked at Tank and asked, "Should we sit in the dinning room so we aren't in the way?"

Shorty walked up while I was talking, sitting down some plates in front of us, and rested a hand on my shoulder. "You stay here, these two can move if you think there's too many people. But I can work around you all." With that he walked away to yell at the kid at the sink once more for not rinsing off the plates thoroughly before putting them in the dishwasher.

We ate in silence for a few minutes before Ranger finally couldn't stand it anymore. "Have you been coming here often?"

I looked at Tank and let him answer the question. "To thank Steph for working in the office I brought her here and we ate in the kitchen because that's where I always sit when I come alone. Uncle has taken a shine to Steph. He understands."

While I agreed with every word he said about Shorty, I wondered how he understood. I looked at Tank wishing he would say more but Tank spoke softly and replied, "If you want to know that, you'll have to ask him yourself."

It figured it was too good to be true that Tank was in a sharing mood and might answer anything right now.

We ate in silence and I was surprised when I looked down that I'd eaten both pieces of toast and over half of the eggs. I picked up the bacon to eat it too, but I couldn't bring myself to take the first bite. I suddenly had lost my taste for grease. Tank was watching me as my hand raised up to my mouth and then lowered back down.

Remembering the day I stole the bacon from Tank's plate I switched it to my left hand and held it out to him. He grinned, showing me twelve of the whitest and most perfectly straight teeth I'd ever seen. "Are you giving that to me, or do we really need to discuss whether or not I've ever been to an orthodontist?"

"Here," I said allowing him to take the fried pork. I watched him fold it into his mouth, turning an entire strip into a single bite. We both seemed to look at Ranger at the same time and his face was one of total confusion.

"What?" We both asked him.

"I've never seen you give up bacon before," he explained looking at me. "And I've never seen you take food from a girl before," he said to Tank.

I felt like he was saying more than just those two observations but I couldn't quite put my finger on what it was.

Tank spoke up. "She's not a girl, she's a friend just like you. And I've been eating your leftovers since boot camp. It's no different than that."

Tank's answer seemed to appease Ranger as his hand moved to mine once more. I'd finally been able to let go when Tank brought us coffee. The warmth of the mug seemed to help me thaw from the chill of the doctor's office. Talking a little about normal things helped me relax a bit too.

Shorty came over and looked at my plate and then asked, "All you, or did someone help?"

I figured lying would be a bad idea here. "The toast and some of the eggs were me, but the bacon I let the big guy eat."

It happened so fast I almost didn't see it. But the unmistakable sound of Shorty's hand smacking Tank's bald head convinced me he'd slapped him for eating part of my food.

I jumped up feeling the need to protect Tank and started rambling, "Don't be mad. I just couldn't handle the grease and since it was going to go to waste anyway I let him have it. He didn't try to take it, I just knew he had room for it and I didn't want to let any of your cooking go to waste. You can't get on Tank for accepting what I gave him."

Tank and Ranger were softly laughing and Shorty's eyes were huge as though he'd never had anyone stand up to him before. He finally grinned and I realized his teeth were virtually identical to Tank's. "Easy," he soothed me enough to hush. "I just wanted to remind my nephew of the rule that I check out the progress before he clears the plates."

His words didn't make much sense but Tank's serious expression told me he understood perfectly. Finally he put a hand on my shoulder and squeezed, "Come back. You don't need these two with you. You've got a key for a reason."

I nodded that I understood and hugged him as was our custom. This time he held me a little tighter than he had been and he whispered, "Some days will be good some won't, but they're both your days and you can make them as full of life as you chose."

With that brief Yoda moment he let me go and went through the swinging door to the dinning room. I shook my head wondering if everybody knew as many interesting characters as I did.

_Tank's POV_

Damn that hurt! I haven't been smacked by my Uncle in years and now I remember why I always tried to stay on his good side. If my skin were lighter I'd have a red mark there for sure. As it was I knew it'd be stinging for a long time.

Steph jumped up and began to defend me, obviously thinking she had gotten me into trouble. I had to laugh at the sight of her little frame going toe to toe with a man over a foot taller than her and weighing more than twice what she did.

My Uncle was clearly not expecting her defense of me but I watched as the surprise wore off and noticed he was enjoying it. It wasn't often you saw someone with a loyal heart like Stephanie's and it was hard to not be impressed with the size of it- despite the small package it came in.

He finally smiled and calmed her down, reminding me of the rule he used to have with my Aunt which was no body could touch her plate until he saw it. After he declared she was done then the vultures could descend but he would often get her to eat a little more before letting her give up. I could see he was going to take the same protective stance on Stephanie's nutrition that he did with my Aunt. Based on the headache I now had brewing I wouldn't forget and jump in to help clear her plate again until I had clearance.

He reminded her to come back even without us and I wondered if she ever would. Steph hated to think of herself as a burden but I hoped she'd listen and return if she ever just needed a place to be. My Uncle would keep her safe. When they hugged I looked over at Ranger and he couldn't have been more shocked. The site of Shorty leaning over to whisper into the ear of his woman was not something he'd ever thought he would see.

"Relax man," I said to him trying to give Steph a little privacy from Ranger's gaze. "They have a connection. He gets what she's going through."

I expected his question, "How?" so I answered him with the honest answer, "My Aunt went through the same thing and I think from the moment I first brought her here he saw it on her face."

He nodded and visibly relaxed. Hopefully he'd let this go and see how much Steph needed a place to escape like this.

When Shorty left Ranger walked over and put his arms in place of my Uncle's. "You ready to head back to Haywood or do you want to go to your apartment first?"

"Office," she answered giving us a next step.

The ride back was quiet with Steph pulling Ranger into the back seat with her. Half way there Ranger spoke up. "Babe, I want to have someone else look over your medical record. I think having to wait another week just to have a consultation is ridiculous. There are faster ways to move through the medical process than what that jackass is suggesting."

"Really?" She asked unsure of something. "You didn't like the doctor?" I tried to look away so that Ranger wouldn't see my smile in the rear view mirror.

"No, I didn't. You deserve the very best and that joker wasn't even able to look at you to give you the test results." Ranger explained. I could hear an edge to his voice which made me guess the doctor had been either blunt and callous or downright rude. Those were all unforgivable in dealing with Stephanie.

"How can I get an appointment with somebody else without having to start over from the beginning?" She asked sounded defeated.

Ranger dropped her hand and wrapped an arm around her shoulder. She seemed to melt into him and I was so glad he was here for her. As much as I wanted to help her and felt close enough to do whatever she needed, I wasn't as comfortable as Ranger obviously was with just holding her. Besides, I didn't think anyone's arms other than his would have the same effect.

"Would you let me share this with Bobby?" He asked quietly. I wondered if she'd agree now that she had a diagnosis. "He has lots of contacts in the medical community and he can get you an appointment quicker for the initial assessment and the next round of tests."

She let out a noisy breath and even without hearing her voice, the debate was written all over her face. She wanted to move forward quicker but she didn't want the let people know. "I don't want pity from the guys," she finally admitted.

"Babe, telling Bobby isn't the same thing as telling all the guys. He will keep this under wraps if that is what you want, but I really think we should tell the guys too." I had to remind myself to watch the road instead of Steph's face in the mirror while she reacted to his suggestion.

"What do I do, walk in and announce, 'hey guys, I've got breast cancer? Let's try and ignore it and please treat me the way you always have because I refuse to be seen as a helpless girl'." She was getting a little more fire in her voice. As much as I didn't want her to get mad at Ranger, I knew a mad Steph was easier to deal with than an insecure, upset one.

"No," he quickly interrupted her rant. "I want you to tell Bobby everything you know so far so that he can do some research and find you the best possible specialist in the area. Then, only if you're ready, I'd like to at least let the leadership team know. They see you the most and they are the ones that will be constantly asking if you're alright anyway. So it would save you the time of having to answer or deflect their questions."

"Do you mean the core team?" She asked a little confused about his use of the term leadership

"No, the core team is just the four of us. If you let us include Bobby in the next medical steps, Lester would be the only other one from the core team, but your circle of influence is much bigger than that," he accurately explained.

"Who's in leadership then?" She questioned, always wanting to learn something.

"It's the guys you see most often. The four of us plus Cal, Hal, Junior, and Vince from security and bonds, Hector and Rodriguez from systems, and Ram and Bones from training and safety." I always thought our leadership team was small with only a dozen people but when he listed it out I could see he might as well have asked her to stand up in front of an auditorium and talk.

"I can't tell that many people. It's hard enough to tell even one person," she admitted beginning to sound defeated.

Finally Ranger offered a compromise. "How about you tell Bobby and then at the meeting this afternoon, you let him tell the leadership team?"

"Do I have to be there?" She asked.

"No, you don't have to be, but I'd like you to be." He replied gently guiding her.

"Why? I've never gone to one of those meetings before." She countered trying to see if he was just humoring her.

"No, but you've never had the role you have now either." He explained.

"What role?" She questioned. "Sick girl that works on the computer."

"No," he answered her firmly, not appreciating her sarcastic take on her position. "After seeing what you are capable of in my absence I would like you to be the office manager and director of client relations."

She moved to look at him as I was turning into the garage. "I can't do that."

"It's too late to try that line with me," he countered. "You've already done it and impressed the hell out of everybody. Now you're stuck doing it."

He pulled her from the car when we parked and told her, "The guys feel like we've never run this smoothly. They aren't being harassed by clients when they go on site for alarm calls or installs because there is a friendly voice they can speak to in the office. The guys have been bugging me for two days to make your job official so that they can begin to refer things to you. The only person not happy is Rodriguez because he feels like your searches are the best he gets and if you're busy doing all this other stuff then you won't have time to help him out."

She laughed slightly at his reference to Rodriguez. "So if I take this official role I can tell Rodriguez to take his constant stack of searches and shove them?"

"I probably wouldn't word it quite like that, but yes, he will have to either do them himself or we'll need to get someone new to do them." Ranger explained while hitting the button in the elevator for three.

When the doors opened they stepped out and I remained. It wasn't until they began to close that I heard Stephanie say, "Why are we here? This is where Bobby does his medic work."

I could have told Ranger that taking her there without waiting for her to say it was alright was a mistake, but he was going to have to learn some of this on his own. Thankfully the doors shut and the box moved up, taking me out of the line of fire.

_Stephanie's POV_

"Why are we here? This is where Bobby does his medic work." I asked, seeing that Ranger was intent on talking with Bobby as soon as possible.

"I thought you might want to at least talk to him now while everything is still fresh so that he can begin to research some options for you. I know how much you hate waiting and if he can help to cut the time of doing nothing, then I thought you'd want that." Ranger quickly explained, allowing his face to show regret at the fact he just assumed I was okay with this.

I put my palm on my forehead and pushed. I was beginning to feel a headache coming on and I since I rarely got them unless I'd been drinking, I hated the way they made me feel. "Okay," I said recognizing the wisdom in what he'd said. "But the next time you try to push me into doing something I haven't agreed to do we're going to have big trouble. I feel like everything is already out of my hands so the things that I can control I really need to be able decide on my own."

"You got it," he agreed pulling me to him and kissing my forehead. Before he could say anything the door to the stairway opened and Bobby appeared. I'd heard his footsteps clicking up the stairs at a quick rate but he wasn't even breathing hard. Show off.

"Tank said you might want to talk to me," he said looking at me and completely ignoring Ranger. I wondered what Tank had really said. Whatever it was he must have told Bobby it concerned me and that I needed to be okay with sharing it. I'd need to find a way to thank him later.

I looked up to Ranger's eyes and saw nothing but love there. I wouldn't be alone, Ranger would be with me. I knew I could do it with him by my side so I told Bobby, "Yea, I need your help."

"Right this way," he said leading us into his medical suite. "Do you need the table or the chair?" He asked, proving he had no idea what this was about. If anything, his ignorance was only putting another star in Tank's crown.

I sat in the chair and Ranger pulled the little stool on wheels over to sit beside me. Bobby grabbed his desk chair and came over so that he wasn't sitting behind the desk making me feel inferior, but sitting with me to make me feel supported. Amazing what getting rid of the furniture could do.

"How can I help you?" Bobby asked, reminding me the reason we were here.

I noticed the envelope in Ranger's hand and reached to take it. "My primary physician is less than helpful and since I've recently gotten a diagnosis that is filling me with more questions than he has answers, I was hoping you could help me find someone that specializes in what I need." There I had said it without having to say it. I handed the envelope to Bobby and he quickly opened it and began skimming the information.

It must have been in reverse order because he thumbed through the first ten pages before slowing down and reading it much closer. I noticed the muscles in his jaw tighten a few times but he gave nothing else away.

I looked at Ranger who was watching me with an expression similar to the one he got when I brought in a skip unexpectedly. When he mouthed the words, "Proud of you, Babe," I knew I'd guessed it right.

While I was lost in the warm feeling that I always got when Ranger told me he was proud of me, Bobby must have finished his reading. He sat the papers down and scooted his chair to me using his boots on the floor for traction. When our knees were touching I began to worry that he was going to ask to see my breast or to conduct some sort of exam himself. I couldn't exactly refuse him, but I really didn't want to go there with Bobby. Showing him a cut on my arm was one thing, but exposing my breast was something else entirely.

When he reached his arms out and hugged me I was caught off guard. I hadn't expected him to respond to the news so sweetly. Instinctually I put my head against his shoulder which allowed him to whisper, "I'm so sorry you've gone through all of this. I gladly would have walked through the process with you if I'd known."

I nodded, believing every word he said and in the safety of his arms I wondered why I had been so hell bent on doing it by myself. Suddenly I started to see the wisdom in letting the guys know. I had never considered that their support might make me feel better instead of worse. I mean, how bad could it be to have a dozen hot guys wanting to hug you all the time?

When we separated I had to wipe a few tears from my face. I wasn't exactly crying but my eyes seemed to think that any strong emotion warranted tears lately, so there they were.

"If you'll let me hold onto this for today I'll make some calls and do a little research to better understand the pathology report in order to find the best specialist for your treatment. I know he is suggesting a PET scan and an initial blood screen, which I can go ahead and set up at the same time. That way, when you go for your first appointment with the oncologist, you will have all the necessary initial diagnostics out of the way. We can work this from both ends in order to shorten the amount of down time." His words were such a comfort. I was going to have a competent doctor to treat me, I was going to make forward progress with the infernal tests, and I was going to have an advocate in Bobby to navigate it all.

"Thank you Bobby," I said as an inadequate response to everything he was doing for me.

He brushed off my gratitude as though this were nothing. "What else can I do for you?"

I looked at Ranger and remembered his suggestion of letting the guys know too. So I swallowed hard and said, "I think the guys need to know but I can't tell them." I had to glance up at the ceiling for my eyes to get a grip on the tears at the thought of having to ask for help.

His smile was instantaneous and genuine. "Would you let me do it at the team meeting this afternoon?"

I nodded so he followed up by asking, "You are going to be there aren't you? Ranger has offered you a regular job helping to keep all of us organized and the clients happy hasn't he?"

I felt my face respond with a smile to his pressure on Ranger and was glad he had already told me about the official position he wanted to create for me. I smiled and nodded that I was on board with it. I guess the guys must really hate paperwork if letting me do it for them seemed like the best possible solution.

"Do you need anything else?" He asked gently bringing the subject back to the reason I came to see him.

"No, not now." I said hoping if I came up with questions Bobby would be patient in answering them. I pushed on my forehead once more and Bobby seemed to pull two Advil pills and a water bottle out of thin air to help my headache.

We all stood up and he hugged me to him once more after watching me take the orange pills. Yeah, I think letting the guys know, even if it is a little embarrassing to be the center of attention briefly, will be worth it to have a steady supply of strong arms to lean into.

_Tank's POV_

The afternoon drug by with Stephanie quietly typing away, only stopping to make the occasional phone call. I knew Ranger was already planning on opening the spare office next to his for her and realized I was going to miss having her in here with me.

At five 'til four I stood up and told her it was time to go over to the conference room for the team meeting. She looked a little pale so we swung by the break room under the guise of me needing a snack. I realized even when I stepped out for a bite earlier that she had continued to plug away, focused on each task as though it were the most vital thing in the world. She hadn't eaten. We were going to have to come up with a way to insure that didn't happen often. Maybe Uncle could give me some suggestions.

With a slice of toast coated in peanut butter and honey and a water bottle in her hand we sat in the last two empty chairs at the table. Stephanie was to Ranger's right in the chair I usually sat in. I insisted she take it because I knew what we would be discussing at some point and she might need him beside her.

We trudged through the usual business in half the time because of the clear comparative results Steph had displayed in her now weekly reports for each department. I didn't understand why she insisted on making graphs when she first did it but I didn't press the point because I knew she needed to be busy. But when you are presenting information, it was certainly easier to get to the point when the picture made it clear.

If the guys didn't already think having Steph on the team was a good idea, I think the time we were saving would have convinced them. Finally we were through all the normal business stuff so Ranger turned to Bobby for his report. At this time he usually gave us updates on any of the injured guys or anything else that was relevant medically for us to know. He began by telling us that he expected Binkie's leg to come out of the cast this week and he'd be setting up the back corner of the gym for his physical therapy to get him back up to speed.

Then he picked up a folder and opened it. The top piece of paper held his notes written on a legal tablet in light pencil marks so I couldn't read what they said. He then began to share what was going on with Steph.

"The only other update concerns a member of our team. I think we've all been aware that Stephanie has been going through something and even though we haven't bugged her too much about it, it was clear something wasn't right with our Bomber." He clicked his pen a few times in an unusual showing of nervousness.

"It's taken a few weeks of tests and appointments to finally get to an initial diagnosis of breast cancer." He didn't pause at all after dropping the bomb in order to keep people from focusing on the word cancer.

"We're still early in the information gathering stage and she'll have a couple more tests next week and then meet with her oncologist for the first time Wednesday, so until that's done we don't how serious it is and what will be required to treat her so there's no point in plaguing her with questions about it." I liked that he reminded the guys that she might not want to talk about it still. I mean letting them know was probably hard enough for her but having to talk about it might prove to be too much.

"I'll give you a report after all the tests are finished and there is a clear plan to fight this. We all know Bomber and if there's a fight to be had, she'll be ready."

It was the perfect way to share the diagnosis. He gave the necessary information and put a fighter spin on it. We were soldiers, the fight we understood and knew how to support. Even though I suspected it and had read the clues correctly, I was still amazed at how my stomach sank when he said it out loud. Now we couldn't deny it or pretend there was hope that everything was fine. The enemy had a face and could no longer be ignored.

Ranger thanked Bobby for his report and then moved on to announce that he had officially offered Steph the position they'd been riding his ass about the last few days and she had agreed to join the team so they should expect to hear from her regularly about reports and client issues. Every man nodded and few of them made comments supporting her new position.

He then dismissed us all and Stephanie stood up quickly, probably wanting to retreat as fast as possible. But before she could make a run for it Rodriguez grabbed her wrist, officially introduced himself and told her, "I can't tell you how sorry I am..." he let it linger for a brief moment before continuing, "That you won't be running my searches for me anymore. The only way I'll get the detail you got is to do them myself and I don't have time for that." He let her hand go and walked away. He might have covered it well, but he was clearly sorry about a lot more than how his job was going to change.

One by one each of the guys walked by her and either hugged her or squeezed her hand saying congratulations or thanking her for taking over the organizational duties for the office. But it was obvious as hell they might be saying one thing with their mouths, but their hearts were screaming something entirely different.

The last one to walk past was Lester. He grabbed both her shoulders, kissed her head with his eyes closed lingering that way for a few seconds, and then walked away without saying a single word. I don't who that shocked more, me or Stephanie. I think we both expected a different response from him. I raised an eyebrow at Ranger and he gave a barely discernable shake of his head which I knew meant don't ask and I'll tell you later. Apparently there was a story to go with Santos' strange response and I was going to get it out of Ranger.

He might think Stephanie is the one with the most curiosity but I can be every bit as stubborn if the circumstances call for it. I've been working beside her for a while now and I think some of her questioning abilities might be rubbing off on me.


	10. 1 in 8

_All the usual, the characters belong to JE, not me._

_Fredda (Rangergirl1234) you are simply amazing with such fast and thorough beta skills._

**Chapter 10 – 1 in 8**

_Stephanie's POV:_

I couldn't believe Lester had just kissed my head and walked out without so much as a single word. That was really strange. I turned to Ranger and said, "I've got to do something," and walked out of the conference room.

I walked past the cubicles but Les was gone. I checked the break room next but he wasn't there so I went to the control room and saw Cal just taking his seat. "Can you do something for me?" I asked stepping closer beside his chair.

"Name it," he replied hooking his arm around my waist to bring me closer still. I rested my hand on his shoulder to keep my balance since my leg was pressing against the arm of his chair.

"I need to know Lester's current location. Can you get a feed on him in the office after the meeting?" I asked and waited as Cal brought up the footage of the meeting's end when Les walked out of the room. The camera in the hall caught the front of his face and the grainy black and white picture still showed an expression that seemed to be a cross between anger and hurt. I couldn't place why he'd feel that way. Maybe he was upset that I hadn't told him about my suspicions, but it wasn't like Les to be mad about something like that.

Cal followed his progress from the hall to the stairs but he didn't go down like I expected, he went up. It took a few minutes to work through all the shots but eventually Cal pointed to the screen and said, "There he is, on the roof."

"You're the best," I told him squeezing the hard muscle of his shoulder under my hand. I started to leave but Cal had placed his arm around me so I couldn't get away.

"Not without a proper thank you," he teased lifting his cheek in the air like a father asking his daughter for a goodnight kiss.

I was more than happy to oblige and place a quick peck on his offered cheek, then gave him a bonus smack on the skull tattooed on his forehead. "Thank you," I whispered with my lips still on his head.

While I was taking the stairs to the roof I wondered if Cal was being so affectionate just because of my diagnosis. Did it matter if the answer was yes? Not really, I finally decided as I began to pant from climbing up the stairs. As I willed myself to go up the last ten steps pulling on the handrail to force myself to keep fighting gravity, I made it to the door to the roof. I stood there for a minute, taking deep breaths while trying to calm my respirations down enough that I could talk if Les would let me.

Feeling like I had it under control, I pushed the door open hard and jumped when it thudded against the door loudly. Les turned around with his hand drawn back as though he had considered going for his gun. Seeing me he relaxed and turned back around to look over the rooftop at the city.

I stood next to him and took in the view for a brief minute, hoping he would talk. But his silence convinced me that he wasn't going to give up the secret of his anger that easily.

"Are you going to tell me why you're mad at me?" I started and then figured I should go ahead and apologize for not telling him sooner. "I'm sorry that I didn't tell you earlier but I just found out today for sure and until I knew for sure, I just didn't want to worry you guys."

He turned and interrupted my apology just as I was beginning to gain some momentum. "Beautiful, I'm not mad at you. I'm mad _for_ you."

"H-huh?" I stuttered out in my eloquence.

His face relaxed into a soft smile at my confusion. Then he ran his fingers through the spikes in his hair letting out a long breath. "My mom," he finally said as though that were the answer to all my questions.

Not picking up on the clue quick enough I repeated, "Your mom?"

"Yea," he agreed. "She had breast cancer when I was in high school."

"Oh, and hearing about my diagnosis brought back the memory of it?" I tried to reason, since getting information out of the Merry Man that was typically the most talkative was proving to be next to impossible.

"Something like that," he told me. His jaw tightened and his eyes narrowed while he looked out over the city once more. It seemed as though he were deciding something important so I waited and eventually he rewarded my patience by speaking.

"We didn't have a lot when I was kid. I remember there being hushed conversations for weeks or maybe months between my parents when I was a junior in school. My mom was often crying when I came home from school, but nothing I said or did would get her to open up about what was happening. One day I cornered my dad in the garage and asked if he and my mother were getting a divorce. I was convinced that was the only thing that would keep her upset like she had been." He started.

I put a hand on Lester's arm and he covered it with his other hand. "My dad quickly told me I was no where near the truth, which was a relief because I always thought my parents were in love. So he made me go in the house and then called my mom and sister from the kitchen and had us all sit down. 'It's time,' he told my mom and she nodded so he began to explain what was wrong."

I could see him swallow as though preparing himself for the hard part of the story. "He told us that my mom had cancer, breast cancer, and that the doctor's didn't think she would live more than a year. We were stunned so he went on to explain how the doctors wanted to do all the fancy treatments but we couldn't afford them. We only had major medical, which didn't cover this kind of thing, so we needed to prepare ourselves for the fact that our mother was going to die."

I sucked in a quick breath and Les moved to put an arm around my shoulder pulling me closer to him. "The doctors hadn't given her long but once we all knew she didn't seem as sad. It almost seemed like she had made up her mind to fight as long as she could to see me through high school. My sister graduated a year before me and my mom was still fighting. I made it through graduation and was accepted to college. She was so proud, but the effects of having fought for so long were apparent and she quickly went downhill. Three weeks after I graduated she died during the night."

"Oh Les," I said putting my arms around his waist to hold him closer.

His arm tightened around me and he finished his story. "I knew she only held on for me and everywhere I looked around the house I saw her so I had to get out. Instead of going to school like I planned, I went to the local army recruiter and enlisted one week after her funeral. My crazy cousin was in the military and I figured if he could hack it there I could too. Plus I had so much anger in me that my mom was taken from us that I needed to do something that allowed me to fight like she had."

We were both silent for a while and he finally spoke up to say, "Beautiful, when Bobby said you were sick I was furious at the idea of the fight that is ahead of you. I know you'll have all the advantages of a great medical team to look after you, but in the end you are still going to have to fight to beat this. If you give up, we all lose and I can't lose you like my mom."

My first instinct was to remind him that we were just friends but my gut told me he knew that so I kept that thought to myself. "Les, I want to beat this. It's still early and I don't know what they're going to want to do, but I promise not to give up."

"We need you around here Beautiful," he assured me. "You'll never be alone. We'll take you to your appointments and stay by your side if you get sick from the treatment. We'll help you fight, all you have to do is tell us how."

By this point Les had pulled me to his chest and was holding me in his arms. "Can I ask you a question?" I spoke up from the comfortable and warm place against his heartbeat.

"Anything, you know that," Les replied looking down with an expression of curiosity on his face.

"Since Bobby announced I was sick you guys have been a little more touchy feely. Is this just a temporary thing or can I expect to have strong arms nearby from now on?"

I could feel his chest shaking a little so I figured he was laughing a little at my expense. I wasn't that upset about it like I normally would be. I was glad to see he was letting go of a little of the initial anger he had come up to the roof top with.

"I can't speak for the other guys, but I plan on keeping my hands on you as much as Ranger will let me." He answered, giving me a reason to laugh.

"What makes you think Ranger would care if you touched me?" I wondered.

"You're kidding, right? Have you seen the way that man looks at you? Do you know how often we get called to the mats just for looking at you walk by or making a comment about how good you look." He offered as an explanation.

"What makes you think he won't still call you to the mats?" I pressed, trying to point out the flaw in his logic.

"We don't. The difference is that we don't care anymore. Our desire to support you is greater than our concern about something as insignificant as an ass kicking." He told me with a smile.

I decided to try lighten up the mood further by saying, "That's a shame because you all have such drool worthy asses. I'd hate to see them all bruised or swollen."

"If you promise to kiss it to make it feel better I for one think it would be well worth it." He said back.

Then he got serious once more and said, "I've missed this." He used a finger to point back and forth between us. "Going to see the doctor is why you haven't been yourself, right?"

I nodded. "I knew I couldn't do anything about it but the waiting nearly did me in. Somehow I almost feel relieved to know what's wrong, even though it's bad news."

We talked for another ten minutes before the door banged open once more and a very worried looking Tank and Ranger burst onto the roof.

_Tank's POV_

We stayed in the conference room after everyone left going over how smooth his transition back had been. There was no mountain of work that Ranger had to catch up and there was no long list of clients that needed to be calmed down. We laughed over how Stephanie was the reason for the lack of chaos, which was unexpected since she normally left a wake of destruction in her path.

"Speaking of Steph, where is she?" I asked.

"She said she had something to do after the meeting," Ranger said looking around to the clock on the wall. It had been more than forty-five minutes since she left and I could see his eyes narrow, probably worrying about where she was.

I followed him when he stood and walked to the control room where Cal was seated with a glazed expression, common after too much time staring at the screens. "Pull up Steph's tracker," Ranger said harshly when we walked in.

Cal sat up straight and began clicking away. "It says she's here," Cal reported.

Ranger didn't miss a beat before saying, "Then find her. I need to know where she is right now."

Cal began pulling up camera angles beginning at the bottom floor and working to the roof Ranger turned to me and started to talk but Cal interrupted to say, "She's on the roof!"

"What's she doing on the roof?" I asked without thinking.

"Just standing at the edge…" he started to say but Ranger cut him off by yelling, "Damn it!" and taking off at a mad pace to the stairs.

I knew exactly what he was thinking and took off after him. We needed to get there in time before she did something stupid. I knew she was upset about the diagnosis, but I didn't see this in her. I never thought she'd do something like this. She wasn't one to give up on life and jumping from the roof would just be quitting without giving it a fight.

When we got to the top of the stairs Ranger hit the door to open it and we barged right through to see a very surprised Lester holding Stephanie in his arms. "What the hell is going on?" Ranger barked.

Lester's face went from surprised to hard in less than a second. He narrowed his eyes trying to decide if he wanted to tell his boss and cousin to buzz off but Stephanie spoke up before he could reach a conclusion. "I could tell Les was upset about something after the meeting and I followed him up here to find out what it was."

Apparently, that wasn't the answer Ranger was expecting because he bent over and put his hands on his knees. He wasn't winded so it had nothing to do with the three flights of stairs we'd just run up.

Stephanie came over to him immediately and put her arm around his shoulder on his back. "Ranger, what's wrong?"

He stood up and pulled her in his arms, holding her tight enough I figured she had to be suffocating. "Ranger?" she asked once more snapping him out of the trance he had been in.

"Babe, when Cal said you were on the edge of the roof I just assumed…I mean, I thought the worst." He tried explaining. I felt bad for him. Not only had he just been through the rush of assuming his woman was considering taking her life but now he had to deal with the aftereffects of the adrenaline let down without worrying Stephanie.

"Ranger, I'm not going anywhere. I don't know what the doctor is going to tell me Wednesday, but I can promise whatever it is I'll go along with the plan for treating me. I'm going to fight this with everything I have. We've just begun to open up to each other and I refuse to bow out early without seeing how good life can be by your side." With every word she spoke Ranger relaxed some more and by the end it almost felt like we were intruding on a very private moment.

Unexpectedly Les walked over and kissed the back of her hair, "That's right Beautiful, go get 'em." He encouraged her.

Ranger made a sound like a growl at the close contact but Stephanie stepped back, "No!" she yelled at him. "You can't do that. The guys understand that I'm yours, but this…" she tried saying before giving up on finding the right word and just pointed at her chest instead, "This is scary to them too. No one can take your place, but I might need the support of you _all_ to get through this. You'll have to get over threatening everybody when they try to be encouraging."

"Damn, cuz! You just got your ass handed to you by a little girl," Lester said through his laughter.

"Lester Santos, get out of here before I tell him I've changed my mind and let him kick your ass anyway," she threatened him with a hint of teasing in her voice.

He stopped laughing immediately and began to back up to the stairs, "Yes ma'am."

I decided to leave the lovebirds alone and put my hand on Steph's back without saying anything more.

When I grabbed the door to close it behind me Stephanie said, "Thanks Tank."

"Anytime, Little Girl, anytime." I shut the door behind myself feeling like even though Steph had gotten the news I had prayed she wouldn't hear, that somehow we would all be okay. In her usual manner Stephanie would find a way to use this to pull us together and we'd find a way to pull her through.

_Stephanie's POV_

When Tank and Lester left I turned around to look at Ranger. He had the good sense to look a little sheepish about growling at Lester earlier and as I replayed my words to him in my mind I began to think I might have been a little harsh. "Ranger, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to jump on you."

He put his hand up indicating I needed to stop talking. "Babe, you had every right to speak to me the way you did. I'm just glad it was only in front of those two instead of more of the guys."

"I know we've only had one talk about what's going on between us and there is still a lot that's been left unsaid," I tried to explain.

"As long as you understand that I love you, and I'm not going anywhere despite what the doctor said this morning, then most of what I need to say is out there," he said leaving no doubt how he felt.

"How can you want this?" I asked stepping away a little to make thinking clearly possible. "I'm enough trouble on my good days, but no matter what the rest of the tests show there are going to be some hard days ahead for me. Why would you volunteer to be there for that? I'll be sick, and emotional, and a wreck." I tried warning him.

"Babe, on your good days I _want_ to be with you to share in what makes you happy. But, on the days when things are hard and you're a wreck I _need_ to be there. It's like I told you yesterday, I would be beside you either way, but if you'll believe me when I tell you that I love you then it will keep you from questioning why I'm sticking around." He explained before stopping for a minute and asking, "Where would you be if the roles were reversed and I was the one that was sick?"

"That's different; of course I'd be with you. I'd do anything I could to help," I quickly explained.

"Then let me do the same thing," he spoke softly, walking to look me in the eyes so that I could see the pleading on his face for me to believe him.

I half smiled before sharing the conclusion I'd already come to about us. "Alright, but just so you know I'll understand if you think I'm a bit much and need a break sometimes."

He pulled me tightly to his chest. "Never," he swore and God help me I believed him. Everything inside me relaxed knowing he'd be by my side all the way, even at my worst, which I feared was quickly approaching.

"Come on, let's go in. I don't know about you but it's been a long day already and I could use some dinner and an early night," he suggested.

"Okay," I replied suddenly feeling exhausted too. "I just need to grab my stuff from Tank's office and I'll be ready to go.

He stopped walking when I mentioned leaving. "Um, Babe, I don't want to push you but I had hoped you would stay with me on seven. I don't want to smother you but do you really need to be alone tonight?"

I felt my teeth digging into my lip and realized I was biting it without meaning too. "I don't know," I told him honestly.

Ranger leaned against the door to go downstairs and pulled me to him. "Tell me this then; if you were at your apartment, what would you do tonight?"

That was a good question. "I don't have plans for the night; most of the time I just sit in the quiet and then fall apart. I don't mean to, but it's hard to fight it all day without giving into the emotions when I'm by myself."

"How would you feel about me coming back to your apartment tonight? I don't want to intrude but if you're going to fall apart I'd like to be there for you," he volunteered

"You wouldn't mind going to my place?" I asked, wondering why on earth he'd want to be there when he has such a luxurious home upstairs.

"You're going to be there; I want to be where you are." He assured me.

I smiled to let him know my answer and hand in hand we went down the stairs. I had to admit when we walked in my apartment I didn't feel as lost as I had for the last few weeks. Obviously, I was still holding Ranger's hand and I didn't think it was possible to get lost when you were with him.

Of course, now that I wasn't alone I wasn't sure what to do either. Sensing my confusion Ranger offered, "Just do whatever you would normally do but this time I'm going to be sitting on the couch with a bottle of water in my hand. This is still your place and you're free to do or feel whatever you need to. The only difference is that you aren't alone."

I yawned before I could respond so he pushed me to the bathroom. I decided a quick shower might help me to relax so I jumped in as soon as the water warmed up and began to scrub away the day. I used extra shower gel to insure I had enough bubbles and then I began to rub my skin trying to wipe off the words from my doctor. Then I pressed a little harder trying to get rid of the announcement that more waiting was going to be necessary. I pushed into my skin to erase the look on Bobby's face when he got to the pathology report and knew I had cancer. The soap was gone but I kept trying to wash away the look on Lester's face when he left the conference room and the story of his mother, the tragedy of losing her and the effect it had on his life. Then I kept working to try and rid myself of his plea for me to fight because of how they all needed me.

I don't know how long I had been in the shower but when the curtain moved and revealed a very concerned Ranger I realized the water was cold and my skin was red despite the lack of heat against it. "Babe," he spoke quietly, easing the shower puff from my hand and then turning off the water.

"I just needed to get the day off of me," I defended realizing I might have taken it a bit too far. I hadn't exfoliated, I'd sanded off the top layer of skin.

I'd never been handled so gently as he wrapped me in a towel and pulled me to him allowing the heat from his body to warm mine. He picked up a bottle of lotion on the shelf beside the shower and then grabbed the towel around me to pull me with him into my bedroom.

He softly dried what water remained on me and then tossed the towel to leave me naked in front of him. Strangely, I didn't feel the need to cover myself. There was a look in his eye that told me this wasn't a sexual moment; this was a time to care for me. In a motion so smooth I hardly recognized it, he untucked and then pulled off his shirt before pushing it over my head leaving me standing there inhaling his unique smell and feeling the warmth from where his body had been in the clothing only seconds before.

With his hands on my shoulders as a guide he turned me around and then pushed me to the bed, indicating I should lie down on my stomach. I obeyed without a word being spoken.

When his hands began to touch the backs of my legs I shut my eyes and focused on the way it felt to have him rubbing lotion on my skin to soothe the damage I'd done over-scrubbing in the shower. His hands worked up my legs, over my rear end, and all over my back under the material of his shirt. I'm sure I moaned a few times but it was nothing compared to how much I wanted to. This was heaven.

Once he was sure he'd gotten my back side he rolled me over so he could begin again with my feet but working on the front of my body. Amazingly it didn't tickle at all as he worked on my toes and then past my knees. Once he got to my hips he skipped to my hands and arms and then jumped up to my neck and face carefully avoiding everything that was covered by the t-shirt. Once all the exposed skin was taken care of he took both my hands in his and pulled me to a seated position so that he could remove the t-shirt.

Once again I was naked in front of him but had no shame. The room was nearly dark as evening had come and the day I had dreaded for so long was drawing to a close. The only light was coming from the bathroom, casting a soft glow in the room while creating more shadows than clarity and giving me the courage to lie before him, surrendering to his touch.

This time when he began applying the lotion on my torso I shut my eyes and concentrated on the movement of his strong hands beginning at my hips, working over my stomach around my navel and up each rib. He then started at my shoulders and went across each collarbone before whispering my name with just enough voice to get my attention but leaving the silence in the room somehow intact.

I opened my eyes and saw the question in his. The only places he hadn't touched yet were my breasts. I refused to look at them and instead focused all my attention on the brown pools of adoration that were drawing me in. I nodded my consent, grateful that he'd asked without assuming it would be okay to touch me there.

Ranger is the most sexual person I've ever been around. Everything about him exudes confidence and his mastery of every action qualifies him as the most attentive lover a woman could ask for. This isn't something he can turn on or off, yet the way he was touching the skin around my right breast wasn't sexual. His palm applied lotion over my nipple and I knew it was probably a rock hard pebble but he wasn't doing this as some sort of foreplay. He was loving me and right now that included loving all of me, even the parts that were damaged. I thought I was handling it very well until his hands moved to my left breast and they began mirroring the same movements he'd just completed on my other side. But knowing where he was touching me, just under the surface was a growth that didn't belong; the tears began to leak from my eyes.

I didn't try to stop them. I just focused on his eyes and watched them change from loving to pleading. He didn't want me to shut him out like I was tempted to do. I wanted to push his hands away from me, not wanting his perfect hands to run over my diseased body. This was one of those defining moments and we both knew it. If I allowed him to continuing touching me, to stay with me tonight, then we would be connected in a way that could not be undone. But if I put up a wall here saying you can be around me, but I won't let you in, then despite how we might feel about each other, there would be no coming back to this place of vulnerability.

A decision of this magnitude should have taken me a few moments to decide but I went with my gut and put my left hand on top of his stopping the movement but holding him to me. He raised an eyebrow slightly allowing me to tell him what I wanted even if it meant hurting him.

"Stay," I said quietly, though it sounded as though it were echoing in the stillness of the room.

His shoulders relaxed slightly and he nodded. "As long as you want me," he promised.

He rose from where he had been half kneeling on the bed and stood to remove his remaining clothes so that he was naked beside me. He scooped me in his arms moving me to the center of the bed and crawling in beside me, pulling me back to be as close as possible to him.

There was no layer of cotton to define where I stopped and he began and in the last moments I was awake I felt as though even our skin ceased to be a barrier for us as we molded into one heart beating with a shared love.

There might be rogue cells eating away at healthy tissue in my chest that I was powerless to stop. But Ranger was now protecting my heart and I knew he'd never allow any harm to come to that which he held most dear. With that great measure of comfort I shut my eyes and sighed into sleep.

_A/N: I realize the title of the chapter might not make sense so I thought I should explain. According to the CDC one in eight women will develop invasive breast cancer in their lifetime. With that statistic being true I felt that someone at RangeMan needed to have a first hand experience with the effects of this disease that would make him a real champion for what Steph was about to go through. _


	11. Dr M  Merry Man Approved

_Characters are all property of JE._

_Fredda (Rangergirl1234) thank you for once again helping to make sense out of my ramblings as the beta on this story._

**Chapter 11 - Dr. M - Merry Man Approved**

_Tank's POV_

There was a knock on my door interrupting my fifth attempt to read the report in front of me. "Enter!" I barked, not even bothering to try and disguise the irritation at the continued disturbances this morning.

Ram walked in holding the schedule for next week in his hand and said, "I had a question about my Bomber shifts next week."

No one was required to work what the guys were now referring to as Bomber shifts so if someone wanted to beg off or switch them for something else Ranger had told me to let them out of it without questioning it. I picked up the schedule and commented, "You only have one next week during the morning when she's usually in the office. What's the problem?"

"Well, it's just what you said; she'll most likely be here which means I won't actually get to take her anywhere. I wondered if I could swap for an afternoon when she goes out to see clients or if I could get another shift to cover for someone else," he explained. It wasn't that he wanted _out_ of the duty; he was requesting additional time to be closer to her.

This was an unusual problem. I had guys hitting me up at least once or twice a day for extra time around Stephanie. We were trying to keep it under the radar but with them practically fighting over who got to shadow her when it was needed, I was feeling more like a playground chaperone instead of a highly lethal security expert. I understood the sentiment though. I wouldn't let anyone cover for the time I had with Steph and until we better understood her prognosis we all wanted to have as much time around her as possible. We might not tell her how we felt, but we hoped she'd understand what our increased attention and presence meant.

"You can ask Santos if he wants to swap one of his afternoon shifts with you, but I'm not redoing this schedule again. Most likely we'll have months of Bomber duty to cover and it will equal out over time." I told him before looking back down at my work, hoping he'd get the hint and leave.

No sooner had he disappeared than another knock stopped my progress. For the love of God, was I the only one working today? "What!" I yelled, not even bothering to temper the irritation this time.

The door opened slowly and a concerned looking Stephanie walked in making me jump up to apologize for yelling at her. She began talking before I could find the right words. "I have a little time before Ranger is supposed to be back for my appointment at the doctor and I wondered if you would mind if I worked in here again today?"

I smiled at her question. Ranger had set her up on Monday to have the office next to his. Louis had worked all weekend to transform it into a beautiful place to work but she didn't like being in there alone. When Ranger was in the field this week she would take her high powered laptop and sneak into my office. Yesterday she worked until she fell asleep and that was how Ranger found her- with her head down on the table I kept up for her. He smiled and apologized for her interrupting. I considered explaining that I preferred it when she was around but figured he wouldn't understand.

"Anytime, Little Girl," I told her using my hand to indicate her desk was still ready for her. She set up her laptop and started typing away with us both working in silence. The guys must have seen her come in because I didn't have another interruption until Ranger knocked on the door two hours later.

Not waiting for my response he came in talking, "Man, have you seen Steph? She's not in her…" he stopped when he saw her sheepishly smiling at him from the table in my office.

"Babe," he began, "Is there something wrong with your office?"

"No," she replied not feeling the need to elaborate.

"Then why do you seem to avoid working in it every time I leave the building?" He pressed.

She let out a noisy breath and sat back in her chair, "Because it's too quiet and lonely."

"You could leave your door open and then you'd get plenty of noise from the floor," he suggested. But I knew what she was going to say to that.

"No," she didn't disappoint. "That would just be hum from the floor; I'd still be alone."

"Is Tank that great of a conversationalist?" He pushed.

"Hey!" I pretended to be offended.

Steph got the joke and laughed softly before saying, "No, but he's great company."

He didn't understand, but he didn't push it either. "Do you want to stop for something to eat before your appointment?" He asked.

She shook her head no and looked at her watch. Her meeting with the oncologist Bobby had recommended was in an hour. They'd need to leave in twenty minutes to get there in time.

"Have you eaten anything since breakfast?" He asked. I was glad to see he was trying to stay on top of her nutrition. It was strange to try and remember to make her eat. All the years I'd known Stephanie her appetite was so predictable that we'd never had to think about it before. She slowly shook her head from side to side admitting she hadn't had a thing.

When he began to breathe in slowly through his nose she jumped up, "But I'm going to the break room right now and I'll grab a snack so I don't get hungry while we're at my appointment." With that, she was gone and he was left standing to the side to avoid being run over during her hasty exit.

"You're doing good," I said unsure of where that thought had come from.

"I have to remember she's not one of the guys and I can't just order her to do things even when I know they would be good for her," he admitted.

"After the appointment you should take her to Shorty's," I suggested hoping he wouldn't be offended.

"What is it with her and Shorty?" Ranger finally asked the question I figured he would have pushed days ago.

I shrugged, "I told you about my Aunt," reminding him that Shorty's wife had died after a lengthy battle with breast cancer a few years back. Then I added, "But he likes to take care of things when they're lost and I think right now she falls into that category so he's taken a shine to her and you know how her instincts work. She can tell when someone is looking out for her and she just relaxes into it. I wouldn't try to fight it; he can get away with saying things to her about her food that you can't say."

Framing it like that, that he should let Shorty take the heat for reminding her that she has to remember to eat more, tipped him to my side and he said, "Can she really just go in the back door like you?"

"Yea, he gave her a key. Hell, it'd make his day if she'd actually use it." I told him.

Steph chose that moment to walk in holding a red apple announcing, "Alright, I have a snack, let's go."

Ranger put a hand on her lower back and said, "Alright Babe. Just let me call Bobby so he can meet us in the garage." They had agreed at least early on to let Bobby go to her appointments too in order to help capture all the information that would undoubtedly be thrown at them, and to have someone that could explain it all to the guys so that she didn't have to.

Just as they started to walk away I called out, "Hey Little Girl!"

She turned around with a smile on her face, "Yea, Big Guy?"

I had to laugh at her attempt at a nick name for me. "I'll leave your laptop here so you can finish up when you get back."

She winked at me and said thank you before walking away with our boss. I hoped Ranger realized what a lucky son-of-a bitch he was to have her. That wink alone was enough to make me think if he screwed this up not only would I enjoy kicking his ass, but I'd make sure I was there to pick up the pieces.

_Stephanie's POV_

Bobby drove his own truck so that we could go our separate ways after the appointment. At least that was the official reason given to me. I had a feeling Ranger had told him to do it so that he and I could be alone when we walked out of the doctor's office in case I fell apart again.

It was probably for the best and the thought behind it was sweet enough that I wasn't going to complain about him trying to manipulate the situation to give us time alone. I was currently sandwiched between the two black clad men while trying not to smile at the stares we were getting from the other patients in the waiting room.

When the nurse called my name the three of us stood in unison and made our way back to a warm office where a friendly looking middle-aged woman was standing. She was wearing a white doctor's coat over a pink button up blouse and grey slacks. It was feminine and professional at once. She smiled and looked directly into my eyes as she met me just inside the office to shake my hand and introduce herself. "Miss Plum, I'm Dr. Murzouski, but all my patients call me Dr. M."

"Please call me Stephanie." I told her, instantly relaxing at her gentle tone and friendly manner.

"Alright, Stephanie come on in and have a seat," she said motioning to a round table with four chairs that would accommodate us all sitting in the round to discuss my body. It served as another sign that she knew how to put patients at ease.

We sat down and I introduced the guys as Ranger and Bobby while Dr. M looked at Bobby for a long moment- almost bordering on being rude before she said, "Robert Brown?"

"Yea," he admitted with a boyish smile.

"Son of Alex and Chalice?" She pressed, only making his grin grow.

Ranger and I watched these two try and place the connection with fascination. Now it was Bobby's turn to give a little. "I should have warned you that I would be coming," he said, indicating he was already aware of the fact that they knew each other.

The room grew silent briefly before I spoke up and said, "You are definitely not leaving it there."

Bobby laughed and said, "Sorry Steph, but Dr. M and I knew each other when we were young. Back then I was Robert and she was Sophia and we played in the shared yard between our two houses. Then when we were in the fifth grade her dad was transferred to a different base and I never saw her again."

That was a long explanation by Merry Man standards and it gave me a lot. I knew she was considered an expert in her field but Bobby seemed so sure she was the perfect oncologist for me and now I knew why. He knew her well when they were young. Her dad was in the military, which was always a plus when the guys were involved, and it looked like he liked their little reunion a bit too much. Suddenly I had a feeling I was going to go to every doctor's appointment with Bobby accompanying me.

After they took a moment to catch up Dr. M cleared her throat and apologized for getting so sidetracked and instead opened up my file in front of her. I wondered if this was where she would turn into a personality free physician and begin telling me bluntly how sick I was.

Instead, she pushed the folder forward and looked directly at me to tell me she had gotten all the results from the tests I'd had done earlier in the week. How we'd gotten the results through that quickly was a mystery, but I figured Bobby had thrown around Ranger's name and I had learned that things just seemed to happen when Ranger was involved.

"I want to be sure you fully understand everything that's going on, so feel free to ask me any questions you may have. Generally speaking, there are four stages of breast cancer and based on the results I've seen, I would say you have what is classified as early stage three. There are two growths, one of which is large and bordering on the cluster of lymph nodes under your arm. The one more on the side of your breast is smaller and less involved," she said while turning the folder to show me a black and white image that must have come from one of my scans. Seeing the picture in relation to the outline of the rest of my breast did make it seem less invasive to the breast itself.

"The biopsy and surrounding tissue samples combined with the blood and other scans don't show any lymphatic contamination yet, which is very fortunate. But because of its' location here," she indicated the location under my arm by touching the image with her pencil, "I want to treat this aggressively."

"This is your body, and you need to be comfortable with what I'm suggesting because what I'm proposing won't be easy on you. But I think it gives you the best odds to beat this thing while balancing your age into the equation." She warned before flipping to another picture which was a cartoon version of a breast drawn from the front and side.

"I would propose doing an immediate lumpectomy, which is a surgical extraction of the two masses while saving the rest of the healthy breast tissue. After you've had a chance to heal, I would then want to follow up with a week of daily radiation therapy to blast the areas where the tumors were removed to kill off any cells that remain, particularly under your arm. This would be a targeted computer guided therapy that we would do here at the office." She waited until I nodded that I was following her so far before continuing.

"Then I would want to follow that with an initial series of eight weeks of chemotherapy using both oral tablets that you take twice a week and bringing you into the office for an IV infusion twice a week." I swallowed and wondered if I would be able to endure what she wanted to do.

"After that, we'd do some more blood work and another scan to see how you've responded to the treatment. We might need to extend the chemo or look into more invasive surgery, but the hope would be that this series would eliminate it," she finished.

Bobby spoke first. "Why do you suggest a lumpectomy instead of a mastectomy?"

She looked at him when he spoke but her answer was directed to me. "Stephanie, the difference between the two is what I'm suggesting is just removing the parts of your breast that are affected by the cancer versus going ahead and removing the entire breast to prevent the cancer from reoccurring. In some cases we have no choice but to take all the tissue and for some women they want us to take it because it sets their mind more at ease because the cancer can't come back. Because of where the tumor is I don't think we need to go that radical yet, but if you would prefer it I will support your decision and help you navigate the explanation to your insurance carrier to have it done."

"What kind of side effects should we be prepared for?" Ranger spoke up this time.

"Every patient is different," she replied to him before turning her attention back to me. "But in general the surgery itself has all the normal risks of any operation. However these are well positioned for successful extraction." I smiled remembering the surgeon saying the same thing during the biopsy.

"The radiation is simple, it will take about fifteen minutes each day and you may feel tired, a little sore, and the skin around the area being treated might darken, but that's a temporary side effect that will go away over a couple months. The exhaustion is part emotional and part physical because the radiation is killing the good and bad cells and your body goes into a defense mode to rebuild the damage which depletes your energy. The soreness is primarily from the position you will need to lie in during the procedure. A little warm heat and stretching will help relieve that." I was beginning to relax realizing she was really willing to explain every question we had.

"The chemo has more side effects, partially because of the length of time we'll be treating you and partially because of how it works. It kills all fast growing cells without the ability to differentiate between good and bad. So any remaining cancer cells will bite it but so will the cells that generate your hair growth and your fingernails, for example. It's a poison and even though we will carefully monitor it to protect you, your body will still respond to that by slowing down. You'll be tired, you may be nauseous, keeping your appetite might be a struggle, and food may taste very different, even metallic for a while."

I leaned back trying to read into what she was saying. I might lose my hair, my nails would be brittle, and eating would be chore since it sounded like keeping the food down would be hard. I looked to Ranger and wasn't surprised to see him watching me. His hand surrounded mine before I could even ask for support. That simple touch kept me from feeling like I was in this alone and brought me back to the present.

"When would you want to do the surgery?" Bobby asked, keeping us moving through the information.

"Personally, I want it done as soon as possible. There is very little hormonal involvement so far and I'd like to get this out before any of her levels begin to change. I think we've caught it early but it's fast growing so we don't have any time to lose." She explained.

"So when will it be?" Ranger asked, clearly picking up on the urgency.

"Stephanie, if you think you could be ready, I called the surgeon that did your biopsy and he was willing to do your surgery tomorrow evening. It would be late but you could go ahead and get it done," she offered. "If you aren't ready for that, there is another surgeon in his group that could do it Monday of next week."

I shook my head realizing the waiting had been the worst part and even though it was sudden, I was ready. "Tomorrow would be fine," I said then once I realized my voice in fact did work I asked, "What will it look like after the surgery? If you are taking out part of the breast, will it be noticeably smaller than the other one?"

Ranger squeezed my hand, probably relieved that I was talking and trying to assure me that Dr. M's answer didn't matter at all.

She smiled and said, "Immediately after it will be a little swollen from the surgery so it may look bigger, but once that recedes in the couple days after it won't be that different. Because of how the large tumor is located under your arm, it isn't as invasive into the outer breast tissue itself. There may be a small difference if looked at comparatively with no clothes on, but when you're dressed someone would have to be staring way too hard to see it. I have a feeling one of these guys would have interrupted them long before they could come to a conclusion."

I had to smile at her mention of the guys stopping any man who tried to focus on my chest. It was true; there was no point in denying it.

"What are the success rates with this type of treatment?" Ranger asked.

"I don't like to throw out statistics because so much of it will depend on how she responds and if she is able to tolerate the whole series without interruption. If she can fight through it all at once then I am fairly confident, maybe seventy-five percent certain, that this will wipe it out to full remission. If we have to interrupt the treatment or stop it so she can recover some during the process, then the chances of us getting it the first time go down. But if I'm completely honest, there is no way to know for sure. This is just the best option we have right now." Despite the bleak nature of her answer I still appreciated her words. So if I could be strong enough to endure it my chances of this working went up. I needed to find a way to do that, not only for myself, but for the guys too. This was my promise to Lester; that I wouldn't give up and now I saw where it would make a difference.

We continued to talk for the next thirty minutes and by the time we were ready to leave, I was a little nervous about the surgery. I'd never liked hospitals, but I felt like we were finally getting to the stage of doing something. Even if it was hard at least some forward progress of putting this behind me was going to happen. I took all the pre-op instructions and tried to pay attention to what to expect once it was over. But knowing Bobby was taking notes and would be overseeing my care allowed me to relax a little instead of paying attention quite as carefully as I perhaps should have.

When we finished the guys shook her hand and I noticed Bobby put his other hand on top of their clasped ones. I looked down to keep from intruding. When they finally let go Dr. M walked around the table and hugged me. I hadn't expected this level of support and I knew Bobby had picked the right specialist for me. This was a big battle but I felt like I had the right army behind me to win it.

As we drove back to our side of Trenton Ranger took a turn away from Haywood and more to Stark. "Where are we going?" I asked.

He gave me half a smile but didn't answer. It wasn't until I saw Shorty's that I realized he was making sure I ate. I was going to complain about him just assuming I wanted to eat but when I looked at the console between us the uneaten apple I'd picked up from the break room still sat there untouched.

He parked at the back door just like Tank did and we walked to the back door. I realized we were just standing there so I looked at Ranger to see why he wasn't unlocking the door so we could go in. Responding to my unasked question, "I don't have a key, Babe. If you want to go in, you have to open it."

I quickly dug through my purse to get my keys from the bottom of my bag and used the strange key for the first time. I was pleased when the door swung open and when we walked in, I relaxed at the familiar smells and sounds of the kitchen.

Shorty came around and saw us standing there without his nephew and said, "You finally came on your own."

"Not really," I clarified pointing to Ranger. "He drove."

"Hungry?" he asked, not caring why I was there. He just seemed happy to see me at all.

I shrugged at his question not really feeling hungry; I was more overwhelmed than anything. He looked at me for a minute and said, "Cheese only or do you want anything else on your pizza?"

As soon as he asked I could almost taste it so I said, "Plain would be great."

He pointed to the sink and said, "Wash your hands, then get your drinks and I'll be right back with the pizza."

Almost the second I sat down with my Coke and Ranger's water, Shorty reappeared with a salad for Ranger and a small pizza with extra cheese for me. I smiled at him and said, "Thank you."

He squeezed my shoulder but didn't say anything in response, leaving me to dig into my pizza. All it took was one bite of the greasy goodness in front of me before I relaxed and moaned at the flavor. Maybe I was hungry after all.

Three slices later I was stuffed and couldn't finish the final piece. When Shorty came over to look at my plate he smiled and then looked at Ranger and said, "You can wait for her outside."

I was shocked when Ranger stood up and kissed my head before walking out to wait in the truck. Who knew Shorty had that kind of power to boss around Ranger.

Shorty sat down on the stool Ranger had just vacated and picked up the uneaten piece of pizza and began to work through it with unbelievable ease, reminding me of his nephew in his ability to polish off food. When he finished he said, "What's the first step?"

Realizing he was one of those people who just knew stuff I decided to tell him and see how it felt to talk about it. "Surgery, tomorrow evening."

"Then what?" He followed up, knowing that wouldn't be the end of it.

"Radiation every day for a week followed up with at least eight weeks of chemo. Then we'll check in to see how my body is responding to see if I need more chemo or more aggressive surgery." I said, methodically reporting what I'd just learned. It wasn't as hard to say out loud as I thought it would be.

He didn't say anything for a minute and then he reached over and took my hand. "Anytime, you come back to see me even if you don't want to eat. You can sit here and think or just watch everybody. But I'm going to be watching you. A little thing like you can't skip too many meals so I'll keep my eye on how you're doing and I'll step in if those guys that seem to surround you aren't doing a good job."

I smiled at his threat to the guys at RangeMan. After watching Ranger disappear at Shorty's command, something told me none of them would want to be on the receiving end of his temper.

"I will, I promise." I told him meaning it. It was strange how at home I'd become in my little corner here over the last few weeks.

"Go on now; I assume you've got some people to talk to." With that he stood up and yelled at the waitress that he saw her pick up the glasses by putting her fingers in the drinks. I decided to get out before that altercation turned ugly.

I assumed he meant the guys at RangeMan were probably anxious to know what was going on but my thoughts quickly turned to my family. If I was going to have surgery I needed to tell them. The last thing I wanted to hear was a lecture from my mother that if I'd settled down with Joe I'd have someone to take care of me during this, but I knew I owed it to them to tell them myself instead of letting them hear it from some busybody at St. Francis.

I went out to the truck and got in quietly while Ranger was on the phone. Whoever he was speaking to was doing a lot of talking. Finally as Ranger began to pull away from Shorty's he said, "I'll have my team there for the clean out at 6:00 and then I'll have men stationed through the night to keep them out." I waited for him to shut his phone before talking.

"Redecorating?" I asked, trying to joke about that first job he brought me in on where Tank tossed somebody out the window and I first met Lester and Bobby. Little did I know what those crazy guys would come to mean to me.

"Yea, the building next door to the one you observed," he said gripping the steering wheel tighter. "I'm going to have to go for the job itself, but I'll be back by eight."

He seemed unsure of my response so I told him quickly, "That's great; I think I'm going to see my parents tonight for dinner so it works out for you to avoid the circus that's always there."

He had the great wisdom to try and look disappointed when he said, "I can rearrange things but we'd put this job off already and since I'm going to want to be with you for the next few nights especially I wanted to go ahead and get it out of the way."

"Who's on Bomber duty?" I asked trying to act innocent.

"What do you mean?" He asked with great interest in how I knew about the schedule and his order that a guy be assigned to go with me anytime I left the building.

"You didn't think I'd notice the constant presence every time I left the building, even though I don't have a stalker?" I said pretending to be miffed about the constant presence.

He rubbed the back of his neck in much the same way Tank did when he was trying to say something he didn't want to say. "I thought it might be a good idea while you were still adjusting to everything if you had someone around in case you needed them. I didn't want them to get in your way but the guys wanted to help and having them tail you was something they could do."

"Well, whoever's on tonight is going to earn their pay because Grandma Mazur will be at dinner too." I laughed.

That earned me an all out laugh from him. When he calmed down a little I asked what was so funny and he said, "That honor goes to Tank tonight." If I didn't know better I'd swear Ranger looked secretly pleased about Tank having to face my family. Maybe it was just relief that he was avoiding the Plum inquisition. Nah, it was probably amusement at Tank facing the now infamous Mazur roaming hands.


	12. Deciding to Live

_JE gets all the credit for the characters below._

_Fredda (Rangergirl1234) thank you so much for your continued work as the beta on this story. _

**Chapter 12 – Deciding to Live**

_Tanks' POV_

"So what did you do to piss off Ranger?" She asked as we turned into the area of Trenton referred to as the Burg.

I thought back quickly and figured any number of things could be put on that list but I decided to go with, "Why do you ask?"

"Because he seemed awfully happy to go on a redecorating job and have you coming here with Grandma Mazur tonight." She explained willingly.

As I pulled up to the curb I replied, "What can I say? He knew this job needed a little finesse so he sent the bigger man." Her laughter at my jab at our boss was like music and I loved seeing how lighthearted she seemed to be.

When she turned back and looked at the house, her laughter completely stopped and she said, "Tell me there is another way for me to let them know without having to tell them."

"There is, but it would be the coward's way out, and you are no coward," I assured her, hoping she would find the courage she needed to get out before her Grandmother decided to come to the truck looking for her.

It took her a minute but she squared her jaw and nodded her head that she was ready just as the front door opened to reveal her mother straightening her apron with one hand while gripping the door handle with the other.

"Stephanie," she said as we climbed the steps to the porch. "Mr. Tank," she added as I walked past.

"Thank you for letting me tag along with Stephanie, Mrs. Plum." I decided to throw out a little flattery in the hope of keeping things civil. "I have been thinking about that lasagna since I was here the last time."

"Tonight we're having a pot roast and since you are here on time it should be moist. You'll have to let me know which you liked better." She replied, clearly happy to have some compliments on her cooking.

Stephanie slipped behind her mother who was leading the way and turned to face me mouthing the words, 'kiss ass' to me with a smile. I shrugged not bothering to deny it.

When we sat down at the table Steph's mom spoke first. "Stephanie, we were certainly glad you decided to grace us with your presence for dinner tonight. I can't tell you how surprised I was to get your call."

Steph had barely taken a bite of her dinner and I already knew she would never eat the food on her plate if Mrs. Plum was already hitting her up with comments like that.

"Mom," she began sitting her fork down on the edge of the plate, "I need to tell you all something because I didn't want you to hear about it through the grapevine tomorrow."

Her mother stopped chewing and began to smile, "You're pregnant. Oh, Stephanie you and Joseph will be so happy together. I'm sure I can pull a few strings and get the hall for the reception and we'll have a quick and quiet wedding…"

Stephanie had to call her mother's name three times before she quit rambling about a wedding. "Mom! I'm not pregnant. I'm not going to marry Joe - ever!"

"Stephanie, there is no need to raise your voice at the dinner table. What was I to think when you said you had some good news to tell us?"

"I never said it was good news," the woman to my left quietly corrected while ironing out the material of her dress across her legs.

Mr. Plum then surprised me by sitting back in his chair, ignoring his roast and saying, "What's wrong, pumpkin? What are you trying to tell us?"

"I'm scheduled to have an operation tomorrow at St. Francis." She began before reaching out with a trembling hand and taking her water glass for a drink to buy some time.

"Are you going to have your boobs done?" Her crazy grandmother jumped in. "I thought about having one of those plastic surgeons do mine," she added trying to rearrange the wrinkled flesh from her stomach to her collarbone into a breast like shape.

"No…" Steph began but the tears started to flow and she had to stop talking. I put my hand on her shoulder and squeezed it slightly, hoping she would know she wasn't alone in this.

"Stephanie, what kind of surgery are you having tomorrow?" Her mother asked, finally ready to listen.

It took her a few seconds but she pulled herself together and answered, "A lumpectomy."

"What is that?" Her father asked, not familiar with the term.

"Is this a test or do they already have a diagnosis?" Her mother asked, apparently more familiar with the term than her husband.

"Early stage three, this is to take it out before they begin the treatment." Steph explained.

"Will somebody tell me what in the hell you're talking about!" Mr. Plum slammed his fist down, clearly not happy to be left out of the conversation when it was obvious whatever they were talking about was serious.

Stephanie wiped her eyes with the napkin that had been in her lap trying to keep herself pulled together so her mother quietly answered her husband. "Stephanie has breast cancer. It's getting on the serious side and they're going to take out the tumors tomorrow. After it heals a little they will do some other treatment in case any of it was missed."

Wow, I hadn't heard such a good description of what was happening until Mrs. Plum summed it up like that. "When is your surgery?" She then asked her daughter.

"Tomorrow at 6:00pm. The surgeon is fitting me in because they want to act as quickly as possible." Steph shared.

I felt a bit like I was at a tennis match watching the two communicate. Steph told her mother about the radiation and the chemo and the side effects she'd been warned about. Each time her mother would ask another question, clearly trying to find out as much as possible allowing her drawing questions to show the concern her direct words did not.

Thirty minutes later very little had been eaten but Mrs. Plum began clearing the table anyway. I had cleaned my plate and had to admit it was a damn good roast. As if she could read my mind Mrs. Plum told me, "There is plenty left over. How about I pack up some leftovers for you to take home for later?"

I thanked her and then turned to Steph wanting to ask if she was alright but her grandmother spoke before I could. "If the doctors think you're a candidate for a transplant I'd gladly give you one of my boobs. They aren't getting much use now and honestly it would be a relief to not have to wear a bra to keep the things from sagging. I miss being able to run wild and free without feeling like I was swinging in the breeze. Besides it would be fun to think I was still getting some action by having you showing off one of my babies to all those hunky men at work."

I didn't know if I should laugh at the idea of breast transplant or throw up from the image of Steph having one of her breasts being young and perky while the other hung down to her navel, covered with wrinkles and old age spots. Before I could respond I heard Stephanie laughing, clearly amused at what her grandmother had said. When I glanced at Mrs. Mazur I saw her smiling at Stephanie. Her expression told me despite her wild ways, she had made that whole speech up just to try and help her granddaughter smile. I was suddenly struck with the idea that despite their strange ways, there was a lot of love in this house.

Stephanie did manage to eat a large slice of pineapple upside cake and seemed to enjoy it. It was like talking about what was happening helped her to relax about it and the sounds she made through her dessert were enough to make it clear she was feeling better. Hopefully Grandma would help me out with another look at that ring in her belly button so I could walk out of here without embarrassing myself.

When dinner was over Steph disappeared into the kitchen for fifteen minutes and came out with a huge bag which she put in my hands. "Leftovers for Mr. Tank because he seems to like my mother's cooking so much." She was teasing me about sucking up when we first got to her parent's house, which I took as a good sign about how she was handling things.

Before we left Steph hugged everyone in her family and just before we walked out the door her mother grabbed my wrist and then wrapped her arms around me for a hug as well. "You watch over her tomorrow Mr. Tank. She asked us not to come so we'll stay home to respect that, but we'll expect a phone call when it's all done letting us know how she is. If that Ranger doesn't want to call I hope you will."

When she pulled back I saw fear on her face and realized she was nervous for her daughter. "I'll call you myself. She'll be fine, don't worry. The only reason Ranger wasn't here tonight was that he was trying to clear his schedule so he can be home with her at night for the next few weeks. There's nothing he wouldn't do for your daughter."

"That's what she says," her mother said still debating whether or not she believed it. "I guess this will give us all a chance to see if it's true or not. I just hope he passes the test because she seems to think he will get her through this."

I glanced back at Steph who was talking to her grandmother on the sidewalk. "She'll get herself through it, but Ranger won't leave her side."

When we got in the truck I was glad to see Stephanie smiling. "What's got you all happy?" I asked, hoping she wouldn't take offense at my question.

"My Grandma Mazur is a hoot," she said by way of explanation. I decided whatever had been said I probably didn't want to hear so I drove as quickly as possible to get us back to Haywood. I probably should have asked where she wanted me to drop her but I had the need to do some work in the gym in order to get some of the images from tonight out of my head. Shit, Ranger didn't pay me enough for the stress of her grandmother talking about breasts.

When we rode up to five in the elevator Steph was practically bouncing. She was her old self; the one I hadn't seen in over a month. I told her, "Have a good night," when she practically ran out of the elevator on five leaving her blue dress flowing in the wind behind her.

"Oh, I plan to," she called back over her shoulder. Based on the bounce in her step and the look on her face, she wasn't the only one that was going to have a good time while the stars were out.

_Stephanie's POV_

I had to remind myself not to run to Ranger's office when we got off the elevator. Talking to my parents at dinner tonight had been helpful. Something about saying it out loud to someone who knew what to ask was such a great experience. But the chat with Grandma at the curb was probably the highlight of the evening. Thinking about some of what she said made me blush now, but she got her point across. I had a man who loved me, who had proven time and time again that he would stay by my side, and I was about to have surgery that might take me out of commission for a while. Tonight was not the time to dwell on what was about to happen. It was time to seize the tiger by the tail and celebrate by doing what we should have done a week ago. She might be a crazy old bat as my dad likes to say, but she made good sense when she told me I needed to use tonight to do everything my imagination could dream up so it could tide me over until my body was able to handle more.

I had spent so much time trying to just hold myself together that I hadn't been living. And I needed to live, at least tonight.

Without knocking I opened Ranger's door and walked right in. He was still fully dressed from his night on Stark and the sight of him typing at his desk with the weapons strapped on his hard body was quickly undoing me. How had I resisted this for so long?

"Babe?" He questioned, looking at me with a curious expression on his face. The silence drug on for a moment while I ran through all the things I wanted to do, trying to decide which one to tackle first. My lack of words caused Ranger to speak first, "You're looking at me like I'm a piece of cake." He rolled his chair back from the desk but didn't attempt to stand up.

"Have you saved what you're working on?" I asked, shutting the door. He made a few clicks with his mouse and I tried locking the door as quietly as possible.

"What's going on, Babe?" He tried asking once more while I walked over and began to stack up the papers on his desk to get them out of my way.

When I was satisfied I had cleared enough room, I squeezed past him and sat on his desk, hooking my pumps in the arms of his chair to roll him to me. His eyes grew larger but the smile he was trying to block gave away the fact he was enjoying whatever I was trying to do.

"Something on your mind?" He finally asked. It was fun to have him trying to get information out of me since I'd spent so many conversations hitting him up with questions that he effectively dodged.

I decided to go with being coy a little longer to give him a taste of his own medicine and just nodded yes.

"Is it something I can help you with?" He tried once more.

I decided the holes in the chair's arms would easily accommodate my legs so I slid them through, straddling Ranger's lap and putting my center directly over his zipper. "There's something that _only_ you can help with."

Picking up what I was alluding to he lifted his keys that had been sitting on his desk and hit a button on his key fob. I assumed he was scrambling the cameras and was grateful he remembered because protecting my privacy was the last thing on my mind right now.

"What brought this on?" He asked, wrapping his arms around my waist and holding me closer to him.

I grinned slightly before telling him the truth, "Grandma Mazur."

His face looked pained and I knew what the image of my grandmother usually did to the guys so I had to laugh at the picture that was undoubtedly going through his mind.

I ran my fingers through his hair which was quickly growing out, but still not long enough to pull back like he used to wear it. "She helped me understand that every day is precious and I've been wasting time by trying to just hold myself together. If there are things I want, now is the time to make them happen. I can't waste another minute worrying about tomorrow and since there are a lot of minutes between now and then I needed to find something I want more than anything to focus on. And right now, the thing I want more than anything is you."

He drew in a quick breath and then moved forward so that our lips were almost touching to ask, "Are you sure you want this, now?"

"I need this, right now," I corrected him, gently rocking my hips to make my point. The fact that his zipper was now being tightly pressed against me told me he got the message loud and clear.

He held the distance between us, driving me crazy. The tingling on the back of my neck when Ranger was close by began to spread so that I felt like my entire body was being treated with a light dose of electricity and I was kicking myself for not doing this sooner.

If the night he spent rubbing lotion on my skin after my shower was all about caring for me, the way his hands were touching me now was something else entirely. This was a full unleashing of the sexuality that Ranger exuded. I tried to stay focused on what I wanted and let my own hands roam over his shoulders, past the edge of his tightly filled shirt sleeves. I moved them to his chest and touched him lightly, passing over his pecks and running down his abs to the belt in his pants.

All the while our hands were moving, caressing, teasing, he hadn't moved his mouth. His eyes danced between looking into my eyes and then staring at my lips. I wanted to kiss him so deeply I could almost taste his tongue in my mouth, yet I refused to move and rush through the beautiful tension that was mounting. With his belt unbuckled I knew I was that much closer to my goal.

"You came to me," Ranger said in a voice so husky I almost didn't recognize it as his. The vibrations of his chest were doing wonderful things between my legs so I nodded hoping he would say something else.

"What do you want, Babe?" He asked as his fingers slowly pulled down the zipper of my dress running down my back.

I had my answer ready. "I want to be so exhausted by tomorrow night that the drugs from the anesthesiologist aren't necessary."

My words had an immediate effect on him and he used his sexy bedroom voice to say, "As you wish," before moving his hands up to my hair and finally breaking the small amount of distance between us to kiss me.

The second our lips touched I took a deep breath. I could smell his shower gel mixed with the oil he used to clean his gun. My eyes shut when our lips touched but I suddenly didn't want to miss a thing so I opened them and was struck at how unfair it was that Ranger had such long eyelashes. That seemed like a strange thing to note while licking his bottom lip so I shut my eyes again, hoping my other senses would kick in.

I forced my hands to let go of the grip I had on his shirt and instead I focused on unbuttoning his cargos and carefully working his zipper down. I was quickly getting overloaded between the sensation of his tongue touching mine, the sounds of our breathing, and the smooth skin that sprang free when Ranger lifted his hips slightly allowing me to push his pants open completely. He kept one hand in my hair so that our bodies didn't pull apart and allowed his other hand to drift down to the hem of my dress, lifting it from between us so that only my panties were between him and where he apparently wanted to be.

He pulled back marginally making me groan in frustration. "We could go upstairs if you want to take this slow."

"That sounds great for the next round, but we're not getting out of this chair until you've made me scream your name." I couldn't believe that just came out of my mouth. I wasn't this forward, I didn't tease, and I certainly didn't talk dirty. But something about Grandma's challenge to me to do the things that I'd always wanted to do had taken root in me and I wasn't going to back down.

Ranger made an animalistic growling sound that hooked the primal side of me and I moved my hips once more, shamelessly grinding myself against him in the hope that he would get the message. Apparently my ESP was alive and well as he put his hand under my skirt once more, toying briefly with the panties he found before grabbing the two sides and ripping them off.

"Oh yea," I whispered in his ear when I felt the scrap of material being pulled away. Ranger's magic fingers began to explore between my legs and when they passed over the bundle of screaming nerves I bit his neck. I hadn't intended to hurt him. I didn't consider myself a rough sex kind of girl, but when I heard him hiss and felt his hands grip my hips I began to reconsider my old position on that.

He lifted me up effortlessly allowing my chest to press against his and a moan to escape from my mouth at the power of his arms. I moved my hand down to stroke his length again loving the way there was already wetness forming at the tip. Using my new height to my advantage, I positioned him at my entrance and slowly teased us both with the joint heat and moisture pooling there.

I pulled my hand away with him positioned perfectly in order to touch his face to kiss him deeply once more. With no warning his hands released me and his hips shot up in order to drive himself deeply within me. "Oh God!" I screamed out from the sensation of being filled so fully. It bordered on pain but the pleasure quickly overwhelmed that and my walls clamped around him.

He moved his face to my ear and said, "You wanted me to make you scream my name, Babe. That wasn't it so we're going to have to keep this up until you are clear who you're dealing with."

Speech was well beyond my abilities at the moment as I dug my nails into his shoulders in order to find leverage for moving myself off of him slightly. Ranger's hands came back to my hips and he helped lift me once more until I shook my head no at how far he was attempting to withdraw.

"As you wish," he replied releasing me once more to pull him back deeply within me. I know I made a sound but it certainly wasn't coherent. We began to move together, not bothering to remove any more of our clothes, but focusing on the connections of our mouths and our bodies. I felt alive and every caress increased the heat of my body and every movement of his tongue in my mouth, on my neck and near my ear increased my need for him.

I was quickly losing control and when he growled my name I could no longer hold back slamming my body on his receiving his length within me so that I new it was touching my womb. When my body fell over the edge of pleasure I could not soften my screaming of his name, "Ranger!"

We continued to move only to elongate the pleasure. When my body stopped shaking from the sensation he framed my face once more with both his hands and kissed me again- hard at first, mirroring the passion we had just shared before softening it to remind me of the love that fueled the heat between us.

When he pulled back he rested his forehead against mine and asked, "Now that you've screamed my name how about we take this upstairs so that I can better meet the challenge of rendering the anesthesiologist useless tomorrow?"

His hands pulled the zipper up on my dress and he lifted me up to the desk where I had begun stalking him and I swung my legs, allowing the blood flow to return sensation to them once more. Ranger stood and quickly pulled himself together before grabbing his keys for his pocket and then taking my hand in his.

"Come on Babe, let's go live in the moment," he summed up my desire perfectly.

We stepped out and as we walked from his office past the guys' cubicles to the elevator I couldn't help but notice a lot of coughing and no one daring to look at us. As the doors closed to take us to seven I asked, "Your office isn't sound proof, is it?"

"Nope," he replied popping the 'p' sound at the end, generally looking pleased with himself.

"You realize every guy on the floor knows what we were just doing, right?" I reminded him feeling my face turn every possible shade of red.

"Yep," he said again with the overstated 'p' at the end.

Remembering the cameras in the elevator I decided to wipe that smug expression off his face by spinning around and grabbing his face with my hands to kiss him completely. When I heard him moan I knew I had him so I hooked a leg around his hip and smiled inside when he lifted me up and turned to press my back against the wall behind us.

I pulled back and gave him a smug smile of my own. "What was that for?" He asked a little breathless.

I leaned in to whisper in his ear, "I thought the guys could use a visual to go with the audio."

"You're going to have to pay for that one," he threatened, only causing me to shiver in anticipation.

I was still clinging to his shoulders with my legs wrapped around his waist when he unlocked the door to let us in his apartment. I started to lessen my hold so that I could slide down and reduce his burden of carrying me but he made a noise of disagreement and held me tighter as the door slammed shut behind us. I assumed he didn't want me to get down so I readjusted to stay on my perch and smiled as he paused to toe off his boots by the door and then proceeded to walk us into his bedroom.

Only when he stopped at the end of the bed did he allow me to slide down and stand in front of him. "Will you let me show you how much I love you?" He asked, causing my knees to feel a little weak. I went with a nod of yes afraid my voice would crack if I tried to speak.

He unzipped my dress once more and I pulled my arms in to let it slip off my shoulders and onto the ground. I stood before him in only my stilettos and a black push up bra. A flick of his fingers behind my back and my current wardrobe was reduced by half.

He started to reposition me to lie down on the bed, but I shook my head and said, "You can do whatever you want, but I want your clothes gone first. I need to feel all of you against me with nothing between us."

He then gave me my new favorite response and repeated his pledge from earlier, "As you wish." I watched, frozen to the spot as he looked at me and slowly took off his weapons and then his clothes. Only once he was completely naked did he touch me again.

I let him push me back to sit on the bed and then lay back so that my knees were bent and my feet hung down. He lifted each one tenderly and slipped off the black shoe, carefully rubbing my toes as he freed them from the leather heels. Then he lifted my knee so that my foot was propped on the edge of the mattress and gently spread my knees to the side all with what felt like light touches from his fingertips.

Totally opened up to him, Ranger began to trail kisses lightly, beginning with my ankles and moving up to my knees. I shut my eyes surrendering to whatever he wanted to do to me. After he worked up my thigh he didn't hesitate to trace his tongue along my wet opening and up to my clit. His right hand had been drawing nondescript patterns on my thigh and now moved to open my lips exposing more sensitive skin for him to lavish with attention.

He worked silently, yet his actions spoke to me and filled my heart with the knowledge that he adored me. Worshiping my body was only a small sign of his emotion. He began to work faster, using slightly more pressure and causing the burning in my lower stomach to begin once more. I felt my hips moving against him as he slipped two fingers inside me. I gripped the bedspread desperate to have something to keep me from flying apart. Once he began to move his fingers within me as an echo of the movement of his tongue and lips against my clit I lost my struggle and tightened my eyes closed while pushing my hips up to absorb more of the sensation of pleasure.

Despite only laying on the bed my heart was beating wildly. When he felt I had come down enough to be moved, Ranger crawled over me, slipping an arm under my back to scoot me up to the pillows allowing my legs to stretch out . He kept most of his weight from me by resting it on his elbows, but the sensation of his body between my knees began to bring new life down there despite the mind blowing pleasure he'd just given me.

Still speaking only with actions he kissed me deeply making me moan into his mouth. His left hand rubbed my arm from my shoulder to my fingertips and then lifted it over my head to rest on the pillow above me. Repeating the action with my right side I shut my eyes again concentrating on the feel of his skin against mine.

Moving at an unhurried pace he kissed from my chin to my chest licking the dark skin around my right nipple and then tortured me by running the smooth of his skin over my tight nipple directly. I drew my knees up so that my hot center was touching his abs and moaned at the pace he was setting and how he was making my desire build and rage for release.

When he moved his left hand to caress my breast on that side my eyes opened and I tensed immediately. Ranger felt the change in my body and moved at a snail's pace to kiss back up my chin to my mouth. "Babe, let me love all of you," he asked placing his hand back on the side of my chest.

"But, that's the one that's…" I couldn't finish the sentence, I didn't know how to. 'That's the breast that's broken, it's sick, it may need to be chopped off.' How did I explain the conflicting feelings of pleasure when he touched it versus the feelings of hatred I felt for the same spot because of the threat it was posing to my future.

A few tears slipped from my eyes as I debated how to explain that I wanted him, but I struggled to give him the part that I knew was sick.

"It's a part of you, Stephanie." He said before kissing over to my ear. Then his deep voice pressed the point by saying, "I don't just want the perfect parts, or the easy parts. I want every part. I told you I loved you no matter what and that includes this. It's a part of where you are right now and I won't let you hold back with me."

The tears fell in earnest as I'd never felt as accepted and truly loved as I did at this moment. "Shhh, Quierda, it's alright. It will be alright."

I moved my neck and he understood that I wanted to see him so he lifted his head and looked in my eyes. When I stared at the depths of his brown eyes my breath hitched at the sincerity I saw there. I knew that I felt that way about Ranger. I saw the scar on his neck where one of the bullets form Scrog had nearly taken him from me and I lifted my head to kiss it. I wanted him, scars and all. Why was it so hard to believe he felt the same for me?

I looked into his eyes once more and said only, "Gently."

Holding my gaze he lowered his mouth to my left breast and kissed the skin waiting for my response before touching it with his fingertips, rolling the nipple and teasing me. I was both receiving the pleasure he was giving and grieving the things that might come to the breast that he was so masterfully loving. Moving his mouth back to the right side it split my attention and eventually I stopped worrying about the future or my diagnosis and only thought of the sensation of his hands and mouth on me.

Finally it proved to be overwhelming and as the orgasm ripped through me I arched my back and said his name. He lifted his head to watch me and as I began to calm down he used his knees to open my legs more and positioned himself at my opening waiting for me to open my eyes before slowing moving to enter me. When he was fully in he stopped to say, "All you Steph, I love all of you."

I nodded and then touched the scar on his neck once more before saying, "I love all of you Ranger. When I spoke he pulled back and then reentered me again at a crawling pace.

When he touched my breast once more I turned my head away, placing my right cheek on the pillow. But he stilled his movement and said, "Don't hide from me, Babe. I don't know how to love only part of you. I need it all."

I swallowed and turned my head back to the center, opening my eyes and seeing the truth of his words. I then picked up my left hand and placed it on top of his on my breast. I wasn't trying to stop his progress; it was more that I was trying to participate in it.

"That's it, Babe." He encouraged, not allowing the weight of my hand to slow down his movements. His hips began to move once more and his hand ever so gently massaged and caressed all of me, allowing my hand to shadow his own.

It was an intimate and beautiful moment. Our bodies undulated together gaining pleasure where we were so deeply connected. Our hands, traveling in tandem, explored my body and occasionally skimmed his. But our hearts, they beat as one tearing down the walls we had used to protect ourselves and maintain distance. Fears, insecurities, and nagging doubts were washed away, leaving us both filled with the assurance that what we had was real and eternal.

When we came together there was no shout indicating an eruption. It was with deep breaths and arms pulling us tighter together trying to minimize the distance between my soul and his.

Totally spent, Ranger rolled off of me not letting me go so that I ended up virtually laying on his chest with our limbs all tangled together. I smiled as my eyes became heavy, eventually pulling me into darkness. Our position was a perfect representation of our relationship.

We were bare, holding tightly to each other, both giving and receiving pleasure and love. I knew the next few months would be trying at best but I also knew I would have Ranger beside me all the way. I had many reasons to fight this and win, but none greater than knowing my prize waiting at the end of the treatment was a lifetime of happiness with the man who held my heart as his own.


	13. The Power of a Good Pair of Shoes

_The characters are all from JE's world, I just moved them into mine to have more fun._

_Fredda (Rangergirl1234) you are a fantastic beta. I can't thank you enough for the time you've put into fixing my mistakes and smoothing out my words as the beta on this story._

**Chapter 13 – The Power of a Good Pair of Shoes**

_Tank's POV_

I hung up the phone on my desk a little harder than normal but it didn't seem to help, so I picked up the ball of rubber bands that Steph had left on my desk and threw it against the wall. It bounced off with a loud thud and made its way back to me to catch. I wasn't sure why she thought I needed this many multi colored rubber bands but I had to admit that throwing it did make me feel a little better.

Ranger let himself in and sat down in the chair opposite me. "Were you knocking on the wall for a reason or are you thinking of taking up handball?"

I raised an eyebrow, relaying the fact that his humor wasn't particularly funny right now. "I just got off the phone with my Uncle. He was yelling at me because he hasn't seen Steph since Wednesday and he's concerned that we're not taking care of her."

Ranger smiled, knowing full well how capable my Uncle was of jumping on somebody's ass about something. "She's eating, she's sleeping, she's working. There's not much more we can do," he replied as the smile left his face.

I picked up a pink message slip and smiled at the paper. Since Steph was now ordering supplies for the office I noticed that a few things we hadn't previously used were appearing. The rubber band balls were one, but the fact that all the big guys dressed in black were now writing down phone messages on pink pads took the cake. No body would dare complain to her about it despite how contrary it was to our instincts to pull down a little rectangle tablet that was such a feminine color.

"Masterson called and left a message on my voice mail. He said he's had two false alarms in as many months and he wants to talk to someone that knows what's going on. He also hinted that if we want to keep his account it might be nice to see someone too." I informed him.

"Think Steph could handle him?" Ranger asked, understanding exactly where I was going with this. Since her surgery she hadn't wanted to leave the building. The first three days back she stayed on seven and worked on her laptop. But Ranger finally decided she needed to get out so he picked her up and brought her downstairs for a few hours and then took her to Shorty's. While they were there Ranger got a call and had to step away so she spent two hours there just sitting in his kitchen and talking to my Uncle. After that, she'd been coming down and working in her office with the door mainly shut. We all knew she was still self conscious about her appearance but none of us really understood why.

The operation had been a success according to the surgeon. The two growths were removed and sent off with reports coming back proving he had gotten clean edges. While the one on the side of her breast went a little deeper than they'd hoped he was still able to get it all. Her oncologist wanted to wait a while to let her body heal from the surgery before beginning the radiology process of killing off the cells where the tumors had been. None of us could tell much difference in her RangeMan uniform. I tried looking one day when she was unpacking office supplies that had been delivered from Staples and I thought I could tell her left side wasn't as rounded as the right was but without crossing the line of what was proper I couldn't tell why she was so self conscious.

I realized Ranger was still waiting on an answer about Masterson and I said, "If anybody can calm that prick down it's her."

Ranger leaned over to my phone and hit her extension, asking if she could meet us in my office. A quick minute later there were three short knocks on the door and she walked in and sat down with her arms tight to her side.

Ranger pulled the message sheet from my hand and gave it to her. When she finished reading it she shrugged and said, "Do you want me to give him a call?"

"No," he replied calmly. "I think you need to pay him a visit. I want Hector to go to examine his equipment to be sure there isn't a technical malfunction causing his problem. Other than that he needs to be assured that we value his business and will do what it takes to make him a happy customer. I think he just needs to be schmoozed a little and you are our best bet at doing that."

Her forehead wrinkled a little like she was being asked to solve a complicated math problem. Finally she looked up at me and said, "Is there a reason why his alarms are going off?"

I knew we had her. "Yes, his building is on a street that has a lot of foot traffic at night and people are going by and rattling the door. He insisted on a sensor there that would go off if the contact was broken. They aren't getting the door completely open but they are moving it enough to set off the alarm. As long as that sensor is positioned where it is, then he's going to get false alarms."

"Alright, I'll go this afternoon," she said not sounding all that happy about it.

Ranger surprised me by saying, "Why don't you go earlier and catch him before his business gets crowded. Then you can stop by Shorty's and bring us back some lunch."

She shook her head as though she knew she was being played but said, "I'll run upstairs to change and go now, but I'm not promising about Shorty's."

I didn't know what else we could do. At least she was getting out. Ranger had other ideas. As soon as she shut the door leaving us alone once more he said, "Who's on the schedule for Bomber duty this morning?"

I picked it up and checked. "Cal, why?"

Ranger used my phone once more to buzz Cal. When the most prominent tattoo in RangeMan walked in Ranger pointed to the chair and he sat down. "You're taking Stephanie to a client this morning with Hector. When she's done I don't want you to bring her right back. I don't care what you have to do, but she needs to spend a little time out of the office. If you can get her to go to Shorty's that would be great, but anything would be acceptable."

Cal seemed uncertain. "Can I ask why you're trying to keep her out of the office?"

Ranger stared at him for a long moment before finally saying, "She been cooped up too long and I think she needs a change of scenery, but I haven't had any luck in getting her out."

"Got it," Cal said realizing if Ranger couldn't do it the chances of him being able to weren't all that great. Still, he was clearly thinking so I hoped he'd be able to come up with something.

_Stephanie's POV_

Shit, shit shit! Why did I let Ranger talk me into this? I know it's not a big deal. I can easily calm Mr. Masterson down but why do I have to go there in person to do it? I stood in the closet looking at my limited options that would convey a professional image while not being too form fitting to show off the changes in my figure.

I figured if I was going to dress up I might as well go all out so I pulled out the bag of special bras that Ella had purchased based on recommendations from Dr. M. They both said I didn't really need them but when I looked at myself in the mirror all I could see was the flat side of my left breast. I knew I shouldn't complain. I was being shallow and ignoring the fact that the surgery had been a success and the surgeon had been so careful that the scar wasn't too large and I still had plenty of definition in the portion of my breast that remained.

I only had to stay in the hospital overnight and when I went home I was suddenly hit with the realization I hadn't even looked at my chest since I woke up. Ranger had insisted I stay on seven with him so he could watch over me while I was recuperating and so we would have access to Bobby if we needed anything. I was more than glad to go back to his apartment. It was safe, came with Ella to provide food, and most importantly he was there, which was all I needed to be happy.

The first night back at Haywood I told Ranger I was going to change for bed and went into the bathroom, ready to see what the doctor had left me with. I unbuttoned the large shirt I was wearing and tossed it onto the floor. Then I unwound the ace bandage like wrap that went around my chest and swallowed hard at the gauze pads taped to my side and under my arm. I pulled the tape away slowly, trying to keep from pulling anything and feeling amazed at how tender it was just to lift my left arm. With the tape gone I peeled back the pad and sat it on the counter and then turned to better see the damage in the mirror. My breast looked bruised and the scar on the side ran into my arm pit with a string of tightly drawn stitches holding it closed. I was afraid to touch it so I just stood there changing the angle by small degrees to better assess the changes in my body.

It was definitely smaller but not by much. The biggest change was hidden by my arm but when I lifted them together I could see some definite differences in the lines where my arm met my body. Knowing they were there made it hard to see anything else so I stood there seeing only the gross incision and the hallowed out place on my side that was a dark blue.

Ranger found me standing there looking at myself and stepped in behind me to look in the mirror with me. I watched him look, trying to see any hint of disappointment or disgust in his eyes, but none came. He wasn't hiding behind his blank face because the love he held for me was written all over his face. With touches so soft I hardly felt them he touched the top of my left breast before sliding both hands around my waist and drawing me to him.

That night I slept on my right side, leaning against his side with his arms around me. I don't think either of us moved during the night. Every time I awoke he would rub my shoulder or back with his hand and whisper how much he loved me and would soothe me with phrases in Spanish I couldn't understand but yearned to hear anyway.

The next day he helped me get showered and dressed, urging me to go downstairs, but I couldn't do it. I convinced him I was tired so he left me to rest alone in the apartment. As soon as he walked out I went back into the bathroom and took my shirt off to look at my chest again. The bruising was much the same as the night before yet the puffiness around the stitches seemed better. When he came back an hour later I was still in the bathroom. I blushed when he caught me looking at my reflection but he once again stood behind me and gently touched my chest, this time smiling when he saw the improvement. He lovingly dressed me again and encouraged me to come downstairs, but I came up with excuse after excuse to stay hidden. I worked upstairs on the laptop to pass the time.

After three days of my self imposed exile Ranger was beginning to get worried. That morning after helping me get dressed he picked me up as though I would break and promptly carried me into the elevator. "What are you doing?" I demanded.

He didn't speak a word until we stepped out on the fifth floor and Lester announced, "Hot damn, Bomber's back!" All the guys came crowding around and Ranger whispered, "They missed you, and I think you might have missed them too." I tried to get mad at him for going caveman and dragging me down to work, but after seeing how happy the guys were I just couldn't work up much steam. After the initial welcome died down I went to my office, pushed the door shut, and worked until lunch when Ranger took me to Shorty's. He had an emergency with a client so he left me with Shorty who sat down on Ranger's stool as soon as he walked out.

I talked with Shorty and told him the doctor was pleased with the surgery but I felt different and was struggling not to think about it.

"Of course you feel different; you are different. Part of your body isn't there anymore. Especially because you are used to showing that part when you dress up, you're conscious about it looking different now." I was impressed at how bluntly he worded it but I agreed with everything he said. He even stepped back at one point and said "When you dress like that I can't tell a bit of difference." I took comfort in the fact that he didn't seem like the kind of man that would bullshit somebody. He'd call a spade a spade so I believed him. As long as I was in a baggy shirt I was probably okay. The trouble was I didn't own many baggy shirts because, let's face it, they don't do much for one's figure. So most of what was in my closet was form fitted, tight, and low cut.

Pulling my thoughts back to the present day, I looked at myself in the mirror and said, "You can do this," as a mini pep-talk. I pulled out a bra that was normal on the right side and on the left side it had a little pocket in it that I could insert a small foam form that would round out the breast to balance it. Dr. M said after I was done with all my treatment, if I still felt self conscious, we could discuss reconstruction of the breast or I could be fitted for a bra specially made for me. In the meantime this seemed like a good way to go. It wasn't too tight so it wasn't pressing on the small places that were still tender.

Once I felt confident the bra was right I put on an ivory camisole that dipped in the front but wasn't really low cut enough to show anything. In the back of the closet was a black pantsuit with a low cut neck that the lace on the camisole would provide coverage to make the suit a little more conservative. I still moved slowly when pulling things over my head but eventually I pulled myself together. The only thing left to find were shoes.

I found a pair of four inch heels from the back of the closet that I'd never seen before but loved from the moment I laid my hands on them. They were made from soft leather and had sharp points at the toe that would appear from under the wide cut pants of the suit when I walked. While they were solid black, there almost appeared to be a swirl pattern in the leather that made them more exciting than just a simple pair of black heels. I slipped them on and couldn't believe how comfortable they were. If it were possible to fall in love with a pair of shoes I'd done it. I figured with something like this on my feet I had to look good, so I glanced at myself in the mirror I was amazed at what I saw.

I looked like myself. It was like nothing had changed. In fact, with the special attention I'd given my hair and make-up, I actually looked damned good. Maybe Ranger was right to push me a little to get out of the office. Dressed like this in my magic shoes I felt like I could take on the world. I took the elevator down to five and when I walked past the cubicles Ram let out a loud whistle of appreciation. I couldn't help but put just a little extra swing in my step and when I passed by his seat I ran my hand over the top of his crew cut.

"Beautiful you are more than living up to your name," Les teased when I walked past his desk. I ran the ends of my fingernails over his bicep and winked at him with a smile. I tried to hold back my laugh when he nearly fell out of his chair.

I turned the corner and walked straight into Ranger's office. He was on the phone but when he looked up to see who had opened the door without knocking, I was on the receiving end of one of his killer smiles. He practically hung-up on whoever had been on the phone and slipped out of his chair and came to me with four long strides. "Babe," he whispered in his seductive voice that I hadn't heard since the night before my surgery. "You look amazing," he purred in my ear, pushing my hair back to kiss down the side of my neck. "What brought this on?" He asked, running his fingertips across the top of my camisole.

"I found some magic shoes in the closet," I told him lifting one so the pointed toe would appear. "When I slipped these on I felt more like myself." I knew he didn't understand but it made perfect sense to me. There had to be a reason I spent so much of my income on shoes.

"I know I told you to stop by Shorty's, but after seeing you I've changed my mind," he said returning his lips to my ear.

"And what is your new opinion?" I asked, enjoying his response.

"I want you to rush through the client visit and then hightail it back so that we can have lunch on seven." He moved his warm lips up to my ear and found the sensitive spot there that only he knew existed, causing me to shiver. "I can guarantee you the lunch will be hot and you'll be satisfied."

I was about to agree but someone else came in the office and when I heard, "Chica, you ready?" I knew Hector was standing there waiting on me.

Ranger growled at the interruption but I just smiled and replied, "Yea, I'll meet you down stairs in one minute."

Hector turned to leave and Ranger spoke up, "Make that five minutes"

Hector laughed and said, "Boss, she deserves more than five minutes. If you don't have more than that let her come now and then you can make up when we're done."

It was hard to fight with his logic so I stepped back, straightened my short jacket, and smiled at Ranger's dark eyes. "I'll call you when we're done."

I could feel his eyes on me as I walked out so I put the extra sway back in my hips to insure he liked the show.

Bobby was waiting to get on the elevator when Cal, Hector, and I stepped out in the garage. He smiled when he saw I was going somewhere, and then he did a double take after getting the full effect of me in my killer shoes. I did a little spin around and laughed when the elevator doors closed without him getting in.

As we got in the Explorer to head to Masterson's, I could have sworn I heard Bobby swear. I smiled not remembering the last time I'd had such a disruptive presence around the guys.

I talked to Hector on the way about the contact issue Tank had explained. "Is it possible that a different location on the door wouldn't be as sensitive?"

"Si, we'll look," he replied listening carefully. I could see him thinking through the issue so I didn't press him for any more details.

When we arrived at Masterson's jewelry store the guys stepped back and let me lead the way. When we walked in a short man in his late fifties or early sixties appeared from behind a jewelry case with one hand in the air near his shoulder and the other extended to shake my hand. "Welcome to Masterson's how can I help you?"

"My name is Stephanie Plum and I'm with RangeMan Security. I understand you've been having some frustrating alarm issues, so I've asked two of our experts to come take a look at your system to be sure there are no mechanical issues. While they are working I'd hoped you could tell me about your concerns." I smiled as brightly as I could and he seemed to melt immediately.

Leading me to a chair behind the register we sat across from one another and I let him get his complaining out of the way, making comments or asking questions here and there to let him know I understood. Using the skills Ranger had taught me I was careful to never apologize for the problem because I knew RangeMan hadn't done anything wrong. I just gave him a chance to vent and I could tell by the end he was feeling better. After half an hour Hector found us and said, "I moved the sensor, come see."

I walked slowly following Hector so that I could explain what I'd asked Hector to do in the truck, telling him the location near the door opening would allow small movements to set off the alarm even if the door were never really opened. Hector had moved it to the top in the center. In order for the contact to break the door would have to be opened at least three feet. Masterson seemed satisfied with the explanation and our solution, smiling and thanking me for coming out personally to take care of his account.

While Hector was packing up his tools I noticed a lovely charm bracelet on a shelf behind the horizontal display case. Watching my gaze Masterson picked it up and showed me how the charms were actually beads with designs or shapes engraved or carved into them. There was nothing dangling down like traditional charm bracelets. Some of the same beads had stones in them others were whimsical with seashells and others were more serious with religious carvings. I couldn't put my finger on it, but I loved it immediately and thought something like that would be fun to have to change out the charms to suit my mood or my outfit. Looking at the hefty price tag I promptly gave it back to him but in the back of my mind I wondered how many pairs of shoes I'd have to give up to purchase a bracelet like that. I looked down at the shoes I was wearing now and figured it wasn't worth it.

When we got back to the truck Cal turned around and said, "Angel, you were amazing with him. I've been on calls to his store before and he usually turns into a grumpy ass, but you had him smiling and thanking us for our time."

I was happy with how things had turned out and decided I might start going on a few more client calls now that I'd seen I could handle going out without any trouble. Glancing at my watch I saw it was quarter 'til twelve and I was feeling kind of hungry. "Hey guys, how about we celebrate our success with a little lunch at Shorty's. It'll be my treat."

Cal and Hector looked at each other and smiled. It almost seemed like they were communicating something more than just 'yea, I could eat,' but they didn't seem inclined to share so I let it go while twirling my ankle around, enjoying the way the shoes felt.

When Cal parked in the regular spaces of the lot it struck me as odd since I was used to only entering from the rear now. Deciding I probably shouldn't take the guys in the kitchen we went in the front door and sat in a booth with Hector and I on one side and Cal pretty much filling up the opposite bench. A waitress came over and took our drink orders, staring at me like she was trying to place my face. I brushed it off and asked for a coke.

In a minute the kitchen door swung open and Shorty appeared wiping his hands on his stained apron. He walked right over to our table and pointed at Hector and then to the bench next to Cal. Hector obediently moved so that Shorty could sit next to me. "You remembered how to get here, I see," he began with a smile.

"I went on a client call and it went well enough so I decided to take the guys out to lunch to celebrate." I pointed to my friends indicating I was buying lunch.

Shorty shook his head, "Your money's no good here." Then he looked at me for a minute and smiled, "You look good. Been eating?"

I had to laugh. It seemed strange to have someone asking if I'd remembered to eat. For most of my life my stomach insisted on it so I never had to think about it. I nodded and told him, "I've been sticking close to the office so I haven't had a chance to see you."

"Hiding?" He asked, guessing it on the first try.

"Yea, not ready for the stares and questions I guess," I admitted.

"Well then you're screwed today," he commented leaving me confused. "You look good enough every man in this joint is staring."

I glanced around and caught a few of the guys at the bar doing a quick look away trying to cover up the fact they had been looking at me. The thought made me smile. Maybe Ranger was right and I had been making a much bigger deal out of this than I needed to. "It's the shoes," I commented feeling the need to say something but unsure how to respond.

Shorty leaned back to see beneath the table. "You'll break your neck in those things." Then he stood up, probably ready to head into the kitchen. He bent over to kiss my head and added, "Next time wear those with a skirt. If the shoes make you feel good, then pair them with something that would show them off. Then the guys won't be able to take their eyes off your legs to even glance at anything else." Just before he hit the door he turned back and said, "No need to order I'll send your lunch out."

I leaned back in the booth laughing at Shorty's fashion advice. I caught Cal's eye and he didn't seem to be finding the humor in our conversation as I had. "What?" I asked as the waitress delivered me an individual cheese pizza and the guys a large one topped with everything imaginable.

"You were hiding in the office all this time because you thought people would stare at you from your surgery?" He asked sounded surprised.

Suddenly I didn't want to have this conversation so I just nodded at started to pick at my pizza.

"Angel, you are a beautiful woman and it has nothing to do with your body. You're just one of the lucky ones whose insides match the outside. Trust me none of us are trying to analyze you. If you catch us looking it's in appreciation. We're just good at doing it secretly because we know if we get caught Ranger will call us to the mats for drooling over his woman." With that sweet comment he proceeded to stuff half a slice of thick pizza in his mouth in one bite.

I knew this was one of those things that would get easier in time. As I got comfortable in my skin again it would be easier to believe them, but while every extension of my arm still provided a little tenderness I felt like I was constantly being reminded of the changes to my body so it was harder to ignore and move past.

We managed to find a little levity again during lunch and by the time Shorty came out to check on my plate I had finished all but one slice. He handed me a box and said, "Have this later."

I tried to raise an eyebrow at him questioning what was in the box but he just shook his head and walked away loudly telling the waitress to hold my bill and not let me pay.

By the time we walked out it was close to two o'clock. Hector turned on a CD in the truck and Cal turned it up loud enough to make me think my ears would be ringing by the time we got to the garage. Still, it was nice to have nothing to think about but the heavy beat of the bass and the drums.

When the elevator opened on five I hugged both the guys and thanked them for going with me and then went off in search of Ranger, holding the box from Shorty in my hands.

I listened at the door but only heard his fingers typing on his keyboard so I pushed the door open and walked on in.

I sat on the couch when he lifted up a finger obviously trying to finish a thought he was typing before he forgot it. I smiled at the thought of Ranger trying to write something down so he didn't forget like us mere mortals.

To pass the time doing something other than drooling over him I decided to open the box in my lap. Shorty had said later, but he hadn't specified how much later so now seemed as good a time as any.

I looked inside and saw something that resembled cobbler with a little juice that had bubbled up on top of a buttery cake like topping. I looked at Ranger who was still busy typing so I stuck my finger through the crust to the moist fruit baked under it and then licked the sweet syrup off. It was delicious so I picked off a piece of the crust and ate it, loving the crunch with the hint of berry. From the hole I'd created in the top I pushed my thumb and forefinger in and pulled out a small blueberry, popping it in my mouth before digging in and this time discovering what I thought was a raspberry. It was just as sweet as my last bite and I closed my eyes trying to remember when I had last enjoyed a fruit cobbler this much. I had no idea what he'd done to this, considering it had no chocolate or icing, but it was still one of the best desserts I'd ever had.

I was in my own little world, consuming my cobbler as though it were a finger food, not the least bit put off by the absence of ice cream. Finally I opened my eyes and looked up to see Ranger kneeling in front of me with his eyes pitch black. Apparently I'd not been very quiet in my dessert appreciation.

"What have you got there?" Ranger asked with a tilt of his head to the box.

I smiled and responded, "Nothing?" holding the box a little closer to my chest, not entirely sure I wanted him to know I had nearly polished off cobbler with my fingers. He grabbed my wrist and pulled it over to look at my fingertips, stained crimson from the juice of the berries.

He raised an eyebrow in a questioning way and then said, "Nothing?" I nodded that was the answer I was sticking with. He smiled and commented, "Babe, I believe the evidence is working against you. I've caught you red handed."

I looked at my red fingers and busted out laughing at the pun Ranger made. I'd heard him make jokes before but something in this one struck me as particularly funny and I had a hard time calming down. Once I finally caught my breath he leaned into me and asked, "Are you going to share?"

I looked between the dessert and the man I loved and had to really think about it. Deciding he probably wouldn't take it anyway I broke off a piece of crust and used it to dip up some juice and a raspberry, holding it out for him to see.

Not looking at my fingers but focusing solely on looking in my eyes he opened his lips and took the food into his mouth, holding my hand so I couldn't pull it away. He must have swallowed the food whole because he started sucking the remnants from my fingers getting every bit of stickiness off of me. Feeling his tongue on my fingers, sucking and licking, I moaned once more realizing if it would keep his mouth on me I'd gladly give him every bit of the cobbler left in my box as long as he'd eat it off of me.

Ranger raised an eyebrow making me wonder if I said that last part out loud. "Can I take it out of the box and put it where ever I want?" He asked, confirming my concern that I'd once again lost my editor.

I crossed my legs trying to squelch the tingling that had begun between them. Ranger's eyes went to my shoe, now visible peaking out from the bottom of my pants. "Let's go upstairs and get you out of this suit," he commented running his hand down my leg.

Just before we reached the door I felt his hot breath on my ear clarifying what was going to happen upstairs, "The suit comes off, but those shoes are definitely staying on."

I knew these were magic shoes.


	14. Taking a Break

_JE created these characters, she gets all the credit (and the money too!)_

_Fredda (Rangergirl1234) thank you for patiently working through each chapter as the beta on this story._

**Chapter 14 – Taking a Break**

_Stephanie's POV_

I couldn't sleep. There was no reason for it. I wasn't having troubling dreams, but my mind wouldn't settle. Ranger got called for a late night break in at a client's office and had to leave. My heart told me he'd be okay so I wasn't worried about him. Finally unable to handle just laying awake in bed I got up and went into the bathroom.

I had my last radiation treatment this morning and was glad to have it behind me. I had been a little more tired this week, but it wasn't overwhelming so I tried to just push through it, knowing worse days were probably ahead of me. I undid the sash on the plush white robe I'd slipped on and stood in front of the mirror to examine the changes in my chest.

I'd never spent as much time looking at my body as I had the last month. The side of my breast had two small dots that had been tattooed on by the radiologist to mark the position for the treatments. They were just small dark circles hardly more noticeable than a freckle. I ran my hands over them knowing I wouldn't feel a thing but unable to keep from trying. To someone seeing me for the first time they wouldn't ever register as significant, but when I looked at myself they were like huge beacons drawing my attention to the damage on this side of my body.

The skin on the side of my breast and under my arm was a little darker. It almost had a red tint to it as though I'd spent too much time in the sun without sunscreen. If I got the water in the shower too hot it felt like sunburn too. It looked like the side of my breast had shrunk in some. Dr. M had said it was possible since the radiation killed some of the healthy cells too, but that they would regenerate and the cancerous ones would not so any shrinkage from this treatment should reverse itself over time.

I heard the door open and then silence followed. Ranger was trying to keep from waking me. I knew the moment he saw the light in the bathroom was on because I could suddenly hear his footsteps on the floor. I had stopped trying to hide from him the fact that I was looking at my body in the mirror. Sometimes he would join me and we would look together and sometimes he would pull me away as though he thought it wasn't a good idea for me to stay focused on it.

He stopped at the sink and washed his hands but said nothing. Once he was satisfied they were clean he stepped behind me and looked at my chest. "You made it through the radiation, Babe. In a couple more months you'll be done with all the treatments and we can celebrate you beating this."

I loved that he kept such an optimistic outlook about the future. I tried not to dwell on the negative but I wasn't convinced I would be totally finished battling this in eight weeks. And even if I was I didn't know what kind of shape I'd be in after the treatments were done. I could see the changes in myself and wondered how much more haggard I would be after chemo.

Ranger moved me so that he could lean against the vanity blocking my view of the mirror and breaking the trance of staring at the reflection there. "Babe, one step at the time, one day at the time. Okay?"

Anytime I got overwhelmed that was his assurance to me. Just break this down into manageable chunks and get through that without worrying about what's next. I only had to face each day as it came.

I put my hands on his chest and leaned into him between his legs so that I could rest my head on his shoulder. "You didn't sign up for this," I said as a passing thought.

"Yes, I did," he disagreed. "I knew I loved you for a long time before I told you. When I said it to you I was signing up for the chance to be with you through whatever came our way. I wasn't just volunteering for the good stuff, I wanted it all and this is part of it."

I rolled my eyes but I didn't pick up my head to keep him from seeing my honest reaction.

"I felt that," he said busting me anyway. "What's going on, Babe?" He asked, realizing I was in a bit of a funk.

I kept my face on his shoulder and shrugged. Nothing was going on, I was just worried. There was no new reason for me to be worried; I just couldn't shake it tonight for some reason.

He held me for a moment before pulling back so that I would stand up. He gathered my robe where I'd let it fall open and tied it shut around my waist. The he took my hand firmly in his and led us through the bedroom where he grabbed the comforter from the bed and on the way out the door of the apartment he grabbed his keys from the dish on the table in the entranceway.

I didn't ask where we were going, figuring he would have told me if he wanted me to know. When he led us to the stairs instead of the elevator I knew we were headed to the roof. He unclipped his cell phone and hit a speed dial number before saying, "Cut the feed to the roof until further notice." He only hesitated a moment before saying, "Affirmative" and then hanging up.

Just as I thought, we were going to the roof. It was nice to know the radiation hadn't done anything to my brain cells. I hadn't been up here since I'd followed Lester a few weeks ago and heard the tragic story of how he lost his mother. Since I reappeared after my surgery he'd made it a point to go out of his way to see me everyday. He'd brought me bite size pieces of chocolate and one day he even brought me a huge mum that had been given a smiling face made out of felt. He said he'd seen it in the window of a florist and thought of me. All the guys had been great, but Lester had gone above and beyond to try and give me a reason to smile every day. I could so easily picture him doing the exact same things for his mother years ago.

When the door closed behind us Ranger dropped my hand and did something to the lock on our side. I didn't ask, for some reason it just didn't peak my interest enough to bring it up. Taking my hand once more we walked over to the picnic table Louis had put up here during the summer. He climbed up and sat on the top holding out his arms for me to sit in front of him and lean against his chest. Once I relaxed against him he unrolled the blanket and wrapped it around me. I had to admit it was cozy and the stars were out tonight with the moon sitting about half way up in the sky. It was hard to remember we were in the middle of a city when I was cocooned in Ranger's arms like this.

We sat in silence for what felt like a long time. Slowly I began to relax and just enjoy the feel of being surrounded by such loving arms. I let out a soft sigh and Ranger took that subtle sound as his cue and he gathered my hair in his hand, pushing it to the side to expose one side of my neck. Gently he brushed his lips across my neck placing lazy kisses in no apparent order. I shut my eyes and concentrated on the feel of it and let out a long breath.

Encouraged by my response, he rolled my head to the other side, shifting the hair back and duplicating his attention on the opposite side of my neck. My head rolled back on his shoulder and Ranger took my relaxation to another level by moving my torso down and cradling my head in the crook of his elbow. With his free hand he roamed my stomach, my arms, my hips…I no longer needed the blanket despite it being an October evening. Every place he touched was warmed and a heat began to blaze in places that were not yet fortunate enough to be caressed.

His hand passed over my stomach, undoing the belt on my robe and leaving me exposed to the night sky. Rubbing his palm over my belly button he then headed down and ran his fingers between my legs, taking a breath at how my body had already begun to respond to him. He eased a single finger in me and we both took a quick breath from the sensation. My eyes opened and focused on his, rich with desire for me.

Lifting a hand to stroke his face, I was acutely aware of the fact that he was still fully clothed. Using all the willpower I had, I forced myself to sit up interrupting the wonderful things his hands were capable of. But tonight at least, I didn't want his hands there. I needed to have a greater connection; I needed to be filled with him. Understanding my needs even without me speaking them he pulled the comforter off of us and stood me up to drape the blanket on the table top.

Taking me by the hips he lifted me to sit on the end of the table. Then he backed up a single step taking off his utility belt and sitting it aside gently before rushing through the removal of all his other clothes. The fact that I still had the robe on my shoulders made me the more clothed right now but since my body was completely exposed, with the belt undone and the front gapping open, I didn't bother to slip my arms out.

Ranger moved slowly to me as though rushing would scare me away. When our legs were touching he placed his warm hands on my legs and stroked them again leaving a wake of goose bumps behind. "Cold?" he asked, but a quick shake of my head made it clear that wasn't why I had shivered.

He placed his hands on my shoulders and guided me back to lie on the table with my legs hanging off the edge. He bent over and ran his fingers through my hair, arranging it around my head with such tenderness.

Ranger pulled my body down slightly so that my rear end was barely on the table and then he leaned down and kissed me with such tenderness I hardly knew how to respond. My heart was beating faster and my body was screaming to be touched, yet I didn't want to rush this moment either. Ranger traced my lips with his tongue and then kissed down my neck paying special attention to my collarbone.

The feeling of his body pressing against mine and the cool breeze touching my sensitive skin was quickly becoming more than I could stand. I made a sound that I hoped indicated I needed more and soon because trying to come up with those exact words at this moment wasn't with in my power.

Proving his ESP was alive and well he lifted both my calves and propped my feet up on the table in order to position a very impressive erection at my opening. His hand passed over my clit and I nearly screamed out just from a passing touch. I looked down and watched as he used his own hand to guide himself into me, slowly pushing his way into my oh so willing body.

Once his thighs were firmly pressed against my ass he stilled, taking some long deep breaths as though trying to get control of his own reaction to how wonderful it felt to be connected like this. His hands were on my hips keeping me in place and I put my fingers on top of his hands. Joined as one we stayed perfectly still looking into each other's eyes. In his I saw only love and understanding, unconditional support, and a desire to care for me. I hoped he could see my heart as well to know of the depths of my love for him and how I clung to him as my anchor when I felt like the storm I was in was tossing me about beyond my control.

Ranger moved his hand to rest over my heart and said only, "I know, Babe," before slowly moving within me beginning with torturous strokes designed to make me lose my mind. I found the ability to move and began to meet him stroke for stroke clenching my walls around him as though I could somehow pull him into my body.

With one hand on my chest and his other still griping my hip tightly, our bodies moved in concert with one another until I could no longer hold back. As if he had reached the end of his control as well his hand moved from my hip to the bundle of nerves between us and I screamed his name into the darkness. I felt the warmth of Ranger's release as his voice echoed above me, growling my name.

He moved his hands to rest on the table on either side of my ribs as though he needed help supporting his weight. I understood the feeling completely. I didn't have it within me to move at all at the moment so how he was managing to stay upright was a complete mystery.

After a few minutes he pulled out of me and the loss of the heat from our connection left me suddenly cold. Ranger pulled my robe together, tying the belt with a simple slip knot over my stomach. He lifted me effortlessly, proving once again how much stamina he had, and swept up the blanket as well.

"Do we have to go downstairs now?" I asked, wanting to be under the stars a little longer.

"Of course not, Quierda," he replied moving us instead to the wall beside the door. He sat on the rooftop and motioned for me to sit between his legs. I relaxed against him immediately and when he threw the blanket over us to hold our body heat in I sighed my complete contentment.

It felt sleep pulling at me and in Ranger's arms with the sounds of cars driving past the building below I gave in to the need for sleep.

_Tanks' POV_

I finished my workout without seeing the first sign of Ranger. It was odd that by 0630 he hadn't come downstairs yet. After I showered I went up to the control room and relieved Binkie a half hour early to search through all the camera angles to see if something happened. His car was still in the garage and his trackers showed him in the building, so I continued to look through each floor systematically. When I reached the roof I saw it had been turned off. I flipped it back on, irritated that we obviously hadn't been monitoring a vulnerable point of our own building. When the screen came to life, I saw Ranger leaning against the wall with Stephanie in his arms, both appearing to be asleep.

I looked at them for a moment until I realized they probably wouldn't appreciate having their privacy invaded like this. I was just glad to see the two peopled I cared most about obviously so happy together. The contrast of her light skin against his dark was beautiful. When I heard Vince enter the control room I realized it was 0700 so I flipped the roof switch and told him to leave it off until I called with further instructions and then went upstairs to wake up the lovebirds in order to protect their privacy.

I turned the handle of the roof and saw the door had been locked to block an interior exit so I used my key to get access to the top of building and quietly let myself out. I stood in the sun blocking it from Ranger's face and wasn't the least bit surprised when his eye bolted open without a single other muscle in his body moving.

Steph had an unmistakable glow about her and Ranger looked pretty smug too, so I had no doubts about what had happened up here last night. It was none of my business if they got their freak on in the moonlight but I didn't think he'd want the whole building to know so I said, "You need help getting her downstairs?" I knew he didn't but it was a nice way of suggesting they do their cuddling out of the public eye.

Instead he surprised me by saying, "She's not sleeping lately and when she finally relaxed up here this morning, I couldn't stand to wake her. What time is it?"

"0730. I told the new shift not to turn on the roof top camera until I specifically called with instructions." I told him.

"Thanks," he said which was a big acknowledgement for him. "She's holding up so well during the day, but the nights are getting harder."

It was then that I saw his eyes were a little strained too. There is nothing harder than to see someone you love suffering and not be able to do anything about it. This illness was beginning to take a toll on Ranger. He was worried about her and nothing was as frustrating to us tough guys as feeling helpless. We were trained to find solutions to problems and keep moving forward at all cost. But this was out of his hands. Nothing in the Rangers had trained us for fighting cancer.

I saw her begin to move and raised an eyebrow at Ranger wondering if I needed to disappear. He shook his head no and sure enough she settled down again. "Just a dream," he told me, proving how well he knew the woman in his arms.

"She's got an appointment with Dr. M at 10:00. I think we'll get the prescription for chemo and go over what to expect for the next few weeks. After we finish up there I want to get her out of the office for a while. I think she needs a change of scenery. Can you hold down the fort for the day?" He asked, giving me more details than usual. Normally he would just say he was going offline and leave it at that.

"I can handle it without you, it's her being gone that will be hard. The clients are beginning to ask for her directly with questions and concerns." I explained, marveling at how quickly she'd organized the office and gained the confidence of even our toughest clients.

Ranger looked down with unmasked pride on his face. Obviously he felt the same way about her contributions to RangeMan. She started to move once more and this time he nodded for me to leave. Without another word I let myself inside, silencing the door behind me.

I went back down to five and Lester was waiting outside my office. "When's Steph coming down?"

"She's got a doctor's appointment this morning; I guess she'll be in the garage about 0930. Why?" I asked, unsure why Santos wanted her calendar. "No reason, I just wanted to see her before I left to round up some skips since I was going to be out most of the day." Since Ranger explained how Lester lost his mother to cancer I'd seen the way he treated Steph had shifted. He was still the loud obnoxious playboy around us, but around her he was different. He brought her gifts; little pieces of chocolate or a single flower. One day he brought her a cartoon he'd torn out of the newspaper. I didn't know which was more surprising – that Lester would think to bring her these gifts or that he read the newspaper. Either way she smiled every time she saw him which was exactly the response he was going after.

He was still hanging around the office an hour later when I walked past his cubicle and my cell phone rang. "Yo," I answered already knowing who it was.

"You can resume monitoring the roof again," Ranger instructed.

"On it," I told him shutting my phone when I head the click telling me he was gone.

I turned around and walked back to the control room reaching over Vince to hit the switch for the roof top camera. He looked at me but when I offered no explanation he asked no questions. There were times when working with a bunch of guys was a relief. If it had been a girl sitting there she wouldn't have let it go until I told her why it had been off in the first place.

_Stephanie's POV_

I stepped out of the shower feeling much better than I had the last couple of days. I had a slight kink in my neck from sleeping with it bent to the side for so long, but other than that I felt like I'd really slept; something I hadn't been doing as much of lately.

After drying off and putting on some of the special moisturizer Dr. M suggested, I walked to the closet to pick out an outfit. Since I had announced that my change of attitude about going out last week had been brought on by magic shoes, I couldn't help but notice the presence of several new pairs of shoes in various designs and colors. To the side was a lovely pair of boots that definitely hadn't been in the closet yesterday morning. I knew this as a fact because had they been there I would have worn them because they were irresistible.

I picked them up and thought of things that were irresistible and my thoughts were drawn to last night on the roof. I knew my face was every possible shade of red but I still smiled at the picture we must have made. Thank goodness Ranger was always so in control to remember the cameras or someone on the late shift would have had a much easier time staying awake.

I didn't hear Ranger step in behind me but I felt his arms slip around my waist and the vibration in his chest on my back when he groaned. "You're going to wear those today?"

I looked at the boots in my hand once more. They had four inch heels and the soft leather would probably stop just above my knees. They appeared to have a little give to them so I knew they'd fit snug on my calves. The toes came to a point, but not in a witch shoe way, just in a kickass sexy woman way. Thank goodness I wasn't in fashion design. I didn't know any of the right words to describe things, but I knew Ranger would love these boots because I already did. I nodded that I was going to build my outfit around these boots and he groaned looking at his watch.

"Are we late?" I asked, unsure of why he was checking the time.

"No, but we don't have enough time for you to model them just for me so I was checking how long it would be before I could see them privately again," he explained.

He stepped away, grabbing his own clothes and leaving me in the closet alone to pull something together. Hanging with the dresses, above where the boots had been on the floor, was a skirt that I knew had been purchased specifically to show off these shoes. It was a faded black, almost suede looking material that fell mid-calf. It wasn't pencil tight but it wasn't exactly full either. Running up the right side on top of where my leg would be was a slit that began at the bottom and stopped mid-thigh. Every step would produce a glimpse of my boot clad leg, giving me a chance to show off the sexy footwear. I saw a white button up blouse next to it and assumed they were meant to be worn together. A silver chain belt hung on the hanger of the skirt and I could picture that around my waist, so I brought out all my new finds and began pulling the outfit together, excited to see how it turned out.

Zipping up the boots I was done, so I used my hands to smooth everything out and then walked over to the full length mirror to check out the overall effect. I only had time for a quick look, but I was very happy with the outfit.

When I stepped out of the bedroom Ranger's eye got wider and I was even more pleased with the combo I'd pulled together. "I'm going to give Ella a raise," he announced closing the distance between us.

I let him pull me to his chest and then asked, "Why is Ella buying me new clothes? It's like everyday there's something new in there waiting on me."

Ranger seemed uncertain if he wanted to answer my question but he confessed, "She wanted to know what she could do for you and I suggested you might like some new clothes and shoes since you hadn't been shopping in a while. When you seemed to come alive the day you found the black heels I told Ella and she just took off with it, determined to give you more magic shoes and clothes."

I thought that was the sweetest thing I'd ever heard. But then I thought about how soft and comfortable those shoes were and these boots too for that matter. They had to cost a fortune. Before I could complain about Ella spending so much money on me, he interrupted. "Relax, Babe. I gave her a RangeMan charge card and we're putting it in the budget as a uniform expense for you. I would imagine any client that saw you right now would gladly sign a contract extension just to get a glimpse of those boots peaking out through the split on that skirt." His hand caressed my thigh taking full advantage of the skirt's split.

He began to nuzzle my neck and just before I begged him for a repeat of last night he seemed to become aware of the time and pulled back, announcing we needed to go to make it to Dr. M's in time.

Reluctantly I let him lead me to the garage. When we stepped out of the elevator Lester was bouncing on the balls of his feet looking at his watch. His whole face lit up when I stepped toward him but as he watched me walk his boyish grin faded and was replaced by something more wolf like. Ranger must have seen it too because when Lester's eyes stayed focused on my legs I head him bark, "Santos!"

Les shook his head and pulled me to him for a quick hug. After our initial good morning greetings he pulled something from the pocket of his cargoes and handed it to me. It was a prescription bottle that was rather large and it had an official looking label that a quick glance showed me had my name printed on it.

I didn't even both trying to lift an eyebrow to ask about it. I just looked at him waiting for an explanation. He smiled as though he was very clever and explained, "I know you're supposed to get your chemo pills today and get all set up for that to start soon. I didn't want you to worry about it so I got you a little medicine to help if you started to get worked up over what was to come."

He pointed to the label and rolled it so I could read the information printed there more clearly. Aside from the pharmacy name and my contact information, the prescribing doctor's name was Dr. Love and the pills were called, 'happy pills'. The instructions told me to take two every morning followed by additional pills as need to maintain appropriate level of happiness. The refills were unlimited. I started to laugh at the jokes he had worked so hard on so he took the bottle from my hands and removed the childproof lid, pointing for me to look inside. They were little yellow pills, which I hadn't expected. "Lester, what are those?" I asked, concerned about the drugs he was trying to give me.

"Hold out your hand," he instructed so I did as requested and he poured out a couple in my palm, pointing to the little 'm' stamped on each one.

"These are yellow M&Ms?" I asked him. When he nodded I was right, I threw the whole handful in my mouth and then grabbed his head to hold it still and placed a kiss on his cheek. I could have sworn he blushed, which just made me love the little boy trapped in this grown body all the more. I used my thumb to wipe off the red lipstick from his cheek and took the bottle from his hand. "I'll put these to good use," I promised before thanking him and walking over to the Turbo where Ranger was waiting with his eyes narrowed trying to see every nuance of our interaction.

"Candy?" Ranger asked with a single raised eyebrow. I nodded, slipping the bottle into my purse. I was learning to be better prepared these days and one never knew when an emergency stash of chocolate was going to come in handy.

Amazingly when I checked in at the doctor's office, the receptionist said we could go on back because Dr. M was ready for me. I had never had that happen before so I followed the nurse back to the exam room indicated and smiled when I heard Bobby's voice talking with my oncologist. He had continued to come to each appointment for the sake of helping me get all the information I needed, but I knew he was really coming to visit with the good doctor too. I slowed down my steps and Ranger raised an eyebrow at me, asking if everything was alright.

I put up a finger indicating we should wait and stood just outside the door listening. Our timing was perfect because as we began to eavesdrop we heard Bobby ask her out for Saturday night. Dr. M didn't even hesitate before saying yes. It seemed that whatever little childhood crushes had existed as kids were growing into something more as reunited adults.

"Now," I whispered to a smiling Ranger. Just because I was sick didn't mean I couldn't help one of the guys with their love life. Ranger laughed at what I had assumed was my private thought but I now presumed was said aloud.

Dr. M reviewed my chart and then had me unbutton my shirt and remove my bra so she could do an exam. She looked at the skin closely and did a thorough breast exam on both sides moving her hands in little circles, feeling for any changes on either side. Then we talked about side effects other than the burned tissue on the top layer of skin. I admitted to being a little tired and we discussed the shrunken tissue- which she didn't think was as noticeable as I felt it was. I told her that was all but Ranger spoke up, which was strange. For the most part he sat quietly to the side during my visits here.

"She isn't sleeping well. Because she's tired, she goes to sleep easy enough but she'll wake up or sleep fitfully, so that it isn't restful. Is that from the radiation?" He asked.

I wanted to be angry at him discussing the trouble I had night, but he was right about how I'd been resting. Maybe there was a medical reason for it. I decided to hold off judgment until she replied so I'd know how to respond.

"Restlessness isn't exactly a side effect of radiation, but it is common among people being treated for cancer. You're probably so busy during the day, trying not to think about it, that when your mind is finally still at night it begins to worry and dwell on what's happening. It's perfectly normal. If it become too much of a problem I can give you some sleeping pills that would help, but I'd prefer to hold off unless it's a real problem and the lack of rest is making it hard for you to function during the day. Beginning next week there will be new medications in your body and I don't want to overwhelm your system with too many chemicals." She explained.

So it was normal, but in essence I was doing this to myself – great.

Before I could get too far gone into my own little world she began talking to me about the chemo process. I'd be taking a pill every Sunday night and coming in the office for infusions on Tuesday and Thursday mornings followed by another pill on Friday night. She warned that the effects of chemo are often slow building. I may not feel anything at first and then gradually I might begin to feel exhausted or find eating to be a chore. A small percentage of patients begin getting side effects from the first dose, but that was very unusual. I tried not to roll my eyes at her announcement of something being usual because in my life that only made it more likely because of my luck.

She gave me a set of pamphlets on what to expect and coping tips and I couldn't help but notice when she gave an identical set to Bobby her hands clasped around his briefly.

She wanted me to go to the lab for some blood work, reminding me this would be a weekly thing from now on. Fortunately Bobby told her he could do the draws at RangeMan and send the vials to the hospital. Apparently he had a relationship with the pathology department there and they had a system for receiving work from our office. I was sure that system also included a hefty bonus for privacy and rushed results. Still I was glad when Dr. M agreed that was fine handing him the slip for the pathology tests necessary and telling him I needed to have it done before I took the first pill on Sunday and then weekly after that point. I was comfortable with Bobby sticking me with a needle because he always did it so gently and he talked to keep me distracted so that it was over before I could get too worked up.

We talked for a few more minutes before saying goodbye with an appointment card for Tuesday at 10:00. Whether I was ready for it or not, it was time to move onto the hard part.

When we got to the parking lot Bobby gave me a hug, assured me he'd read over everything, and made me promise to call him if I had any concerns or questions. He also slipped the prescription from my fingers saying he'd get it filled on the way back and would have it ready for me on Sunday night and we could touch base sometime that day too about the blood work. Personally, I liked Lester's prescription better, but I knew I needed this one too so I thanked him for taking care of it for me.

We got in the Turbo and I took a deep breath wondering how Ranger got the new car and luscious leather smell to stay in this car all the time. "Where to?" he asked, interrupting my air freshener monologue.

I guessed I would be working today so told him back to the office to see who needed a call. But I was surprised when he didn't put it into gear right away.

"Can I make a suggestion?" He asked.

I nodded yes and he continued, "Let's take today off. Hell, let's take a couple days off and just do something alone. Let's go down to the beach and spend a few days in my house there…"

I interrupted him immediately without even apologizing for my poor manners. "Wait! You have a house on the beach?"

He looked down, showing the good sense to be slightly embarrassed for not giving that little detail to me sooner. "I have a house at the beach. I bought it for a safe house a few years ago, but I've never used it for that purpose. Mainly I go there when I'm returning from rough missions to relax and get back in touch with my humanity. I guess I use it as my own personal safe house."

Hearing him freely give up so much personal information at once was a rare treat. "We don't have any bags," I said trying to subtly point out that we'd need to at least pick up some clothes from Haywood before going.

He grinned once more and I could see traces of the little boy he once was. I could only imagine how impossible it must have been for his mother to stay mad at him if he flashed her that smile. "Actually, I have some clothes there for us both already, and the bathroom is fully stocked."

"Were you planning this little get away?" I wondered.

"No, it's all been there for a couple of years in case I ever needed a place to take you for us to escape," he offered. Now I was completely curious and definitely wanted to go.

"Alright," I agreed allowing him to at least put the car in first gear. As we moved out of the parking lot I decided to throw him a bit of a curve and added, "Can we call in an order to Shorty's to pick up for lunch on the way? Maybe he'll give us some more of that cobbler. I'll bet it would taste great…" I paused slightly to let his mind run back to the last time he ate Shorty's dessert off my finger, my palm, and much later that night, off of…I interrupted my own memory to finish teasing him, "I'll bet it would taste great at the beach."

He gunned the accelerator, handed me his cell phone to place the order, and growled all without taking his eyes from the road. Yea, I think a couple of days away would do us both some good. Besides, if I was going to begin getting sick from the chemo I needed a few days worth of time away with Ranger to tide me over.


	15. Connected

_All the credit for the characters below belongs to JE._

_Fredda (Rangergirl1234) all the credit for the readability and clarity of thought belongs to you as the beta. Thanks for your hard work._

**Chapter 15 – Connected**

_Stephanie's POV_

Ranger looked at his watch and I resisted the urge to hit his hand for reminding me that there was a reality outside of this house. "We don't have to leave," he said for the third time in as many hours. "I can call Bobby and have him come down to do the lab work and bring your medicine. It would give us a couple more days here."

"Tempting," I replied honestly before completing my answer, "but no. This time has been exactly what I needed, but it's time to face the real world."

As I let out a long breath he said, "How about fifteen more minutes and we'll leave then?" Offering me one more reason to add to my list of why I considered Ranger the perfect man.

I nodded and thought back over the weekend. Nothing major had happened, yet my life was forever changed. From the moment I walked in the front door on Friday, I loved this house. I expected a monstrosity with opulence at every turn. In reality, the house was fairly good sized with four bedrooms and three baths, but it wasn't overwhelming. It was nicely furnished, but I wasn't afraid to relax for fear of ruining anything either. I knew from the first sniff this was Ranger's real home. He claimed to not spend much time here, but it smelled of him and just walking in made me relax and surrounded me with a feeling of safety.

He had a few framed pictures, snapshots mostly, that gave me glimpses of what made him into the man he is today. I was drawn straight to the back of the house which was made almost entirely of glass. Sliding doors and windows with very few panes gave way to the most breathtaking view of the ocean I'd ever seen. I was standing there taking it in when Ranger's arms came around me, pulling me to his chest and holding me there. "Do you watch a lot of television here?" I asked.

He pushed my hair away from my neck to plant some well placed kisses, "No, maybe a couple of movies a year, but I'm not really a fan of TV. You know that, why do you ask?"

"Because this room is set up with the flat screen as the center. With a view like this, I'd think you would have the couch facing this way so you can sit and watch the ocean. At least that's what I would do," I said while admitting interior design wasn't really one of my strong suits.

At first I thought I'd offended him when his arms disappeared, leaving me standing there alone but when I turned around I noticed he was moving the couch to the exact place I would have put it. "What else?" He asked with a curious look on his face. He wasn't offended; he just wanted me to be comfortable.

I looked around and pointed to an end table, "That looks strange by itself with the sofa here, so it should probably come over too." No sooner had I said it than he single handedly lifted the solid wood end table and positioned it in the perfect place.

I made a few more suggestions and thirty minutes later we had completely rearranged his living room but I had to admit I liked the flow of it much better. He sat on the couch and held his hands out for me to join him. As soon as I sat down I felt myself being pulled closer to his side. "You're right," he admitted, "this is much better."

For once in my life I didn't feel like I was being complimented just to get in my pants. The room worked now, and I knew he was sincere in his praise. The other benefit of the view was that sitting side by side with something so worthy to look at as the ocean, we spent literally hours talking every day. He answered every question I asked from simple ones like his favorite color (dark blue) and more personal ones like his first sexual encounter (I should have know it would begin with 'I was fourteen' and end with a smug smile). Of course playing truth games with Ranger meant I had to reciprocate, which was a little embarrassing, but still comfortable.

Every shared story felt like it was bringing us closer and by the time we went to bed, I already felt as though we'd made love. I'd never felt as close to someone before as I did to him and when our bodies found each other during the night, the connection between our hearts took the physical to an all new level. It was all I could do to keep from blacking out and for once I felt like he was just barely hanging on too. At least I think that's what he meant by, "Holy shit, Babe. I didn't know that it could…" from there he went into Spanish so I was clueless what it meant, but my heart told me it was all good.

After sleeping for ten hours straight the first night, I awoke to find myself in his arms and I was tempted to just stay there but he lured me out of the warm bed with a promise of a walk on the beach. We bundled up and walked hand in hand at a slow pace, picking up with our honest questions from the night before. By the time we got back to the house it was time for lunch and I was actually hungry. I said it was the exercise but the slight eye roll Ranger gave me told me he didn't agree. Of course the slow pace we walked meant we had probably only gone a mile or so, despite it taking two hours. So he was probably right, but there was no way I was going to admit to that.

I let him talk me into a three hour nap after lunch and then we worked on dinner together. My part was to sit on the kitchen cabinet and sip on a bottle of water watching while he worked on the food as though he were a professional chef. Since the meal was simply delicious I have to assume I did my job well.

After cleaning up we assumed our positions on the couch, watching the moon rise over the water and the stars begin to light the black sky. I knew I was getting sleepy but I didn't want to break the spell of this day so I tried to keep talking. Of course the next thing I knew it was morning and I was in Ranger's strong arms once more having rested long and well.

I knew we had to leave today but Ranger pushed that thought away by offering to make us pancakes; an offer I was more than happy to take him up on. We made love again before getting out of bed, leaving me concerned that my legs might not be able to carry me down to the kitchen after all. Ranger threw his shirt from the night before over my head and carried me down showing off his stamina. I would have called him on it, but it felt so good to be carried like a princess that I didn't want to break the spell.

When he finished eating I was still working on my fourth pancake and refused to stop until it was all gone. Ranger stretched out his legs and turned his chair to better see me. "You like it here." It was both observation and question at the same time.

"I've always loved the beach," I tried explaining, "But this was like taking everything I would think to put on a list of my most wanted experiences and cramming it into one weekend."

"Why?" He asked trying to understand. "We haven't done anything special."

I washed down the last bite with a huge gulp of cold milk and then replied, "No, we haven't gone anywhere unusual, but what we've done has definitely been special. This is the weekend I'll always remember as being when you let me in. I've never felt this close to someone before. I don't know how to explain it except to say that things are different now and it doesn't get any more special than that."

He gave me one of his full-on grins and I felt the heat between my legs begin to pool. At the same time I felt my chest get tighter because I saw in his eyes that he felt the same way. Until the end of my life I knew we would be together. If this illness made my time on earth short, I was determined to pack as much in as possible. And if I was lucky enough to beat this, then I now had a true confidence that all our years together would be filled with joy.

Ranger leaned forward unexpectedly and tucked a curl back in its proper place before saying, "You know we don't have to leave. If you're happy here we could stay, or we could move down here for a while. You seem so much better here. I don't want to see this spark go away when we get back to Trenton."

I shook my head understanding what he meant, "It won't. I think we needed this time to build 'us' a little, so going back home isn't going to take that away. But now I know where I'm going to want to come the next time I need a break."

He laughed, "You know there are a lot of places in the world more impressive than this. I'd gladly take you to see any of them."

"I know," I acknowledged. "But for right now this is my own personal paradise and I don't need anything else."

"Remember how you used to ask about the Batcave?" He asked, teasing me for my reference to his home. I nodded and blushed slightly at how forward I had been in trying to find out where he lived when he wasn't staying on seven. "I always considered my apartment to be the closest thing I had to that because it's where I spent most of my time when I was in Trenton. But after spending time here with you, this feels like home to me."

I reached out and put my hand over his heart knowing exactly what he meant. For once in my life I felt like I had a home too.

Of course as the day drew to a close, leaving became much more difficult than I thought it would be. I knew my words earlier had been true and geography wouldn't make a difference in how I felt. The time away, with just the two of us, gave me a chance to really get to know him. And of course the more I knew about him, the more I loved him. It also helped me to get a little perspective and I felt refreshed and ready to face chemo.

Ranger's watch alarm went off, breaking the spell of my memories from the last two days. "You sure?" He asked one final time.

"I'm sure," I said standing up to prove I was ready to go back. Well, maybe not ready, but at least willing.

The ride to Haywood seemed to take less time than the trip down and before I knew it we were turning into the garage. We hadn't spoken much on the trip home, just exchanging an occasional touch, but I still felt like the uninterrupted time in his presence had been very intimate.

Ranger called Bobby to let him know we were back and before we could sit in the living room of the apartment, our favorite medic was knocking on the door. He had a strange expression on his face when he came over to me but it seemed to disappear the second he looked at my face. It's like he expected me to be a basket case and was relieved to see me sitting here, completely normal and very happy.

"I'm sorry to have to do this to you, but I've got to get some blood," Bobby said kneeling in front of me. I sat up straighter, offering him my left arm and he set about getting his gear out. I decided to distract myself by asking how his date had been on Saturday night.

I had to bite the inside of my cheek to keep from laughing when the rubber band he was supposed to use to tie around my bicep to help restrict the flow of blood and make finding a vein easier flew out of his hand and landed on the floor. Obviously he didn't know I was aware he was seeing my doctor. I touched his cheek and said, "Relax Bobby, I think you two are wonderful together. I just need to know if I should put in a good word for you when I see her on Tuesday."

He got back to work and gave me a few details of his date while getting the required sample. After he was done he held out his hand with a bottle from the pharmacy. I knew what was in it and I struggled to make my hand reach out for it.

"I've been doing some research," Bobby explained seeing the change in my demeanor. "You most likely won't have any side effects right away so you don't need to worry about it tonight- maybe not even this week. And the best news is that because you have thick, naturally curly hair your chances of losing it are much lower. You might thin a little, but most people with hair like yours get to keep it."

I smiled at that thought. "Nice to know it's good for something," I commented dryly.

Then he broke eye contact, which was a huge clue that something was going on. "What is it?" I asked, trying to help him spill whatever it was he didn't want to tell me.

"Your mom called this afternoon and talked to Tank. She had some questions about your treatment and Tank asked me to talk to her, so I gave her most of the answers. She sounded really worried. Normally I wouldn't tell people your business like that, but Tank said it was alright," he confessed clearly unsure if he had done the right thing.

I put my hand on his to reassure him all was well. "It's fine. We've been talking a lot more lately, but I've been keeping my distance physically. I don't know why. I know it's probably made her think things are worse than they really are, so I'm sure it was a real comfort to get the truth from someone else. Besides, it's saved me from having to explain it to her."

He relaxed and nodded before asking if I wanted a bottle of water to take the pill with. I was about to say yes just to get it over with but one materialized in Ranger's hand before I could speak. I smiled at him and took it so I could ingest the poison designed to cure me.

Bobby excused himself and Ranger walked him to the door doing some weird fist bump hand shake I'd never seen them do before. Then he turned around and walked to me with a strange expression on his face. It was mixture of his bedroom face and the expression of pride he would sometimes get when I'd done something well. I'd never seen the two combined in this way and I wondered what it meant.

He knelt in front of me and took both my hands in his. "I'm proud of you, Babe." He began, letting me know I got at least part of his expression right. When I asked why, he told me, "Because you didn't want to take that medicine but you knew you had to. So you dug down and found the courage to do it, refusing to give into worry about what would happen or fear about how you would feel. You fought off your first reaction in order to draw on your strength to do what had to be done."

Wow, he got a lot just from me taking a single pill. It wasn't even a horse pill, just a little caplet. He leaned forward letting his tongue find the shell of my ear and doing that little thing there that made me want to tear off my own clothes just to move this along a bit. "Did I ever tell you how sexy it is when your strong side is that visible?" He whispered.

I shook my head no. "It's damn sexy and if you don't mind pushing dinner for later, I'd like to show you right now just what effect it had on me."

I locked my arms around his neck, allowing him to lift me from the couch and take me to the bedroom. Thankfully, we'd eaten well over the weekend because the next conscious thought I had was that there was sunshine streaming in through the windows.

I woke up slowly and saw a rose with a note tied to it on Ranger's pillow. I sniffed the rose and sat it aside so that I could try and make my eyes focus on the note. "You were beautiful sleeping this morning so I tried not to disturb you. Come see me on five when you're ready to begin your day. I love you, ~R."

The 'I love you' at the end put a smile on my face that stayed there through my shower and breakfast in my robe. I finally went into the closet, wondering what new goodies might be waiting for me. I saw several new things that told me Ella had been shopping while I was relaxing with Ranger at the beach. I pulled out a pair of black low rider jeans and a scoop neck t-shirt that wasn't as low as most of the one's I'd previously worn. It was fitted so I used the special bra with the built in pocket for an insert to shape the left side of my chest into a mirror image of the right side.

When I was done I found a nice pair of boots with a slightly lower heel than the one's I'd worn to the doctor's office on Friday and slipped them on, liking the little sexy kick they added to my step. My hair wasn't too wild so I left it free and only put on some cherry lip gloss and two layers of mascara before deciding I was ready to handle whatever was thrown at me today.

Ranger was in his office so I walked right in and then noticed Tank was sitting in a guest chair across from the desk. "Hey big guy," I said as a greeting as I walked straight over to Ranger's side and plopped myself in his lap. Clearly he hadn't expected such a display, especially in front of Tank, because he almost jumped. But his arms came around me in a possessive and sexy way, letting me know it was a welcome surprise.

Ranger positioned his lips right over my ear and whispered, "Do you remember how I told you last night that seeing you do something drawing on your inner strength was a turn-on?" He asked. I nodded that I remembered and he continued, "This kind of greeting where you are so happy and self assured is sexy as hell too," he continued before nipping at my ear lobe.

Tank must have sensed where this was going. It might have been his ESP with Ranger from years of working together, but more likely it was the tomato red blush that had crept into my cheeks from Ranger's forward comments. Whatever the reason, Tank stood up and excused himself. Just before he left the office Ranger said, "You can lock that door before you close it." There was no response but I saw Tank fiddle with the knob and then pull the door closed in a decisive fashion, telling me we were secure and alone.

It was almost lunch time before I was able to stand up and walk to my office to begin payroll. I was sure the glow I was sporting made me a walking billboard for Ranger's abilities to please a woman and for the first time in my life I didn't give a shit about what someone else thought. Either I was getting more mature since Ranger and I had admitted how we felt for each other or having so many intense orgasms had short circuited my sense of decency. Either way, I was just glad to have a job that allowed me to sit down and be quiet. I was pretty sure I was losing my voice.

_Tanks' POV_

I was so glad to see Steph walk into Ranger's office this morning. I'd missed seeing her over the weekend and had been worried about her state of mind when Ranger took her away. Knowing she hadn't been sleeping well added on top of the stress of the treatments and the illness could push her into a depression that would be hard to pull back out of. While I had full faith in Ranger's ability to watch over her, I didn't like the idea of her being gone from those of us who cared for her while she was so fragile. But the way that she looked when she strutted into the office, smiling a hello in my direction before planting her round and well framed ass in Ranger's lap, made me forget myself briefly and have to cross my legs to adjust the pressure building down there.

Damn, there was nothing sexier than a confident woman. And when Steph was feeling it she could put off a vibe that would draw men to her like moths to a flame. The way she looked this morning and her attitude of relaxed joy told me whatever she and Ranger had done over the weekend was definitely the right thing.

Ranger whispered in her ear and the blush that colored her face as a result told me I was no longer needed. I stood up silently but before I could leave Ranger told me to lock the door. I shook my head at the effect Steph was having on my friend. The man with limitless amounts of self-control was about to have a hot brunch in his office with most all the guys on the floor well within hearing distance based on the thin nature of the walls here.

An hour and a half later I wondered how Steph could have any voice left. I knew Ranger had spent plenty of time with women, rarely the same one twice. Apparently the lack of repeat appearances had nothing to do with his skills because I was concerned Stephanie would never walk again based on her satisfied wails and her demands for more.

I remembered one night on a late stake out a few of us were shooting the shit trying to stay awake and were talking junk over the com units. Santos asked if we thought blind guys could get into porn. Most of us laughed and called him a deviant without answering his question. After listening to Stephanie for the last ninety minutes I could attest to the fact that the sounds without the visual were every bit as effective. When I stepped out to canvas the floor I realized hardly no one was at their desk. The three that were there all had earphones on.

I pulled up the feed to the gym and laughed my ass off at the number of guys trying to work off the sounds they'd just been subjected to. The three sparing rings were full, all four of the punching bags were in use, the weight benches were all taken, and the other five guys were running on treadmills like their lives depended on it.

I went back to my desk and shut the door, hoping to come up with a way to get rid of the pole between my legs before Ranger came in, relaxed and ready to head out to round up a couple of skips.

Close to lunch time my door opened and a very satisfied looking Ranger walked in. "Shit man, you realize every guy here knows what you and Steph were doing, right?"

The smile dropped off his face immediately and he rubbed his eyes with his thumb and forefinger. "I've spend years intimidating the guys into understanding my life is private and none of their concern and Steph walks in swinging her ass and sitting in my lap and I totally forget myself. What's wrong with me?"

I laughed out loud, unable to help it. I could never remember hearing him talking like this about a woman. "I think the term is pussy whipped, but I could be wrong," I teased.

"You are wrong," he bit out with no hint of humor in his voice. "It's got nothing to do with that. It's more…it's so much more." I would have teased him because the sounds that had been coming out of his office put the evidence more on my side, but the sincerity of his words and his change of demeanor told me he was right. There was a connection between those two that none of us understood and now that they were acting on it and giving a relationship a try I knew it had to be intense.

Feeling the need to break the tension I asked, "You ready to head out and catch some bad guys?"

He put his hands on the arm rests of the chair he was sitting in and then laughed. I raised an eyebrow, wondering what could possibly be funny right now. "If you tell anybody this, I'll deny it, but I'm actually feeling tired."

I stood up and then doubled over laughing, "I never thought I'd see the day when a little white girl from the Burg would make the mighty Manoso admit to feeling drained."

I was relieved to see him standing there with a grin on his face. I also never thought I'd see the day when the man who was occasionally more machine than human would be standing in front of me happy and relaxed. I slapped a hand on his back as I walked past and said, "Good for you, man, good for you."

Silently, I hoped the skips didn't try to run. I had a feeling I'd be on my own today to catch up with them. Ranger's legs still weren't under him completely.

We got the first skip within thirty seconds of knocking on the door. I looked at Ranger after we picked up the receipt from the station and asked, "Man, you still aren't right. Should we try getting some lunch before trying to get the next one."

He nodded without speaking and since he didn't specify a spot I took us to Shorty's, parking at the front so we could sit at a table. It felt strange to go to the kitchen without Stephanie with me now. We were halfway through our lunch before my Uncle came out and pulled a chair over to sit at the end of our table.

"You missing somebody?" He asked, alluding to Steph's obvious absence. "Is she alright?" He followed up when neither of us really answered his initial question.

Ranger smiled, "Yea, she's fine." I'd never seen him like this. In some respects it was funny to see him so out of it over a girl, but I was a little worried that he might have trouble getting his focus right if a skip gave us trouble later today.

I decided to clarify Ranger's general compliment of his woman by saying, "He took Steph to the beach for a weekend away and the time did her a lot of good. She started her chemo last night and has to go back to the doctor tomorrow for an IV of it. But she's in a good place right now."

Shorty put his hand on Ranger's shoulder as he stood up. "You take care of her," he commanded in a tone that made us both sit up straighter. "But don't keep these other clowns from helping too. She needs to know she's surrounded by people that care for her and you are going to need a break at some point." There was no denying his words were true, but I hated to think about what it would mean if Ranger ever needed a break from caring for Stephanie. The thought of her being so sick and needing so much care that it would be overwhelming to him turned my lunch to lead in my stomach. One look at the somber expression on my boss' face told me he felt the same way.

We didn't have any trouble getting the skip in the afternoon. If anything, I had to pull Ranger off of him so that we could still take him to the station instead of to the hospital. I should have known Ranger's focus would be there when he needed it. Apparently Stephanie was the only person that could break down his machine exterior. The possibility of her not being around was enough to build it stronger than I'd ever seen it.

When we got back to Haywood he took the stairs two at a time to the fifth floor. Her office was empty so he jogged to the control room, barely containing his panic at her absence. Cal saw him coming and had already gotten a location for him. "Boss, she's on seven. She was in her office until five minutes ago and came in to tell us she was feeling worn out and needed to get a little rest before dinner."

"Thanks," Ranger said dashing back to the stairs to get to his woman that much quicker.

As the door banged shut behind him Cal turned to me and asked, "Did Ranger just say thanks?"

I nodded, understanding how telling it was that Ranger was thanking people for doing what he would normally consider to be their job.

I stood there for a minute waiting to see if Cal was going to make a comment about Steph and Ranger's morning activities. It was one thing for me to pick on Ranger about it to his face, but I knew he wouldn't appreciate the guys commenting on it behind his back. When Cal asked "Is he okay?" I knew he understood the look on Ranger's face.

"He will be when he sees her," I assured him. From the moment I first suspected something serious was wrong with Stephanie I worried about the effect it would have on the guys if she was taken away from us. It was no secret how we felt about her and how her presence made us all better versions of ourselves. But seeing the changes in Ranger today, I had to admit the bigger danger might be the effect it would have on our boss. He was our leader and something told me the connection they had now would leave him lost and closed off if she was taken from him.

I walked back to my office to write up the capture reports on our skips and said under my breath, "You've got to fight Little Girl, we all need you." From my lips to God's ears, I prayed.


	16. Spreading the News

_None of the characters are mine, unfortunately._

_Fredda (Rangergirl1234) thank you for looking over every chapter as the beta on this story. _

**Chapter 16 – Spreading the News**

_Stephanie's POV_

Now that I was here for my second chemo treatment in Dr. M's infusion side of the office I realized it seemed a little unnecessary to have Bobby and Ranger flanking me. I'd survived the pill over the weekend and the first IV on Tuesday and knew what to expect so having an entourage felt a little over the top. When the nurse called me back they both stood and followed me. I stretched out in the reclining chair, knowing I would be here for about forty five minutes while the bag emptied into my arm. I had counted myself lucky so far that I hadn't really felt like I was suffering any side effects from the treatment. It was early and I had found it necessary to take a nap everyday since Ranger took me to the beach for our little get away but that might be just as much about our inability to keep our hands off each other as it was about the medication being forced into my body.

The nurse prepping my arm wasn't one I had met yet but I figured anybody working here was probably very capable so I wasn't worried. She warned me, "Just a little pinch now," so I turned and focused on Ranger's face, knowing the uncomfortable part would only last a second or two until she found a vein and we got the drip started. But this time something was different; it felt like she was drilling for oil. I looked down at what she was doing and knew that was a mistake because the visual of the gloved hand holding my arm down at the tender juncture of my elbow made me feel light headed. Another move of the needle and I squeezed my eyes shut trying to think about anything else.

I was vaguely aware of someone growling and opened my eyes quickly in the hope of calming Ranger down. The look on Ranger's face told me he was concerned but he wasn't the one making a scene. I turned my head back to the other side just in time to see Bobby put his hands on the nurse's shoulder none too lightly and tell her, "If you don't know how to do this you can't practice on this patient." She seemed to be at a loss about what to do so Bobby barked once more, "Move," and sat down on the stool where she had been. I could tell she wanted to object but was afraid to stand up to the large man dressed in all black.

Magically the tension that had been emanating from him when he was barking at the nurse completely left when he sat beside me and took my hand. "I'll get you squared away in no time," he promised. Then he expertly pulled the needle back and guided it to the right spot without making it feel like my arm was going to be bruised for weeks to come.

Satisfied it was right, he stood up and pointed to the nurse. "Now you can finish." He stepped aside but stood behind her, carefully monitoring her every move. The poor girl had shaking hands by the time she finally announced it was all set up and flowing.

I shut my eyes trying to slip into my own version of a zone while I was getting my medication and thought about the fact that I had been avoiding most of the Burg since I told my parents the night before my surgery. I probably owed a few people an explanation for my absence. I'd spoken to Connie and Lula a few times just telling them I had things going on that kept me from chasing skips and once Ranger gave me an official position at RangeMan I used that as justification for leaving an "I quit" message on Vinnie's machine and not returning to the bonds office since.

I was surprised at how well I was tolerating the chemo so far and thought I might should tell people what was going on. Maybe I could even swing by my parent's house tonight for dinner. I was sure they would like to see me again to offer a reassurance that I really was okay so that they didn't have to call Tank again. I still wasn't sure why they went to him when I was at the beach last weekend but I thought the way he handled it was perfect.

I had a plan worked out in my head and by the time the nurse announced I was good to go and I felt her putting a band aid with a cotton gauze pad underneath it where the IV had been, I opened my eyes and blinked to bring the doctor's office back into focus. When we walked out to the parking lot I squeezed Ranger's hand and then let it go to wrap my arms around Bobby's neck.

"You know before we went back today I was thinking how it didn't make sense for the two of you to keep coming to all my appointments. But after having her dig in my arm I was certainly glad to have you there." I told him.

He placed a chaste kiss on my forehead and then smiled, "Anytime Steph. I was just glad to help." He really did seem pleased with himself so I looked at him and asked, "Same time on Tuesday?"

"I'll talk to the good doctor and see if I can work out a deal about who gets to poke you. I don't think I can stand it if she sends another trainee to work on you," he confessed causing me to relax knowing Bobby would never hurt me.

I turned to join Ranger back at the Turbo and felt a fresh wave of pleasure at the thought of knowing he was mine. He was so sexy standing there with his feet crossed at the ankle, arms crossed over his chest, and mirrored glasses covering his eyes. I took my time walking to him and enjoyed the view. When there was only a matter of inches between us his arms reached out with blinding speed and pulled me to him. "Are you going to tell me what you're cooking up in that head of yours?

I smiled before asking, "What makes you think I'm cooking up something?"

He took off his glasses so I could see the perfectly raised single eyebrow. "I know your face better than my own and the expression on your face in the doctor's office told me you were planning something not relaxing behind those closed eyes."

"You really are a know it all, aren't you?" I asked with a little teasing coming out in my voice.

"No, right now I'm still at a loss about what you were thinking about," he prompted once more giving me a chance to tell him my plans for the day.

I hugged him tighter and answered his question. "I think it's time for me to have dinner with my parents and before that I should swing by and visit with the girls at Vinnie's and maybe see Mary Lou too. I've been hiding but this week has gone well enough that I think it's time for me to stop avoiding everybody and reclaim my life."

His arms tightened around me before he spoke. "Let me make a few calls and I'll take you around to see everybody."

"No," I pulled back so he could how serious I was about this. "I can do it on my own; I know you've got sales calls to make because I set up the appointments myself. Plus, there are some reports you need to look over and Silvio has been bugging me about needing to talk to you about some system improvements for the last three days. You have a full day and don't need to babysit me."

He looked into my eyes for a few minutes before letting out a long breath and saying, "You'll call if you need anything and if you get too tired you'll come back for a rest before dinner?"

I nodded and resisted the urge to roll my eyes at his overprotective questions. "I'll even eat lunch," I threw in showing him I was capable of taking care of myself. Everything was fine; we had all been worried about nothing.

"Will you take one of my cars instead of your Civic?" He asked, clearly trying to push me to see what I'd let him get away with.

I narrowed my eyes to show him I didn't appreciate the insult to my car before throwing him a curve ball by saying, "I'll take it but I'm not taking one of the guys. I don't need a shadow."

He must have sensed the negotiations were at a close because he kissed me in a way that was definitely not chaste and then said, "Then let's get back to Trenton."

When we arrived at the garage, he handed me the keys to the Turbo and said, "Do you want me to join you for dinner or do you want a little time with them on your own?"

That was a hard question to answer. I'd always prefer to have him with me but I felt like it would be more telling to my parents if they saw I was capable of driving myself and didn't need one of the guys to watch over me. "I think this time it might be better if I go alone. But if you think you might go through Grandma Mazur withdrawal, I'll gladly have a place set at the table for you."

"Babe," was his only reply telling me I wouldn't be seeing him for dinner. "Be careful and I'll be waiting for you to get back tonight."

I nodded that I understood what he was saying and despite my insistence that I needed my independence, it didn't mean I had any intention of spending the night alone. I needed to feel his arms around me at night so I would definitely be going back to where he was once dinner was over.

We hadn't discussed me moving in with him on seven, yet it seemed every day more and more of my things appeared there. I should be angry about him just moving me over without us talking about it but every time I thought about us staying apart I began to panic so I let it go.

_Tank's POV_

It was a quiet afternoon in the office without Stephanie there. When Ranger came up without her I was the first one to ask what was wrong but when he explained where she was I couldn't help but smile. She was much like her old self since their trip to the beach and I was thrilled to see she was fighting this without any of the side effects we had been dreading. Bobby had been warning us they would come at some point but even he was pleased to see how well she was tolerating the chemo.

Ranger and I ate some of the stew in the break room that Ella left and admitted to being relieved that we escaped a night of having to duck Grandma Mazur's amazingly fast fingers. As frightening as it was to know that trait was in Stephanie's gene pool it was also nice to know she would probably always have a bit of rebel in her.

We'd been talking for about an hour, shooting the shit and goofing off. I knew he wanted to be downstairs when she got back and had already told the guys in the control room to call him when she pulled in.

My cell phone rang and I looked at the caller ID before answering, surprised to see 'Frank Plum' on the display. "Hello?" I answered, unsure why someone would be calling me from her parent's house.

"Mr. Tank?" Came a voice that I recognized as belonging to Stephanie's mother.

"Mrs. Plum?" I replied trying to figure out why she was calling me. Ranger was at attention at once, probably thinking the worst.

"I'm sorry to call you but I don't have any one else's phone number and I wasn't sure who Stephanie would want me to talk to," she rambled slightly.

"Just tell me what's going on," I prompted hoping she's get to the point before my boss had a stroke sitting next to me.

"We had been visiting with Stephanie and even though she looked tired she seemed fine. But about half way through dinner she said she had to run upstairs. We gave her a little privacy but after half an hour I went up to check on her before I cleared her spaghetti away and she was lying on the bathroom floor. She'd gotten sick and still had a hand on the toilet like she wasn't done. I asked if she needed anything but she shook her head no." Mrs. Plum explained.

"How long ago was that?" I asked standing up with Ranger mirroring my movements.

"Half an hour," she answered then continued, "I've been listening at the door and she's still getting sick. I think she might have a stomach bug but I wasn't sure if it might be because of her chemo too so I thought I might call and see if that doctor you have on staff there could come and take a look at her."

I mouthed the word 'Bobby' to Ranger and started going to the garage. Ranger picked up his cell and told Bobby to meet us with his bag in the garage. I finished my conversation with Mrs. Plum, assuring her she did the right thing in calling us and that we'd be there in ten minutes.

When I hung up I gave Ranger the short version that Steph had gotten sick during dinner and hadn't been able to leave the bathroom. His blank face slammed down as he fought to keep his emotions in check. A few of them slipped through anyway telling me just how devastating he found this news.

Bobby was already down there when we stepped out of the elevator so we climbed into his Explorer and made our way to the Burg in record time. I was impressed that Ranger didn't squeal the tires with the force he applied to the breaks to stop us in front of the Plum residence. The three of us jumped out with synchronized movements as though we were about to enter a drug house instead of a suburban family home.

The door was jerked open by Grandma Mazur and our level of concern for Stephanie had us pressing in unphased by the threat of her grandmother's fingers. "She's upstairs," she told us holding her hands clasped together, not even attempting to cop a feel while we were distracted.

Ranger led the way closely followed by Bobby. Although I wasn't sure what I could do I still felt the pull to be helpful and followed the guys up to the second floor bathroom. Steph was sprawled out on the tile floor with one hand above her holding onto the toilet and the other over her eyes as though her head were in pain and she needed to block out the light.

Ranger was by her side in a second saying her name and brushing her hair out of her face. When he pulled the hand away from her eyes there were trails of tears that had dried leaving a grey line of that tar she insists on using on her face.

"Ranger," she croaked out with a voice that sounded weak and frail, breaking my heart for her.

"I'm here, Babe," he promised before saying, "Bobby's here too. Can he take a look at you?"

She nodded but closed her eyes once more as though the effort to keep them open was just too much for her to handle right now.

Bobby put a hand on her wrist taking her pulse and then fished around in his bag for a vial of something and a new syringe. "Steph, I'm going to give you something to stop the nausea and help with your headache. Then we'll get you back to Haywood, okay?"

She nodded and he stuck the needle in her upper arm in a motion I'd seen him perform thousands of times. He capped the needle putting it in a portable biohazard container and then pried her eye open and said, "How long ago did you stop making tears?"

Shit, that meant she was dehydrated. Steph shrugged, indicating she didn't know the answer to his question. "When we get you up to seven I'm going to try and get some fluids in you. I don't want to be the one to tell Dr. M I let you get dehydrated on my watch." His attempt at a joke fell flat on Steph just giving further evidence of how horrible she felt.

Bobby nodded at Ranger indicating it would be okay to move her so he gently picked her up, cradling her in his arms to carry her back to the waiting truck.

Bobby had run down the stairs ahead of us and was talking to Mrs. Plum, explaining this was an effect of the chemo but it might have been brought on so suddenly by a combination of her being exhausted from an overly long day and then having something heavy and acidic for dinner such as spaghetti sauce. The thought of having fed something to Steph that made her sick had caused Mrs. Plum to turn pale and I felt sorry for her. Steph had always said her mother expressed her emotions through food and this was obviously not the kind of emotion she was trying for.

But being the proper Burg hostess she held out a bag to me as we began to file out of the house. "Mr. Tank, I know Stephanie can't have these so I thought you might enjoy them. There's also a little tiramisu in there if you'd like some dessert."

I let my large hand rest on Mrs. Plum's when I accepted her bag. I knew this wasn't the right kind of food for Steph but everything I'd eaten from this kitchen had been delicious and I didn't see the need to upset her by refusing her token of thanks.

"She'll be alright," I assured her tucking the bag under my arm. "Bobby will get her squared away and Ranger won't leave her side." Mrs. Plum nodded her head and I took that as my cue to leave.

When we arrived at Haywood, Lester and Cal were standing in the garage obviously waiting for us. Ranger and Bobby jumped out with Steph still being carried lying limply in Ranger's arms. I hung back to keep the guys from questioning them until they had Steph squared away upstairs.

Once the doors to the elevator closed Lester spoke, "What the hell happened?"

We all knew the personal connection between Steph and Lester so I figured it would save me a lot of hassle if I just leveled with him now instead of trying to put him off. "She had a long day trying to catch up with everybody she's been ignoring since this whole thing started. And then at dinner tonight her mother made spaghetti and the acid and heavy tomato sauce set off a strong reaction and she got sick. Bobby gave her something to settle her stomach, but she's already dehydrated so he's going to give her fluids upstairs on seven and keep an eye on her through the night. Once she's slept for a while she'll be fine." I said, trying to sound convincing to keep him from hitting me up with more questions.

Les ran his hand through the spikes of his hair on top of his head. "Is there anything we can do?"

I hated this part; the feeling of helplessness when there was really nothing that we could do but wait and see how she would react to the medicine Bobby gave her. I shook my head, "I don't think so. This is out of our hands right now, but I'll remind the boss to call you if she needs something later."

He nodded and silently walked off to the stairs. If nothing else gave away how upset this made Santos, his silence was speaking volumes.

I made my way upstairs and checked in at the control room to be sure everything was stable while we were gone. It seemed everybody that saw me expected an answer to the question of how Bomber was doing. I had no idea when I stopped being the second in command, biggest guy on staff, and total badass and started being the press secretary for a little curly haired girl from the Burg, but I knew somebody had to do it.

I gave them all the same version I'd tried to sell Lester on in the garage but it didn't seem that anybody was fully buying it. Truth was, as I found myself on the stairwell going to the seventh floor uninvited, I wasn't sold on it either. I needed to see for myself how much of what I'd been saying was true.

It was completely silent when I let myself in Ranger's apartment. He was standing at the window with his head resting on his wrist against the darkened glass. He didn't acknowledge my entrance but I knew he knew I was there. It was kind of hard to miss a guy my size plus there were only five of us with fobs to get in up here and three of them were already here.

Just before I opened my big mouth to ask about her Bobby came out of the bedroom, shutting the door quietly behind him. "She's asleep," he answered the unasked question. "What I gave her will keep her out for a while and it will settle her stomach. I put an IV in just because she was getting dehydrated but it wasn't too bad. In the morning she'll probably be sore from the heaving, but she should be okay other than that. I've left a bottle of Advil on the bathroom cabinet for her to take if she wakes up during the night. The hard part will be convincing her to eat in the morning. She can't start skipping meals out of fear that this will happen again."

Ranger nodded that he'd heard everything that had been said, but he didn't speak.

"Is it normal for it to be that severe all of a sudden?" I couldn't help but push.

Bobby shrugged. "There's not really a normal here. This is a completely typical side effect. In many cases it comes on suddenly. But her reaction, especially to that meal, isn't a-typical so there's no need to panic. I think she's going to find that a lot of greasy heavy foods will not sit well anymore, so she may need to learn to eat differently for a while."

"She's not going to like that," I replied dryly, giving Ranger's face a half smile for the first time since Mrs. Plum's call interrupted our dinner.

"You gonna to stay with her?" Bobby asked Ranger.

He nodded once in the affirmative, not that either of us doubted it.

"She shouldn't be alone, at least until the IV comes out," he advised. "I'll come up in the morning and check on her and then, based on how she's doing, we'll decide if she needs to go to the doctor or if I just need to update Sophia on her condition. My eyes opened wide at Bobby's use of the doctor's first name, but Ranger didn't seem at all surprised so I didn't say anything.

Just as I was about to relax, Bobby took away the comfort I had been hiding behind. "I'd like to say this was a one-time event, but we need to be prepared that as the chemo builds up in her system it may be like this or worse. Sophia has said more than once that this is an extremely aggressive form of treatment, and that we will need to watch Steph to see if she can tolerate it. If she can't, we can pull back the dosage or the number of treatments to give her body a chance to adjust. The next week will be telling, so you may need to get used to seeing a little more of me."

Ranger nodded and started to walk to his bedroom. Just before he opened the door he turned his head to the side and said, "Thanks for tonight, man."

After he disappeared Bobby turned to me and asked, "Did he just thank me?"

I smiled at his mirroring of Cal's question from a couple weeks ago. "Yea, when it comes to people helping with Steph he's learned how to be polite." We left the apartment together without another word, each returning to our own office and holding onto our quiet hopes that Steph would be herself again in the morning.

_Stephanie's POV_

I tried to move over but wasn't able to get very far because of Ranger's arm wrapped around my waist. I opened my eyes and saw it was morning, with sunlight streaming through the windows, so the fact that he had slept in to stay with me wasn't a good sign. I tried to figure out why he would feel the need to sleep in and thought back to yesterday. I remembered a good visit at Dr. M's office where Bobby intimidated the nurse who was trying to get my IV in. Then Ranger had me take his Turbo to go make some visits I'd been putting off for far too long.

I stayed at Vinnie's office for a couple of hours visiting with Connie and Lula and finally leveled with them about what was going on. Connie just told me how sorry she was but Lula proved once again why I considered her such a great friend when she said, "Girl, I'll start growing my hair out and if yours falls out they can cut mine and make you a wig. We'd look like twins then." I couldn't help but notice she sat beside me and squeezed my hand with hers, letting me know she'd give me just about anything she could if I needed it.

After that I had time to see Mary Lou before school got out so I sat in her kitchen and had a peanut butter and olive sandwich while telling her everything that I had learned from the doctor. We cried together and in the end I was beginning to feel tired but at the same time it felt good that everyone knew what was happening with me.

I looked at my watch and saw I still had a little time to kill before dinner at my parents' house so I took a chance and drove by Joe's house. His Jeep was there so I knocked on the door and he answered it, rubbing his eyes trying to wake up. He'd been napping from being out all night at a homicide and had just gotten home a few hours earlier. Despite me waking him he insisted on me coming in and made a pot of coffee for us to chat. He knew from the look on my face that I had something I needed to tell him and he wasn't going to let me leave until I'd shared it all with him.

Joe's reaction was the one I had assumed I would have seen more of from everyone. It was full of pity as he awkwardly hugged me before I left. He didn't seem to know what to do with himself or what to say. I was probably reading too much into it, but I could have sworn there was a little relief in there too. I'll bet this was the first time he'd ever been glad to think I was Manoso's woman instead of his wife. Well, that made two of us celebrating that fact.

It was still early, but I decided to go ahead to my parent's house and hoped my mom would let me just sit in the den with my dad to watch the game in order to rest for a bit. Of course that was wishful thinking because the moment she saw me pull up at the curb, she was standing at the door waiting on me. I was dragged into the kitchen to sit at the bar while she finished working on dinner. It was nice to sit down, but having to play twenty questions wasn't really my idea of relaxation.

By the time we sat down for dinner I was struggling to keep my eyes open but I could tell she watching my fork to be sure I ate. So I dutifully worked against my gut instinct to go lie down and ate about half of the spaghetti. She'd made homemade meatballs for me and I knew the time she'd put into this meal so I didn't want to disappoint her by not eating. After half an hour I knew I had made a huge mistake and excused myself to run upstairs. After getting sick repeatedly I finally just laid down on the tile floor with a hand on the toilet in case I needed to pull myself up again quickly.

Mom came in to check on me and seemed alarmed at my position. I should have moved to try and assure her I was alright but I just didn't have it in me.

I declined her offer to call somebody and then regretted it once she walked away. Of course my cell phone was downstairs in my purse so I couldn't call for any sort of back up. I finally just gave up and laid there, knowing eventually my absence would be noticed or my dad would need to use the bathroom and somebody would help me then.

I could vaguely remember Ranger kneeling beside me and pulling my hand away. I thought Bobby was there too to give me something to settle my stomach but I didn't have many memories after that. I guess the cavalry showed up at my parent's house and got me back to Haywood and after seeing me spread out on the bathroom floor Ranger didn't feel like he could leave me.

I moved again with a need to get up to go to the bathroom and then realized I had a needle in my hand connected to an IV bag. I certainly didn't remember that but assumed it meant my evening activities had left me pretty dehydrated. My movements woke Ranger and he said, "Good morning, Babe. How do you feel?"

I took a moment to think about it before answering honestly, "Slightly hung over and like I need to use the bathroom from the bag of liquid hanging up there."

Ranger moved, immediately pulling back the covers and coming to my side of the bed. He picked up the now empty bag that was still connected to my hand and then picked me up to take me to the bathroom. He had a look on his face that told me it would be useless to complain that I was capable of walking.

He left me alone in the bathroom to take care of my morning routine but was standing right outside the door when I opened it to come back out. I was going to fuss at him that he didn't need to hover but the look on his face was one of true worry and I couldn't say anything negative to him after seeing how concerned he was.

"Bobby's here," he said while I was readjusting my attitude. "Would you like him to get that out of your hand now or do you want to get dressed first?"

His question caused me to pay attention to what I was wearing for the first time. I was in one of Ranger's t-shirts and nothing else. I guess this wasn't exactly ideal for receiving guests so I split the difference between my two options and said, "How about I slip on some sweat pants and then we let him get me unhooked so I can shower before getting dressed for real."

He nodded and let me get the pants from the closet but he took them from my hands and knelt down to help me slip them on so that I didn't have to bend over. Having taken care of my modesty, we walked out to the living room where Bobby was sitting on the couch waiting for us.

"Hey Steph, how are you feeling this morning?" He asked quietly, as though he knew my head was still hurting.

"Hung over, but other than that I think I'm okay," I told him. He asked me to sit down so he could give me a quick look over. He took my blood pressure and pulse before pinching my skin and looking at my eyes with his little light. He finally announced that I seemed better hydrated and if I'd promise to keep drinking through the day he would agree to take the line out of my hand. I readily agreed, noticing that Ranger immediately went to the kitchen and returned with a bottle of water.

He took the cap off before handing it me. I guess that was a subtle hint for me to start drinking it now. I took a sip and realized Bobby had more to say that he was holding back. "Go ahead and lay it out for me, Bobby," I prompted making him smile that devilish smile at me.

"You are going to have to eat. I know after last night you are going to be a little wary but if you start skipping meals then Sophia will be all over me for not watching over you better. She already gave it to me for letting you get dehydrated. Thank God I handled last night the right way or I might have found myself in the dog house after finally reconnecting with an old friend." He explained carefully finding his words.

"So you want me to eat because you're worried that Dr. M will get mad at you if I don't?" I asked, unable to keep from smiling.

He blushed slightly at my simplification of what he'd really said. "That, plus I'll worry about you because you need the nutrition to stay strong enough to battle this."

"Okay," I told him, "But only because you asked so nicely." I couldn't help but tease him about Sophia while he got the IV out and then handed me a couple of Tylenol for my headache.

He gave me a few other things to look for and promised he was only a phone call away if I had any concerns. "If we stay on top of the symptoms they'll be a lot easier to manage," he promised before leaving us to begin our day.

Ranger sat down next to me on the couch and pulled me into his lap. He put his face in my hair which I knew had to be a mess and took a deep breath. I realized he was looking for some kind of comfort that I was okay so I put my arms around his shoulders and leaned into his chest, resting my head against his neck. We stayed that way, silently drawing on the strength that we could only find with each other, until my stomach growled.

We both laughed a little at how some things would never change. "What do you feel like eating?" he asked making me have to stop and think. Normally I would have said something sweet like doughnuts or pancakes but neither of those seemed right. What I really wanted was something comforting like scrambled eggs and toast. I knew Ella could make them but there was a place where I knew they'd be just want I wanted.

"Do you mind if we go out for breakfast?" I asked, a little unsure of how he'd react.

"Name it," he replied quickly. "I'll take you anywhere you want to go."

"Shorty's," I answered honestly.

My answer seemed to make him happy. "Let's get cleaned up together to cut the time and if you'll grab your key to get us in, then I'll be glad to drive."

I don't know which part made me smile harder; the fact that he was okay with my suggestion and wasn't giving me a hard time about wanting to go out so soon after getting sick, or the fact that he suggested we take a shower together. Ranger stood us up and began to pull off the shirt he had thrown on earlier. The sight of him bare chested and beginning to push his pants down made the decision for me. A wet naked Ranger was reason enough to smile. Shorty's could wait – with any luck I'd have something hot to begin my day and then we could get my eggs after getting dressed.


	17. Moving In and Moving On

_The usual applies; these characters belong to JE, not me._

_Fredda (Rangergirl1234) thank you so much for tirelessly working through all the chapters of this story as the beta._

**Chapter 17 – Moving In and Moving On**

_Stephanie's POV_

Just as we pulled into the parking lot of Shorty's, Ranger's phone rang. He looked at the caller ID and took a deep breath. "Go on in," he said quickly. "I'll catch up with you in a minute."

Knowing it was a business call that he couldn't help I went ahead in using my key and slipped in the back door as quietly as possible. As if he had a silent alarm in his head, warning him that the back door had been breached, Shorty appeared almost immediately. "Hey Little Girl," his deep voice boomed over the bustle in the kitchen.

I don't know why I did it but I walked right up to him and wrapped my arms around his midsection to hug him. His big arms wrapped around me just as tightly and I smiled at the comfort that could be found in such strong arms scented like fried breakfast food.

He didn't let me go until I began to relax my hold on him as though he had nothing better to do during peak breakfast hours than to hug a girl in his busy kitchen. When I stepped back he tipped my chin up and looked in my eyes. "It's getting a little harder?" he asked.

"I had been doing fine but last night I went to my parent's house for spaghetti and it all came up. Bobby had to knock me out and I ended up with an IV for the better part of the night," I confessed as though Shorty really needed all that information.

"You alone?" He asked next, getting the full picture of my situation.

I shook my head no and explained, "Ranger's in the car but he had to take a call. I figured I could come in here and sit while he was tied up. I don't think I'm going to be allowed to be alone today after scaring everybody last night."

Shorty shook his head as though he were agreeing with Ranger's unspoken rule that I was not to be unattended now. "Come on," he said leading me by the hand to the stool I now thought of as mine. "I'll be right back with a little something for you."

I relaxed into the sounds of the kitchen around me and was surprised at how quickly he returned with a plate of eggs with toast on the side and a couple of slices of orange cut up like little boats. "Do your best," he instructed before leaving me alone to work on my breakfast.

Ranger came in through the dinning room door when I had gotten a few bites in me. He kissed the top of my head before sitting next to me on the empty stool.

"Do you want some?" I offered, unsure if Shorty would bring Ranger something too.

He shook his head no. "I saw what he did to his nephew for taking your bacon. I don't want to know what he'd do to me if I took your eggs."

I had to smile at the memory of Shorty smacking Tank's head and my quick defense of my friend. Before I could say anything else a kid I didn't recognize sat a plate in front of Ranger that was similar to mine but had twice as much of everything.

I ate one bite of eggs for every three or four that Ranger took. I felt like I'd worked through enough but when Shorty came to check on me his face took a hard expression and he pointed to the orange slices. "Eat those and I'll let you be finished. It might taste better than you think right now. The pills screw up flavors but the citrus stays the same."

I had no idea what he was talking about but I knew better than to argue with him so I picked up a slice and sunk my teeth into the tender flesh of the fruit sucking the juice that exploded into my mouth. I had to admit he was right. This had to be the perfect food right now and I easily ate both slices. Ranger had a slight smile on his face and I couldn't help but notice he'd left a slice untouched on his plate. When I finished both of mine he lifted it to me, offering me a chance to eat his next. I quickly took it feeling much more excited about eating the fruit than anything else.

When Shorty came back he saw three clean pieces of peel on the edge of my plate and smiled in response. He handed off the plates in front of us to the busboy who happened to be pushing his cart by. "How did you know about the orange?" I asked putting my hand on Shorty to stop him from leaving.

"Ellie used to say the pills made everything taste like metal. She couldn't eat bland food because the metal was all she could taste, but food that was too heavy like spaghetti made her sick. So I kept trying stuff until I came up with food that had flavor without being too much. Fruit like that usually worked." He explained, giving me perhaps the longest speech I'd ever heard him make.

We talked for a little longer before he excused himself to go straighten out the wait staff and Ranger and I took that as our cue to leave.

When we got back to the car I realized Ranger hadn't said a word since he declined to eat any of my eggs in the restaurant. He could be quiet but even by his standards this was extreme. "Are you going to tell me who was on the phone and what they said to concern you?"

He half smiled and looked at me. "I forget sometimes that you know me as well I know you." I assumed that was his way of telling me I'd gotten his reason for being quiet right on the first guess.

"It was the Boston office," he began with little enthusiasm. "They had a take down scheduled for a million dollar bond last night and it didn't go well. It's getting down to the wire to get him, so they're trying to plan out a different strategy for tonight to pick him up."

"Wait, isn't there a policy that all bonds at that level have you present?" I asked, wondering if there might have been a different outcome if he had been there.

"Usually, but I've made exceptions in the past if I have something more pressing that needs my attention," he explained.

"So when do you need to leave?" I asked, assuming he would need to go for tonight's attempt so they didn't miss the window of opportunity.

"I told them I wasn't going," he replied definitely.

"Why?" I asked, knowing the answer already.

"Because I'm not leaving you while you are in the middle of chemo. I can't think about you being as sick as you were last night and me not being here to hold you," he said quieter.

"But you'd be leaving today for a takedown tonight which means you could be back tomorrow, right?" I needed to be sure I had the details right.

"Yes, but that doesn't change anything," he insisted.

"It certainly does," I disagreed. "I am perfectly capable of staying by myself for a single night while you go help the guys in a take down. You need to go, and I have a feeling there is a piece of you that wants to be there."

"I like the strategy and the take down on the big dollar skips, but that piece of me is small compared to the pull I have to be here with you." He said thinking his concession would be the end of it. Did he really not know me any better than that?

"You're going," I tried using my intimidating voice.

"No, I'm not," he countered with his equally intimidating tone.

When he parked back at Haywood I realized this was a bit of an impasse unless I could come up with a better angle to make this argument.

"Look Ranger, there may come a time when I will need you to be here; a time when I'd be afraid for you to be gone. But we aren't at that point yet. I need to know that your life isn't on hold because I'm sick. I'll be careful with what I eat over the next twenty-four hours and then you'll be back." I stated matter-of-factly.

He gripped the steering wheel tighter even though the car was off. "How will I know the difference? How do I know when you are afraid for me to leave and when it's okay for me to be gone?"

That seemed like a completely logical question. "How about if it gets to the point that I can't go to the beach house with you, then that is my way of saying I need you with me all the time. But until we get to that point, I want you to keep living your life as normally as possible."

He hung his head slightly as though his resistance were wearing down slightly. I decided to add a little more pressure and said, "I'll stay in your apartment on seven so you know I'll be safe and well attended to."

When I said that his head snapped back up and he turned to look at me. I had a feeling the tables of pressure were about to be turned on me in a big way. "About that," he said pushing a curl behind my ear. "I don't think of it as _my_ apartment. I think of it as_ our_ apartment. I might be willing to go to Boston if you would agree that the apartment is ours so that I could think of coming home to you."

That was playing dirty. "So you'll go for an overnight in Boston, but only if I agree to move in with you?"

The wolf smile appeared on his face and I realized once again I had been bested by the master of applying pressure. As long as it hadn't been official I had no trouble staying on seven, but him asking me to make it my home was a real step forward in our relationship. When I thought about it like that I realized I was comfortable taking giant leaps forward in our relationship. The hives I used to get at giving up my independence were no where to be found now. It was really just a matter of semantics; most of my things had magically been transported over the last few weeks anyway.

I felt like I needed to say something to keep it from seeming like I was agreeing to his demands easily. "Alright, but just so you know there is something in my apartment that will need to be brought over before I can consider it my home."

He glanced at his watch, checking to see if we had time to get it now before he needed to prepare for his trip. "Do we need to grab a van?"

I laughed before answering, "No, I'm pretty sure my cookie jar will fit in my lap."

The recognition that all I needed to make his apartment my home was a simple piece of ceramics earned me a hard kiss with his fingers tangled in my hair. When we pulled apart his eyes were dark and I could tell he didn't want to spend the last couple of hours we had together running errands so I offered, "How about we go get you packed. After you leave I'll have whoever is on duty as my shadow today take me over to my old place to pick up what I need so that when you come back tomorrow you can officially say that you're coming home to me?"

Another kiss, equal in passion to the last one, was all I got as affirmation that he liked my suggestion. I'd have to see if I could talk the Merry Man stuck with following me into a trip to the mall. I wanted to have something special to welcome him home with tomorrow.

_Tank's POV_

I'd recognize that soft knock anywhere. "You used to just come in, why are you knocking?" I couldn't help but tease.

She pushed the door open and walked in with a grin on her face. "I'm trying to get better at respecting boundaries since the boss insisted we weren't supposed to share an office." Her allusion to her habit of sneaking in my office to work any time Ranger was gone made us both laugh.

"What can I do for you?" I asked, glad to have the interruption in typing my field reports from yesterday.

"I need to grab a few things from my apartment to bring over here so I need to know who is driving me." She said the last part with a bit of a sigh as though she thought being driven everywhere was completely unnecessary.

I looked at the schedule and saw Lester's name was on it for this afternoon but I was desperate for an excuse to get away from my desk so I said, "How about I take you over?"

She jumped up apparently ready to go now. As we passed by the guys on the floor Les came over and busted my genius plan by asking, "Where are you going?"

Not realizing I was trying to steal his thunder, she answered honestly, "I need to get some stuff from my apartment so Tank is taking me over."

Les' face showed how little he appreciated my trying to steal his time alone with Bomber. Stephanie must have noticed because she looked between us quickly and then spoke up as though she were continuing her thought, "Then he's going to bring my stuff back here for me so that you and I can swing by the mall before coming back."

Her quick thinking saved me a lot of grief from Santos so I was thankful, but couldn't acknowledge it without giving away her cover so I made a mental note to tell her later.

Les' whole demeanor shifted then and he swung an arm around her shoulder, "Beautiful, I'll gladly take you to the mall. Maybe we can swing by Victoria's Secret for you to model something for me."

I don't know what she had planned at the mall, but the look on his face was priceless when she snapped back innocently, "Ironically, that's exactly where I need to go. Do you think Ranger would mind you giving me your opinion on which pieces I should purchase?"

It was rare to see the playboy without a comeback but she had reduced him to red faced silence; something else I'd need to thank her for.

It felt strange to be back in her apartment. We all used to come by on a regular basis, checking on her, and doing surveillance from the parking lot when Ranger was too chicken shit to admit how he felt about her.

Everything was exactly the way it used to be, just a little dustier. She went into her bedroom and came out with a duffle bag that had a few pairs of shoes in it and then walked into the bathroom throwing the remaining contents of her medicine cabinet in on top of her foot ware. Finally, she completed the loop by going into the kitchen and grabbing her cookie jar. We all loved the way she referred to it as her gun safe. I lifted the lid while it was still in her arms and we both laughed at the loose shells for her gun rolling around at the bottom.

"I guess that explains why your gun isn't loaded," I commented dryly.

She looked tired so I took the things from her hands, not willing to let her carry anything that might be heavy, and watched as she looked around one last time. "I'm going to miss this place," she said to no one in particular.

So he'd finally done it. Ranger had finally convinced Steph to officially move in with him. Thank goodness we didn't have to worry about what would happen when she got better and tried to return to her own place. Having her living arrangements settled was a relief.

She looked sad but I couldn't tell if it was nostalgia of leaving her apartment or missing Ranger so I spoke without thinking first. "How about you two go to the mall and when you get back come to my apartment on four. We'll watch a movie and have some dinner."

Her eyes perked up a little which was a great improvement. I couldn't bear to see her go back to the expressions she used to wear before she was diagnosed when her eyes had no life to them at all.

"Can the guys come too?" She asked without being specific about who was included in her general use of the term 'guys'.

I couldn't deny her a thing so I smiled and said, "As long as they'll fit, they can come."

This time her eyes shifted to a genuinely happy expression as we left her apartment for the last time.

I was in the control room when Santos and Steph returned from the mall. She had a couple of bags from Macys, but in Lester's hand was the biggest pink bag I'd ever seen with the words Victoria's Secret on the side. My boss was one hell of a lucky man, or at least that bag promised he would be when he got home.

I had a pretty broad selection of movies, so once we had all assembled I let Stephanie pick and we were all relieved when she went for Pirates of the Caribbean instead of some of the softer options I was constantly ribbed about owning. A man who only watches action films can be one dimensional and I like a little variety. Most of the goons around here to are too nervous to admit to needing to get in touch with their sensitive sides.

We had party subs from Subway cut into two inch pieces with several varieties to choose from. I had canned soda and beer on ice and Ella had brought down a big platter of brownies. It wasn't Martha Stewart but for this group of misfits it had the makings of a good time.

There were a dozen of us for dinner but the crowd began to thin as the shift change forced some of them to get to work. Bobby went over to Steph, who was happily chatting with Cal with his arm around her shoulder, and said something that made her let out a long breath. She nodded and he pulled a bottle of pills from his pocket and poured one into her hand, watching her carefully until she took it. He ruffled her hair and walked away leaving her with Cal who pulled her into his arms for a tight hug.

Bobby saw me watching him and came over saying only, "chemo," to fill me in on what he'd given her. I'd forgotten she was to take another pill tonight. Fortunately, she'd already eaten so we didn't have to worry about it taking away her appetite.

The seven of us that remained found places to sit and we put the movie in that Steph had picked out earlier. We were only twenty minutes into it when Steph jumped up and ran to the bathroom. Luckily all the apartments on this floor were laid out the same because she'd never been to mine before and it looked like she needed to get there fast without time to ask for directions.

We let the movie play but Bobby was on her heels, standing outside the door with his ear pressed listening to what was going on. He motioned to Lester and told him something before smacking Les on the shoulder sending him on his way out of the apartment. Every second that dragged on felt like an eternity.

When Lester came back he was carrying Bobby's black medic bag and a few other items in a backpack. Bobby looked everything over and then used a tilt of his head to send Lester away from the bathroom and back over to where the movie was playing. None of us were watching but we felt the need to keep the pretense up so that Steph wouldn't feel self-conscious about whatever was happening in the bathroom.

Bobby knocked and then let himself in. He came back out a few minutes later with his arm around a very pale Stephanie. Her eyes were wet, giving evidence that she'd been crying and effectively breaking the heart of every man in my living room.

Bobby led her back to where she had been sitting next to me on the floor leaning against my sofa. She sat down hard and when I put my arm around her shoulder she unexpectedly laid her head down in my lap. I looked over at Bobby who was putting away his gear including putting a needle away in a biohazard container. This told me he'd had to give her something to settle her stomach again. I figured she would go to sleep after a while, so I rested my hand on her shoulder to let her know she was safe with me.

She rolled over to lie on her back, leaving her head in my lap but closing her eyes. Ten minutes after she returned Lester moved close to her and asked Steph if she was alright. She gave him a warm smile and nodded before reaching out and running a finger across his check. Lester relaxed from the simple contact and I wondered just how hard it was to watch her go through this, thinking back to the loss of his mother, and wondering if this would end the same way.

He kept looking at her and she patted her hip. I didn't know what she meant but apparently Lester did as he stretched out in front of her, using her hip as a pillow for his head. She put a hand on his chest and ran the other through the spikes of his hair. Lester shut his eyes, innocently absorbing the comfort she was providing him. I'd never seen someone as in tune with the people around them as Stephanie. She had just been sick in the bathroom and now she had to be feeling unsettled and exhausted, but she was still thinking of how to help one of us.

The movie played on and some of the guys left. By the time it was over Bobby, Lester, and I were all that remained with a sleeping Stephanie. Bobby had stretched out on the couch behind us, occasionally taking her pulse or touching her forehead. Eventually we all fell asleep, not caring that our positions weren't well suited for a night of good rest.

I woke to the vibration of my phone on my hip and unclipped it to whisper "Yo," while trying to focus on the clock of the DVD player to see why someone was calling me at 0500.

Ranger's voice came over the line in a panic, "What the hell happened?"

"What are you talking about?" I said unsure what he was referring to.

"Steph's not in our apartment on seven and she isn't at her old place either. Bobby's not in his apartment and his office looks like somebody went through there randomly grabbing supplies in a hurry," he offered as explanation for his worry. "What happened?"

"Calm down and come to my apartment. You'll have to let yourself in, but be quiet about it." I heard the phone click dead and my door open at nearly the same time.

Ranger silently walked over and stopped to look at the scene in front of him. We were positioned exactly as we had been last night, with Steph's head in my lap, Santos in hers and Bobby's hand on her neck. I watched him closely to be sure he wasn't going to overreact. At the corners of his mouth was the hint of smile, as though he liked the way we had rallied around her in his absence. "Report," was all he said, barely above a whisper.

I went through the events of the night while he sat on the coffee table we'd moved out of the way last night. When I told him about her getting sick his fist balled up but he kept his face blank. He wasn't fooling me about how upset he was; this was just an old defense mechanism that he couldn't control.

While we were talking Steph began to stir. I watched Ranger watch her, unsure if this was just a dream or if she was waking up. I wasn't the least bit surprised that he knew the difference when he slid down to the floor to kneel in front of her so that when her eyes opened his face was what she saw first.

She made a confused sound that made us both laugh. "What?" Ranger asked her wanting to know what was causing the wrinkle on her forehead.

"I thought I was waking up, but I must still be dreaming if you're here too," she confessed in a voice still thick with sleep.

Ranger chuckled softly and took her hand from Santos' chest, causing his eyes to open immediately. Ignoring his cousin, Ranger spoke only to Stephanie. "No dream, the take down went smoothly and was done early so I hopped a red eye back to get home to you quicker."

She smiled at his confession that he had hurried back to be with her. "Welcome home," she told him with a smile.

Ranger leaned over and kissed her softly before saying, "I was thinking since we've got all day today and I think the boss would be okay with you taking some time on Monday, why don't we head back to the beach house for an overnight get away."

I couldn't put my finger on it but it really felt like he was asking her a much bigger question than whether or not she wanted to go to the beach with him. It's almost like waiting for her answer was making him nervous. When she smiled and said, "That sounds perfect," he relaxed.

"Do you want to sleep a little more or are you ready to throw these jokers aside and leave now?" She looked up at me and smiled, pulling her hand from Ranger's to lay it over my heart.

"Thanks for last night, big guy," she said leaving her hand on me for a moment to reinforce her gratitude. Then she ran her hand through Santos' hair a few more times, just like she had last night. I swear if he'd been a cat he would have purred.

Les looked up at her eventually and asked, "You're going to leave all this charm just to run off to the beach with him?" He was trying to go for offended but the smile on his face ruined the effect.

Finally she looked to the couch and saw Bobby still sleeping. She began to struggle to sit up and faster than I could react Lester was off of her hip and supporting her back to help her get upright. She knelt beside the sofa and placed a kiss on Bobby's forehead. She didn't say anything but when he said, "You're welcome," it told me her message had been received even though his eyes stayed closed.

With her goodbyes done she accepted Ranger's hand to help her stand and the two of them walked out to head to the beach. I knew what a difference it made in her the last time he took her away and silently hoped this trip would have the same effect.

As soon as the door closed Bobby sat up and three of us sat there in silence for a minute. It wasn't early by our standards but I was exhausted just the same. There was a temptation to skip my workout and hit the sack instead but when Les caught my eye and asked, "Want to spar?" the sound of beating on something was strangely appealing so I nodded and went to change.

_Stephanie's POV_

I could hear the ocean and smell the salt air which was strange. I remembered dreaming that Ranger came home early and wanted to sweep me off to the beach house for a little overnight get away. I thought I remembered getting in the car but now I wasn't sure it was real. Opening my eyes slowly I realized I was sitting in a lounge chair on the deck of Ranger's beach house, leaning against his chest with a blanket tucked around us both.

I took a deep breath and felt my back shake where he was obviously laughing. "Are you really awake?" He asked, making me wonder how long I'd been sleeping.

As if he understood my confusion he explained my memories were all real and that as soon as I got in the car at Haywood my head hit the rest on the seat and I was asleep. He said he brought me in the house and I stayed out through it. Then after an hour of me sleeping on the sofa he thought I might like getting some fresh air so he brought us out here since the sun was shining. It was nearly noon and he was beginning to worry that bringing me here had been a huge mistake.

I stretched and then found my voice to reply. "No, it was the perfect way to wake up. I guess I was tired from last night and needed you with me to relax enough to catch up on my rest."

He must have liked that answer because he made the sweetest sounding sigh as his arms tightened around me. We stayed there for a few more minutes soaking up the sun and the sound of the waves before my stomach began to growl and I knew we'd have to try and feed me. I couldn't muster up much enthusiasm for trying to eat.

Ranger must have sensed my mood because he said, "Come on, Babe, I've got some different types of food in the kitchen and I'm sure something will appeal to you, we just have to figure out what."

He took my hand and led me into the house. It was then that I fully absorbed what he was wearing. Ranger had on a pair of faded jeans with a hole over the knee. His feet were completely bare and his t-shirt was a well worn, thin, grey army shirt that was untucked and tight over his chest. There was definitely something that appealed to me but I wasn't sure if it would be on the menu for my lunch. Maybe I'd have to wait for dessert.


	18. It Affects Us All

_Thanks to JE for creating the characters I'm having so much fun playing with._

_Fredda (Rangergirl1234) you have done a wonderful job as the beta on this story. Thank you for your dedication and careful eye._

**Chapter 18 – It Affects Us All**

_Stephanie's POV_

We drove back to Trenton, hand in hand, riding in the comfortable silence that can only be found between two people who truly understand and accept each other. His thumb rubbed over my knuckles holding my hand on his thigh.

We had barely been at the beach for thirty two hours but it was long enough to relax. We talked freely, held each other constantly, and I slept a great deal of the time always in the safety of Ranger's arms.

When it was time to eat Ranger had proven himself worthy of the new challenge of finding a food that I could both stomach and enjoy eating. Food that was bland enough to settle in my stomach tended to have very little taste on its own so it ended up bringing out the metallic taste of the chemo I was taking. But trial and error showed that most fruits worked and smoothies made out of fresh berries and vanilla yogurt were my new favorite foods. I think it pleased him, even though he wouldn't admit it, that the foods my body could handle were some of his favorites already. Since we were eating most of the same things we skipped separate plates and just fed each other from the serving platter.

We still had a couple of hours left in a normal work day so when we got back to Haywood we went to the fifth floor and a beautifully deep kiss was my parting gift as he left me in my office to get some work of his own done.

I saw a neat stack of messages from clients and began to work my way through them. The last one in the stack was from Masterson Jewelers so I called him first. Apparently his store had a break in on Sunday night. The guys responded in time to foil the robbery but he was mad about how much damage was done in his store first because of what he called a slow response time. I promised to do a little research and made an appointment to stop by his store tomorrow after my chemo infusion to discuss my findings. The rest of the calls were simple reassurance calls that I could breeze through but the guys found so tedious.

When I was done I went to the control room and asked about the footage from Sunday night's break in at Masterson's. Woody was working and he pulled me over to sit in his lap and proceeded to type around me to pull up the footage I needed to see. I had him talk me through what had happened. Apparently the kids that broke in came in through a window in the back of the store. We didn't respond until their activity was picked up with a camera near the front door and someone on monitor duty that night happened to see it and call in a response team. I wondered why there wasn't a sensor on the back window. That seemed like a blatant vulnerability in the store so I thanked Woody for helping me and then tried to get up. I was exhausted even though I'd only been working for a couple of hours. Woody must have noticed because he held onto my hand to keep me from standing and asked where I was headed to next.

"Just my office," I replied realizing how silly it was to need to mentally talk myself into walking a distance no greater than a hundred feet. Woody stood up as though I weighed nothing and carried me to my office depositing me on the couch Ranger had delivered for me last week.

"What now?" He asked, and I considered telling him nothing to keep from bothering him but then I reconsidered and said, "If you can bring me the laptop on my desk then I can work from here." He gave it to me and then kissed my head softly before letting himself out and pulling the door mostly shut behind him.

I pulled up the contract and original sales proposal for the jewelry store to see if I could come up with a valid explanation for why we hadn't better secured the client. The longer I looked the heavier my eyes became and before long they shut and I just had to give in to the sleep.

_Tank's POV_

I realized the boss had returned so I knocked on his door to see if their night away had been as helpful as it had been the last time. He smiled when I asked if he had a good time so I took it that he at least enjoyed part of the time away.

I put my hand up and said, "I don't need details about that shit, man."

Ranger laughed and then said, "Yea, we had a good time but just in a week I can tell a difference in her endurance. She's only a fourth of the way through it and she's wearing down a little. If it keeps tearing her down at this pace I don't know how she'll keep going after six more weeks."

I understood his concern and couldn't come up with a single thing to say to his worry, so I just shook my head silently swearing that I was of no help to either of them right now.

We went over some skips and activity, marveling at how much time we had to spend on the stuff we enjoyed now that Steph was basically running the office and taking care of the clients. She prepared daily summary reports of the previous days activities that summed up all the accounts so that we were both completely up to date and could feel confident focusing on other things than the administrative tasks neither of us enjoyed.

I picked up the files from Vinnie's this morning and had pulled one out that was right up our alley, so I pulled it aside when I first reviewed them all and brought it out for him now. "You feel like having some fun?"

He raised an eyebrow at me, clearly interested in whatever I was talking about. "I've got a skip to round up tonight that seems to think selling drugs to kids is a fun hobby. He got charged with possession with intent to sell, assault, and resisting arrest. He shot an officer at his arrest and somehow still got bailed out."

The fact that he'd hit an officer meant the condition we brought him back in wouldn't be questioned. If Ranger needed a chance to let out some of his frustration with Steph's illness, then this was the perfect outlet for him.

Ranger looked through the file and nodded when he got to the research that showed the skip would be at his apartment tonight. "Let me tell Steph I'll be home later and we can roll," he said with a grin.

He opened the safe built into his desk and armed himself fully, grabbing the vest on the back of the door before going next door to Steph's office. He knocked on the door and opened it to enter in one motion. She didn't respond so we went in quicker to be sure she was alright. She was asleep on the sofa in her office with her laptop on her legs and her hands stretched out over the keyboard.

Ranger picked it up from her grasp and ran his finger over the touchpad to disable the screen saver. He scanned over whatever she had been looking at and said, "Masterson," as an explanation.

"He had a break in on Sunday night. The guys got there in time to catch the kids in the act, but his store got trashed a little first. He was some kind of mad when he called this morning and only wanted to talk to Stephanie." I offered as my guess for what she was doing with his file.

Ranger shut the laptop and sat it on her desk before grabbing a blanket from the back of the couch and putting it over her to keep her warm. He placed a lingering kiss on her forehead and whispered something to her. It looked like she said something in return but it was too soft for me to hear it. He stood up a minute later and brushed the curls off her face. I'd seen so many people perform that same action, hell I'd done it too, but when Ranger touched her like that, it seemed to mean more.

He finally took a deep breath and motioned for us to leave. Pulling the door closed he went over to Santos' cubicle. Les turned around and raised an eyebrow wondering why we stopped by for a visit.

Ranger didn't waste any time answering the unasked question. "Steph is asleep in her office. I don't want her disturbed, but we're heading out to pick up a skip and will be back in a couple hours. If she wakes up I don't want her to worry and I don't want her to be alone."

Lester nodded that he understood and we left without another word.

When we got to the skip's house there was a single light on so we figured we'd gotten lucky about him being there. "He'll run," Ranger said before adding, "You take the front door, I'll slip around to the back."

I nodded, knowing that meant Ranger wanted to be the one to subdue him. Since I understood what he was after I decided to give my friend what he wanted and when I knocked on the door I announced, "Bond enforcement," loudly effectively announcing I was there to take him to jail and insuring he would make a run for it.

Luckily this jackass was predictable, because I could hear him knocking over things running to back door of his duplex apartment. I kicked in the door and got just close enough to see him pick up a knife and open the back door to run for it. "Knife," I yelled as a warning.

I heard the skip attempt to intimidate Ranger and I could picture him brandishing the knife as though he thought Ranger would step aside and let him pass. A second later I heard flesh hitting flesh and from the sound of it the skip was trying to put up a fight. By the time I got to the back Ranger had the skip in cuffs and was holding him tightly under the arm with the knife on the ground in front of him.

"You okay?" I asked.

He nodded once, "Bobby can give me a Band-Aid at the office for the scratch, but that was the most fun I've had in a while."

"You better not let Bomber hear you say that," I teased him, taking the other side of the skip and helping to drag him back to the waiting SUV. My comment made him laugh and for a minute it felt like it used to when RangeMan was first starting out and Ranger and I rounded up most of the skips ourselves. There were some crazy captures during those first couple of years, but we always had a good time.

We dropped him off for a receipt at the cop shop and made our way back to Haywood, laughing and talking about how we needed to hold a few more files back from now on so that we could have some of the fun too.

We exited the stairwell and went to Steph's office surprised to see Lester sitting in the hallway leaning against her door typing on his keyboard.

Ranger stood there waiting for an explanation without actually asking for one.

Lester broke first and said, "I waited an hour and hadn't seen her so I figured she might wake up any minute and I didn't want her to be alone. I sat here to listen for her in case she needed something."

"Did she?" I asked.

Les hopped up and shook his head."Nope, completely quiet."

As he walked away Ranger put his hand on Les' shoulder, tilted his head toward the office door, and said, "Thanks man."

"Anytime," Les responded with a slightly confused expression. It seemed that anytime Ranger tried to express his appreciation to the guys for helping with Steph in some way they didn't know how to respond. It was kind of funny that we were prepared for anything except good manners.

_Stephanie's POV_

"Alright Steph, you're all set today." Bobby announced, giving me permission to open my eyes after my chemo treatment was over. Dr. M had authorized Bobby to set up the IV himself and had a nurse just verify the medication was complete before I was done. My arms were already sporting some intense looking discoloration from the treatments I'd endured so far. I knew the longer this went on the worse my veins would get, so having someone I trusted doing the poking made it much easier to endure. Plus, this was probably the fastest I'd gotten in and out so I was very pleased with the new system.

"Is there anywhere you want to go today?" Ranger asked when we walked out to the parking lot.

"I promised Masterson I would stop by his store on the way home today. He had some concerns about the break-in over the weekend and I need to address his accusation that RangeMan some how failed him," I explained.

"Babe, if you want to go back to Haywood I can visit with him later today. That way you could rest," Ranger offered unsure if I was really up to a client visit.

"There's plenty of time for that later," I disagreed. "I did the research yesterday and I want to get this done while it's fresh in my mind."

I could tell he wasn't happy about it, but he didn't press it anymore and put the car in gear heading into town.

When the bell above the door announced our presence Mr. Masterson came toward us with a hand extended to take mine. "Stephanie, it's so good to see you again." His voice had an edge to it as though he were saying he liked seeing me but Ranger he wasn't too sure about it. I swallowed down the instinct I had to correct the client's rude manners.

After some initial small talk, I jumped right in. "Mr. Masterson, after we talked I went back and pulled the initial sales documents and it appears that Mr. Manoso recommended there be sensors on the back windows but you initialed the deletion of them from your service contract. You also refused a camera at the back of the store which might have alerted us sooner in order to prevent the damage to your lovely store." The compliment wasn't lost on him and he deflated a little.

"We have reset the sensors and can monitor your store the same as we always have," I began to lay out what I wanted from him, "Or, we can add some sensors to the windows and a camera pointed to the back of the store as we originally proposed, which would offer you much greater protection than you currently have."

He shook his head and said, "Why do I get the feeling you just led me to where you wanted me to be?" I smiled my winning smile and pulled a contract out of the folder I'd brought in with me, already prepared for him to agree to a better program.

When we finished I looked to the right as we approached the door. "Oh, Mr. Masterson," I said sadly looking at the display case where the charm bracelets had been the last time I was here. He noticed my gaze and held a finger up in a wait gesture.

Pulling the keys from his wrist he unlocked a cabinet and pulled out the same bracelet that I had held last time and handed it to me. "Strangely enough, I locked this up after you were here the last time, so it wasn't damaged." I looked at the bracelet once more, amazed at how beautiful it was. Each charm told a story yet together they blended so that it wasn't obtrusive or gaudy. I liked it even more this time but the price tag was the same so reluctantly I gave it back after thanking him for letting me look once more.

Back in the car Ranger asked what was so special about that bracelet and I shrugged. "I don't know really, but I like the idea of it. How you can change the charms out yet it looks more mature and less noisy than a traditional charm bracelet." I could see Ranger's mind turning so I quickly interrupted and said, "But before you get carried away the price tag on it is outrageous, so I do not want you to do anything ridiculous like purchasing it for me."

He began driving home with the sweetest expression on his face. It was like he was twelve and I'd just told him he wasn't going to get any gifts for Christmas. I looked away to keep from laughing.

"Lunch?" Ranger finally asked as we neared the office.

I made a face telling him I wasn't all that interested in eating. It didn't surprise me at all when he took a right at the next stop light and pulled into Shorty's parking lot.

I nodded, realizing he wasn't going to let it go until I ate something so I may as well humor him. We walked in and it was nearing 1:30 so the lunch crowd was dying down.

Shorty was stirring a mystery sauce in a big steel pot on the stove but he turned around quickly when the back door of his kitchen opened. He sat the spoon in his hand down beside the stove top and came over to hug me tightly. "Hey Little Girl, you ready for lunch?"

I wrinkled my nose instead of answering honestly and he chuckled at my expression. "I've got just the thing," he assured me before pointing to my stool for me to sit down.

I had just finished washing my hands and getting our drinks when Shorty came over with two plates. Ranger raised an eyebrow, clearly unsure of what Shorty had brought. I was equally confused so I didn't say anything, hoping it would be explained.

"It's mac and cheese with a special blend of cheeses to cut the grease and fat. Then I mixed in some broccoli and spinach. You won't be able to taste much of either but they'll give you a little extra boost. There's some fruit on the side too. It's mixed in some juice so the flavor should work for you but if you don't like something let me know and we'll try something else." He explained while handing me a plastic fork and giving Ranger a standard stainless one.

"What's with the kiddie fork?" I asked, wondering if he was afraid to give me real utensils now. Shorty laughed and said, "It will help you to taste the food and not hone in on the metallic taste of the silverware." I hadn't thought about it so I shrugged and took a bite, pleased that the flavor from the chemo wasn't overpowering the food he brought. I was getting just enough of the cheesy goodness that I was happily eating along in my own little world.

When I began to feel full I stopped, not wanting to over do it. I looked at Ranger's plate and smiled. He had eaten everything. I never thought I'd see the day when he'd eat macaroni and cheese for lunch. It wasn't yellow and bubbling like I usually wanted it, but Shorty was right, it wasn't greasy either so I was happy.

When he came over to check my plate he rubbed the back of his index finger over my cheek and nodded. I knew I had done well when he put a small box in my hands and said, "For later." My panties were instantly soaked. The last time I opened a box like this from Shorty it was full of cobbler and Ranger and I had a wonderful time enjoying it and each other together. I braved a glance at Ranger's face and the dark color of his eyes told me his mind was in the same place as mine without even checking to see what was in my hands.

"Let's go," Ranger growled lowly in my ear when Shorty left to yell at a waitress who was putting her fingers in the tops of the cups she was about to carry out to customers.

_Tank's POV_

The core team meeting was once a month and usually took several hours to get through. It wasn't that we had that much business to cover, but we got off track often so it was like taking every side road possible to get to a simple destination.

Today was no different as I sat in my chair, wondering how many digs Ranger was going to let Lester get in before he got sick and tired of it and cut him off. When it was just the four of us Ranger was a lot more relaxed and it reminded me of the early days in the army when the four of us went on missions, thinking we were saving the world.

I had to admit that Les had a point. Ranger did have a certain glow, for lack of a better word. It was more that he couldn't get rid of the shit eating grin from his face no matter how hard he tried to get his blank face in place. His cousin just couldn't let it go and kept making remarks about some of Ranger's noisier closed door meetings of late.

We had already covered the business side and the operations and now we only had the building, which was usually a quick two minute listing of any problems we were aware of that hadn't been addressed by Louis. When Ranger asked if anything needed to be addressed in the building, Lester couldn't help himself. "I think we need to have Louis talk to some contractors about altering the main offices with some sound proofing panels."

Ranger's fist hit the table and I was afraid that Les had finally tried one too many jokes. But when I looked at Ranger I saw him struggle for less than a second to get his pissed off face on before he failed miserably and busted out laughing instead. That was all it took for the rest of us to join in and by the time we were pulling ourselves together once more, Ranger was talking with a big smile on his face.

"Steph would kill me if she knew we were talking about this. I'm sorry about last week. I know it wasn't professional and it's not something I would normally allow. But when she came to me I wasn't able to think straight long enough to get her upstairs." Ranger offered as an apology.

"It's alright man," Lester was the first to respond. "At least we know despite what the drugs might be doing to her system that her lungs are still in good shape."

"Based on her endurance that's not all that's in good shape," Bobby dared to add.

I decided Ranger might need a little help ending this meeting so I decided to ask, "How's she doing, other than what these two jokers are aware of?"

The laughter dropped immediately. Ranger looked at me and then moved his gaze to the door as though the answer were written there if he stared at it hard enough. "I don't know," he finally offered. "Sometimes I think she's doing amazing. Like today at Mastersons, she went in there in total control, got him to admit the break in over the weekend could have been avoided if he'd let us install the system we originally wanted to, and then got a new contract signed for increased security. She ate a great lunch at Shorty's too. But by the time we got back here she was struggling to keep her eyes open. I put her to bed a few hours ago and I'm guessing since she hasn't come back down that she's still asleep."

"How about at night?" Bobby asked, as though he knew something the rest of us didn't.

"It depends," Ranger tried explaining. "At the beach she was fine, but I'd lay money on the fact that tonight will be rough for her. If she has trouble holding her dinner down then the meds to keep her nausea at bay help, but even with that she's just restless. I can hear her mumbling but I can't understand what she's saying and then sometimes…" he paused like he was seeing something right in front of him that was hidden to the rest of us.

"Sometimes she slips out of bed and just looks at herself in the mirror. I expected it right after the surgery but she's still doing it and I don't know how to help her understand that I just don't look it at it the way she does." He confessed in a rare display of concern for the woman who obviously held his heart. The fact that he was talking about this at all showed me how much it hurt to watch her suffer.

Trying to keep it from getting too depressing Lester spoke up, "Well it _sounds_ like you're doing everything you can to make her understand that you still think she's attractive." Bobby smacked his head but Ranger smiled, which helped to draw the meeting to a close.

When we stood up to leave I told him, "You know we'll all do anything we can to help, right?" He nodded that he knew that. But I also understood that it would take a true emergency before Ranger would allow that woman to have a need that he wouldn't try to meet for her.

We split up and the boss went upstairs to check on Steph, leaving the rest of us feeling helpless. That raw feeling that something horrible was happening in front of us yet there was nothing we could do to stop it was getting harder to manage. I could see the changes in Ranger already from the strain of caring for Steph. Of course he loved her, and there was no where else he would want to be, but it couldn't be denied that the time he spent by her side, holding her at night, came at a cost.

The rest of us were changing too and we weren't even fighting this thing on the front line. That was just it, we were being attacked, yet there was nothing for us to fight. Maybe there was a reason that the gym seemed to be getting more use than ever before.


	19. Hair

_The characters belong to JE. I get no credit for them._

_Fredda (Rangergirl1234) I can't thank you enough for working through every chapter so quickly as the beta on this story._

**Chapter 19 - Hair**

_Stephanie's POV_

"Ranger, you have to go," I said without much force behind my words.

His lips grazed my neck with his hands moving along my side. "Five more minutes," he promised.

"Is that long enough?" I wondered, knowing full well he could easily get me from zero to over the cliff in less time than that if he put his mind to it.

His chest began to shake with laughter as he responded, "Probably not for what I want to do, but I'm willing to give it my best shot if you want to time me."

I found the strength to sit up slightly and push him away. "You're going to miss your plane if you don't get moving."

He closed the distance I had tried to put between us and countered, "It's a private plane, Babe. They can't leave without me."

"True, but I don't think your appointment in DC will wait forever," I pointed out, feeling him back down at my reminder that he needed to make this appointment on time. While Ranger's private contract with the government no longer required him to go on missions with the military, he was still contacted by other agencies that needed his skills in maintaining a cover long term or getting information from suspects working around some of the restrictions the government had to operate under. It was time for RangeMan to renegotiate their contract with the other agencies they worked with and the only person that could sign this type of contract was Ranger.

He let out a long breath and said, "Are you sure?" He'd asked me this question regularly in one form or another since he got the call for the appointment last week. While I appreciated his concern about leaving me, I refused to let him loose this contract or put his life on hold just because I was sick.

"I've got plenty of work to do today to keep me busy. When I'm tired I'll come up here for a nap and I promise to eat dinner tonight. You'll be back tomorrow morning and we can pick this up where we left off," I promised him.

Ranger pulled himself together and I pulled myself up from the couch where I had been laying down for a rest. Drawing me into his arms, he placed a series of tender kisses on my lips showing me how much he didn't want to go. "I'll be fine and I promise not to fuss at the guys when they are constantly checking up on me," I added knowing that would put his mind at ease.

I escorted him to the garage where Woody was waiting in an SUV to take him to the airstrip where the RangeMan plane would whisk him off to Washington. A final kiss beside the truck and Ranger disappeared for the next twenty-four hours. It was Friday and I needed to get payroll processed, but other than that and a few client calls, I didn't have that much to do to keep me occupied. I decided to just go ahead upstairs, despite having on jeans and a RangeMan sweatshirt, and get the work out of the way while I was still energetic enough to get through it. Experience had taught me that I had a window of about three hours in the morning to get stuff done before I needed a nap. I might have a couple of hours of productivity in the afternoon on a good day, so anything I couldn't get finished up now would have to wait until then.

I got my computer booted up and I began working my way through the time sheets, entering the information into the spreadsheet I'd set up months ago with Tank. When I was finished the spreadsheet could be submitted electronically to our payroll processing company and the paychecks would be waiting on the guys next week. It was an easy system but I needed to be careful because the guys weren't great at tallying up their hours and sometimes I remembered them being called in on extra shifts that they would forget about when writing down their hours. Every time I went through the paper time sheets I promised myself that I was going to look into some sort of electronic time entry system to avoid this problem. I'd have to put that on my list of things to get done someday.

I kept plugging away and smiled when I hit submit on the spreadsheet knowing the most important thing I needed to finish was done. I stretched back in my chair as my phone rang.

"Good morning, RangeMan." I answered as politely as possible assuming it was a client.

"Stephanie," my mother's voice came through. "I just finished a big batch of cookies and wondered if you might want your father to drop some off for you this afternoon?"

My mom had been baking a lot lately and every time something new came out of the oven she would call and offer to have my dad drop it off for me. I think it was her way of checking on me without nagging about how I was doing. I thought about her offer for a few minutes and then replied, "How about I swing by this afternoon and pick them up?" I didn't have anything else that needed my attention and I knew that it would mean a lot to them if I came over. I couldn't handle dinner but I could stay for half an hour and bring back the cookies to the guys. Half of her baked goods I'd been giving away. The guys were more than willing to eat her cooking and as far as I knew mom believed she was still getting me to eat so it was a win-win situation.

"I'll be home all afternoon, Stephanie. It would be wonderful to see you," she replied obviously thrilled with the idea of me coming over. I felt slightly guilty about not spending more time with them. I hadn't been to the Burg in nearly two weeks and I knew the longer it went the more she worried. The timing of this couldn't be better. I'd rest now and then I'd use my afternoon energy to visit with my family. After that I'd be too exhausted to miss Ranger and by the time I'd wake up again he would be that much closer to being home.

I was beginning to feel run down and knew I needed to get upstairs soon. The last few weeks had taught me that if I could go to bed before I was too exhausted then I was able to keep my stomach settled. But if I fought through it to stay awake, I would get nauseous and then violently sick. A nap was pretty appealing right now.

I stopped by Tank's office to fill him in on my plan for the day. "I'm going upstairs for a nap and this afternoon I'm going to drop by my parent's house. Is that okay?"

He looked up at me and smiled, "What's she got for us today?" He asked, knowing I had been lured over with the promise of baked goods.

"Cookies, but she didn't say what kind," I replied waving at him and turning to head to the elevator.

"Grab some lunch before you get in bed," he yelled out as I retreated. I hadn't figured lunch into my routine.

"Yes, Mom," I teased in return, continuing to make my way slowly to the elevator.

On seven I could still hear Tank's words echoing in my head so I went to the fridge and grabbed a bottle of Ensure, shaking it and pouring it into an insulated glass. I had learned that trying to drink anything out of a can was a huge mistake as it tasted like nothing but metal and guaranteed I'd gag my way through it. I tried to drink the whole thing but only got a little over half down before my body told me to quit. This time I listened and sat the unfinished portion on the kitchen cabinet while making my way to the bedroom.

I kicked off my sneakers and climbed in Ranger's side of the bed inhaling his scent on the pillow and feeling sleep take me away as soon as my eyes began to close.

Three hours later I woke up and stayed still for a few minutes to be sure my body was okay. I had learned to take it easy when getting up in order to help my stomach stay settled. Sensing everything was alright my hand went to my head to scratch an itch and I felt the mess that was on top of my head after my nap. Since I had some time before my mom would expect me I decided to take a shower and see if a little water would help tame my curls.

I turned on the shower and looked at myself in the mirror while waiting for it to warm up. My head was still itching so I scratched it a little harder and when I pulled my hand back out I noticed it was covered in a mass of curls that had come loose. I looked at it and then back up to the reflection in the mirror unsure what was happening. Did I scratch that hard? Did my hand pull our a mat of tangles and I just didn't feel it?

I slowly put both hands in my hair and ran my fingers through the curls like loose toothed combs. There were a few pulls here and there but nothing major. When my fingers reached the ends, both hands had long strands of hair clinging to them no longer attached to my head. "No," I said aloud to the mirror. I can't be losing my hair; Bobby said most people with curly hair didn't lose it. I had been clinging to that hope thinking this beast I had to tame every day of my life had to be good for something. I knew my hair had lost some of its shine and Mr. Alexander had given Ranger some ungodly expensive shampoo and conditioner to help fight off the drying and frizzing the chemo would cause. But I had been clinging to the promise that even if it wasn't as vibrant, it would still be there. I repeated the process of running my fingers through my hair, beginning to cry when each pass would produce a new handful of lose hair.

I decided to stop running my hands through it hoping if I quit pulling on it then it would stay put. I jumped in the shower and washed it as gently as I could not running my fingers through it but working the shampoo in soft circles against my scalp, avoiding any pulling at all. I rinsed it and then applied the conditioner in much the same way. I stood in the steamy water for a while after I was done trying to let the heat relax the tension in my shoulders. That's when I noticed the water was beginning to pool around my feet.

That was strange. As long as I'd been staying in this building I'd never known it to have any plumbing issues. I shut the water off immediately, not wanting to cause an overflow that would make more work for Ella to clean up or Louis to repair. The water was draining, just slowly which was a relief. Maybe the drain was just clogged. I put a towel around my head tying it up like a turban and used one of the big bath sheets to wrap around my body. When I heard the drain gurgle, signaling the water had finished draining, I glanced at the drain and then felt my knees give out. At the bottom of the shower was a large pile of brown curls that I knew used to be on my head. There was no clog in the pipes; my hair had just been blocking the drain so that the water couldn't go down. It was shocking to see it laying there.

I dried off my body with the towel I had wrapped around me. Completely avoiding the mirror I put on a button up denim shirt and a pair of black boot cut jeans. I put on a little make-up working around the towel on my head trying to avoid looking at what condition my remaining hair was in for as long as possible. Finally, I knew I had put it off as long as I could so I flipped my head upside down and unwound the towel rubbing my hair gently to get any remaining water out of it.

I glanced at the towel when I was done and saw clumps of hair sitting on it and falling to the floor. I had no idea this is what would happen if I lost my hair. I thought I'd have a more gradual thinning that I could work with Mr. Alexander to hide. But at this rate, I was genuinely afraid to see what might be left on my head. And even if there was some left up there, would there be big patches of skin showing through too?

Finally I mustered up the courage to look in the mirror. My hands flew up to the top of my head as my greatest fear was being reflected to me. If I had to guess I would say that half of my hair was gone. I could see my scalp on top and in a few places on the side. I ran my hand to the back of my head and realized it still felt thick back there, but in the front it was obviously falling out. I couldn't pull it up to hide it as moving it around in different styles only highlighted how little remained on the top and side. Plus, every time I touched it a little more fell out.

"Damn it!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. As if this disease hadn't already taken away enough from me, now it was stealing my hair too. Part of my breast was missing and I had to stuff my bra for the first time since I was twelve. I had no energy and no ability to enjoy food. My sex drive was disappearing little by little because of the amount of energy it takes to enjoy it. My concentration was suffering, my nails were all brittle and chipped, and now I had no hair. Was I even a woman anymore? All the things that defined me were being stripped away and now I couldn't even hide behind my mass of hair.

I walked out of the bathroom and saw the clock on the nightstand showing me that it was 3:30. I knew I needed to get a move on if I was going to make it to my parent's house but there was no way I was going out in public looking like this. I considered trying to pull my hair up into a ponytail and hiding it under a cap, but when I used my hands to pull it up more came out, so I screamed in defeat.

I picked up the phone and called Tank. "You ready for a lift?" He asked in lieu of a proper hello.

"No," I bit out trying to keep the tears from robbing my voice.

"Change of plans?" He asked, suddenly more serious.

"I'm not going out at all," I said hoping he wouldn't ask for an explanation.

Tank proved himself once more to be the greatest of friends when he said, "How about I send Ram over to pick up the cookies and tell your mom you were still feeling run down so you decided to just stay in today?"

It seemed like a believable excuse so I said, "Thank you," and hung up before he had a chance to ask what the real reason was. I knew it was rude, that I should have said good bye, but I didn't think my voice would hold out for any more conversation so I tried to push the guilt away.

I threw myself on the bed in my thinking position, figuring it didn't matter if I flattened the back of my hair while it was wet because it was going to look like shit no matter what. I stayed that way for half an hour before I heard the unmistakable sound of someone letting themselves in. I grabbed a pillow and put it over my face, hoping whoever it was would take the hint and just leave.

_Tank's POV_

I hung up with Stephanie and knew something was wrong. If she was still tired she would have said so. We all understood her energy would come and go and Bobby had explained how her levels were going down every week, proving the chemo was killing off all kinds of healthy cells and leaving her exhausted. Dr. M was amazed she was still able to work at all in her condition. She'd canceled on us before when she just couldn't muster up the strength to keep pushing and it was fine, so I didn't think this was about energy. She sounded like she was trying to keep from crying, which tore at my heart.

But the biggest clue was that she hung up with out saying goodbye. Personally, I didn't care; it was an unnecessary way to end a conversation. But Steph made it a point to always say it, complaining that it was rude when we just hung up on her. Stephanie was never rude, so I knew something was wrong.

I decided just this once to invade her privacy on seven and see what was wrong. I let myself in and didn't see her so I figured she was in the bedroom. We had just gotten off the phone so I knew she wasn't sleep.

I called out at the door but when there was no response I began to make my way through the apartment. I saw her half empty glass of Ensure. She had been drinking it some to supplement her lack of appetite. But half wasn't enough to make up for missing lunch so I knew she was going to be worn down if that was all she had gotten in her.

I pressed on to the bedroom, saying her name once more and smiling when I saw her laying on the bed, completely dressed, with a pillow over her face.

I sat down beside her and said, "Little Girl, you've got some explaining to do."

"Why?" Came a muffled voice from under the pillow.

"You hung up on me without saying good-bye," I said with a smile.

"Sorry," Came her soft apology.

"Can we move the pillow so I can see you?" I asked, wondering why she had it there.

Her arms flew up and gripped it tightly, alarming me slightly with the worry that she might not be getting enough air flow. I put my hands over hers to try and pull them away but she fought me on it so I stopped, not wanting to upset her further.

"Can you tell me what's wrong?" I pleaded, completely at a loss about what was happening.

"I don't want to," she said after a brief pause, reminding me of a child who had gotten caught in the act of doing something wrong but refused to admit to it.

I took the hand closest to me in mine and held it tightly for a minute before saying, "It might help if you talk about it." I didn't know if that was true or not, but I needed her to tell me what was wrong so I'd know if I needed to do something to fix it.

I waited, pulling on all my strength not to grab the pillow and try to force her to talk. It wouldn't do any good and it might scare her so all I could do was hold her hand as a gentle reminder that I was there for her and would patiently wait until she was ready to talk.

"Can you at least give me a clue about what has you so upset?" I tried prompting once more to be sure she hadn't gone to sleep.

There was more silence but after a minute she finally said, "My hair."

I relaxed at once. She wouldn't go to her parent's house because she was having a bad hair day?

"That's all?" I asked, hoping she wasn't pulling my leg. "You are upset because of how your hair looks?"

"No," she replied quickly putting my gut into knots. "I'm upset over my hair because…" she stopped talking which did nothing for the condition of my gut.

She pulled her hand out of mine and grabbed the pillow once more. Worried that we were making backward progress, I let out a breath when I saw she was gradually pulling the pillow away. Just before she cleared her face completely she finished her thought, "Because my hair is gone."

I couldn't help but suck in a loud breath. When the pillow was gone I could tell exactly what had her so upset. Her hair that had been full this morning was nearly gone on the sides. I could see her pale head through the few dark curls that remained. It looked like there was a little more in the back, but because of how she was laying on it I couldn't be sure that was true.

Shit, I had to be the one here when she lost her hair, didn't I? The one person on staff with no hair, with no understanding of what this would feel like, was the one that was now forced to look in her tear filled blue eyes and convince her that it was alright.

My mind was flying with possible things to say as my editor nixed every one of them as either too flippant or too condescending. Finally I could see I was hesitating too long so the next phrase that passed through my brain came out. "I knew we had gotten a lot closer of the last couple of months, but I never expected you to try and look like me too."

I cringed as soon as the words left my mouth, afraid that humor wasn't appropriate right now. A single tear leaked from her eye down her cheek and I felt like someone had kicked me in the stomach, knocking my breath out. "I'm sorry," I told her wishing the world would somehow swallow me whole right now to keep me from sticking my foot in my mouth again.

But before I tried any more calming remarks she surprised me by giggling. It was a small sound at first but when my eyes met hers she grinned and it turned into an all out laugh. Once she got herself together she said, "Tank, what am I going to do? I can't go out with a head like this?"

Figuring humor had worked once already, I tried it once more. "Well, I agree that you don't have a head as nice looking as mine. But I think if you go out like this then people will do what they always do."

"What is that? Wait until I pass by and then talk about what a freak I am?" She asked with her raw nerves evident in every word.

"No," I stopped her pity party quickly. "They'll pull you to them to hold you close, wishing there was a way for you to absorb some of their strength to help you fight this."

I watched her put her hand over her eyes and cover her face once more. "I didn't think I was going to lose my hair. I had been taking all the other things okay, but this is humiliating."

I put my dark hand on her head and watched her eyes open as she focused on my face. I knew this was a test. If I showed any signs of laughing at her, or being put off by her appearance, then she would probably lock herself in this apartment refusing to be seen by anyone.

I stroked her head, grieving silently for the loss of her hair. Not because I thought she needed it, but because I knew she wanted it. She had to give up so much already to beat this disease that this seemed like a cruel thing to add to the list.

Bobby had warned us it was a possibility and he'd said a lot of people would just shave off the remaining hair once it began to let go. This was because it was easier to deal with it all gone, than having clumps that were missing and live with the constant threat of the rest of it falling out.

"You aren't going to hide up here because of this are you?" I asked, looking at my hand which now had a few clumps of her hair clinging to it instead of her scalp.

She nodded first, "That was my plan."

I smiled at her tone, not her words. "You know I can't let you do that, right?"

"I'm not ready for the guys to see this," she admitted. She stood up quickly which surprised me so I stayed put while she walked to the bathroom. I could hear her banging the drawers around and the sound of her brush running through her hair in quick, frustrated sounding strokes. I was just about to check on her when she made a strange screaming sound and the brush came flying out of the door into the bedroom. I was glad I hadn't been in the line of fire on that one; it would have left a mark.

I could hear the tears so I sucked up my feelings of inadequacy and rushed to her side, picking her up from the floor and getting a good look at her for the first time. More had come out when she brushed it and even though there was some in the back it still looked horrible. There was no hiding this. Hell, even if she put a hat on and pretended it was just pulled back in a ponytail it would be obvious that she didn't have much left.

I brought us to the living room and she cried on my chest for a half hour. All I could do was hold her to me, rubbing my hand up and down her back, praying she wouldn't give up because of this. As she began to quiet down I wondered if she were falling asleep. Her voice startled me when she said, "Can you call Ella and ask her to come up?"

I pulled out my cell phone and called Ella immediately, relieved when she said she would be up in five minutes. I passed the message along and Steph pulled herself off my lap and onto the cushion beside me. "Thanks for checking on me," she said without much enthusiasm. "And, I'm sorry I got your shirt wet again."

I pulled her head closer and placed a kiss on her forehead. "I'm not," I replied before adding, "I know you're upset but I'm glad I could be with you."

I heard Ella knock before letting herself in. She took one look at Stephanie and came rushing over to pull Steph into her arms. "My dear girl, it's going to be alright." She assured her as Steph's tears began anew.

I stood up, acutely aware that I wasn't needed here and said, "Stephanie, I'm heading out to get a little work done. I'm going to swing by my Uncle's and I'll bring you dinner at 6:00."

"Thanks Tank," she replied from the safety of Ella's loving arms. I let myself out and went straight down to five in search of Brown.

Bobby was in the break room with Santos, Cal and Woody. He raised an eyebrow when he caught sight of me and I pulled over a chair to sit down hard with them.

"What's up man, you look like shit," Lester said with his skills in announcing the incredibly obvious on display.

"It's Stephanie," I said not surprised to see every expression fall.

"What's wrong," Bobby asked flying immediately into medic mode.

"Nothing you can fix," I said knowing it was true.

"What is it?" Cal followed up, not happy with the thought something was wrong that we couldn't do anything about.

I ran my hand over my slick head and wondered if I would be betraying her by telling the guys. I finally decided it would be better if they knew so that they wouldn't stare in shock when she finally comes downstairs the next time.

"Her hair is falling out. Apparently it just started and most all of it on the top and sides is gone or thinned down and big chunks from the back are disappearing now. She's going to have to either shave it or keep it covered because there is no way she can disguise it." I told them.

Les stood up and walked to the refrigerator to put his back to us.

"Does it really just all fall out like that?" Woody asked Bobby.

Brown just shrugged in response. "Everybody is different. For some it never falls out, and for others it is such a gradual process they have weeks or months to get used to the idea. But for a few, it just seems to all come out at once. I guess Bomber is in that group."

"What can we do?" Cal asked.

"Nothing we can do," Brown replied thinking he was stating the obvious. It wasn't like we could put it back.

"Not to fix her hair, jackass," Cal barked back. "I mean, what can we do to make her feel better about it? I mean so she'll understand we love her with or without her hair."

Lester turned around at that and said, "I'm going to grab the clippers downstairs. Anybody got time to shave my head?"

"What?" I asked. I mean, at some point we had all shaved, or nearly shaved our heads for various assignments or injuries. We could all use the clippers so his request wasn't that far out.

"I mean, if Steph can't have hair then I don't want mine either. I want somebody to shave it off so hers won't be the only uncovered head down here when she finally gets up the courage to come downstairs again."

"I'm in," Cal agreed running his hand over his hair. It was pretty short anyway, but there was a big difference between short and gone and I wondered if these guys knew what they were signing up for.

"I'll do it," Woody volunteered, though I don't know if he meant he'd use the clippers on the guys or he'd let them do his head too.

Still, I could see they were warming up to the idea of showing support to Stephanie in anyway they could so I stepped back and said, "I'm going pick up some dinner for me and Steph at 1800 hours. I'll be sure there is enough to share so whoever wants to join us can come to my apartment and eat then. But to come in, you have to be sporting the new official RangeMan haircut." I ran my hand over my head as I said the last sentence.

The smile on their faces told me they liked the idea and I watched as they disappeared to find the clippers and shave off their hair. I couldn't help but notice a few more of the guys disappear over the afternoon and by 1730 when I left to pick up dinner, everybody I saw on the main floor had a head as slick as mine.

I set up the food my Uncle had prepared for us in the kitchen of my apartment and was surprised to see about a dozen guys arrive to show their support for our little girl. "I'll be right back," I announced knowing I now had the hard part of getting Stephanie to agree to come downstairs to eat dinner with me.

I knocked on her door and wasn't surprised to hear silence as the response. I let myself in and saw her standing at the window looking out over the city with her back to me. She had Ranger's Navy Seals hat on and since there was no hair coming out I assumed Ella had cut her hair this afternoon as well.

"Hungry?" I asked, wondering if I was going to have to throw her over my shoulder to get her to come downstairs with me. I wasn't opposed to doing that if I had to, but I hoped it wouldn't be required.

She shook her head no. "I can't face the guys like this," she said with sadness dripping from every word. "I can't be the one in the room with the least amount of hair," she added to make her point.

That I could at least address. "You won't be."

"It will just be you and me?" She asked, remembering I had no hair either.

"Not exactly," I tried to be honest without giving too much away either.

"Tank, I'm not in the mood for riddles," she admitted causing me to come to her side. I took her hand in mind and said, "I have a surprise for you." I began to lead her to the door and she followed me as I spoke. We were in the elevator heading to four when I said, "Don't be mad, but I told the guys about your hair this afternoon and they wanted to do something to show you how it didn't matter to us. We love you no matter what so…" by this point we were at my apartment and I opened the door to reveal a room full of cleanly shaved heads smiling at her.

"Bomber's here, let's get this party started." Cal yelled from in front of the television.

I looked at Steph and her hands were covering her mouth in surprise. "Tank, they've all shaved their heads," she said as though I wasn't aware of the lack of hair.

Les came over and hooked an arm around her neck placing a kiss on her cheek. "We decided you've always been fashionable so if you were going to try going for a while with no hair then it must be the new style at RangeMan, so we all followed suit."

Stephanie ran her hand over Lester's smooth head and big tears fell down her cheeks. Les noticed and pulled her to him. "Don't cry Beautiful. We just wanted you to know it wasn't your crazy curls that we loved about you. We knew you'd stick by us with no hair and we wanted to show you the same was true for you."

She cried even harder making me think this had been a huge mistake. But when Lester let her go she flung herself to me and I held her as she cried and then confessed, "No one has ever done something like this for me. I can't believe you guys did this for me."

"We'd do more than this if we just knew what would help," I told her with a kiss to her hat.

She pulled back and wiped her tears in an attempt to pull herself together. "Well, if you want to do something helpful, I could use a few more hats; maybe something besides black or navy?"

A few of the guys heard her comment and I knew beginning tomorrow there would be a steady stream of hats arriving on that girl's desk.

We ate and I was pleased to see her manage to work on the special plate Uncle sent over for her. She didn't eat it all, but she made good progress. Bobby checked on her and brought over some Ensure just to fill in the nutrition gaps when her appetite didn't allow her to eat anymore.

A few hours later she was exhausted but didn't seem to be in a hurry to get back upstairs alone. I smiled when I realized how familiar a position we were in. I was on the floor with Steph's head in my lap. She hadn't taken off her hat, but she hadn't avoided us either so I felt like we'd just won a major victory. Les had laid down with his head on her hip and half an hour ago Bobby came over and collapsed on the sofa, checking on her in her sleep. He shut off the lamp and something told me this is exactly how we'd be when the sun came up in the morning.

Hopefully I could get her out of here before Ranger got home. He seemed to appreciate us caring for her the last time but seeing us all cozy again might give him the wrong impression.

She let out a sigh in her sleep and I tightened my grip on her, not really caring about Ranger's impression all of a sudden. For one of the few times in my life I felt like I was a part of something huge and noble today. I'd done a lot of things in my life that I was ashamed of, but helping to stop Stephanie from hiding ashamed in her apartment was something I'd remember like a badge of honor.


	20. A Turn for the Worse

_Characters below are all the property and creation of JE._

_Fredda (Rangergirl1234) thank you so much for all your work as the beta on this story._

**Chapter 20 – A Turn for the Worse**

_Stephanie's POV_

"Babe, I thought your time in the bathroom would be markedly shorter with no hair to be fixed," Ranger called out from his perch on the bed.

I had tried three different scarves on my head, trying to get one that would wrap around and look fashionable instead of looking like I was just covering up a bald head. Just because that's what I was actually doing didn't mean I wanted to give that impression to everybody. My arms were beginning to tremble from having them raised over my head for so long so I finally just gave up, resigning myself to wearing another hat from my growing collection.

I walked out and sat on the bed next to Ranger. He put an arm around me and pulled me into his side so that I could rest my head against his chest. He brought his free hand up to cup my cheek, holding me tightly to him before leaning down and placing a kiss on my smooth head.

When my hair began to fall out I had hoped I could cover it up and adjust to the idea slowly. But within the span of two hours it became obvious that it was coming out so fast I couldn't delay the inevitable and I asked Ella to cut it all off. That night, Tank made me come down to dinner in his apartment and all the guys had shaved their heads as a sign of support for me. The memory of that moment made me tear up every time I thought about it.

In the early hours of the morning after, Ranger came to Tank's apartment and found me surrounded by his core team, sleeping in his Seal's cap. He lifted me from Tank's grasp, which was easier said than done because Tank had a grip on me like I was his own personal teddy bear and he was not happy about having to give up his lovey.

Upstairs Ranger laid me in the center of our bed in the darkness of the bedroom and stripped himself down. Then he took the hat off of my head and threw it aside before removing my clothes slowly. I felt protected by the shadows of the room and did not fight him in stripping my defenses away. He kissed his way from my toes up to my mouth and then he entered me completely. He kept me pulled as close as possible to him while still allowing us the ability to move. There was nothing forceful or hurried about our coupling. Our bodies were in perfect harmony, singing a tune only they knew the rhythm to and when our release came it brought tears to my eyes, feeling that we were truly one.

Not allowing us to separate, Ranger pulled me on top of him and ran his hands up and down my back. Each time they came up they went slightly higher, at first stopping at my shoulder blades, then proceeding to my shoulder, my neck, and finally to the back of my head where hair had been just twenty-four hours earlier. I wanted to push his hands away but I knew I needed to let him see how bad it really was.

"You know I don't care," he finally said, assuring me of his love with or without the curls we were both accustomed to.

"I know," I replied feeling it was true. But I had to add, "You don't care, but I do." We spent the next hour talking and I told him how I felt this was the final straw of sacrifice for this disease and how it made me question what made me a woman and how he could possibly look at me the same.

"I don't look at you the same," he cut in. "I see this as one more sign of how even though your body's strength is being robbed from you, your heart's strength is growing day by day. I'll miss your curls but I couldn't love you any more than I do right now. I still want you by my side, and my body is still drawn to yours in ways so strong I can't fight it. I've told you before, this is just the wrappings. I want what's inside."

I listened to him and in my heart I felt the truth of his words and accepted them. I knew I needed him with me to survive the next few weeks, so I just needed to get over it and let him see me. With my new found determination I reached across him and turned on the bedside lamp. His hands lifted to run his fingertips over my head and his eyes lingered at the changes that occurred since he left the day before. "I'm sorry I wasn't here," he finally said sadly.

I touched my finger tip to his cheek and assured him, "It wouldn't have made a difference. I would have pushed you away, terrified to let you see me while it was falling out."

We took the morning off and spent it mostly in bed. I was relieved to have such a restful morning and I think Ranger just needed the time to assure himself I was alright. By the time we emerged and went downstairs we were both feeling stronger. I still wasn't willing to let the guys see my head without something covering it, but after seeing how great everyone had been about it the night before, I refused to hide in shame either.

Ranger pulled me from my memories by kissing my head once more. "Are you sure you want to go?" He asked, bringing me back to the reason I had been struggling to cover up my head in the first place. My nieces were both in a play for the holidays at their school and I had promised to be there. I had spent so much time resting or being sick over the last two weeks and I wanted to get out and do something to be a part of my family. The girls both had speaking parts and had worked hard over the last few months and I wanted to be there to see them. It only required that I get dressed and sit in a chair. Ranger could get me out of there as soon as it was over.

I nodded my determination and then went back in the bathroom to try one more time to wrap my head in a scarf. This time I did it and had a tail left to hang down the back and come around to my shoulder. It was actually sort of fashionable.

Pleased with my success, I came out with a smile which Ranger took as my desire to leave. He picked up my bag and held his hand out to me. The play was lovely and the girls were both adorable. I sat in my chair when it was over and Valerie brought them over to me so I could tell them how beautiful they both were and how much we enjoyed seeing them. Mary Alice clung to me a little tighter and didn't seem to want to let go, pressing her little face right against mine and peppering my cheek with little kisses. When she finally went to a group of her friends standing to the side I looked at Valerie who explained, "She's missed seeing you and she's had a bit of a cold. I think any time she's sick she tends to be more clingy."

Ranger's eyes hardened at the mention of a cold. He wasn't upset with Mary Alice, if anything he had a secret soft spot for my niece with the independent nature. But he knew I was supposed to avoid crowds since my immune system was severely compromised because of the chemo. Having a ball of germs holding onto me greatly increased my chances of getting sick, which was something I had been trying to avoid at all costs. But seeing her bright face convinced me it didn't matter.

By the time we were back at Haywood I had more than expended my energy stores and Ranger literally had to carry me to the bed. He carefully unwrapped my scarf, knowing I slept best with nothing between me and the pillow, and then he pulled off my clothes replacing them with the t-shirt he'd been wearing under his dress shirt. I thanked him but my exhaustion made it sound more like a moan than words. He kissed my head and said, "You're welcome," before walking out and shutting the door behind him. He would come to bed later, long after sleep had taken me in its grasp.

_Tank's POV_

I was half way through my work out when Ranger came in the gym. We both tended to get in early before the other guys so the room was virtually empty. "How was your night at the theatre?" I teased him, referencing the command performance at Steph's neices' play.

"Joke all you want," he retorted. "I'll send you to the next one and convince Edna that you insisted on escorting her."

I couldn't help but shudder at that image which gave Ranger a big laugh. "Seriously, how did Steph like it?" I asked.

Ranger jumped on the treadmill next to mine before responding, "It was cute and she was thrilled to be there. Once it was over she sat in her seat and her nieces came over to talk to her. Then I had to help her walk to the car and by the time we got here she couldn't even stand. It's like when her energy begins to go, it's just gone."

"I'll bet it makes it a little easier to know that she's only got one more week of treatment though, right?" I asked, hoping my reminder that they were almost done would be considered good news.

"She's got the infusion that was pushed to this afternoon and the last one on Thursday, plus a final pill on Friday night and then she is officially done." Ranger spelled it out, rehearsing it more for his own benefit than mine.

I think every man at RangeMan knew exactly what she had left. Each week we had watched her body break down a little more. Over the last three months she had gone from our energetic Bomber to a real shell of her former self. Still, every one of us admired her grit to get up every day and come downstairs to work. She worked less hours every week but she refused to give it up completely, as though it would be admitting to some kind of defeat.

"What happens when she's done?" I asked, trying to stay focused on the positive.

Ranger shrugged not breaking his stride. "Dr. M said they'll run a whole battery of tests and then Steph will have to keep coming back for regular blood work while her body is recovering from the chemo. Once she's leveled off, if her body is still clean, they'll term her in remission and then we'll go to checks every six months for a couple of years and annual ones after that." I was encouraged that he was still wording it as though she had beaten this disease. We had to assume victory, anything less would not be something we could accept.

"Think we'll see her this morning?" I wondered, trying to keep him talking.

Ranger smiled. That was the reaction I was hoping for. "She'll be down," he assured me. With that, I left him to finish his workout in peace.

It was nearly lunch by the time I stepped out of my office. I'd been running some searches on a skip we'd been struggling to pick up and hoped I could come up with something to provide a lead to get this guy but so far I was drawing blanks. It seemed we'd already tried everything.

I decided to take a break and try it one more time with a fresh set of eyes. I went to Steph's office first to say hello to her for the day and to tell her how much harder it was on us when we had to run our own background searches, but the light was still off. I knocked on Ranger's door and walked in without waiting for an invitation.

He had an eyebrow raised as though asking why I even bothered knocking if I wasn't going to wait for an invitation to enter. "Get over it," I replied, smiling at the brief look of surprise on his face. "Bomber not make it in yet?" I asked.

He looked confused. "She's not in her office?"

"The light's off, so I figured she hadn't gotten down here yet." I explained, stepping out of his way so he could double check that I hadn't missed her presence somehow when I looked the first time.

He unclipped his cell phone and checked for missed calls but didn't have any. "I thought I heard her in there earlier, so I haven't bothered to check on her. I'll run upstairs just to be sure she's okay," he said explaining himself more than usual. It's like the less Steph talked the more he had begun to. The guys had noticed it too but after a few sessions on the mats with me, they'd dropped it as a topic of conversation.

I went into the break room for some lunch and sat with Bobby and Lester. Lester was just beginning to tell us about a girl he hooked up with over the weekend when Bobby's cell phone rang.

"Boss," he answered letting us all know it was Ranger. My heart sank. The only reason he would be calling now was if something were wrong with Stephanie.

"How high?" He asked, completely leaving us out of the conversation. "Shit!" He growled, slamming his fist on the table and making the bottles of water jump. Finally he said, "I'll call Dr. M now and then I'll be up to check on her, but I'm almost certain she's going to have to go to the hospital for this so you might want to prepare her."

He snapped his phone shut and all three of us stood. Bobby ran his hand over his head and gave us a summary. "Steph's running a fever of a hundred and three and her breathing is wheezy. She's gotten an infection of some sort and because of the chemo her body can't fight it off. I need you guys to get an SUV and back it up to the elevator. I'll call you if we don't need it, but something tells me we're in for a trip to St. Francis."

Lester and I took off to the garage to clean out the back of an Explorer. We weren't sure if she'd be okay in the back seat or if she'd need to lie down in the back, but we were determined to be prepared no matter what.

_Stephanie's POV_

It was so cold. I knew I needed to get up and get dressed for the day, but I just couldn't get myself out of bed. My chest hurt every time I took a deep breath and I could swear I could hear something rattling in there too. That was strange; when I went to sleep last night I was fine.

I heard Ranger open the door and come straight to the bedroom which told me I'd probably slept even longer than I meant to, but I couldn't stop shivering and getting out from under the covers wasn't sounding like fun to me right now.

"Babe?" Ranger asked while sitting on the edge of the bed near me. He ran a hand over my cheek and then pressed it above my eyes and over my hair free head. His hand was cool, which was strange. Normally I would consider his hands warm but it would be just my luck that the one day I needed something hot he wouldn't be putting out his portable heater vibes.

He got up quickly, which I didn't appreciate at all, and then returned to press something in my ear. It didn't hurt and when it beeped I jumped, not expecting to hear a mini-alarm so close to my head.

The next thing I knew he was on the phone. I had to assume it was Bobby because he said, "I need you to come take a look at Stephanie. She's not gotten up today and she has a fever." There was a brief pause before he stated, "A hundred and three and every time she takes a breath, I can hear crackling in her chest."

His phone snapped shut after that and I knew pretty soon I'd hear Bobby come in too. When I heard my symptoms detailed by Ranger it began to make sense why I felt so awful.

Ranger fished one of my hands out of the covers and held it between his. I guess it wasn't so much that his hands were cool as it was mine were hot, so comparatively I was the furnace today.

Soon I heard Bobby and Ranger talking but it was hard to hang onto the thread of their conversation. My mind was in a fog, making focus really hard.

Bobby sat on the bed and repeated the exercise of taking my temperature before pulling the covers down slightly and listening through a stethoscope on my back. He stood up and walked away while talking to someone on the phone. I assumed it was Dr. M but I couldn't catch enough to be sure.

I was aware that Ranger sat back down next to me and pulled the covers back up under my chin before using his hand to rub firmly on my back. He was helping to warm me up and I could feel my shivering begin to die down from the close contact with him.

"Thank you," I mumbled, being rewarded with a kiss on my cheek.

Bobby eventually returned and announced I needed to go to the hospital. I tried to argue the point but it came out as a series of unintelligible whines that were not very lady like.

"Steph, I know you hate hospitals but an infection right now is a life threatening condition for you. We need to get this fever down and pump you with antibiotics to counter the effects of whatever is going on inside you. Sophia is canceling her next appointment and will meet us there in order to check on you herself. She was pretty worried and I know you don't want me to get in trouble for worrying her unnecessarily." He was pulling out all the stops to get me to come along willingly. It was actually very sweet since I was incapable of resisting anyway. All they had to do was pick me up and haul me where they wanted me to go.

"I'll get her dressed and we'll meet you in the garage," Ranger said reminding me I was only wearing a t-shirt. When the bedroom door closed Ranger said, "I'm going to get some sweatpants for you. Do you need some help getting to the bathroom first?"

I shook my head no, realizing I didn't need to go to the bathroom at all despite having slept through the night and half the morning. I thought it was strange, but I didn't have the energy to wonder why, so I let it go.

The hardest part was when he pulled the covers back and it felt like frosty air was hitting my legs. Ranger slipped the pants on and pulled them up, speaking to me soothingly in Spanish the whole time. I didn't know what he was saying but it sounded tender and loving and it warmed my heart despite the still chilled exterior.

Two hours later I was in a hospital bed with Bobby on one side and Ranger on the other. The door would open and close but I had yet to open my eyes to see who it was. My chest still hurt even with the pain medication they'd given me. Dr. M had come in and spoken to me but I wasn't able to give her much in return. I was relieved when Ranger explained what we'd done last night and then the condition he'd found me in this afternoon. I couldn't help but notice his voice sounded tired and strained. I felt like he needed to rest, but I doubted I could convince him to climb up in the bed with me.

"I think we may want to revisit finishing the chemo this week. I don't think she's up to a treatment today," Dr. M finally surmised.

That got my full attention. "No," I called out, clearly struggling to open my eyes. I still felt like total crap but now I had a reason to fight past it. If we stopped my treatments or delayed them then it was like admitting the cancer had won.

"What do you mean, Stephanie?" Dr. M asked, smiling when my eyes focused on her.

"Do it," I explained. "Do the chemo today."

"Steph," Bobby interrupted, "You are so worn down that we aren't sure if your body can handle it right now. Wouldn't you rather put it off a day or two and then pick it up once you've had a chance to fight through this?"

"No," I answered honestly. "I need to get it all over with now. Then I can get better once it's finished. Don't worry, I can handle it." I said with as much firmness as I could muster in my voice.

Dr. M nodded her head and said, "I'll have them switch out your bags for one with the meds this afternoon, but you need to prepare yourself that you may have a really terrible night. You'll have a day and half off in between and then we will visit again before I'll agree to give you the last treatment. I'm all for letting you push through it as long as you can, but there is a limit to what your body can handle."

I shut my eyes feeling the effects of exerting myself for that long and relaxed into the pillow behind me. "Thank you," I told her feeling grateful to have her take my side and give me a chance to finish the whole treatment plan without interruption.

I heard Bobby leave with Dr. M and was glad to know they had reconnected. Something about the reunion of young love made me lighthearted, especially since it meant Bobby was spending time with someone who understood him and accepted his crazy life.

_Tank's POV_

When Bobby left the room with Steph's doctor, I took the chance to go in and see for myself how she was doing. When we rushed her to the hospital Ranger had her bundled up in a blanket with his Navy Seals hat on. I knew she wasn't talking and the little skin I could see on her face was whiter than I'd ever seen it, but I couldn't really tell how she was doing.

I wasn't prepared for the vision in front of me. Steph's head wasn't covered and I was able to see her bare top for the first time ever. I quickly mourned the loss of her crazy hair. Her skin was translucent, allowing all her veins to be visible while giving her a ghostly hue. There were tubes going into her nose; one I recognized as a feeding the tube, the other was forced oxygen. She had an IV in one arm with multiple bags hanging from the pole behind her bed.

Ranger was holding her hand in his and he didn't look up when I entered the room. His eyes had bags under them and if anything, I would swear his color was off too. His blank face was not visible and every worry he had for this little girl was painted on his face. "I've got two guys at the door," I informed him hoping it would ease his mind a little.

"Thanks," he replied in a soft voice.

"You want me to sit with her for a while so you can get a little rest?" I asked trying to subtly hint that he looked like shit.

Ranger shook his head no which didn't surprise me. "I'm sure she wouldn't mind if you left her for a while." I tried to encourage him again.

Ranger rubbed his free hand on Stephanie's face and she moved her head to the side in response without opening her eyes. "Babe, what do you say I have Bobby unhook all these wires and set you up for a drive and we go to the beach house? Do you think you could handle that?" I thought it was a strange question and began to wonder if the stress had finally gotten to him.

She grimaced, perhaps thinking the same thing but in a small, gravely voice she answered, "I wish I could, but I don't feel like going to the beach house right now."

That seemed like a perfectly reasonable response but Ranger took his hand from her face and covered his own with it, trying to hide the moisture that was pouring down his cheeks. I gave him a minute to pull himself together hoping he would explain why her answer had been so upsetting.

Her breathing began to deepen and I knew she was asleep. Ranger wiped his face, apparently picking up on the same thing I had, and then he looked to me and explained. "Before I went to Boston, a couple months back, she told me I couldn't put my life on hold just because she was sick. She said she wasn't in bad shape yet and she wanted me to just keep on doing everything I needed to now in case a time came when she needed me to stay close by. I asked how I'd know when we were at that point and she said…" he stopped for a minute pulling himself together again. "She said, when she couldn't go to the beach house with me that would be her way of signaling to me that she didn't know how much fight she had left in her. That was how I'd know to stay close to her."

I was glad there was a chair behind me because I suddenly felt like my legs were not capable of holding me upright.

"So I'm not leaving this room right now because I know how hard it would be for her to tell me that and I'm not going to miss a single minute by her side," he said, steeling his own resolve for whatever might happen over the next few days.

We sat in silence for a few minutes before he spoke again. "Keep a couple of guys at the door and call her parents and tell them. But let them know because of her fragile condition and her fighting the infection, and the fact that she probably picked this up at the play last night, that they won't be able to get in to see her. And tell the guys…" He stopped again, trying to get the message straight in his own mind.

"Except for the ones at the door, tell them to go home tonight. There's nothing they can do now and we'll call the control room if there is a change in her condition." He ran his hand over his face again, battling the fatigue that was obvious there.

I nodded that I'd gotten everything he'd said and would take care of everything. I was torn between wanting to scream at the pain Steph's body was in and the suffering Ranger was in watching her endure it, powerless to help her.

"Ranger," her voice called out sounding completely lost.

"I'm here Babe," he quickly responded.

She seemed agitated and was trying to move but her eyes stayed closed tightly. "Calm down Babe, I'm right here," he assured her once more standing over her and holding her hand tightly in his.

"Lay with me," she asked temporarily stopping her struggle. "Please." The single plea at the end hooked him and I knew he would try. The bed wasn't that big but they never allowed any space between them anyway, so there was enough room. Ranger looked like he was at a loss about how to slide in beside her. I walked over and as gently as my big arms would allow, I lifted her from the bed. Ranger toed off his boots and laid down, holding out his arms for her to be placed at his side in his embrace.

As soon as his arms wrapped around her she settled down and smiled slightly saying, "That's better," and then instantly slipped away in sleep.

"I'll let the nurses know she asked for you so they won't bother you," I said as I let myself out.

I pulled out my cell phone and called the Plum's house, conveying all the information to Mrs. Plum. She was very upset at the news but understood why their presence wouldn't be helpful now. I promised regardless of the hour I would call with an update when her condition changed.

I looked at Cal and Binkie at the door of Steph's room, knowing they had heard my conversation and informed them they were on for the next two hours and reminded them to leave when their relief showed up. Normally we would do four hour shifts but I knew everybody would want a chance to stand up for Stephanie. So the only way we'd all get a turn was if I kept the shift sorter. They nodded, not saying a word.

When I made it to the waiting room downstairs I was shocked to see all of RangeMan in the lobby. They stood up like young recruits being approached by a commanding officer. The image might have made me laugh if I had been approaching them to deliver any message other than the one I had tonight.

I rubbed my hand over my head, a nervous habit we all seemed to have picked up lately. "Men," I addressed them reverting back to my Army training. "She's in bad shape. She has a high fever from some kind of infection in her chest. They have her on a high dosage of antibiotics to try and help ward off the infection. Steph argued with her doctor to go ahead with her chemo later this evening so she will get that infusion, which will probably give her a horrible night. Between the fever and the side effects of the treatment she isn't going to have much left. Right now she's in and out of consciousness and agitated from the pain and the fever. Ranger's with her and won't leave her side."

That was a long speech by RangeMan standards yet I could see every one of them was listening acutely. "He asked me to tell you to go home tonight. There will be a two hour rotating shift at her door. I'll set the schedule and send it to your mobile devices so you know when you are expected to be here. If you aren't on the schedule, you do not need to be here. Ranger said he would call the control room with an update if her condition changes. Until then, she's fighting as hard as she can but we don't know how fierce an enemy she's up against yet."

You could have heard a pin drop when I was done. I wished I had something more to say to make them feel better; something I could offer as a ray of hope. But after seeing Ranger's reaction, I was afraid to offer them something that may not be true.

A few of the guys filed out giving me a view of my closest friends. Lester had sat down and had his head in his hands between his knees. I knew this whole mess had taken him back to the loss of his mom and hearing that Steph was in a critical place, where she may not pull through, was too much for him to handle. Bobby was beside him with his head bent up at the neck, staring straight up at the ceiling. He was a medic and had worked tirelessly to provide everything Steph's body might need through this whole process. He would take it personally as though he had failed to see something if she didn't make it. I sat in the chair flanking Lester's empty side and rubbed my hands over my head once more. I thought back to the early days of this whole thing and wondered if I'd known sooner, could I have used some of Ranger's resources to get her treatment moved up. Could we have avoided the whole cold and flu season if I'd just manned up and demanded she tell me what was wrong?

I felt someone approach us and watched as a woman in a white doctor's coat walked up to Bobby. She took his head in her hands and he wrapped his arms around her waist, laying his head over her stomach and allowing her to comfort him. I assumed this was Dr. M that I had heard so much about. "Don't worry Robert, I've given her everything I can to help her through it. She's proven to me time and time again that she's a fighter. If anybody can pull through this, it's her." She continued to assure him and by virtue of my eavesdropping, me too.

She convinced Bobby to go with her to the cafeteria for some coffee before she had to leave, which just left me with Santos.

I gave him a minute but when it didn't look like he was ready to move I bumped his knee with mine and said, "Come on man, I'll let you ride back with me."

Lester shook his head no, refusing to leave yet. I waited for a minute and then pulled out my cell phone and dialed Woody's number. I told him to come up with a rotating schedule for guarding Steph's hospital room and to send it to all the guys, including me, when he was done.

With that task delegated, I turned back to the man to my right and tried once more. "Well, since it looks like you and me are staying how about I get us both a cup of coffee. It's going to be a long night."

I walked away slowly and hid my self satisfied smile when I heard Lester's size twelve boots hitting the tiles behind me to catch up. I guess I'd gone from press secretary to child care provider and that seemed okay with me. I had a feeling it would be what Steph would have wanted me to do and right now that was all the motivation I needed.


	21. The Greatest of These

_JE created the characters below. She deserves all the credit as well._

_Fredda (rangergirl1234) thank you once again for all your work as the beta on this story._

**Chapter 21 – The Greatest of These**

_Stephanie's POV_

Shit I felt like death warmed over. I opened my eyes a little and had a splitting headache but I was pleased that my eyelids seem to be obeying the command to operate. The lights were off in the room but I could tell from the window that the sun was shining brightly. The last memory I had in context of time was of Dr. M agreeing to let me have my chemo about three o'clock yesterday afternoon. I wonder how long I'd been out of it.

I remembered begging Ranger to lay down with me and from the mass of muscle behind me I assume he agreed and has stayed with me since. I took a deep breath and still felt some tenderness but I didn't have the stabbing pain like I remembered from yesterday. My abs were sore and since I could remember throwing up during the night I assumed the heaving was enough to strain the muscles there. I wasn't in the greatest of shape so it wouldn't take much to leave me feeling like I'd worked out.

I tried to lay still but since I'd woken up I felt the need to stretch and I was thirsty. Of course once something like that registers in my brain that's all I can think about so I finally gave up and began to move as slowly as possible to try and at least get the stretching done. Ranger's arms tightened immediately and his groggy voice began to say soothing words, obviously triggered by my movement more than his understanding of the situation. He had to be exhausted after staying with me all this time.

"Ranger," I said with my voice sounding as scratchy as it felt.

"I'm here Babe," he said flooding me with memories of how often he had said that phrase during the night.

"Water?" I asked, hoping he would understand I was thirsty and wanted to know if I was allowed to drink anything.

He seemed to wake up instantly and asked, "Are you thirsty?"

"Yea, I just need a little something to drink," I replied trying to assure him I wasn't just talking in my sleep.

He rolled slightly using just one arm to get my little plastic cup on the rolling bed side table and poured some water in it from the matching pink pitcher next to it. He kept his other arm around me, not breaking our contact completely. When he rolled back close to my back once more he was holding a cup with a straw in it and he softly reminded me, "Just a little at first to be sure your stomach can handle it."

I nodded and tried a small sip not wanting to get sick anymore. After taking a few long drinks I nodded that I was done and he sat the cup down on the stand once more. With his hand now empty he rubbed up and down my arm and then moved up to caress my face and move down my stomach. Finally he asked with a hint of fear in his voice, "How are you feeling?'

"I've certainly felt better, but I don't feel like my fever is as high as it was yesterday, and my head still hurts a little but it isn't a stabbing constant pain like earlier either. So I don't feel great, but I'm better than I was so I won't complain about it too much." I hoped my answer satisfied him as being both honest and encouraging.

His arms tightened around me and his face rested against the base of my neck at the back. He let out a few long breaths like he was trying to get control over his emotions. "It's so good to hear your voice," he finally got out as I thought I felt something wet on my neck. The thought of Ranger crying a single tear over me broke my heart so I lifted my hand and placed it on his head trying to comfort him behind me without moving to face him. It didn't take long before he had mastered whatever had overwhelmed him and he lifted his head once more.

"I need to call the nurse so she can let Dr. M know you are showing some improvement since she saw you last night," he explained reaching over me for the call button.

No more than thirty seconds later a small woman with bright red hair came in with Bobby right on her heels. It was impossible to say if the guys changed clothes since they almost always had on the same black t-shirt and cargos. But based on the number of wrinkles in Bobby's usually neat appearance, I would swear he had stayed here all night too. Geez I needed to convince the guys I was going to be alright and they could take a break from the bedside vigils or they were all going to suffer from exhaustion too.

Ranger told the nurse I had drunk a little water and she then asked how I was feeling. I gave her the exact same explanation that I'd offered to Ranger earlier and she wrote it all down promising to call my oncologist with an update.

When she walked out Bobby pulled a chair over and touched my face smiling when my skin felt markedly cooler than the last time he'd checked. "It's nice to see your fever broke overnight," he commented, proving my theory about what he had been thinking. Hmm, maybe I was getting a little ESP out of this whole experience.

"What time is it?" I finally asked, curious just how long I'd been asleep.

"It's 0730," Bobby replied quickly.

"Wow," I replied. "I figured it was later than that. I feel like a lot more time has passed than just sixteen hours since you brought me here."

Bobby's face fell at my comment and he said, "Bomber, we brought you in on Tuesday afternoon at 1500 hours."

"Yea," I agreed already aware of that.

"Today is Thursday. You've been out of it for over forty hours." Well that sure as hell explained a lot.

"Shit," I said before I could edit myself. No wonder Ranger had been so emotional earlier. I'd probably worried him half to death.

"You got that right," Bobby agreed with my unedited response. "But since you seem to be responding to the medication, you might be able to convince Sophia to give you that last chemo this afternoon and then you will just be one pill away from being done with it all."

The thought of being finished was pretty appealing right now. "What do you mean I might be able to convince her?"

Bobby laughed. "She was so upset about your condition yesterday. She was kicking herself all night long that she should have held your chemo on Tuesday, but she wanted to honor your request to keep moving forward and allow you to be in charge of your treatment plan. She was scared that she'd overloaded you and you might not be able to bounce back. When she sees you later today she's going to be so happy."

I could have focused on any part of that speech but I decided to only say, "So you were with her all night long?"

Bobby stood up with a big grin on his face and said, "Yea. I thought the doctor needed a house call of her own."

We laughed together and then he announced he was going to call the control room and let them know about the change and remind the guys that because of my system still being so fragile that I still couldn't have any visitors. I was slightly disappointed about not being able to see any of the guys but I knew it was more important for me to stay well enough to finish up my treatments so I could go home.

When the door closed behind Bobby I nestled back into Ranger's chest and said, "You should probably go back to Haywood and get some rest too."

"No," Ranger replied flatly, as he placed a kiss at the back of my neck. That was the first sign of how truly exhausted I was. His lips felt like heaven, but only my neck was responding. I figured I had to be near death before my body would fail to respond to kisses from those perfect lips.

"I'm sorry I scared you," I said realizing how hard it must have been to see me out of it and be helpless to do anything about it.

His arms tightened at my words and he whispered, "You're better now, that's all that matters." Then he seemed to think about it before adding, "But I'm not leaving you until you are cleared to come home with me."

"But you need some rest and I know you haven't been getting any sharing half of a hospital bed with me," I tried to convince him again.

He chuckled lightly and then said, "Shit, Babe, you sound like Tank."

"Tank?" I repeated, unsure of how he was making that connection.

"Yea, he's been bugging me about getting some rest too. He had the nerve to tell me I looked like shit." Ranger added, returning to the skin at my neck.

I tried to roll over so that I could see him for myself. "Tank was right," I blurted out as soon as my eyes focused on his face.

"Way to boost a guy's confidence," he said with a smile.

I would have laughed at his attempt to make a joke but I was feeling exhausted again and the lines on his face told me he probably felt just as tired. "You look like you need a long shower and good night of sleep," I tried clarifying.

"I'll get a shower later, but you're right about the night of sleep. Now that I know you're okay I could sleep right here if you'd agree to rest with me," he urged.

I wouldn't deny him a single thing right now so my eyes began to shut at the mere suggestion of our resting together. Just before I drifted off he said, "I love you, Stephanie."

I fought with all that was in me to battle against the darkness to say, "I love you too." I hope he heard it either from my lips or the screaming of the truth from my heart.

_Tank's POV_

When my cell phone rang and I saw Bobby's name on the caller ID I didn't know if I should be glad to finally have some word about what was going on at the hospital or if I should steel myself for what he was about to tell me.

"Yo," I answered, hoping I could handle whatever he was about to say.

"Guess who's awake?" He teased without bothering with any pleasantries.

"Now's not the time to screw with me, Brown," I growled. I couldn't handle games. If Steph was getting better I needed to hear it in plain English.

"I am leaving the hospital to come back for a shower and a nap," he began telling me already that she was improving because he would never leave if her condition was still touch and go.

"How is she?" I pushed, needing to hear the details anyway.

"Her fever finally broke last night so that it's just a low grade temp now. She was able to drink a little and is sore with a mild headache but considering what she has been through that is pretty damn good news," he explained.

"Does this mean she's out of the woods?" I couldn't help but press.

Bobby sucked in a breath. I knew he didn't like to make guarantees about stuff like this. "It means Sophia might agree to give her another chemo treatment this afternoon and her pill tomorrow and then Steph will be finished with that shit."

"Any chance more of the chemo will make her worse?" I needed to know how to explain it to the guys. I didn't want to offer them hope just to yank it from under them later.

"There is always a chance of that, but she had that fight back in her eyes so my guess is it will make her sick as a dog again tonight and really wear her down. But she will get through it. I called Sophia and she said she planned on swinging by the hospital for rounds about five. I'll head back over then to be there if she decides to let her finish the regimen to get it over with and then stay close through the worst of it after." I didn't ask Bobby why he kept referring to Steph's doctor by her first name but it sure sounded like our medic was working on one heck of a crush.

"I know we are limiting visitors to keep her isolated while she's so worn down, but is there any chance I can see her?" I asked, knowing it was selfish, that I had no more right than any of the other guys to go in her room right now.

"If you scrub down first and wear a mask and gloves, I don't see why not. If you want to see her I might suggest you do it before she gets the last infusion," he prompted.

"Why?" I wondered aloud. It didn't really matter, I was just curious.

"She's going to get really sick. Think a stomach virus on steroids with chills, sweats, and uncontrollable shaking. Her body is recognizing the chemo as a poison and once it enters her system, her body begins to fight to get it out. It's a violent reaction that you don't need to see and Steph probably wouldn't appreciate having an audience for." His explanation more than convinced me.

I told him I was going to head over and would let him brief the guys when he got to the office then I'd put him down as off-line through the night so he could rest and then go back to the hospital without interruption from any of the guys.

An hour later I was at the hospital being scrubbed by a nurse who I think believes the only way to keep Steph well is to take all the skin off my hands with a brush and disinfecting soap. Satisfied the top layer of epidermis was gone, she handed me a pair of gloves to put on that went with the gown, shoe covers, and face mask. I struggled to get my hands in the latex but the expression on the nurse's face told me if I couldn't get them on I wasn't going in that room so I kept tugging at it until she was satisfied.

"Keep your voice low, don't turn on the lights, and don't let her get worked up. She might be better than she was yesterday but that doesn't mean her body is capable of handling much. One little thing could easily wipe out all the ground she's gained today." I listened to her warning and nodded that I understood and then walked in the door that she pushed open for me.

I sat down in a chair beside the bed and looked at Ranger and Steph who were asleep, clinging to each other. Her face was on his chest tucked under his chin and they had their arms wrapped around their sides, holding on tightly as though they needed the physical reminder the other was right there and wouldn't leave.

I was so busy looking at them intertwined I didn't notice Ranger's eyes open.

"Never took you for a voyeur," he whispered.

I couldn't help but laugh. There was nothing sexual about them at the moment but they were a perfect picture of love in bodily form. "Just coming by to see for myself that things are okay here," I told him through the mask.

He placed a kiss on top of her head before saying, "She's not out of the woods yet but just hearing her voice again this morning almost undid me. After going so long with her unconscious, I was thankful to just hear her voice one more time."

I could tell Ranger was exhausted. His eyes were red and had bags under them, his voice was rough, and he was having trouble getting his thoughts out. But the greatest indicator of his state was how he was being so forthcoming with his emotions. We rarely talked about how we felt. It's not that we didn't feel, if anything our emotions ran deeper than most people. So knowing he loved her was admitting that how he felt for her must be a consuming thing. To think that he might be losing her must have felt like he was losing his ability to breathe. I can't imagine the relief that would have coursed through him just from hearing her voice.

"Bobby said she had the fight back in her eyes," I finally said hoping it would offer him a measure of hope.

He smiled and then told me, "She told me I looked like shit."

"She was right," I couldn't help but add. I didn't believe in kicking a man when he was down, but I'd seen him return from six months in a jungle looking better than he did right now.

"Why don't you at least take a shower and put on some fresh clothes?" I asked, seeing the duffle bag that I knew one of the guys had brought over yesterday.

He looked down at Stephanie as though he was considering it. "I'll stay with her and you'll be back before she wakes up."

He nodded and I knew I had him. "I'll be there," he said pointing to the bathroom in her room. "Call me if she wakes up and you need help calming her down. She can get agitated and confused when she's waking up." His arms tightened around her once more as though just the thought of being twenty feet away in the shower was causing him pain.

When Ranger stood up she began to stir and I looked at him, questioning what he wanted me to do. "You'll have to lay down with her," he finally advised.

I wasn't exactly comfortable with the idea of trying to squeeze my frame in such a small bed, but at the moment keeping her calm was my top priority so as gently as I could I laid down and put an arm over her.

She stopped moving immediately. "I'll be right back," Ranger said with a scowl on his face. Hell, he was the one that told me to get in the bed; there was no reason to get all jealous and pissy with me over it.

When the water turned on Steph said, "Thank you."

"For what?" I asked, wondering if I should be talking to her at all.

"For making him take a shower. We're going to have a long night and if he insists on staying with me the whole time he needs a break to wash off the last couple days," she explained showing me just how aware she was, even if she didn't seem awake.

"Anything for you, Little Girl," I assured her as I heard the water turn off.

She moved her head and forced her eyes open. They were a dull grey color with only a hint of blue in them. The lack of spark there made me suck in a quick breath. Until I saw that I didn't realize just how sick she really was. "He'll be right back," I promised her. "And then you can rest some more." I knew in my heart she wouldn't be able to relax until Ranger was beside her once more. She trusted me, I was a good friend to her that could give her support and encouragement, but I wasn't Ranger. I wasn't the man that she needed.

I suddenly felt guilty for pointing out how bad he looked. It made sense now that he came out of battle zones looking better than he did now. Missions only put his body in danger. Staying by her side must be like slowly having his heart ripped out piece by piece. She shut her eyes once more and I found my arms holding her tighter, wishing there was more I could do to help.

_Stephanie's POV_

I spent all afternoon going in and out of sleep. Now that the nurse had hung up the bag containing the medicine that I knew was designed to cure me if it didn't kill me in the process, I couldn't find any rest. I sat there focused on the drip visible in the plastic connecter of the IV bag to the tubing and counted the number of drops. I wondered how many I would get to before I could feel myself getting sick.

I didn't know if it was bravery or stubbornness that forced me to argue with Dr. M to get her to agree to just finishing the treatment now instead of delaying it. In my mind I knew it was going to hurt and I was going to feel terrible when I got the last dose. Since I already felt that way it was just extending it a little longer instead of teasing my body that it might get better just to knock it down again.

"Relax, Babe," Ranger said quietly in my ear, feeling the tension in my body pressed into his.

"How do you do it?" I asked, knowing my thought wasn't complete so he probably wouldn't know what I was talking about.

"Do what?" He asked, as I expected.

"When you are waiting for trouble to start on a take down or on a mission, how do you stay so calm knowing something horrible is waiting for you at any moment?" I clarified.

His hand began to soothe me moving up and down my arm. "I focus on something else so that my senses stay sharp but my mind can't wander."

"What do you focus on?" I asked, happy to be having a conversation about something besides my health.

"You mostly," he confessed as though it were obvious.

"But we weren't together during your last mission," I pointed out.

His chest shook slightly behind me before he said, "We hadn't made anything official, but I have felt like we were together in one form or another for years now."

"What about me were you thinking?" I pushed, loving any little detail he was willing to share about himself.

"It depended on how much time I had. Sometimes I would just try to picture of you in my mind. Other times I would allow myself to picture us living our lives together with no interference and no restrictions on how we interacted." I liked his explanation.

"How did you picture me?" I asked, knowing I was getting nosey but I loved hearing him talk.

"Sometimes it would be you asleep in your bed, the way you were when I checked on you right before I left. Other times it would be you standing up to Joe with that look of fire in your eyes. And on really long missions, when I wasn't sure how the odds were going to play out for me, I would picture you under me in our night together. That picture got me through some really rough shit." I laughed at how he worded his confession.

"That picture forced me to have Dillon switch out my shower head more than once," I added, loving the sound of his laughter.

We kept talking about nothing…about everything, and I was the happiest I could ever remember being. It was just like our conversations at the beach where there were no walls, no questions he wouldn't answer. It was just us and I felt so supported and loved that I began to believe I would be strong enough to get through the night.

I remembered my days in Christian Education as a kid being forced to church by my mother in the hope that the work of the nuns would somehow get some sense of decency in me. One of them quoted a verse that said, "These three remain faith, hope and love, but the greatest of these is love." I remember thinking to myself how ridiculous it was and how it didn't make much sense, but now in this quiet hospital bed I got it.

I had faith in the doctors working to heal me, I had hope that they would succeed, and I would begin to get better and would one day be myself again. Both of these were wonderful things but they weren't what was getting me through this ordeal. I was being sustained from breath to breath, through each pain, by the love of the man holding me in his arms.

The greatest was love.


	22. Moving On

_The usual applies…all belongs to JE._

_Fredda (Rangergirl1234) I can't thank you enough for working so quickly and so diligently as the beta on this story._

**Chapter 22 – Moving On**

_Stephanie's POV_

"Well Stephanie, I think today seems like a good day for you to go home," Dr. M announced with a sweet smile, knowing how much I wanted to get out of the hospital. I finished the chemo on Friday but had been getting sick still over the weekend and my white blood cell count was so low she wouldn't let me leave until it began to show some improvement. Now, on a sunny but cold Tuesday, I was finally being discharged.

"I trust you can keep in mind that your immune system is still severely compromised so you need to avoid crowds and anyone that you know to be sick for a while still, but I think you'll be able to rest and get stronger at home much faster than here." Dr. M understood how being in the hospital was an additional stress on my system and how much I missed our bed on seven.

Ranger's arms tightened around me and he leaned forward to whisper in my ear, "I've missed you in our bed too." Damn, I couldn't really blame the chemo for my inability to keep my thoughts to myself but I hoped Dr. M would give me the benefit of the doubt anyway.

She gave Bobby some more instructions that I completely blocked out, still happy about the thought of going home soon. I perked up again when she said, "It will be a slow process, but you will begin to feel stronger and your energy will come back steadily. And, you may begin to feel your hair coming back soon too. Don't be alarmed if it is not the same as it was before it fell out. Some people report it being a slightly different shade of its previous color, or they have straight hair when it used to be curly or vice versa. Almost anything would be normal."

I tried not to get my hopes up that it might come back a little more manageable. Ranger must have sensed where my thoughts were going because he leaned into me once more to say, "I hope not. I want to be able to bury my hands in that wild mass of curls again."

I promised to call her if I had any questions and watched with a smile as Bobby walked Sophia out. I had a feeling he would be MIA for a while.

When we were alone again Ranger turned me so that he could kiss my lips. I was still completely exhausted but I couldn't help but return his kiss. I was so happy to know I was done with the treatment. I had survived it and gotten through it without having to stop. Even though it was obvious it had changed me, and I was practically too weak to take care of myself, I still felt stronger somehow. I had done something big and I could feel the accomplishment of that.

"Let's get you dressed," Ranger said as he pulled back slightly. I smiled with my whole face feeling a great deal of joy at that idea. He smirked at me and said, "There was a time when me saying 'let's get you undressed' would have been what put that kind of smile on your face." I couldn't help but laugh in response to his joke.

It took a while because Ranger was treating me overly gently to avoid moving me quickly or harshly, but he eventually got me dressed and put the Seals cap back on my head. I knew it was silly; the staff of the hospital had seen my head for a week now, but I still didn't want the guys to see it.

Bobby returned just in time for Ranger to hand him the duffle bag we'd been living from and then he lifted me from the bed effortlessly. I knew I'd lost a lot of weight but I still felt substantial enough that the ease with which he carried me was astonishing.

"Sir," a nurse called out while following us with a wheelchair. "Hospital policy says a patient can't walk out of the hospital." She looked down as though her explanation was all that was needed for him to release his hold on me and put me in the chair. I can't explain why but my hands tightened around his shoulders where I was holding on.

"She's not walking," he replied with an edge to his voice. "I'm carrying her." The nurse was smart enough to back off. I would have defended her for just doing her job, but I loved the feeling of being in Ranger's arms and I didn't want him to put me down yet.

The last week I had spent every waking moment being held. Mostly it was by Ranger, but occasionally Tank or Bobby stepped in when I insisted on Ranger taking a break. Yesterday he went back to Haywood for the first time but he was only gone for two hours. He claimed he was too anxious to stay away any longer and I had to admit I only relaxed when he was beside me once more. Something strange had happened to us during my stay here. Our bond had grown even closer and the thought of being away from him was almost unbearable. I knew it was ridiculous and hoped it would ease up a bit in time, but for right now there was a gaping whole in my chest when we were apart that only seemed to disappear when we were reunited.

Ranger sat in the back with me across his lap, not even releasing his hold on me for a seat belt. Bobby drove us carefully back to the office where I knew I would be on lock down for a while. "Do the guys know I'm coming?" I asked, curious what kind of reception I should expect.

"Nah," Bobby answered from the front. "I figured it would be fun to surprise them by letting you say hello on five on your way upstairs."

"They knew I was getting better though, right?" I hoped the guys had not been worrying the whole time I had been in the hospital.

"Babe, they've worried about you since the moment they first heard you were sick. They won't relax until they see for themselves that you are back where you belong," Ranger offered as an explanation.

That seemed like a good answer to me. "I don't think I'll be able to handle a long reunion," I admitted, hating my continued lack of energy.

"I'll take care of you Babe." Ranger reassured me rubbing my back with his hand brushing away all my fears.

When we got to the building Bobby turned around and wiggled his eyebrows in a way that reminded me of Lester. "You ready for this?"

I nodded, not entirely sure I knew what 'this' was. As if he knew my question he answered, "As soon as the boss steps out of the truck with you in his arms the guys on monitors are going to announce that you are back and every one of them is going to want to see for themselves that you're home. They might be a little loud and excited, so if it's too much just let me know and I'll calm them down for you." I wasn't sure how he planned on calming down the Merry Men but I thought it was sweet that he would offer.

We rode in silence in the elevator with Ranger still cradling me as though I were a weightless child in his arms. The elevator doors dinged open and I saw the sweetest sight of all. My guys were practically elbowing each other; crowded around the doors trying to get a glimpse of me to be sure what they thought they saw on the monitors was true.

"Beautiful," Lester said amid the cheers and yells of celebration. "You're home." I was expecting him to make a joke or suggestive comment but instead when I looked at him his eyes seemed to be overflowing with tears, streaking his tan cheeks with no attempt made to hide his emotions.

Cal's eyes were glistening as well when we said, "Thank God our Angel is back."

It was hard enough to accept them being excited to see me, but to see them so open with their emotions was not something I expected and the tears began to stream down my face. "Is it too much?" Ranger asked.

I nodded and he began to turn to take us back to the elevator but I stopped him. "I don't mean we have to leave, it's just so hard to accept how happy they are to see me. I was only in the hospital for a week."

Ranger leaned into me so that he would not be over heard to correct me. "Babe, for the first three days we weren't sure if you would make it or not and I don't think any of the guys spoke a word. It's like the heart of this building was gone and we were all terrified it wouldn't come back. To see you here today is such a relief to them."

"But I look like hell," I pointed out loudly.

Lester came closer and corrected me. "No, right this minute you are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen." He approached me slowly like he didn't want to scare me in any way, then he held up his hands and said, "I just washed them," which allowed Bobby to back down slightly.

Lester put a hand on my hat, pulled the bill up slightly, but not enough to reveal all of my bald head and placed a kiss on the top of my forehead.

I took a shuddering deep breath trying to rein in my emotions which were threatening to get away from me. "It's time to get you upstairs, you still need a lot of rest," Ranger said sensing the overwhelming nature of the guys welcome was exhausting me.

When we walked into our apartment on seven I took a deep breath and shut my eyes. I was home. I knew I had moved in officially a month and half ago but for some reason when I came back today it felt like home deep in my bones. This is where I belonged, being held by the arms that I belonged in for all time. More tears feel down my face and I made no attempt to hide them.

"Happy tears?" Ranger asked, slightly uncertain.

I nodded yes. "There was a time when we first arrived at the hospital that I wasn't sure I'd ever make it back here," I told him honestly. "I felt so weak; like if I didn't remember to keep breathing to keep fighting for that next heartbeat that my body would simply stop."

"How did you do it?" He asked with a voice uncertain if he wanted to hear just how close he came to losing me.

"I focused on you," I replied quickly. "I thought about the promise of our life together and how much I wanted a chance to be with you without the worry about treatments or tests, and in order for that to happen I had to fight through this."

"You fought for me?" Ranger asked.

I nodded my head and then corrected myself slightly. "I fought for _us_."

By this point we were in the bedroom and Ranger laid me in the middle of the bed. I was about to ask him to stay but once he got my shoes off of me he turned to his own before crawling in bed beside me. I took a deep breath and brought in the scent of the apartment, the shower gel, and Ranger's unique manly scent and fell asleep with the fragrance of home in my heart.

_Tank's POV_

From the moment Woody started shouting from the control room I knew something was going on. I dashed out of my office in time to hear him say, "She's home! The boss is back and he's got Bomber in his arms! They're getting on the elevator."

A few of the guys ran over to look at the video feed while others began to jockey for position to be the first to see he when the elevator doors opened. I hung back, thankful my size would allow me to see over the mass of bodies to see it for myself.

The doors opened and just as Woody had announced, Ranger stepped off holding our girl. I had seen her in the hospital so I was prepared for her to look sullen and pale, but seeing her in Ranger's arms really brought home how small she was. She was never a big girl; maybe a hundred and thirty five pounds if she was wet. But over the last few months the pounds had fallen off and I doubted she was even a hundred pounds wearing her boots. Ranger's arms nearly swallowed her up.

I knew she would be too weak for him to risk sitting her down so I was prepared for him to keep her cradled near his chest. Some of the guys took a look and joined in the cheering for her return but the sight of her so altered had most of us reaching for a handkerchief and a few brave ones just letting the tears fall.

She had done it. She had fought like we all asked her to, but it had come at a cost and the evidence of that was in front of us. Still, the joy of having her home was almost too much to process. She would get better, stronger, and she would be back, whipping the office back into shape in no time.

After Ranger took her upstairs the guys' celebration broke up and they went back to work, but for the first time in a week the noise had returned to the floor and it felt like there was life in the building once more. I was right about her being the heart of this place. Thank God she was back.

A few hours later Ranger appeared at my doorway and I couldn't help but notice he still looked horrible. "I figured you'd be upstairs tending to your woman."

"I was but she told me to get out of the apartment for a while since she is just sleeping." He replied before saying, "You got time for a little sparring in the gym?"

I nodded that I did. Hell, even if I had an evening of appointments I would have canceled them for the man in front of me. "You need to have your ass handed to you in the ring to remind you who's the big dog around here?" I teased.

Ranger rolled his eyes in response which had me laughing as we got up. That little girl had rubbed off on him in so many ways, but I never thought I'd see the day that he would roll his eyes as a response to one of us.

In the gym we circled before he struck out first. I knew Ranger hadn't worked out in a week and since most of his time had been spent lying in the hospital bed, his body had to be screaming for some exercise. I let him set the tempo and realized pretty quick he needed more than exercise, there was a demon he needed to get out. After he'd brought me down to the mats twice I asked, "You trying to make me pay for all you've been through, or is there another reason your control is slipping?"

He backed off and made a barbaric yell that was reminiscent of an injured animal. "What's up man?" I asked, not sure if I really wanted to hear the answer.

"I came so close to losing her. For two days I think every nurse and doctor that saw her expected the next breath she took to be her last. She was so weak, and from breath to breath I didn't know if I was about to lose the thing I need most in this world." He explained.

"But you didn't," I reminded him.

"No," he agreed. "She told me upstairs that she had to fight to keep breathing, like the end was right there and all she needed to do was just surrender and her pain and suffering could have been over."

Shit, no wonder he was so torn up. "Did she say how she managed to not get sucked into it?"

"Yea," he smiled slightly. "She said she focused on me and she fought for us; for the chance to have a real life with me."

I smiled knowing that sounded exactly like her. "So you should be feeling a lot better to have her home." I tried to point out the positive.

"I am," he quickly agreed before his eyes lost focus again. "But what if this didn't get it all? Can she survive more chemo? Can I survive watching her have to go through it all again?"

I couldn't answer that. Seeing her condition deteriorate day by day had been the hardest thing I'd ever done. To have to do it again if this treatment hadn't gotten it all would be unbearable. More to Ranger's point, it would probably be too much for her fight though. If this comes back we might lose her still.

I realized that was no way to think. For right now, at least, we needed to focus on having her back and give her a chance to get stronger. We'd face whatever happened next later, but for right now we needed to stay positive. "She'll be okay. You both will be."

Ranger looked at me with pleading in his eyes as though he were begging God to let my words be true.

We climbed out of the ring and went to the showers in silence. Ranger rushed through his, anxious to get upstairs next to Steph. Before he walked out of the locker room I blurted out, "Let me know if you need to work out again."

"Thanks man," he replied before walking out.

I'll be damned. This whole thing may have softened him permanently if he was still thanking us.

_Stephanie's POV_

"Ranger, I am perfectly capable of walking from the bathroom to the living room. In fact, aren't you the one who has always harped about me exercising more?" I said with just a hint of exasperation coming through in my voice.

"Babe," he said as though that explained all the mysteries of the universe to me but still didn't put me down to walk on my own.

Once he had me settled on the sofa he went back to the kitchen to get our breakfast. "Just so you are prepared," I began to warn him, "I intend to walk from the elevator to the car so the guys see my legs are working again."

He didn't say a word but he raised a single eyebrow as if to say, 'that's going to be pretty hard to do since I'll have you cradled in my arms.'

"This is my first check up at Dr. M's office. I've been out of the hospital for two weeks and I need to start moving around a little on my own."

Ranger brought me a fruit smoothie with a straw and I took it from him, eager to see what combination he had come up with this time. While I was preoccupied sipping the frozen concoction he explained, "When we left the hospital she said you needed to take it slow and easy. If she clears you for more activity today then I'll back off, but until then you can just prepare yourself to be taken care of."

I made a vow that I would get it in writing from the good doctor that it was okay for me to walk a distance of a hundred feet or less unaided.

When we got to the office I was so relieved to be able to check in for the doctor visit side and not have to go to the infusion side. The staff had all been wonderful and I was fortunate to have so many caring individuals that had helped me along the way but I had endured my fill of chemo and was glad to be done with it.

In the consultation room Dr. M came in with a cheery smile and my patient file which was considerably thicker than when I was here last. After greeting us all and sitting down she said, "I was looking over the lab results from the draw Bobby did yesterday and it looks like you are continuing to improve. I imagine you are beginning to feel stronger and I hope your appetite is beginning to return."

I looked at Ranger and resisted the urge to stick out my tongue at the comment about me feeling stronger.

"I'm going to have you return to the imaging center where your last PET scan was done for a follow up in order to verify that you are clean as a result of the treatment you went through." She paused slightly before saying, "If there is something there we will discuss how to address that once I have the results, but if it is clean then you will have a few months to yourself without me bugging you for more blood samples."

I smiled at the idea of giving my veins a chance to recover from the constant poking they had endured over the last three months. The infusion nurses had pushed me to insert a port-cath in a vein in my chest so that I didn't have to be poked every time I came in, but I refused to do it, not wanting any more scars on my chest than I already did, no matter how small it would have been. Ranger said I was just being stubborn, but Dr. M didn't push when I said no. When she asked if I had any questions now I spoke up quickly, asking her to please specifically detail what physical activity I was cleared for.

Dr. M looked at me strangely and then smiled before answering, "Stephanie, you are cleared for any and all physical activity that you feel up to performing. You may still need breaks throughout the day, but you can return to work and your usual life as you feel that you can handle it."

I was trying to keep my expression at happy and not let it cross over to'I told you so' smugness. Then Dr. M said one more thing that helped to lessen my gloating. "In fact, I would think some daily exercise would help you to build up your endurance and energy levels more quickly. Something moderate at first, like walking on a treadmill or riding a stationary bike, would be ideal but you can graduate to more aerobic activities whenever it feels right to you. This is your body and only you can judge what you're ready for."

I looked at Ranger and he had a shit eating grin on his face that told me he was going to have a regimented workout schedule posted and would be there with a bottle of water, a towel, and a stop watch to be sure I stuck to it.

We thanked her for her time and made our way back to the Turbo in the parking lot. Proving himself to be the bigger man he didn't gloat over his new leverage to get me working out. Instead, he asked, "Is there anywhere you want to go?"

I thought about it for a few seconds and replied, "Can we swing by Shorty's?" He started the car and headed in that direction.

When we pulled up at the back door, it felt strange to be there after so many weeks had passed. I let us in with my key and relaxed into the soothing sounds of the busy kitchen just beginning to wind down from the noon day rush. Shorty came in carrying an empty pizza pan and stopped in his tracks when he saw me.

A big grin broke out across his face before he sat the pan down on the nearest surface and rushed to me, bending over to wrap his arms around me and lifting me from the floor so that my feet dangled in mid air as his solid bands held me tightly to him. "You are a sight for sore eyes," he confessed before sitting me down.

When he finally released me he stepped back and asked, "What do you feel like eating?"

I had to think about it and finally said, "I'd love a pizza."

Ranger looked at me like I'd grown a second head since this was the first time I'd asked for something greasy. It wasn't until I could smell the sauce in the kitchen that I realized I wanted it, craved it even. Shorty turned and instantly got to work so we took out seats on the stools that I noticed were still at the counter where I had been welcomed so many times.

He sat the pizza down between us and looked at Ranger as though daring him to say something about it not being good for me. I picked up a piece and bit into it hesitantly, but as soon as the cheese hit my tongue I knew it was going to be okay. I let out a long deep moan in response to the flavor and by the time I was able to open my eyes and gauge the look on the guy's faces, Shorty was excusing himself to check on the dinning room and Ranger's eyes were as black as onyx.

"Sorry," I apologized with a napkin in front of my lips to keep from showing my undignified mouth full of food.

Ranger leaned over and licked a small spot of sauce that I had failed to clean off my lip, staying with his face right in front of mine for a few seconds as though he were savoring the closeness. "I can't tell you what it's doing to me to hear you making those sounds again," he whispered before pulling back.

I swallowed hard against the pizza in my mouth, suddenly losing my appetite for the crust and sauce but developing a sudden hunger for the dessert in front of me.

I wondered if he would fight me about us having sex. He had barely let me take five steps in two weeks. I wondered if I could even do it. Would my body be able to handle it?

Ranger leaned in again to reply to my private thoughts. "If you want it Babe, all you have to do is ask. I'll do all the work and I can guarantee you can not only handle it but enjoy it too."

I took an extra gulp despite my mouth being empty and said, "Do you feel like driving to the beach house?"

If possible, his eyes darkened another shade and he grinned a sexy smile at me, removing any doubts that may have been lingering about how my body might respond. I wasn't nervous, I was excited and ready – oh so ready. We stood up together and Shorty came over to check on me. He saw virtually the whole pizza on my plate and asked if I needed something different.

I got a wicked gleam in my eye and without breaking the eye contact with Ranger I asked, "You wouldn't happen to have any of that berry cobbler, would you?"

Oh yea, I might not have enough energy for an all night marathon but I certainly had enough to connect physically with Ranger right now. Once we were joined again I knew in my heart that I would finally feel whole and the struggle of the last few months would be washed away in the restoring love only found with him.

That, plus the sugar in the cobbler should give me an extra kick of energy which I had a feeling I was going to need. I knew what we were about to do would make me feel whole again, but more importantly, it would make me feel alive and vibrant once more.

Hopefully when we returned to Haywood the next time, the glow on my face would put everybody at ease that I was finally coming back to them to stay.


	23. A Bracelet

_The wonderful characters below are all because of JE's creative and genius._

_Fredda (Rangergirl1234) thank you for all your hard work as the beta on this story._

**Chapter 23 – A Bracelet**

_Stephanie's POV_

"Stop fidgeting," Ranger softly told me, taking my hand in his to stop me from smoothing my skirt for the hundredth time since we were brought back to Dr. M's exam room. If I was moving enough for him to mention it I had to assume I was beginning to drive him crazy.

Before I could explain myself the door opened and Dr. M walked in with a warm smile on her face. "Stephanie, you look wonderful," she greeted me, taking in my appearance in a way that didn't make me uncomfortable.

In the last six weeks my hair had begun to regrow so that I had eyebrows and eyelashes once more and covering my head was a one inch long mass of unruly curls. I was disappointed that it hadn't come in any more manageable, but I had enough perspective now to just be thankful that it came in at all. I still wore hats a great deal, and I had a big enough collection thanks to the guys to use a different one every day, but today I had tied a scarf around my head like a headband letting the ends come down over my shoulder like an accessory.

My color was mostly back to normal, but my energy wasn't back to a hundred percent yet, although it was so much better I didn't dare complain about having to take extended lunch breaks to rest. My nails were still brittle, but I had read that wasn't all that unusual so I kept them short and figured if an occasion ever called for long elegant nails I could get some fake ones put on at the salon.

She didn't waste any time in opening my file and quickly reading the top page before shutting the folder and looking at me to explain the results. "I have the results from your PET scan," she began making me hold my breath temporarily in fear that she would have bad news for me. I had survived the treatment she recommended but I wasn't sure I could handle any more if it was called for.

"Everything looked normal and exactly how I hoped it would. I see no changes that would indicate any new growths, nor any remaining areas that are worrisome from your original diagnosis." She explained, giving me the words I needed to hear to take a fresh breath.

"What happens now?" Ranger asked with a strained tone to his voice. Apparently he'd been holding his breath too.

"Well, now the two of you go celebrate this news in whatever way you see fit, and Stephanie will come back in three months for another check up with me, and we'll do another scan in six more months. At this point we will say you have beaten this and we'll keep a close eye on you for the next few years to be sure nothing comes back to change that." Dr. M's face had a grin on it that rivaled mine.

I couldn't help but hug her when we stood up to leave. I thanked her the best I could, knowing my words were completely inadequate to let her know what a difference it made to have a doctor like her that made me feel like a person and not a case study.

When we got to the parking lot Ranger pulled me in his arms before I was able to get in the car. He held me tightly as though he were trying to be sure this good news was real and I was really not going to be taken away from him. I was flooded with emotions from being so close to him and having just heard what I so desperately wanted to hear. That coupled with the fact that my body was beginning to hum from the close contact and I was quickly coming undone.

After my last check-in with Dr. M we had gone to the beach house with a small box of cobbler in my lap and the intention of celebrating with some hot steamy time away. But because my energy was still so low I fell asleep on the ride down and ended up resting most of the weekend. Ranger held me and we did a lot of talking and kissing, but it never escalated as far as I thought it would. Truthfully, it was probably a good thing. My body had been under inspection for so long it still didn't feel like mine, and by the end of our retreat I knew I wasn't ready yet.

Ranger, being the perfect man that he is, must have sensed it because on the drive home he took my hand and said, "Whenever you're ready is fine. I love you because of the connection we share; and having sex or not doesn't change that." I appreciated his words, and felt slightly guilty about it not happening, but I also trusted that he understood and didn't mind waiting until I was truly ready for it again.

Of course, now that my body was pressed against his in public my mind was saying, 'It's time, it's time!" I don't know how long we stayed that way, but I do know when we pulled apart my eyes weren't the only ones that were moist. When we got in the Turbo he opened the glove box and pulled out a rectangular box that had been wrapped in black paper with an elegant silver bow.

"What's this?" I asked, but Ranger just raised a sexy eyebrow at me letting me know if I was that curious I needed to just unwrap it to find out.

Not able to put off my curiosity any longer I tore the paper off and saw a box with the words Masterson Jewelers printed on top. I had my suspicions about what I was about to see in the box, but lifted the lid just to be sure I was right.

I was slightly confused when I looked inside. Sitting against the silver satin lining was the bracelet I had admired at the jewelry store but it had only one charm attached to it. I picked it up and saw it was an onyx bead that had been inscribed with the word 'Babe' in a flowing script.

Ranger took the bracelet from my hands and clasped it around my wrist. "I know you told me I wasn't to purchase this for you so I didn't," he began explaining. "I did go in to look at it and see how much it was since you made such a big deal out of the price tag. When I explained to Mr. Masterson why I was interested in getting this for you now, he insisted on making the bracelet his gift to you. The price you had seen was with the full array of charms attached so just the plain bracelet was not as extravagant as you might have thought."

I couldn't imagine why a client would give such a generous gift to me and I had to blink quickly to keep from tearing up again. "The charm is from me," he admitted softer. "I wanted to give you something to let you know how proud I was of the way you handled this whole fight, but I also wanted to respect your command that I not give you the entire bracelet. I hope you'll accept it." He actually sounded hesitant; as though there was a chance I would reject his gift.

I leaned across the center console and threw my arms around his neck to hug him. "It's beautiful. I love it," I told him softly already planning the different charms I hoped to be able to purchase one day to fill the whole length of the bracelet.

When we pulled apart once more he started the car and then warned me, "Just so you know, I told some people about the bracelet so they may want to see it." I thought it was a strange thing for him to say since Ranger rarely gave personal information to others and the thought of him discussing this gift seemed out of character.

"I'd be proud to show it off," I told him hoping to put him at ease. Even though it wasn't full of charms yet, it was still beautiful and delicate looking with the simple bead moving freely around the silver band.

"You want to have a bite for lunch before we head back to Haywood?" He asked, getting a grin from me in return.

When we pulled up to Shorty's I already had my keys in my hand to let myself in. "Go ahead, I'll be right there," he told me. It wasn't unusual for him to have to take a call so I went on in to share my good news with the man who seemed to best understand what I was going through for the whole process.

As soon as I walked in the back door I heard his voice putting a bus boy in his place for just wiping crumbs off the tables onto the floor. But when he turned around and saw me he waved the kid off and drew me into a tight hug.

"You're in good shape, aren't you?" He asked, already knowing the answer.

I nodded despite my head being pressed to his chest. "I knew you would be. I knew God wouldn't take another angel from me," he confessed much softer.

When he sat me down he had a strange expression on his face and he pulled out a small square box wrapped in black with a small silver bow on top and handed it to me. I recognized the paper and smiled at the idea of Shorty in an expensive jewelry store picking out something for me.

I ripped the paper off, careful not to let any fall on the floor of his kitchen, and lifted the lid off the box to see a silver bead slightly smaller than the onyx one Ranger had given me. When I examined it closely I saw it had the outline of a fork engraved on it. I had to smile at what he chose to commemorate and remembered asking him if he was giving me a kiddie fork when he brought me plastic flatware to eat with. I had to admit it did help to keep the metal taste out of my mouth.

"You shouldn't have," I started to protest but he put one of his massive fingers over my mouth.

"From the moment you walked in here with my little nephew I felt like you had been sent here by Ellie for me to take care of. You accepting my concern, and my help, gave me a chance to honor all that Ellie went through and share in the celebration of you getting the end she never got," he explained completely silencing my complaint.

Instead I took his hand in mine to pull it away from my mouth in order to say, "Thank you."

The door to the dinning room swung open and Shorty put his hands on my shoulders and said, "Just today you will eat in the big room because I think there are some people here who want to share in this with you. But the next time you come back, I'll expect to see you sitting in your spot." I promised him I would return to eat in the kitchen and turned to see Ranger standing in the door with his hand out for me.

"What's going on?" I asked when I got close enough to allow him to take my hand in his.

"It's time to celebrate, Babe. The guys want to be a part of that," he told me pulling me around the corner where most of the guys were packed around the back tables pushed together to make room for us all.

I was beginning to wonder why I even bothered to put mascara on today since it seemed I was destined to wipe it off with all the tears that kept trying to streak my face. Ranger kept my hand in his as we walked to the table together and he said, "Gentleman," then he placed a soft kiss on my knuckles and added, "And Lady." I blushed.

"As you know we had our follow up visit this morning with Steph's oncologist where we got the news that she is all clear." The guys erupted in applause, making Ranger have to wait until it died down to continue. "So in RangeMan style I am happy to inform you that the enemy has been neutralized and the target was successfully taken out."

I had to smile at his military terminology to say I had beaten breast cancer. There was more clapping and a few whistles. I began to worry that Shorty might come out of the kitchen and tell us to keep it down. Ranger led me to the two empty chairs in the middle of the table, with our backs to the wall, and held the chair out for me to sit down beside him.

As soon as we were seated I took the opportunity to look around the table at all the happy faces and then I noticed in front of each man was a small box identical to the one Shorty had just given me in the kitchen. I was struggling not to get too overwhelmed.

To my right was Lester who was practically bouncing in his chair with a smile big enough to light up the restaurant. He moved the box that had been in front of him to sit it in front of me and said, "Open mine first." I laughed at how much he sounded like a kid at Christmas. Not wanting to disappoint him, I ripped the paper off and removed the lid to unveil a silver bead that had the word "Beautiful" inscribed in blue script.

I pulled him to me and placed a kiss on his cheek to say thank you. "I love it," I told him getting another of his charming smiles. Then I ran my fingers through the gelled spikes in his hair that stood about an inch high giving him a dangerous and sexy look. "It you keep that up, I'm going to want to lie down." Les warned me, alluding to the times he had fallen asleep with his head in my lap. Ranger growled slightly, which I'm sure he meant to be intimidating, but I found his possessiveness kind of cute.

"Babe, you can call me sexy or jealous or even a caveman, but don't call me cute," he whispered in my ear before placing a quick kiss on the side of my face.

As soon as Ranger pulled back Cal leaned forward from his seat across from me and pushed his box over so I could open it next. Not able to wait, I ripped the paper off and discovered another black stone that had angel wings on it. Cal got up and came around the table while I was opening his gift and when he bent over I grabbed his head moving it so that I could plant a big kiss right on the flaming tattoo, making him blush all over. Cal had kept his head shaved since he went slick topped for me and I had to say with the tat and the general attitude, it made him look dangerous and sexy.

Before I could say more than thank you, Woody was walking toward me with his box held out. Apparently each of the guys wanted a chance to present me with their gift so I opened them one at the time, touched with the personal selection they had each made and then I tried to use something as inadequate as a kiss or a hug to let them know how much their thoughtfulness meant to me.

The last box was from Tank. He had been seated next to Ranger but came over and knelt beside me so that our faces were on the same level and handed me his box.

_Tank's POV_

I watched as Steph opened the boxes from all the guys and how she tried to keep from crying as the personal remembrance of every guy seemed to touch her. When Ranger first mentioned wanting to give her the charm bracelet I thought it was a great idea. He said Steph had forbidden him to buy it for her because of the cost but when Masterson volunteered to donate the plain bracelet, we realized this would be a chance for us all to pick out something to go on it as a way of recognizing and celebrating her fight to beat this disease that threatened to take her away from us.

I had struggled with what to pick for my charm and in the end I went with the simple bead she was unwrapping. I watched her face to see her reaction, realizing I'd never seen a person who was as transparent in sharing their joy with the people around them as she was. She lifted the black bead which was slightly smaller than the one Ranger gave her and engraved with the words "Little Girl". She was no longer able to hold back her tears.

I held her to me as she wept what I hoped were happy tears. She finally pulled back and said, "I've wet your shirt again!" as though she were horrified about crying on me so many times over the last few months. I saw it as a badge of honor and pulled her face to me to put a kiss on her forehead. Ranger growled at me, which I found amusing. We'd known each other since we were kids, and I liked to think he knew me well enough to know I'd never go after his woman. But like it or not, because of this experience, I felt like Steph and I had bonded and he could growl all he damn well pleased but I was going to keep that little girl close to me.

She slipped my charm on the bracelet with the others from the guys and I noticed there wasn't much room left for her to make additional choices. It was a unique piece of jewelry. The charms were different shapes and sizes. Different colors and motifs yet they blended together to make a single piece that was both eye catching and beautiful – just like Stephanie.

It took us two hours to get through lunch but we eventually had to leave in order to relieve the contract workers I'd called in to watch the office while we celebrated with Stephanie. I kept my eye on Ranger as he walked her to his car. I noticed the way he kept a hand on her at all times, not controlling, but reassuring them both that all was well. It seemed like years had passed, and yet in other ways it seemed like it had only been a matter of days, since she first broke down in my office, refusing to tell me what had her so upset. Now she glowed with a joy I had never seen so naturally contained in another person before.

Ranger shut her door and quickly moved to the driver's side, catching my stare before he climbed in. He nodded his head as an acknowledgement to me and I could have sworn he mouthed the words 'thank you' but that would be strange so I let it go, figuring my head was all spongy from the emotions of the lunch we just finished. Hell if I was getting soft then I needed to get back to Haywood as soon as possible in order to find somebody that needed to be taught a lesson and use my fists as my best instructional tool. There was nothing like going a few rounds on the mats to toughen up a big softy.

_Stephanie's POV_

I was propped up on the pillows while Ranger was changing for bed and couldn't help but look at the beautiful bracelet on my wrist. I kept running through each of the charms smiling at what the guys had picked to give to me.

Most of them made perfect sense but a few of them mystified me. Ranger stepped out of the bathroom and said, "What's going on in that head of yours, Babe?" seeing my confusion.

"I don't understand this charm from Woody," I said holding up my wrist and pointing to the red bead three away from the black one he had given me. It had the words 'Semper Fi' engraved on it.

Ranger studied it for a few seconds and then smiled. "That's the Marine motto," he said as though it were self explanatory.

"I know that," I quickly replied, sixty percent sure that were true. "But I'm not a Marine."

"No, but Woody was," he quickly added. "For him it is the ultimate honoring of the fight you just finished. It means always faithful, and it is claimed by a group in the military known for their sheer tenacity in the face of adversity. It is probably the highest honor he could have given you by saying the strength you posses is equivalent to that of a fighting Marine."

When he explained it that way, it did seem like a compliment. "Ok," I accepted, "Then how about explaining this one," I questioned pointing to the charm from Hector. It was a deep shade of blue and had silver engraving that was in Spanish preventing me from knowing what it said.

Ranger's thick Spanish accent came out as he read, "Mi pacifca del corazon, mi fuerta corazon."

"It's beautiful, but what does it mean?" I pressed letting him know just hearing the words didn't explain what they meant.

"It means, my peaceful heart, my strong heart," he translated easily.

"Wow," I replied after hearing the words Hector had chosen. "He doesn't talk to me much so it's hard to believe he picked those words."

Ranger laughed softly before explaining, "Babe, Hector has thought the world of you since you first shot the alarm system in your apartment a few years ago. There may be a bit of a language barrier, but you two share a lot more than you may realize."

I let Ranger position me so that we were facing each other and tried to figure out what Hector and I might share so that I didn't notice Ranger's shift in attitude until I glanced up and saw him looking at me nervously.

"What?" I asked, worried that he was about to tell me that he had to leave. There was no medical reason for him to fear leaving my side for a few days, but since the time we spent in the hospital I had struggled with being apart from him more than a few hours before I needed the connection to be renewed.

Thankfully, he didn't make me wait very long before he began to talk.

"Stephanie, the last few months have been the hardest of my entire life. I came to terms with how strongly I loved you just as you were beginning the fight for your life. Seeing you go through this has taught me just how strong you really are and how I absolutely don't deserve someone with a heart as pure as yours."

Before I could object to his words he continued, "But I have also learned that none of us really deserve love, it is just something that we are given and it is ours to accept and return, and once I opened my heart to you I realized there was no turning back. Having you in my life has made me a stronger man, a better man."

The tears I seemed to have on my face almost constantly were beginning to stream once more. Ranger wiped a few away before smiling at the futility of his effort to dry my cheeks. Then he produced another jewelry box that was black on the outside but not wrapped in paper. He held it between his hands so that I could see the outside and then began talking once more. "I have waited to do this, not wanting you to misinterpret my words as some sort of reaction to your diagnosis, but then I realized that it many ways that's exactly what this is. Had you not gotten sick I might have wasted more months or even years before finally working up the courage to tell you how I felt. But as I've gotten closer to you I have continued to be amazed at the woman you are and it has made me realize there is no one on this earth that can hold my heart like you."

The tears were falling in earnest as he slowly began to lift the lid from the box. "Stephanie Plum, I love you in my own way, in every way, with all that I am. Will you marry me?"

By the time he finished speaking the box was open and in front of me was a beautiful diamond ring, perfect, glistening with reflected light. I reached out and put my hands on top of Ranger's and leaned forward no longer worried about my wet face, recognizing it was well beyond my control to stop the flood gates now anyway.

"Yes," I whispered against his lips. "If you will have me, then I will marry you."

Somehow he managed to slip the ring on my left hand, move his hands to my shoulders, and push me back to the lie on the pillows before claiming my lips with his. I melted completely, lost in the warmth of his mouth and his body so close to mine.

After I left the hospital my strength was so low that we were unable to properly celebrate my homecoming. After the trip to beach where I basically slept my way through our getaway I gave up thinking about it figuring my body would let me know when it was time. At first it wasn't a big deal, but lately the teasing and the tension between us was beginning to grow. When the playful sexual banter began with Ranger making no attempt to follow through, I thought he was starting to see me differently. Then I realized he was waiting for me to come to him, like I did before my surgery. He was respecting that this was my body and he wasn't trying to force me into something I wasn't comfortable with yet.

My body had been through so much, I hadn't really been ready but now that we had celebrated my remission and he was obviously looking forward to our future together, every nerve in my body began to respond to him. I found my arms tightening around him, pulling him on top of me and moaning at the pleasure of having our bodies so close together.

Sure, we'd cuddled, practically touching each other every moment we shared a room. But this touch was completely different. This one was charged with anticipation and the delicious tension in the room was making me tingle in places that had not felt alive in a couple of months.

Ranger slowed our kiss and rested his forehead against mine to say, "You've made me so happy, Stephanie. I don't know what the future will give us, but I promise I'll see to it that you are happy and that you are surrounded by the love you deserve. You'll never question how treasured you are and how much you are wanted." He rambled in a touching moment when his defenses seemed to be gone completely.

I cupped his face in my hands, lifting my chin to move his head from mine so that I could look in his eyes. Before I could get totally lost in their depths I whispered, "Make love to me."

His eyes darkened as his pupils grew larger with desire, "Are you sure you're ready for this?" He asked, always protecting me even though I could feel his desire in the air.

"I need this," I responded before clarifying, "I need you."

"As you wish," he said in a voice twice as deep as his usual tone, making my body shiver from the vibration and the memory of how the evening turned out the last time he quoted the Princess Bride to me.

The only clothes between us had been the t-shirt I stole from his side of the dresser and the boxers he had been wearing lately. I believe he only wore them to keep a layer between us out of respect for me. He preferred to sleep naked and I had a feeling I wouldn't be seeing those silk shorts again except in the drawer.

He took his time touching, caressing, and loving every inch of my body but it wasn't enough. It was beyond description in how wonderful it felt but my body needed more, it needed the connection where we were joined as one. I finally stilled his head, which was currently french kissing my navel, and with two fistfuls of hair I pulled him up to my face. "Now, Ranger, I need to feel you in me now."

He gave me a sexy smile, causing even more wetness to pool between my legs. He positioned himself expertly at my opening and tortured me with the slow progress of his entry. I couldn't shut my eyes. My body forced me to hold the connection with him for as long as possible, increasing the pleasure of his body sheathing itself in me.

I've heard people speak of the ground moving when they had sex and I always felt it was a silly description, but once he was completely in me I felt something crumble inside me. Any walls that might have remained around my heart were destroyed. He consumed me with his love and tender devotion. I had agreed to marry him, which was really only a legal technicality; my soul was his with no part held back in reserve.

The clock registered three in the morning before we were finally sated enough to rest, with Ranger pulling me against his check and tucking my head under this chin. His strong muscular body was surrounding mine and I relaxed against him feeling small and almost feminine against his powerful masculinity.

The last few months had taken a great deal from me. My body had been changed in permanent ways and I had been left questioning if anything that defined me as me remained. But in his arms I felt the love and safety that I knew would bring about my ultimate healing. I was a woman, I was his, and I would never question his faithfulness.

From something ugly and devastating came something beautiful and eternal. While I would never go so far as to say I was glad I had gone through this battle, I could say that I had grown to appreciate the relationships of those around me and I was glad to finally have a better understanding of who I was and what I was capable of doing.

Days are uncertain, and I knew how quickly a person could go from perfectly naive and content to terrified and uncertain. But in these arms I knew I'd never have to live with the fear of being alone and that my heart would always have its completed self in the man who claimed me forever as his woman.


	24. Walking On

_JE gets all the credit for the characters below._

_Fredda (Rangergirl1234) we've come to the end of another story and I am so very grateful for your skills and willingness to work with me as the beta on this story._

**Chapter 24 – Walking On**

"I can't do this, Ranger. You know I'd do anything for you, but this is beyond what I can do," I tried to argue my way out of Ranger's last minute request.

"But we need to get this guy tonight and since we only have one shot, you are our best bet for doing that with a distraction," he countered reiterating his request.

"But I have a big day tomorrow and this could take a while," I argued, desperate for anything that would get me out of this.

Ranger tenderly touched my cheek with his finger and spoke softly. "Babe, I don't want to pressure you but I know you can do this. You'll be in and out of the bar in less than half an hour and that will leave you plenty of time to rest for tomorrow. I wouldn't ask if it wasn't important." Then he pulled out the big guns and said, "Please."

I shut my eyes knowing I couldn't say no to him now. "Alright, what kind of look do I need to go with?" I asked, hoping he would say conservative parochial school administrator.

"He likes to dance, so I'd say something that would make him want to get you on the dance floor," he advised.

I stepped in the closet, overwhelmed at the amount of clothing Ella had managed to sneak in here for me. After ruling out most of them, I finally found a black dress that would barely cover my ass if I had to bend over and was skin tight. The feature that sold me was that it had long sleeves that connected to the bodice at the top, covering all my cleavage. It screamed sexy without revealing my chest. I had come a long way in how I saw myself, but I still wasn't comfortable with the idea of some skip getting a look at my breasts out of fear he would react badly seeing the difference in the two.

I found some special dancing shoes that made my legs look a mile long and helped to bring the attention to the bottom half of my body instead of the top half.

My hair was just as crazy as ever. Mr. Alexander had been a god send, cutting and styling it for me regularly as it grew in. I had gel in it, taming just enough of the craziness to almost give me a bedroom look. I spent minimal time on my make up, not wanting the focus to be on my face.

When I walked out of the bedroom, Ranger's mouth broke into a wicked smile and I knew I'd gotten a look that might work. He seemed to enjoy getting the wire on me just right and by the time he took my hand to lead me to the garage I knew I had a flushed and slightly hazy look on my face.

In the garage Lester saw me first and let out a loud whistle. "Holy cow Beautiful, you'll have half the bar trying to take you out tonight."

A few of the other guys had encouraging things to say and I could feel my confidence beginning to build that I might be able to pull this off after all.

When we got to the bar Ranger gave me the file of the skip and then gave me another hard kiss before sending me in with a sexy smile and a "Go get 'em, tiger."

_Tank's POV_

I hated that we were asking Steph to do a distraction. She had managed to find a way to refuse doing them for a while, so I wondered what Ranger had said to convince her this time. Over the last few months she'd finally begun to settle into herself again. She had the office running at top efficiency and all our clients were happy with little gifts being delivered on a regular basis as tokens of their appreciation for her assistance. But the one thing that hadn't happened yet was Steph resuming her work on distractions.

She was the best we'd ever seen and trying to replace her with someone else was a disaster that we eventually just gave up on. It was easier to do the work some other way instead of suffering through feeble attempts by other women. Ranger was worried about why she wouldn't do them anymore. He could care less about the money or the captures, but he was worried that she still had no confidence in her sex appeal and that's why she always refused to dust off her spiky heels and lure out the bad guys.

Ranger had warned me he was going to try and get her to do this one because he felt it would be safe and he wanted her to see that the world didn't see any changes in her body. She was still as hot as ever and he hoped having a skip follow her out the way they always did would help to prove the point.

I was at the bar because Ranger wanted me close by in case something went wrong. Quite frankly, I couldn't stand the idea of her having to get too close to the low life we were after, so I would have insisted on it anyway.

When she walked in I watched her scan the room and then ID the skip sitting at the end of the bar, looking out over the dance floor as though looking for his next victim. His MO was to get a girl all hot and bothered dancing, lead them out to "cool off", and then assault them in the parking lot. This guy had another thing coming if he thought he was going to be assaulting anybody tonight. There were twice as many guys as we normally had working this distraction and all of us were on high alert to keep her safe.

When Steph zeroed in on the skip she walked up to the bar, sitting two stools away from him and ordering a rum and coke. Placing the straight coke in front of her she smiled at me and winked before turning around to look at the dance floor. She kept glancing at her watch as though she were waiting for someone. The skip looked at her when she let out a long, drawn out breath.

"You waiting for someone?" He asked in a voice that totally hid his dark intensions.

"I was. My girlfriend was going to meet me here because I've wanted to go dancing for the last few weeks, but work has kept me too busy. And now that I'm here it doesn't look like she's going to show and I hate missing the chance to dance now that I've heard the music," she lied while the skip was eating up every word.

"Well, I can't help you with your friend, but I can help you with a dance," he offered holding out his hand.

She looked at it as though she were trying to make up her mind. His eyes fell to her knees when she uncrossed her legs and I knew her little hard-to-get routine would work. Finally she said, "I'd love to, but how about just one dance, and then I should probably get out of here."

The skip gave her a sick smile that made me want to jump the bar and drag him out of the joint for daring to think about my little girl that way.

They got through a dance together with him keeping his hands on her hips, allowing it to fall lower than I liked once, but Steph quickly corrected that. When the second song ended she leaned into the skip and said something. He smiled and nodded pointing to the door where Lester and Bobby were waiting to grab him.

I noticed he had his hand on her back and conveyed the info so they would know to let her clear first before pouncing. I listened as hard as I could for any sign that she was in danger but a few muffled sounds, followed by Bobby's voice telling Lester that he had him and to get up told me the take down couldn't have gone smoother.

By the time I got out, Stephanie was leaning against Ranger while his hands were running up and down her arms. The skip was being loaded into an SUV where Hal and Ram would take him to the station.

Lester came over and smiled before saying, "Beautiful, I was expecting you to be rusty and there might be trouble tonight but you just proved why you are the absolute best there is at getting the guys out easily." He placed a kiss on her head and told everyone good night.

"I'll see you in the morning, right Lester?" Steph called out to him, reminding him of the big day tomorrow.

"I'll be there," he promised while running to the truck with Bobby to head out.

I smiled at what we had planned for tomorrow and watched as Ranger gently led her back to the car to take her home. It was strange to think of our office as home. I always considered my apartment there as a temporary spot until I got my life organized enough to buy a place of my own. I guess in a lot of ways that's still true. But since Steph and Ranger eloped a couple months ago after a brief engagement, it has felt more like a family in the office and I couldn't help but think of it as home now.

_Stephanie's POV_

The next morning my alarm went off way too early. Somehow I had allowed Dr. M to talk me into helping her with the Breast Cancer Walk in Trenton, hoping that my notoriety as the famous Bombshell Bounty Hunter would bring more attention to the event. It was a 5K walk and I had arrived early for the meet and greet and to help with registration, then I was a part of the RangeMan team who had gathered sponsors and was participating in the walk itself to raise funds for research and awareness. As much as I hated all I had gone through over the last year, it was good to think I could prevent someone else from having to go through the same thing.

I had been very unsure about trying to do the walk. I had been working out in the gym to build up my strength and endurance, but I didn't want to become overwhelmed with exhaustion part of the way through and have to deal with the humiliation of having to quit. I wasn't sure if the guys were walking with me because they were committed to doing something to prevent other women from having to go through what I did, or because they were worried about me and wanted to be there to take care of me. Either way, I was glad to have them there.

Just as the I was about to worry that the guys were not going to make it, a black van pulled up like the ones Hector used for installations, and the back doors opened with Lester, Bobby, Cal and Hector coming out the back and Tank and Ranger getting out of the front. I couldn't help but smile with pride as the women around me stopped talking, immediately aware of the good looking men in black that were walking toward us.

I laughed out loud when one of the braver women said, "If they are ahead of me then I don't think I'll have any trouble walking today."

I made it a point to walk past her on my way to greet my friends and saying, "Most of them are single. Let me know if one part of your view is more appealing than others and I can arrange an introduction."

Ranger wasted no time in pulling me to him and giving me a kiss that warned me not to let the walk get me too tired because he had plans for the evening that would require me to have more energy. He failed to contain his self satisfied grin when I was slightly dizzy as he pulled back.

The announcer called for a start to the walk and we joined in the throng of people who had given up a Saturday to do something about this cause. I did well the first half of the route but I was beginning to feel the wear and tear of getting up so early, at least by my standards, and being so active even before the walk began.

It was just at the moment that I considered asking the guys if we could sit down for a while when Lester grinned at me and said, "I've got a surprise for you."

More interested in what he meant than resting, I asked what it was and he proceeded to pull off his RangeMan issue tight shirt to reveal a bright pink one underneath. It wasn't out of place as most of the group had on pink of some sort since that is the signature color for breast cancer awareness. The surprise part occurred when he turned around and began walking backward so that I could read the text in white. Printed across Lester's sculpted chest were the words, "I love boobies!" with a ribbon embossed as the signature logo for breast cancer.

I couldn't help but bust out laughing. Something about the humor of the shirt, combined with the fact that one of the tough guys from the office was wearing it, struck me as hilarious. When I finished and calmed down a little he came back to my side and said, "How about a ride?"

"What?" I asked, unsure of what he meant.

"You look tired," he said proving how he knew my face so well. "How about a piggy back ride and we can talk as we go?"

I didn't want to give up on the walk but I knew when I agreed to it that I might be pushing what I could handle. Before I had time to disagree he was in front of me slightly squatting down. I threw my arms around his neck and he grabbed my knees, heaving me onto his back.

"This okay?" he asked as we started moving. I rested my chin on his shoulder and made a happy sound, giving Lester a laugh.

We talked and laughed while he carried me on his back like a brunette hiking pack. I felt so lucky to have so many wonderful friends like the one who was literally carrying me when I needed a little help.

"Thank you," I whispered softly in his ear.

He leaned his head to mine and said, "Anytime, Beautiful. Besides, it's good for my image to be seen with a hot woman that can't keep her body off of mine."

"Something tells me you don't need any help getting women to want to press their bodies to yours," I added with a laugh.

"Not usually," he said with a trademark eyebrow wag. "But you do know I'd gladly carry you anywhere you needed to go," he said a little more seriousness.

"Thank you," I repeated with a kiss to his cheek. "I know having you in my corner trying to be sure I had a smile every day was a big part of why I was able to keep pushing."

He was quiet for a minute, making me wonder if I'd said something wrong. Finally he said, "It was so hard at first, thinking about my mom and how much it hurt to have her taken from us. Then when the chemo really started kicking in, I could almost see you getting weaker by the day and I was scared that despite you having every medical advantage that your struggle would end the same way my mom's did. Then I remembered her saying that sometimes the smallest things gave her the strength to keep trying, so I made it my mission to come up with something small every day to try and help keep you hooked into life."

"You did that," I assured him. "I could feel the support of the all the guys and I wanted to stay strong for you all, but you went beyond just supporting me and I can't thank you enough."

"Well, if you want to work on that debt then the next time we watch a movie as a group I think you should let me lean on you so you can play with my hair," he teased.

"Lester Santos, I think you were part cat in a past life," I teased him hopping off his back after a rest, feeling like I might be able to finish the rest of the way on my own.

_Tank's POV_

It was a nice day and it was great to have an excuse to be out of the office for a good cause. When Steph asked if any of us would walk with her I think every man in the building wanted to join, but she insisted on keeping the size of our team in line with the others that were registering. She'd been putting in extra workouts trying to be sure her endurance was up to the point of being able to handle the work before the event and then the walk itself. I was really proud of her.

Most of us were not used to moving so slowly over such a distance. We preferred to run, or at least jog, but we refused to go so fast that Steph wore down. I couldn't help but notice how tired she looked and just before I could say anything, Santos took off his black shirt and turned around to show Steph a pink one that said, "I love boobies!"

I hit Ranger to get his attention and pointed to Santos. Even the boss man had to crack a smile at that. It took a secure man to wear a pink t-shirt, and one with that slogan went beyond secure all the way to crazy. It seemed to amuse Steph so Ranger said nothing to force him to cover it up.

Before we understood what was happening Lester had turned around and Steph crawled up his back for a piggy back ride. Ranger literally growled like he was some wild animal about to mark his territory. I could see there was nothing in Santos' action other than concern for his friend, so I put a hand on Ranger's shoulder getting his attention and shook my head no.

Ranger looked from me to the free ride Steph was getting and then back again. "I know you don't like it," I agreed with him before adding, "But you can't interrupt. We all need to feel like we're a part of her life, him especially."

Ranger looked back over and let out a breath like he knew I was right but he didn't care for the idea at all. Thankfully, he let them go and didn't intrude. They appeared to be talking about something serious so I had a feeling it was important.

After a while he let her slide down his back to the ground and she seemed to have a little more pep in her step from the brief break. Ranger reached out and grabbed her hand, making me have to look away for a second to keep from laughing about how obvious he was being in claiming his wife in order to leave no doubt about who she belonged with.

When I glanced back Steph looked confused. Ranger swept her legs out from under her and carried her bridal style with a look of great intensity as they discussed something. Finally she started laughing, he called her name as though she was trying his patience, and then he sat her down letting her finish the race on her own two feet.

After we crossed the finish marker Ranger's cell phone rang so he walked to the side to take the call.

I walked over to Stephanie and asked, "You didn't care for your husband trying to show the world you belonged to him?"

She laughed and answered, "I think it's pretty obvious we belong together but I made him admit that he had no right to be jealous about Lester carrying me, despite him wanting to be the one that always helps me."

"He admitted it?" I pressed, unsure how she managed to do that.

"Well," ah, the truth would come out now. "He didn't so much admit it as he listened when I told him if he wanted to give me any rides of his own tonight then he had to let this one go." The little spitfire used sex against Ranger. That was a bold move and based on the way he was eyeing us talking, an effective one too.

Steph left us to talk to Dr. M, who was at the check out table and Ranger came back over to me.

"She did good, man. She finished the walk and helped out the organization. You've got a lot to be proud of." I told him with a smack on the back.

His eyes never left Stephanie but he did reply, "I do have a lot to be proud of, but it's got nothing to do with this walk."

I knew what he meant. Hell, a year ago if someone had told me I would be going out of my way to stay close to a sick woman, head over heels in love with my best friend, I would called them a fool. If they'd dared to suggest that I would give all that I had to help ease her suffering, despite her not being my woman, I would have laughed. But, if they'd clarified the woman in question was one Stephanie Plum I might have been able to picture it.

She had needled her way into all our hearts and by letting me help her, she made her way into my life as one of my dearest friends. She brought us goodness and unified us behind something worth treasuring.

When she finished at the table and began walking to us I saw Ranger shift and smile at her. A year ago he rarely smiled, never laughed, and found few things outside work to entertain him. Now he was relaxed, much more balanced, and happier than I'd ever known him.

I wouldn't wish this disease on anyone, but I could see the good that had come out of it. Being forced to think in terms of how much time they might have together probably helped them to admit things to each other much quicker than they would have on their own. And now that they were married and obviously happy, we all had a family to be a part of.

I couldn't hear what he said, but when he leaned down and kissed her Stephanie practically climbed up his body hooking her legs around his waist and clinging to him with no distance between them.

It was obvious they loved each other and their passion was hard to control because of the strength of their connection. Lester came over to me and nodded to Steph and Ranger, holding tightly to each other and not caring what was happening around them.

"Think they'll forget where they are and start making out?" Santos asked with a smile.

There was a time when I would have said absolutely not, but Ranger's hands were now "supporting" Steph's ass and based on the way his fingers were moving, I feared he might be losing himself to the moment.

As much as I hated to interrupt, I had promised to always have his back so I walked over and put my hand on Ranger's shoulder, making him break the kiss in an attempt to tell me to go away. "If you want to violate your woman in front of the press and several hundred people then be my guest, but Hector just pulled up with the van and if you can pull yourselves apart long enough we'll try to get you back to Haywood."

They sat next to each other in the back, holding hands and occasionally kissing. We'd gotten used to them like this so the guys tried to look away but there was something about seeing their happiness that made us all want to watch them just so we could convince ourselves that it was possible that we might find an equal measure of happiness some day.

Hector parked in the garage and everyone got out except Steph and Ranger. I waited for a minute, but they seemed to be involved so I slammed the doors and gave the guys a signal to walk away.

"Do you think he's going to bang her in the van?" Les asked, showing way too much interest in what might happen.

"I think if you watch the feed looking for signs of the shocks rocking then I'll kick your ass myself," I threatened.

Just as we stepped out of the stairwell I looked back at Les and added, "But if I were a betting man I'd say Steph is going to get out of that van a little more spent than when she got in it."

"Never thought I'd see the day when Ranger wouldn't even be able to get upstairs first," Les teased.

I'd seen Ranger with plenty of other women and I would have agreed. I guess it wasn't enough that he had a woman, it was most important that she be the right woman. And for Ranger, there was no other than our little girl, Stephanie Plum.

_A/N: Wow! I can't believe this story is finished. It doesn't seem like that long ago that I began posting, worried that people would think my use of such a personal subject for entertainment might be offensive. But your regular reviews and kind support kept me typing. This story has been a wonderful bit of therapy for me as I tried to take the chaos of all the emotions my family has been through with my mother and funnel it into a manageable story. The reviews and PMs you guys have sent have been beyond what I hoped for and I must admit this story will always be in my heart as the one where the readers reached out with their caring words and personal stories to help me stay focused and see it through._

_Since no story like this one is written by a single person alone there are two people I need to especially thank. First of all Fredda (Rangergirl1234), you were an angel to step forward to as the beta on my last story when I needed one in a pinch and now that you've got the job I can't imagine moving on without your red type carefully reviewing every chapter first. When I needed suggestions you were more than willing to step up and when I needed corrections you gently supplied those too. Thank you!_

_Maggie (Rangemansgirl), this story was written in honor of my mother but quickly became more than that. Your story in and of itself was inspirational, but the time you spent to leave me such detailed messages about every chapter helped my confidence that I was on track and kept me typing. I can't thank you enough for sharing your own experience with me as well as your impressions of the story and the emotions I so wanted to infuse into the story. You began the story as an inspiration and I believe you've ended it as a friend. Thank you!_


	25. Personal Update

On Monday, February 20, 2012, at 9:15 in the morning, my mother passed away. Because I had dedicated this story to her long and brave fight with cancer, I felt it fitting to update those who had asked of her heath to say that despite beating all the odds the doctor gave her, she passed peacefully at last.

No matter how long someone has suffered, and no matter how sick they became at the end, there are few losses greater than that of your mother, when she was also your friend.

Thank you for your kind words as I wrote her story. It is true what is said, that God needed the angels for the work of his kingdom, so in their place on earth, he gave us Mothers instead.


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